Chanhee pushed Byunghun away shortly after, head swarming and feeling a bit confused. “You’re the biggest jerk I’ve ever met, Lee Byunghun,” He said half-heartedly.

Did Byunghun think a kiss was going to fix everything? Sure, maybe it was a bit too un-masculine like for Chanhee to be hurt over what Byunghun had said. That didn’t make what he said okay. This is ridiculous. He’s still with that black-haired homewrecker (well in his case, Chanhee supposed that he himself was the homewrecker but regardless) and Byunghun was going on kissing other helpless victims who were half asleep.

“I ended it with Miyoung. I talked to her parents about it too, as well as mine. I want you, Chanhee. Not her. I’m sorry it took me this long to realize it. Please, just give me a chance?” Byunghun pleaded, his lips pressed together. His stomach was oddly jittery, his heart pounding ferociously in his chest. Looking Chanhee right in the eye, the brown-haired male awaited some sort of response. It had taken courage to go against his parents’ wishes. He hoped Chanhee recognized that. All Byunghun’s life, he was always told what to do. This was the first thing he wanted. He wanted Chanhee. But after all the he caused, how could he prove it, and convince Chanhee to give him a chance?

Meanwhile, a similar mess of thoughts flew across Chanhee’s mind. This was what Chanhee had wanted—Byunghun During the short time that they had known each other for, Chanhee had quickly developed feelings for Byunghun, the kind of feelings he just couldn’t feel with anyone else. He spent over two decades of his life as a player, and the worst kind at that. One night stands, hook-ups, break-ups over the phone, over text message. He would go to bars and hit on bartenders—both male and female—as well as the bar occupants, any that flew right into his cobweb for him to lure and seduce. Showing people what they couldn’t have, that was the motto he lived by. Chanhee had never believed in true love, relationships, all that romantic . What was the point, he always thought. Nothing lasts forever, and sooner or later, your partner or you yourself will leave the other. It’s a continuous cycle, he thought.

But how could one boy change him so completely? It was a 360 degree change from the Chanhee that he himself knew. Feeling—that wasn’t his thing. What was he supposed to do now that he was drowning in a ing quicksand of like for a stupid, reckless, explosive brown haired little ?

Even though this was what he wanted, Chanhee still found himself acting rather cold and distant. Maybe it was because he wanted Byunghun to experience what Chanhee had felt when Byunghun had exploded at him. Maybe Chanhee was too protective of his heart, and didn’t want to open up so quickly to someone who hadn’t been sure what he had wanted for a long time. “You should know how I work, Byunghun. I don’t have this thing called feelings. I don’t acquaint myself too closely with anybody. I flit around, and throw them away as soon as I’m done with them. I suppose that isn’t too much of a good thing. But what you did was worse, and I’m not thinking about me.” Chanhee crossed his arms over his chest, trying to read Byunghun’s expression. But he found he couldn’t.

Unknown to both boys, Niel had taken his place right behind the doorways to the kitchen. The space between the doorframe and the wall was enough for one person, if they squished their body together, to fit. “Come on, Byunghun. From the goddamn heart, tell him,” Niel muttered, pressing his ear to the door. He couldn’t help but be curious. He had been living in America for the past ten years. Only recently had he returned to Seoul to visit his family and friends. There was nothing like couple drama to make his visit more interesting.

Back in the kitchen, Byunghun was a bit flustered by Chanhee’s statement. He hadn’t expected Chanhee to jump in his arms and agree right on the spot, but he also hadn’t expected Chanhee to be so…distant. How do I approach a situation like this…? “The past doesn’t have any relevance to this. I’m sure of what I want now. I’m not conflicted nor confused.”

Chanhee scoffed. He wasn’t going to be this easy. Where did all this spunk come from all of a sudden? I’ve saved my edge for other pathetic fools. "I'm not sure how much of what I just said got through your head--I'm a player. This, this relationship , it isn't my thing." Chanhee stated plainly.

Byunghun shook his head, a doubtful look on his face. "No, I know that's not true. You haven't even experienced it yet, you can't rule it out indefinitely." 

"I've seen more than I could ever want to with you and your peachy girlfriend." 

"I like you, Chanhee."

"And I like peanut butter, but you don't see me asking for a relationship with a jar of extra chunky." 

Byunghun had too much control over Chanhee's emotions. Never had Chanhee let someone else rule how he felt. Any word from Byunghun's mouth hit Chanhee in ways he didn't desire. Just a few nights ago, when Byunghun had exploded at him at Woohyun's apartment, those words hurt Chanhee more than he'd like to admit. He couldn't afford anyone having that kind of control over him. His attachment to that stupid boy was getting stronger by the day, and he needed to get rid of it as soon as possible. 

However, on the other hand, Chanhee had wanted this. He wanted Byunghun. Byunghun probably already knew what kind of feelings Chanhee had for him. Chanhee wasn't used to being so vulnerable, so smitten. A part of him sort of liked it. 

His pride and ego was the biggest obstacle, though. He had spent all this time breaking down his walls, letting Byunghun in. Was that a mistake? He didn’t want to seem like he was always the one giving, and Byunghun was always the one receiving.

"Oh for God's sake. You two are impossible--how are you ever going to function as a couple?! Byunghun, you liked Chanhee ever since you two met, wait where did you two meet again? Oh yeah, Changhyun's house. You liked Chanhee ever since then. Basically he kept lying to himself, saying that he felt nothing for you because he was pressured into making things work with Miyoung. Only now did our little baby find the courage to go for what he wanted--he ripped Miyoung's heart out and smashed it onto a concrete wall. Bam." Niel exposed himself from his position behind the door, frustrated. “I’ve been in America for ten years, I haven’t even seen you two together, but I know more about both of you than you yourselves do!”

Byunghun and Chanhee stared wide eyed at the boy. 

Niel averted his gaze to Chanhee, and pointed a finger at him. "And you. Did you know what kind of things you said when you were drunk beyond your mind, after you almost died getting hit by a truck?! All that came out of your mouth was Byunghun. You confessed to me, while my arms were on the brink of falling off because of how heavy you are. Okay, so now that we all know exactly what's going on with the other, just hug, have some nice make up and go on your honeymoon already." 

Chanhee flushed, scoffing. "Oh, please. I was drunk, I could have said I had feelings for a goddamn elephant and that wouldn't mean anything." 

Byunghun burst out laughing, a happy smirk on his face. "On the contrary baby, it's when you're drunk that you reveal your deepest darkest secrets. I’m not even surprised, I knew all along~" 

Chanhee glared at the younger boy, but then remembered what he heard and smirked himself. "I always knew you liked me, you ." 

Niel held his hands up, looking from Byunghun to Chanhee, then back to Byunghun. "Is everything good now? Are you two going to make things official and FINALLY be happy for the first time in a million years?" 

Byunghun looked at Niel, looking a bit unpleased. "Fish lips, you shouldn't have meddled." 

Niel was taken aback. What did that little-- "Now that you've said it, he does have huge lips. Did you do do surgery for that, or is it natural?" Chanhee asked innocently. 

"If I hadn't meddled Byeongari, then you would still be standing here arguing until the break of dawn. The neighbors would have came here and knocked the door down with pitchforks for being so loud and annoying! And you, you--grape!" Niel sent a wild look at Chanhee's direction, Chanhee's purple hair reminding Niel of the first thing that came to mind. "You should be thanking me!" 

Byunghun was highly amused at Niel’s sudden outburst, the crazy look on Niel’s face almost laughable. He did feel a bit grateful to Niel. Niel was right—if he hadn’t exposed the elephant in the room for Chanhee and Byunghun, then him and Chanhee would still be here, feeling unsure and doubtful. Deciding to play around with the boy a bit, Byunghun tsked and shook his head, grabbing Chanhee’s arm and pulling the older boy close to him. “Fish lips, I don’t appreciate you calling my boyfriend a grape.” Chanhee snorted, wrapping his arms around Byunghun’s waist and sticking his tongue out to Niel before looking back at Byunghun. “Byung.”

“Yes, Chanhee?”

“Are sudden emotional explosions an American thing?”

****

“I think they argue more now that they’re together,” Mir muttered, his eyes drooping in sleep. Woohyun nodded, drowsing as his head jerked forward before it snapped back up. The two boys were sitting around the kitchen table at six in the morning, unable to get any sleep due to the arguing that was taking place in the other room.

“Can you not turn on the light while I’m sleeping?!”

“Well sorry you , how else am I supposed to go to the bathroom if I can’t see?!”

“Hold it in, you fickle littleprick!”

Changhyun sat on the chair next to Woohyun, completely motionless. Byunghun had really done it. Byunghun had given up Miyoung for Chanhee. And that signified another huge unfortunate thought—Changhyun was too late. Confessing wouldn’t mean anything. He was going to lose Byunghun forever, just because he wanted to be civil and didn’t want to meddle. I guess being good really doesn’t get you anything…

He wasn’t going to deny it, he was hurt. So carefully and silently had be admired his hyung. He was desperate for his attention, and felt his heart flutter whenever he got it. He and Byunghun had been friends a lot longer than Byunghun and Chanhee. They had more memories together. So why had Byunghun completely ruled him out, it wasn’t fair!

Tears pricked Changhyun’s eyes. Biting his upper lip, he took in a deep breath and willed the tears to go away. Besides, he should be happy for the both of them. Byunghun and Chanhee got exactly what they wanted. As always.

****

After a bit more arguing, which the three boys in the kitchen were all able to hear as much as they didn’t want to, Byunghun and Chanhee had emerged from their room with smiles on their faces. It was as if there was never an argument in the first place. “You are such a dork Lee Chanhee, jeez.”

“You mean your dork, you .”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I meant.”

Woohyun and Mir had perked up from their state of drowsiness, and started making side effects to the couple’s friendly bickering. “Ooooo, the couple has awoken from their slumber~~” Woohyun dreamily yelled, earning him a nice hit upside the head with a banana that Byunghun skillfully threw.

“FINALLY there shouldn’t be any more . Whenever we hung out you guys were like, ing each other with your eyes!” Mir whined childishly, mocking innocence and covering his eyes as a dramatic effect.

Changhyun gulped, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “You’re gonna get a lot more than a banana slapped on your head, Mir.” Byunghun stuck his tongue out at the boy, before walking behind where Changhyun was sitting and playfully wrapped his arms around his neck. His fingers just brushed Changhyun’s chest, making the younger boy gulp. “Changhyun, I haven’t seen you around lately. Where have you been?”

Why is he so close to me?

Please move away.

Oh God.

And there goes my heart.

“I-I’ve just been hanging around h-here and there. You know, school and…stuff.” Changhyun said, clearing his throat. Byunghun laughed, patting one of his hands on Changhyun’s chest. “You’re cute, Changhyun-ah. Don’t overwork yourself, you got that?” Pulling away, Changhyun heard Byunghun shuffle away. At the loss of contact, Changhyun pouted subconsciously, but quickly retreated his lower lip.

“Woohyun hyung, I want bacon. Cook me some bacon.” Chanhee said, closing the fridge door after checking that there was indeed some bacon to be cooked. Woohyun grunted, getting up. “The things I do for you,” He mumbled, kicking Chanhee’s on the way to the fridge. Chanhee cheered in victory, looking over his shoulder to see Byunghun with his back to them, pouring himself a cup of coffee. Grinning, he tiptoed over to his boyfriend, throwing his arms around his waist in a sudden movement. Byunghun yelped, nearling tipping over his cup in surprise.

Narrowing his eyes, Byunghun turned around in the embrace to face Chanhee.

“You shouldn’t scare me like that. I could have spilled the coffee on the counter and Woohyun hyung would have a cow and a sheep and the entire ing barn!”

Mir snorted.

Chanhee snickered, pressing his lips against Byunghun’s. As if it was instinct, Byunghun immediately kissed him back, his hands gripping the sides of Chanhee’s loose t-shirt. Chanhee smiled within the kiss. He was happier than he had ever been in his entire life. And in some ways, he was glad he used to convince himself to stay away from relationships. If he hadn’t, then his time with Byunghun would be less meaningful. Lee Byunghun, the boy that convinced him that love existed. This boy was all his, every ing part of this boy was his.

“You two get a room!”

****

The boys were at a restaurant downtown, after Mir lost a bet and had to treat the group to lunch. Changhyun had declined last minute, saying that he had a prior engagement.

Before the boys had left the house, Byunghun frowned and pulled Changhyun aside. “Hey, are you okay? It’s not like you to miss an opportunity to eat out of Mir’s wallet!” Byunghun grinned, looking at the boy in anticipation. But what he saw in Changhyun’s eyes was not what he entirely expected. Changhyun looked almost…sad. Changhyun gave a small smile, nodding slowly. “I’m just not in the mood to go out to eat. I’m going to visit my uncle in Daegu.”

Byunghun scoffed mentally. As if. Changhyun was going to visit the uncle he hated? Byunghun had heard all the stories from Changhyun about his Daegu uncle. He wouldn’t believe for a second that that was where he was going. “Changhyun-ah, you can tell me anything, you know that, right? I’m worried about you, you haven’t been yourself these past few days. Are you feeling ill?”

Changhyun exhaled. How can you be so clueless, Byunghun hyung? I’m going crazy because of you, crazy! “I’m fine, hyung. You go have fun, okay?” Plastering on the best smile he could muster, Changhyun gave Byunghun’s shoulder a pat.

Byunghun was still not convinced. But if Changhyun was willing to put up an entire charade to avoid telling him what was going on, he must not want to talk about it. “You can come join us whenever you want to, okay? Call me later. It won’t be the same without you.” Byunghun smiled warmly at his friend, giving Changhyun’s hair a light ruffle before catching up to the other boys.

(At the restaurant)

“How did she take it? The break up?” Woohyun asked curiously. Byunghun tilted his head in thought, blinking rapidly. “I don’t know, like every other girl?”

“You did a good thing, man. Everyone within a hundred mile radius could tell that you and Chanhee were hopelessly attracted to each other.” Woohyun pointed a finger of accusation at the younger. Chanhee and Mir had gone up the register to order their food, and Woohyun had taken the brief few minutes he had alone with Byunghun to clear up a few things.

“Chanhee is a lot more sensitive than you think. A lot of emotional scars, that one. You treat him right, you hear me? Do you have any other secret rendezvous partners I should be aware of?” Woohyun asked, a hint of teasing at the end. Byunghun laughed, vigorously shaking his head. “That goof is the only one for me. If I ever misbehave, I give you full consent to burn me at the stake.”

“I’m holding you to that. Now let’s get serious. How hideous is the sweater that the cook is wearing? What is that, bears with arrows? This isn’t some playground, grandpa.” Woohyun whispered, leaning forward so Byunghun could hear. The younger let out a loud snort.