“Please, can you take off your disguise? Or at least lose the wig?”
“If I do, people might recognize me now much faster. Don’t you want peace?”

 

“Peace? I can’t be at peace seeing you in that unflattering wig.” I clicked my tongue.
Yoochun drew closer, “Does it really look bad on me?” he whispered.
I looked at him straight in his eyes and nodded firmly.

 

“I guess I need to change my look.” The star agreed as he cautiously glanced at his reflection from a store’s huge glass window.
“You should,” I paused, "You know, let's just head home, it is getting late." I ended changing the topic.
After my statement, I felt Yoochun suddenly halting. I slowly spun around and saw him staring at me.

 

“Yah, is something wrong?”
“Nothing… it’s still early, I think we should walk more.” He ended and instantly went off a different direction.

 

“Yah! Where are you going?”
Why are you making it harder for me Yoochun? I don’t want to be fully attached to you… I might not have the courage to let you go.

 

“If you want to catch me you better use those feet of yours!” the star shouted vibrantly as he ran.
 

As if I was stunned, I froze in place and watched him go. Is this the state I’ll be in when that day comes? No matter how hard I tried my feet wouldn’t move. Does this mean I shouldn’t follow you Park Yoochun?

 

“Yah! Look who’s the Ahjumma here! You can’t even run?” Yoochun exclaimed.
Should I follow you?
“What are you doing standing there? Come on Minah!” the star shot me a genuine smile. 
Despite that horrid wig, I can still appreciate your warming grin.
“Aish. Why are you being difficult?” he sprinted back towards me.

 

“I-I… I am just cold.” What an excuse.
“Really? Why didn’t you tell me?” he replied and gently placed his coat over my shoulders, “Let’s get some coffee to warm you up.”

 

~•~•~•~•~

 

“Here.” The star handed me a cup of warm coffee.
“Thank you.” I slightly bowed.

 

“You still feel cold?” he queried.
I swung my head from left to right.
“Just in case…” Yoochun gently wrapped his scarf around my neck.

 

“I am fine. Really…” I reassured him I made an attempt to take it off but he stopped me.
“Your face tells me otherwise.” He replied.

 

I guess no matter how hard I try, I won’t be able to fully hide my emotions in front of him.
“If you want to share it, I’ll listen.” The star ended and then, fell silent.

 

I did not say a word. Him, looking so calm like that, staring someplace else as to not put me in an awkward position, made me want to tell my thoughts, but then again, I can’t help but just cherish this moment that I believe won’t happen again.

 

~•~•~•~•~

 

“I thought we will never get pass them. They are everywhere.” The star sighed in relief as we entered the apartment house through the fire exit.

“They are really nosy huh.” I chuckled.
Yoochun stared at me, “Finally you laughed,” and ended with a smile.
“I’ll be going ahead now.” I pointed the staircase and slowly walked away from him.

“Wait.”
I turned around, “Yes?”
“Can I sing you a song?”
What? Sing me a song? Why?

He shot me another grin and headed up to his unit. I, still clueless, followed him anyway. The star stood near his grand piano and showed me a DVD case. The star claimed he has been watching the series and fell in love with one particular song. He decided to learn it and wanted me to hear his cover first.

Yoochun gently sat on the chair and pulled up the fall board. He scanned the white keys and lightly brushed his fingers over it. Before officially beginning he tried humming the tune a bit to check the condition of his voice. With all the mini preparations done, he started.

 

“Hajimal geol geuraesseo moreuncheok haebeorilgeol. Anboineun geotcheoreom bolsueobneun geotcheoreom neol aye bojimalgeol geuraetnabwa ...”

“…Maldo eobsi sarangeul alge hago, maldo eobsi sarangeul naege jugo”

His voice was soft at first and gradually towards the chorus the star sounded more emotional. As Yoochun went on with the song, I carefully listened to the lyrics.

Without a word, love abandons me.
Wondering what to say next…
Without a word separation finds me… the end comes to me.

It took my heart by surprise to send you away unexpectedly...

This pretty much sums up what I feel. Though, I am still not sure how bad I have it for him. It’s still questionable. But I am certain every day wouldn’t be the same once he leaves.

 

“Why are you crying?” The star pointed out. I caressed my cheeks and they have been wet from my tears. I turned my back and frantically wiped my face. I sensed the star nearing and I recklessly headed out. I ran to our apartment and locked myself in my room.

“Minah! Is there something wrong dear?” My mom’s voice echoed.
“Just tell us what’s bothering you.” I heard Yoochun’s anxious tone.

With that, my tears fall. I really don’t know what to do, what to say or what to think. I am completely lost. I couldn’t react properly to everything because I am not sure what I am to him. What my place is in his life. It’s not proper to ask now, not when everything is this tense.

 

Not having the courage to confess is driving me crazy. I am the only one who is hurting while he doesn’t even have a clue. When I think I have the strength to tell him, I get tongue tied. I simply admire him from a distance. Park Yoochun seems so unreachable, like he’s some fantasy that I’ll just keep dreaming about. It’s so frustrating.

 

It is my fault anyway… right? He didn’t tell me to like him but here I am sobbing in my room because of him. I-I don’t know what’s stopping me. I actually have nothing to lose if I say it. Am I just truly scared of rejection… that it will turn out like my relationship with Sungjae? 

Appa… what am I doing? Your little angel is lost. She’s confused too. She needs your help.

“If you are ready to tell me, just give me a call.” Yoochun stated. I heeded heavy footsteps fading and a door closing. Meanwhile, my mom found her spare keys and opened my door.

Without words she came to me and locked me in a tight embrace.    

 

~•~•~•~•~

 

So what am I supposed to do now?
 

Seriously, lying on my bed all day long is not healthy nor helping me. I haven’t talked to him for days now. I ignored his text messages and calls. I haven’t gotten out of our unit yet so I won’t bump into him. I am acting so childish but I don’t know how I should properly react to all this.

 

I am also not going to work since I begged our manager to allow me at least a week of “vacation”. I feel sorry for Hyekyo though because she’s the only one handling the transactions at the music store. Though I am honestly not in the right condition to work or do anything else. I have been officially a bum. Well, for the next remaining days that is.

 What to do? What to do?  I am bored to death but I can’t really leave… What if I just sneak out, get a little fresh air? I think my room will suffocate me soon. Alright, that’s it! I get some fresh air.
 

I rush out of my room and then quietly made my way to the stairs. My mom told me she saw Yoochun go out so I guess I am safe. I slowly descended and heard a voice echo…

“Hey.”

Surprise, surprise, Yoochun’s waiting at the end of the steps.

“Can we talk?”

Like a fool, I froze in place. I didn’t know how to respond. I had no idea…

“I am taking that as a yes.” He nodded and went up the flight, seeming to head to the rooftop.

As if I was hypnotized, I followed him mindlessly.

Yoochun, stood close to the ledge and I stayed behind him. I felt the intensity of his presence; it made me feel awkward in some way.

“Uhm, aren’t we going to be seen here?” I wondered, my tone filled with anxiety.
“I don’t mind.” He answered briefly.
“What-“ he cut me off,
“What’s up with you lately?” the star turned to me and tried to look at me straight in the eyes.

I kept my head down, “Nothing is up with me.”
He held my tight by my shoulders and leaned closer, “Tell me what’s been bothering you…”

Should I?

“What?”

I can’t answer…
 

“Don’t tell me you have feelings for me.” The star blurted.
“What?!” I folded my arms, “Tsk. No way.” I strongly disagreed.
“Uh, sorry I didn’t mean it. I wasn’t thinking right.” He apologized instantly.
“It’s fine.” I looked away.

It’s too late to tell the truth. And even if I did, I don’t think I’ll be helping. He might have a harder time leaving knowing how I feel. I am not saying he might like me back, but Yoochun might just get really confused or be bothered by it. The last thing I wish to do is be burdensome to him. As I have said, liking him was never and will never be part of the plan.

Yoochun looked me straight in the eyes, “Are you still planning to tell me what’s bothering you?”
I just gave him a blank stare in return, and right then and there he knew I wouldn’t dare say a word.

There was a moment of awkward silence until he suddenly embraced my tightly out of the blue. 
“I-I just want to tell you, I will always be here whenever you need me okay?” he gulped, “I cannot thank you enough for saving me. I owe everything to you. You know that right?”

His grip got much, much tighter I could hardly breathe right. Water started forming in my eyes. I clearly don’t know what else to say to him. Or should I actually say anything. Tears, rolled down my cheeks as I hear him sigh heavily.
 

“I…” I began, “I will miss you, Park Yoochun. I seriously will.” I muttered trying to hold back most of my tears.
“I already miss you. I already miss the cheerful Minah I know.” He let me go and he gently wiped my face with his warm hands.

I locked my eyes at his and just simply stared at him. I-I might never see him, in person that is. I know we live in the same country; we are bound to bump into each other. But chances would probably be a million to one. He is a star after all. I might just see him from afar if I get lucky. Why is it so hard right now? Why is it so hard to let my feelings go... to let him go, when it is best for him to leave? I want to be selfish right now and make him stay, however it means he will be giving up something he loves to do and I wouldn’t like that.

“I don’t want to lose the Minah I knew… I hope she comes back before I leave.” The star ended.
Yoochun suddenly walked pass me and instinctively I spun around.

He turned his head back a bit and stated, “If you are ready to talk, just let me know. I have to finish packing up my things…” I felt like he was going to say more, though he stopped and continued his walking. I was left hanging.

What else did you want to say to me, the Park Yoochun?

 

~•~•~•~•~

 

“Minah, come home quickly and bring Hyekyo with you. Araso?” I read to myself my mom’s text message.

I wonder what’s going on. Something is not right.
“Hey Hyekyo?” I tried to draw her attention.
“What’s up?”

“Did my mom mention to you about anything?” I questioned as I kept looking at her message.
“Huh, what? What do you mean by ‘anything’? I’m confused.” She scratched her head.
“Uhm she told me to come home right away and drag you along.” I explained with an eyebrow raised.
“I have no idea what she’s talking about.” My best gal answered.

“Alright then, I rest my case. Let’s just finish up now so we could leave.” I ended and went on to helping Hyekyo close the store.

“Let’s go.” I initiated as I check the final locks.
“Don’t you think we should bring beer or something?” Hyekyo asked.
Puzzled, I reacted, “Beer? Why is there a party or something?”
My best gal’s eyes widened. “Uhm, well I was just thinking your mom cooked, why not buy beer to uhm, drink the night away?”
I squinted, “What are you guys up to?”
Hyekyo threw her hands up, “Nothing. Let’s just get going shall we?”
 

~•~•~•~•~

 

“Surprise!!!” the party poppers sounded distinctly.
 

My expression did not change at all. Why? Well… There was huge banner saying, ‘Thank you Minah.’ Who else would say message be from other than Yoochun?

“What’s with the long face dear?” my mom questioned as she awkwardly stood with used up poppers on her hands.
I shook my head, “Nothing.” I paused and took a deep breath, “And really, you didn’t have to go to all this trouble just to say ‘thank you’.”

“I insisted.” Yoochun said.
Before I could react Hyekyo pushed me towards the middle of the room.
My mom held me by the wrist, “Take a seat, I bet you are really hungry after a tiring day at work.”
“Mom, I am okay, really-“ she cut me off, “Silly, don’t you ever refuse food Minah.”

As I forced myself to eat, Hyekyo grabbed a mic and started a karaoke machine-that I have no idea how she acquired- and began singing crazy. My mother jumped along as well and I just had to do an imaginary face palm. I just don’t feel festive at all, that’s why.

 

I felt Yoochun carefully sit beside me. He cleared his throat and pretended to watch my best friend and my mother. I anxiously put my chopsticks down and drank a few sips of water.  I don’t know how to start, should I say ‘Thank you’ or should I say something else or maybe say nothing at all?

“Having fun?” the star began.
“Uhm yes.” I sheepishly nodded.
“That’s good.” He flashed his charming smile. Oh god I was blinded.
I clasped my cold hands and glanced at him blankly, “Thank you for doing this. But I don’t know how to receive it in a way you wouldn’t be offended at all.”
“You being here is enough Minah. I don’t need to hear anything else from you. Your presence can suffice.”
Those were the right words to send shivers down my spine… I couldn’t say a thing but, “Yoochun.”

 
“Come on Minah! Grab a beer let’s get it on tonight!” Hyekyo chirped as she opened what seems to be her second can of beer.
“Loosen up dear!” Mom followed with a can in her hand as well. This is going to be a long night. Sigh.
 

~•~•~•~•~

Ten, eleven, twelve… should I bother counting the empty cans? The fact my mother and my best gal friend are sound asleep on the couch tells me they had a lot.

The whole time those two were having fun, Yoochun and we were just quietly watching while casually drinking. I barely finished my second beer though.

Unexpectedly, I was not awkward with him. Which was weird because I have a lot of reasons to be awkward towards him, however, I was comfortable as heck.  

 

Now that the two “party” people are down, we both began cleaning up.  In the midst of it, Yoochun requested if I could talk to him alone. He was pertaining to us, going to the rooftop. No questions asked, I agreed. We dropped everything and went up.

 

Yoochun cleared his throat quite a few times then spoke up, “I’d never thought this day would come.”
I didn’t know what to say and I guess he felt that, so he just continued, “I have no idea how else I could say this… but thank you for everything Minah. Who would have thought I’d actually get out of that, supposed-to-be-inescapable-depression… “

“I’m just happy that you’re happy now Yoochun,” was all I could utter.
 The star then attempted to look at me straight in the eyes, “You do know that you mean a lot to me right?”
“I guess.” I glanced away, not being able to take the tension building up.
“This will sound cheesy and all, but from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much Lee Minah.” He ended and locked me in a tight, meaningful embrace.
 

I gave in eventually and hugged him with all the strength I had, because I had this feeling it would be the last. We probably stood there for a few lengthy minutes but when I let go, I felt like I actually wanted it to go on longer. I wish I could hug him back again, however, if I did I might get to the brink of being too emotionally attached already; that I will forever look for his warmth, that security… Wait, why am I saying these things, I should stop.  

When I had the guts to look back at him after that ‘farewell’ hug, I kind of noticed his eyes swelling a bit. No, Park Yoochun, please, don’t start.

“Minah I-“ I am pretty sure he was holding back his tears.
“Yes?”
“Minah I—“

What, what do you want to say to me?

“I do hope this won’t be the last time I’ll be seeing you.”  
 

I couldn’t say a thing. I am glad he said that, but I don’t know, what should I say?
 

He lightly massaged the nape of his neck and continued, “So I’ll being seeing you tomorrow?”
I did my best to smile back and slightly nodded.
 

Yes, see you tomorrow Park Yoochun.

 

~•~•~•~•~

 

Hi Appa. I hope you’re doing well. I guess you could say I’m fine myself. Right, who am I kidding I am not okay. I-I just don’t know what to feel dad. I am so confused. Maybe the reason why I don’t want to confess is because I’m just scared of rejection. But then I should try right? I have been saying that to myself for ages now but it doesn’t seem to nudge me even just a little bit. I wish you were here Appa, I am pretty sure you’d know what to do.  

 

Well, this is the day I was afraid to wake up in. It’s time to let him go.

“Minah?” my mom knocked.

“Come in.”
“Are you ready?” she questioned.
“Uhm, I think so.”

“Aww, come here dear let me give you a hug.” She stated and gave me a tight embrace, “Remember what I told you Minah, this is not the end.”

“Yes Umma, it’s just so difficult for me. It’s like losing Appa all over again.” I confessed and began tearing up.
My mom lightly patted my back and stated, “There, there Minah. I know you will overcome this.”

There was a knock on our front door; we both knew who it could be, so we stood up. I followed my mother to the living room. She held my hand and twisted the knob on the other.  As expected, it was Park Yoochun.

No words were needed; he just politely smiled at my mom and entered.
“I’ll leave you guys alone.” She muttered and let go. My mother went straight to her room and left me with the star.
 

Yoochun closed the door behind him and began, “I’m honestly so nervous right now.”
I giggled, “What? The star is nervous?”  

He shot me a quick grin, “Well, it’s not like I have been out of the limelight for a long time. I guess, just starting all over again… It scares me a bit, you know?”
“Hey, you shouldn’t worry too much. You’ll be alright. If you were able to get through such a deep depression, you can do practically anything.” I encouraged.
“If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t actually be here, alive.”

Park Yoochun, suddenly grasped my hands.  
“I am not quite sure if I thanked you enough Minah, I-I am just so grateful.”
“You’re welcome.” Was all I could utter.

“So… I- uhm, I’ll see you soon?”
“That is if you’re not too busy, maybe.” I smiled.
 

“I’ll always have time for you Minah. Remember that.” Yoochun said and reached out to me, giving me the good-bye embrace.
“Just do me a favor Yoochun, stay away from rooftops okay?” I joked.
“Yes ma’am!” He played along.

 

The star released me slowly. We both looked at each other’s eyes. I bet he had a ton of things to say like I did. But we probably just couldn’t put them into words, or there are no words that can tell how we feel. Although, it might be words that we just didn’t want to utter or didn’t have the right amount of courage to say.

 

I am not sure how my everyday would be, knowing he won’t be next door. I’m as afraid as he is but on a totally different matter.

It’s not easy; I want it to be, but, that’s how things are. We will get hurt one way or the other, even if one tried their best not to fall, they fall. They become vulnerable, whatever your social class, financial standing, IQ test results or the way you perceive life. If it is painful, it’s painful.

 

I hold in my tears and smirked at him, “Good luck out there.”
“Take care of yourself okay?” he ended.

 We did one last hug, and the star made his way down the apartment, where his family and of course the paparazzi, waited for him.

 

I told myself I wouldn’t watch him leave, but another part of me wanted to. My feet dragged me all the way to the rooftop and saw the frenzy as soon as Yoochun stepped out.

 

I guess, this is really it.
 

~•~•~•~•~

 

Do I still think about him? Hyekyo always, I mean always asks me this question.
Of course, I think I am far from actually being totally over the thought of him.
But I try to live, as if I never met him. I think it’s not the best way but it sort of works for me.

 

The fact that the Park Yoochun still messages me a few times does not help either. It was lessened when news broke out he was starting a new comeback album. It’s understandable he’s super busy. I guess I learned not to care?

 

I don’t know. I haven’t been truly sure about my thoughts and feelings lately.

 

“Minah, I heard Yoochun is having a new album, why don’t you congratulate him. Write him a letter.” My mom suggested as she brought freshly cut fruits to the table.

 

“I am not sure about that…” I muttered.
“You know dear, you can’t be a brick forever. Just say hi, catch up, tell him the truth maybe?” she took a small bite on a melon.
“We say hi sometimes.” I excused.
“He texts so, okay… but you never really talked long enough.”
“It’s enough mom.”
“You are so stubborn. There is nothing wrong with my suggestion. It won’t kill you.” My mom stated.

 

I hate it when she is right.

“If you can’t write it, I will, just tell me what you want to say.” My mom insisted.
“Fine Umma, if it will make you stop… I’ll do it.” I gave in.
 

~•~•~•~•~

Dear Yoochun,

Hey there. How are things? How is your family? I’ve seen a few posts about you on the internet lately. It seems you’re doing fine. I heard you’re working on a comeback album. I wish for its success when it comes out. I’ll make sure to advertise it every time someone comes to our store. Hyekyo, mom and I will strongly support your upcoming work. Anyway, I am not sure what I really want to say in this letter… Let’s say I was somehow forced to write you one by somebody. It’s not that I did not like to say hi. I just think you wouldn’t have the time to read this.

 

You know it’s funny and amazing at the same time. I never knew I would actually have a famous friend. I am very honored. You know what’s even funnier? I found myself actually liking you. Who knew someone so annoying could be likeable? Weird right?

I don’t know what else to say. I am lost for words. Well, good luck! Fighthing!

 

Sincerely,
Lee Minah

I can’t believe I am doing this, I am sending a real letter telling him I like him. It’s a vague confession but, that’s the best I could come up with. He’s finally going to know. Hyekyo rejoiced when she heard about me writing one. And right now, she offered herself to accompany me to the postal office.

“No turning back Minah. No turning back now.” Hyekyo stated holding the envelope, just to make sure it won’t get burned or ripped apart by yours truly.
“Yes, yes I know.” I bobbed my head.

“Okay, so let’s make sure the address is correct. We need to be certain that it gets to him.”

Hyekyo checked the back for the address and recited it to me as I looked at my copy from my mobile phone.
“Yup that’s his address, that’s the one he sent me a few months ago.” I assured my best gal.
 “Okay it’s set.”

 

I am hella nervous right now. I-I just don’t know what will happen next. Hyekyo, said I have got nothing to worry about. Why should I worry? I could probably think of a lot of reasons but my brain isn’t just working right now.

It’s going to be a waiting game starting now.
 

~•~•~•~•~

 

“Ya, Minah! Why don’t you help me here for a sec, and stop replaying your boyfriend’s music video?!” my best gal shouted.
“What? He’s not my boyfriend!” I denied.
“Uhuh, right. Could you just lend me a hand? Please.” She calmed down a bit.
“Yes ma’am!” I mocked and placed my phone aside.

I tied my hair in a ponytail and began stacking new CD’s on the shelf. 
“You know I gotta be honest. Yoochun looks fine in his album cover. See!?’ She positioned the picture closely to my face that I almost became cross-eyed.
“Yeah, I know.” I lightly slapped her hand away and continued with my business.
 

“Have you listened to the whole album?” Hyekyo wondered as she opened a new box of another artist’s CD’s.

“Not quite.” I answered.
My friend grabbed the store’s copy and opened it.
“What are you doing, slacking off?” I questioned.
“It’s not slacking…” she was browsing through the album jacket.

I suddenly felt an awkward silence from her. I glanced at Hyekyo and saw her staring at me weirdly.
“What?” I innocently queried.
“You better read this.” She pointed at a particular paragraph.
 

“Wait, is this for real?!” I couldn’t believe this, the Park Yoochun mentioned us in his ‘Thank You’ section.
“Yeah it’s for real?!” Hyekyo got excited, “I mean come on, probably not everyone would read this but I feel so famous!?” she continued.

Wow, I don’t know. I just felt extremely happy, after a long while. It definitely was very thoughtful of him.

“We have to show this to your mom!!!” My best gal screamed.

 

So, after showing it to my mother, from then on we kinda watched Yoochun’s progress, from television, the internet, and the papers. He’s practically everywhere now. Is it insane how someone you know, is actually loved by many? It never really sunk in ‘till all this hype about him.
 

Anyway, one good thing, I actually went back to university. I mean I am not that young, but I am glad to be in school. I am taking up a degree in Psychology. I’d been out of this for somewhat a while, so it’s pretty difficult to fulfill so many tasks done in a short period of time. I am still getting the hang of it.

 

I seldom get to chat with him. Yoochun calls me now but I could only count our conversations over the phone with one hand. It is not plenty. I still have no clue whether he read my letter yet. He still sounds very casual to me. It’s either he’s pretending to act cool or well, the letter never reached him. Nonetheless, it’s probably because he’s been busy.

 

~•~•~•~•~

 

“Umma! I’m home.” I lazily dropped my things and went straight for the couch.
“It looks like school hasn’t killed you entirely.” My mom kid.
I had no more energy to speak, so I sluggishly nodded.
“Oh by the way, you have mail.” My mother handed me an envelope, “I did not open it yet.” She ended.

 

I let out a deep sigh and grasped the envelope. I sit up and struggled to open it, and when I finally did it, my brows met.
“Please tell me what I am seeing is right Umma.” I shook my head a bit, “Are these concert tickets?” I showed her.
“Why, yes they are concert tickets. It’s Yoochun’s event.” She reassured.

Oh my gosh, I-I… Is this seriously happening right now?

“There is even a note…” my mom continued, “Dear Minah, here are three VIP concert tickets to my upcoming concert in Seoul. Please bring your mom and Hyekyo with you. I wish to see you there.” She read out loud.

 

“How time flies…” was all I could utter.

 

~•~•~•~•~

 

“Gosh, how long have been these young people lining up?” My mom wondered, amazed by the number of fan girls and a number of boys as well, waiting outside.

“They must have been here since yesterday.” Hyekyo guessed.
“Are kids like these nowadays?” Mother asked.
“Umma, don’t tell me that back in your day… You never lined up for a concert like this?” I questioned.
“No, honestly no. I think it’s ridiculous.” She sounded so repulsed.
“Let’s just be happy Yoochun got us VIP tickets, so we wouldn’t have to wait in line all day.” I ended.
 

We got to the venue about an hour before the concert. We had reserved seats, so it wasn’t a hassle for us. And the feels of being VIP for free is just unbelievable.

“Oh, oh! Check out that hot poster of Yoochun!” Hyekyo shouted.
“Stop it Hyekyo, you didn’t have to announce to everyone what you think about him.” I tried to ease up my excited friend.
“But he just looks so different!” She tried to reason.
“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes.
 

“Seriously Minah, are you here to support him or not?” My friend folded her arms.
“Yeah, but let’s not be all loud about it.” I stated.
“Girls, look I bought some glow sticks!” My mom suddenly showed us her newly bought light sticks.
“The nice people at that stall told me it’s essential to have one, you know when you go to these concerts.” And then my mother handed both of us one.

 

“Mom, you didn’t have to buy this you know.” I advised.
“Why not?! We are just trying to be supportive.” She uttered.
“Yeah unlike somebody here.” My best gal Hyekyo muttered.

 

“Hey it’s not like that…”

“Okay, so what’s up then?”
“I guess, I’m just nervous to see him again.” I confessed.
 

“It’s been quite a really long time…” I ended, my arms crossed.

“Don’t fuss about it too much honey.” My mom stated while lightly patting my shoulder.
 

~•~•~•~•~

 

It wasn’t quite dark yet as I expected it to be. Lights were dimmed. We tried finding our reserved seats; it wasn’t such a drag since we asked a few staff members to help us find them.  Upon sitting I glanced around and saw huge banners, colorful bright headbands and glow sticks.  Wow, so this is really it, I am actually going to see him in the flesh.  After all this time I’ll be seeing the not-so-broken-down Park Yoochun. And the fact that I helped him get back up, I actually gave me that “proud mom” feeling.

 

A few minutes after getting seated, it suddenly went dark. Spotlights hit the center stage, music started playing. Fans all over the arena just started shouting their hearts out. Then a video began playing on the huge LED screens. It was the star’s face ten times larger.

“Whoo!!!” Hyekyo jumped on the band wagon, while waving the glow stick on her right hand.
 

By the end of the video I found my mom and me shouting with them.  Szmoke came out where the lights hit and a silhouette began rising above the stage. Screams got louder and the hype got much more intense.

 

“Are you guys ready?!” a familiar voice blew up the speakers.
The fans got crazier at this point. Music enclosed the area and the star begins singing an old but popular pop track as his opening number.

A couple more tracks followed until he had this “half time break” and met up with his lucky fans on stage. They played games with the star; they also showed him the dance moves they learned from some of his older songs.

 

It was such a nice view, seeing him smile from ear to ear like that, just melts my heart… wait. What I meant was I was so happy for him.

 

As the organizers ended the small interaction between their idol and them, other staff members rolled out a black grand piano hinted with gold embellishments.

“Alright, so this is the part where we slow things down…” Yoochun said as he tried to fix his earpiece.

“I am sure everyone knows what I have been through right?” he asked.
The fans all answered in unison a, “Yes.”
Park Yoochun smiled as he settled down on the beautiful instrument, “So I wrote this song, while I was preparing for my come back…” he took a deep breath.

 

“This sort of is… like a thank you to that special person. As soon as the fans heard ‘special person’ there were varied reactions.

Hyekyo instantly shouted, “That person is my friend!!!” but no one paid attention since they were minding their own broken, happy or confused feelings.

“He is so sweet dear, he wrote you a song.” My mom stated, brushing my hair with her warm fingers.

“Umma, I am pretty sure it was for all of us.” I denied.

 

“I know that person is out there somewhere right now.” The star added, making the crowd more curious.

“This one is for you…” he ended it with that, not making a long speech. His hands landed on the keys and began playing a wonderful melody.

 

[Author’s Note: Lyrics are patterned to fit into JYJ’s song “In Heaven”. It ends after Yoochun’s part, before the next part of Jaejoong.]

 

♫ “I was a mess, when our eyes first met.”

♫ “You had no clue, what kind of hell I was going through, but then you lend me your hand, fully giving me your trust, even if we barely knew each other.”

 

♫ “Time passed so quickly when you were by my side, my aching heart slowly starts to heal its wounds. You girl gave me new found hope, showed me there’s so much more to life. I am happy to be laughing again.”

 

People, despite the slight uproar, put up their light sticks and waved it from left to right; the crowd became silent. The star filled the arena with his sweet calming voice.

I leisurely glanced at my mom and my best friend and saw them tearing up a bit. It is kinda weird why I am not crying right now. Maybe later…

As Yoochun hit his high notes, I cannot help but rewind a few scenes in my head, reliving those memorable moments.

There were much more that happened after that touching number, however I will just sum it up in one word, breath-taking.

 

 

“Thank you for each one of you who came tonight on this special event. This means a lot to me that you all became a part of it. Thank you very much!” The star made a huge and sincere bow and left the stage, like he was running for his life.

Some lights went on and people started getting up, some of them conversing and fangirling while others were taking pictures.

“That was an awesome concert Minah!” Hyekyo chirped.
“Oh yes, I never felt so alive.” My mother excitingly added.
“Yeah it was pretty awesome.” I ended.

 

We all tried stretching a bit and gathered all our belongings. “Why don’t we try seeing Yoochun backstage?” I surprisingly suggested. It just came out of my lips.

“We should have brought him something though.” My mom brought that up too late now.
“You’re right! We should have bought him a cake or something.”  Hyekyo added.
“It’s fine, maybe next time. I bet he has tons of cakes in his dressing room right now anyway.”

 

We made our way to the metal rails separating the eager fans and the star. We went up to one of the bouncers.

“Hi, we are Yoochun’s friends,” I showed the tall and toned man the special tickets the star sent us, “and we were wondering if we could see him, even just for a couple of minutes?”
“I am very sorry ma’am… tickets won’t do. Unless you have backstage passes, you cannot enter, even if you are friends of Mr. Park Yoochun.” He coldly replied.
 

“But we know the guy! Ask him, he will recognize us in a second!” Hyekyo protested.
“I am just following strict orders from his management ma’am.”

 

“Honey, we just want to see him for a short time.” My mother sweetly requested.

“No can do ma’am.” His voice was still firm.

“Sigh, mom, Hyekyo, it is fine. Let us not force our way in.” I surrendered on their behalf.

“But we are his friends. And you are the one who brought him back up.” Hyehyo whispered.
“It’s okay Hyekyo. We can just probably arrange a meeting with him or something.” I stated as I tried pulling them away.

 

~•~•~•~•~

“Wow that was some concert, what do you think dear?”  Umma questioned as we made our way up our apartment.
“It was.” I nodded.

 

We reached the front door, “Hey mom, you go in first… I think I want to get some fresh air.”
“Alright honey, don’t stay up too late, you have school tomorrow.” She advised and walked right in.

“Yes umma.”

 

I went straight to the stairs leading to the rooftop. I guess I just need to take it all in.

 

I opened the door and a cold wind caressed my cheeks. I paced towards the bench and sat down.

 

I am still in awe, gosh. He is back, on his way to success. I just—

 

“Getting cozy up here?”

 

I spun around and, “Wha—what are you doing here?”

“Just visiting.”

 

“I thought you were busy?” I wondered.
“Well, I am but I had the chance to drop by and…”

 

“I— can’t believe it, Yoochun.” I cut him off.
“It’s been forever huh?” the star smiled.

 

I was speechless. I couldn’t say anything else. I was definitely star struck. I feel so silly right now.

He came closer as I stood up, still surprised.

 

“I’m sorry I haven’t seen you as often like I said I would.”

“What are you talking about? It is fine. I know you are busy.” I chuckled.

 

“Busy, busy, busy…is that all you could say little girl?” Yoochun questioned.

“Is there something specific I have to say?” My brows met.

 

“Maybe try something between the lines of… I missed you or it’s great to see you?” he uttered.

 

What did I just hear what he just said?

“Wha—?”

 

The star immediately locked me in a tight warm embrace.

“I’ve missed you Lee Minah.”

 

I took me a while to give in, “I—I missed you too.” And I started tearing up.

 

He slowly let go and looked me straight in the eyes. It was kind of awkward, that I had to look away every few seconds.

“I hope you liked the song I wrote for you.”

 

“I loved it. It was so heartfelt.” I smiled and tried to brush off the water forming on my eyes.

“That song didn’t come easy though.” He laughed while scratching his head.

 

“This is so out of the blue, but how did you get here unnoticed?” I had to ask.

“I worked my magic.”

 

Okay. I guess I shouldn’t know the rest of the details. I am just so happy to see him. I just feel so giddy inside. It’s like seeing Cherry Blossoms for the first time. It’s just wonderful. I can’t stop smiling.

“I’ve missed talking to you like this.” The once-damned-star my freezing cheeks.

“Likewise.”

 

And we were silent.  Yoochun carefully came closer and closer. Too near actually. I have an idea what he is attempting to do, but I can’t seem to find myself move or even react to this. The star’s soft lips pursed mine. I was quivering.

 

His hands traced the small of my back and mine fell into place as well. There’s a sudden rush inside me as I shut my eyes.

So many emotions circulated my body and my mind. I couldn’t tell what I was feeling exactly. But this is an amazing sensation. I know it’s not my first, but it’s just… incredible.

 

 

 

[Author’s “Apology” Note]

 

 

I said I was going to finish this last year and if I didn’t post this now, it would have been a year since that last promise. I am very sorry to my faithful readers for taking ‘effin long on this last chapter. I hope I did not disappoint you. I didn’t want to end it with something cliché like an “I love you.” I left it at that so your imaginations can wander off far far away. It’s up to you guys now, how it all ends.

 

As a finale I made a poster and a video trailer!!! Yey!
Video: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xB7hch4Z-Ts]

So this was uploaded way back but published just now... Yes I did this way back last year when I was supposed to finish this chapter. But work got in the way, I barely had a social life, and well I couldn’t finish. Huhu but now I did! *part poppers*

 

Hope you guys like the video too!!! Send me some great comments down below, I always love hearing from you guys.

This story is pretty much old and probably forgotten and cannot compete with other stories out there but hey, I enjoyed writing this! So I wish you enjoyed reading this too! Thank you again for tuning in. Love y’all! Until the next story!!!