Sheet 12

 

 

Yesterday’s scene was very… how can I put it into words? It’s very, uhm. I am speechless actually. Well, in the end I ate what I was supposed to give Yoochun. I couldn’t go back there. The whole situation was too sensitive for me to interfere at all.  I couldn’t imagine myself standing in between them as they discussed about important matters while still holding the melting dessert on my hands.

 

I can’t believe I was so slow not to realize that Minkyung could have been Yoochun’s ex-girlfriend. Well she is, but it never dawned to me until that oh so dramatic reunion. I kinda feel bad though, it was me who brought her there, and I don’t think Yoochun was ready to meet her. The look painted on his face says it all. His reaction was similar to seeing a monster or some super natural creature.

 

What have you done Lee Minah? Just when the star was getting better, he will be damned all over again, because of one little mistake.

 

I kept staring at this piano key chain I wish to give him. I know I did not want to buy any Yoochun-related item back at that stall but I just find the trinket to be really cute. I thought this would cheer him up too. I guess if I hand this to him now, he’ll just throw it away on to the ground.

 

“Aish.” I uttered with much frustration as I hit my head a few times.

 

I wonder what happened after though. I haven’t gone outside since yesterday. It is also my day-off, so there really is no reason for me to head out. Maybe I should go check up on him.

 

I sprung up and was about to walk out my room when part of me hesitated. What if they already made up and because of so much love they did it at the same night they reunited?

 

Wait, what am I saying? That’s not possible… or is it? Ugh, I have been watching too many dramas lately. I should man up! I took in a deep breath and marched my way to the star’s unit.

 

The second I stepped outside I couldn’t help but notice Yoochun’s main door, wide open. That is pretty careless of him. I gradually walked towards his place when a strong scent of alcohol greeted my nose.

 

Eww. Why is his place reeking of alcohol again? Did he have a drinking spree last night? I held my breath and hopped inside, only to find a messy living room with cans of beer everywhere.

 

“Yoochun?” I called him, scanning the area keenly. However there was no trace of him. I wonder where he is. I made my way out and noticed the rooftop’s door open. He must be out there.

 

I climbed the stairs and saw a weak and hopeless man, staring out the orange skies.

 

“Y-” I hesitated. He looked so miserable like when I first met him in this very place.

 

I bit my lips and gathered all my courage and called his name gently, “Yoochun.”

 

The star did not budge one bit so I allowed myself to come towards him.

 

“Hey is everything alright?” I cautiously queried as I went closer.

 

The pale Yoochun just shot me a blank dark stare, his eyes still a bit teary. I instantly felt bad for him and my guilt worsen. I tried to stand beside him as near as possible. Once I got comfortable, my hand reached for him and I began to pat him on his back.

 

“You saw everything yesterday… right?” he sniffled.

 

I was afraid to answer him. I don’t know where this conversation will head off to.  I’ll just have to take in whatever he says as to not add to his current stress.

 

“Y-yes.” I responded, uncertainty surrounding my tone.

 

“That lady is Minkyung… my ex.” He uttered, while emphasizing ‘ex’. His eyes traced my face and shot me a gaze I have never seen before. I can’t even describe it.

 

“Oh, really?” I acted as if I had no idea whatsoever, taken aback by his chilling glance.

“D-do y-you know h-how she found this place?” he questioned, stuttering at some words.

“Uhm… My mom and I bumped into Minkyung upon going home. I did not know who she was, so we helped her find this place.” I explained, not knowing how he will react to my confession.

 

Yoochun kept quiet after my statement and seemed like he was thinking intensely. What have I done?

“I-I am sorry I left you--” my apology for leaving him alone that time was cut off.

“She wants to get back with me.” He stated bluntly.

 

What?! Did I hear him right? That woman, that Minkyung wants to get back with him? Why? Isn’t she going to make things puzzling for this star that just got back up from the depression she, herself caused? This is crazy.

 

Even if I am raging on the inside, I need to keep my cool in front of him, “Why did-” unfortunately he cut me off…again.

 

“When those words entered my ears, I suddenly felt weak. I was so vulnerable.” He released a heavy sough and pursued, “Just when I am starting to move on, she shows up and asks me to give her a second chance.”

 

“I have to admit that when I saw her again I was overjoyed. It has been a while since I laid eyes on her. However, I was reminded of all the painful events that occurred between us. My heart was pierced. ” he added shedding a few tears.

 

The star faced me and unexpectedly locked me in a tight hug, “What should I do Minah?”

 

I froze because of his sudden action and I could not respond so instead I gave myself the liberty to embrace him back.

 

 “Well, if you were only reminded of the bad memories, then I guess you shouldn’t give her any chance at all, unless you want to be miserable again.” I advised, still comforting the star with my warmth.

 

His tears touched a bare part of my skin and like acid it burnt me. I acknowledged the fact I like him… and sadly it has to end there. I can sense, by the way he is acting that he still loves this woman. Despite the hardships she had brought him, he can’t let go of her.

 

“I-I think I want to get back with her.” He suddenly uttered as he gradually released me.

“What?! Why?!” I couldn’t help but sound as if I protest.

“She asked for my forgiveness and promised me that she will do her best not to let her career get in between us.” Yoochun narrated.

“What if it happens all over again?” I blurted.

“It won’t.” he objected my statement.

 

I wished to fight back but I don’t want to have an argument with him. I don’t believe his decision would be the best for him, but it is his life, I shouldn’t control it. Whatever the outcome is, I’ll just be here to support him.

 

However the truth is, I disapprove of them getting back together. It hurts. It was too late before I realized I like the star. I am not sure if this is fate toying with me, or I was just really busy taking care of him that it never dawned to me that I acquired feelings for this guy. Now, it is but a dream. A dream that might, or worse, will never come true. I should disregard whatever I feel towards him, so as to not make this small but significant pain grow bigger.

 

~•~•~•~•~

 

I am wide awake and on my way to work. My departure is earlier than usual. I could not sleep well last night. There were so many thoughts clouding up every space inside my head.  I promised myself to start forgetting this ‘extra’ emotion I have for the star and pretend that liking him never ever crossed my mind.

 

Just when I passed by the unit of Yoochun, his door flew open.

 

“Oh, hey Minah. Good morning.” His deep voice echoed in my ears.

 

I stopped for a second spun my head around and said a, “Hi.” After that I immediately headed downstairs.

 

W-what did I just do? Did I, Lee Minah, give Park Yoochun the ‘cold shoulder’? Whoa, that was very unintentional.  Seriously, it came to me like reflex, with a single snap, cold Minah took over.  I am scaring myself. Aish.

 

I am a few blocks away from the apartment house, when my phone began ringing. I assume the star got shocked when he saw that side of me, -I never even knew I had it in me- and is now calling, probably wondering what he did wrong. Although I am unsure of how I am going to explain myself to him so I have to ignore him. Ugh, so early in the morning and I already acquired a headache.

 

~•~•~•~•~

 

“You see Yoochun… I had this urgent meeting with my boss so I had to leave. Please don’t misunderstand my action earlier.”

 

I think that excuse would do it. Well I really wouldn’t be in this mess if only, if only I acknowledged him properly a while ago; if I did not allow my emotions to take control. Aigoo.

 

The star sent me a text message when I was still at work, asking if he did something wrong, as expected. I did not dare reply because I was unsure of what I should say. I don’t want to have a sudden outburst of statements and regret saying it to him in the end. So I guess I just have to clear my mind for now and stay a bit distant from him as possible.

 

“Minah.” I heeded a familiar voice call out my name.

     

My eyes landed on Yoochun’s silhouette. I really can’t hide from this guy huh?

 

“Hi.” I said shortly.

 

He pulled up his sunglasses and replied, “Hey…” he added, “I was on my way to the music store, because I wanted to walk you home, besides you don’t look okay earlier so I-I got worried.”

 

“We are still a block away from the apartment house. You could walk me from here.” I beamed at him, touched by his overflowing concern. The star smiled in return and we both began strolling down the sidewalk.

 

“You really don’t have to bother walking me home all the time.” I continued the halted conversation.

“It just became a habit I can’t break.” He responded sluggishly looking away.

A habit he can’t break? What is he saying?

“You really don’t have to bother.” I reiterated, my voice turning gloomy.

I felt Yoochun stop, so I copied him. His warm hand met my shoulder and forced me to face him.

 

“Hey, you have been acting strange since this morning... You are not answering my calls and text messages as well… What’s up with you?” he uttered sounding like he is my… boyfriend or something. Wait, scratch that word. I did not say such a thing.

“I-I was b-bu-busy.” I stuttered as well as failed to say what I was practicing on my way home.

“Chincha? (Really)” he asked, his hand falling beside him.

 

Instead of replying, I nodded my head and began walking away from him. The star quietly trailed behind me, probably watching my every move. A few steps towards the apartment, a bright light flashed right at my eyes, blinding me for a few seconds. When I opened them, a woman’s profile became visible.  It was none other than Minkyung unloading her car. Why is she back so soon?  Yoochun’s ex acknowledged me and then went to the star. They greeted each other casually like no breakup happened between them.

 

Minkyung then began conversing with him. I couldn’t make out what they were talking about and I don’t want to eavesdrop anyway so I started pacing up the stoop. The moment I turned the knob, she called out to me, “Minah!”

 

I spun around and smiled at her, “Yes?”

“Would you like to join us for dinner?” she asked courteously.

“Oh no thank you! I don’t want to bother you guys. It seems that you have a lot to catch up on.” I refused her kind offer. I don’t want to look like a third wheel anyway. They also have a lot to settle, I don’t want to be a hindrance to their probable reunion.

“I’ll head upstairs now. Stay safe. Bye.” I stated and bowed my head at the ‘couple’.

 

I hurriedly entered the apartment house and proceeded up our unit. I no longer want to see the succeeding scenes after that one. I arrived at our front door and fetched the door keys inside my bag. I unlocked the door and hopped inside. I found my mom watching television at the living room. She was disturbed when she heard me come in.

 

“I am home Umma.” I muttered coming towards her and gave her an embrace.  

“Hello dear. Where is our dinner?” she blankly asked, her attention still at the show she is watching.

“What dinner?”

 

“I sent you a message on your phone to buy us food on your way home.” She explained, now looking at me.

“Really?” I got puzzled and checked my phone. My mother did send me the message she was talking about.

“Weren’t you attending to your phone dear?” she uttered letting her eyes drift back to the television set.

 

“No…I was with Yoochun when you messaged me.” I admitted.

“Yoochun? You guys were on a date?” she assumed, suddenly disregarding the drama series.

“Aniyo~ we just met outside coincidentally. He was supposed to walk me home but we left work early today. ” I informed her.

 

“Well, you should still buy us something to eat.” My mom ordered as she kept glancing back at the screen.

“Why don’t you come with me Umma? Please?” I requested.

Her eyes widened, “I can’t go out now dear, my favorite drama is on!” she exclaimed.

“Please?” I repeated with a matching sad and lost look on my face.

“Aish. I really can’t dear. I have been waiting for this episode since last week.” She excused herself.

 

“But Umma…” I whined.

“Ask Yoochun to tag along, not me. Not now.” My mother suggested and placed all her attention to the actors.

 

How am I going to ask the star when he is with someone else? I stopped my complaining and sprung up, “I am heading off now Umma.”

 

“Yes, yes, here is extra money.” She handed me a few Won without taking her eyes off the drama. Oh mom, you and your drama-addictiveness.

 

I hopped outside and hesitantly walked pass the star’s unit. I just don’t want to come across them, together… While I was making my last step the door flew open and I was greeted by Yoochun. We stared at each other for seconds before he broke the ice...

 

“Where are you going?” he wondered leaving the door open, allowing me to see a car leaving.

“I am gonna buy dinner.” I honestly answered, my eyes focused at the empty walls, “I thought you and Minkyung will eat out tonight?” I added.

“Minkyung’s boss called. She needs to attend an emergency meeting of some sort. I don’t know…” he informed with such a blank reaction.

 

So, she was the one who left. I have no idea what to reply. This was something the star was afraid of happening, again. She can’t seem to find time for him and he can’t do anything about it.

 

Yoochun closed the door behind him and came up to me, “What should I do Minah? She really couldn’t let go of her work. I don’t want her to give it up as well, because it has been part of her ever since. I-I am clueless.” He uttered holding both my hands and clasping it tight.

 

“I-I don’t know… I don’t know what you should do.” I confessed, surprised by his sudden request for an advice.

 

“I have been thinking over this matter for a while now. I think I should hold on to her… I know we both love each other it is just that her career gets in the way. However, for her I will endure it.” He stated, his grip getting tighter and tighter

       

I gazed intently at the star’s desperate eyes; it can only see Minkyung and Minkyung alone. Yoochun… what are you doing to yourself?

     

He seemed to have noticed me staring at him and continued the conversation, “What do you think? Should I get back with her for good?”

I inhaled deeply, “Maybe…”

    

Maybe you shouldn’t Yoochun, from what I could observe here, if this career-oriented woman does not give up her job, his relationship with her will never be healthy. If she loves him, she will give up her time-consuming work and find something else, less demanding but does not truly separate her from her interests. It is a give and take thing. Yoochun can’t be the one to suffer for the most part, like what is happening now. If they want to really work things out, they should compromise. He is a star, a singer, song writer and composer, but it appears he could find time for his loved ones. It just not fair… Minkyung is a very lucky lady to have Yoochun.

 

I wish I could be in her place instead.

 

~•~•~•~•~

 

Author's Note:

A very short chapter! XD Haha! 40 subscribers whoo!!! Thank you guys so much for your support! I wish I could hear from all of you though! I would really love to see your comments. It will mean a lot if you drop a comment in the comment box. :P

Next chapter would be a Yoochun special because I am very happy my subbies are increasing, although I have planned of doing this before. It was a coincedence, I guess. I will try my best to give you a good Yoochun Chapter to thank you for your never-ending support! I know you guys have been waiting for this story to finish. Thank you for your patience! I love you! :D *hugs all of you*