R/N: Wow it's been forever since I updated!! Sorry and I hope you enjoy this chapter <3 

After Byunghun had left, Chanhee made sure that the door was still in place. Damn, that boy had slammed it shut hard!

Numbly, he shuffled over to the platform, and took a seat on the couch. Was he that bad of a person? Selfish, is that what Byunghun had said? Chanhee scoffed to himself. “Yah, you bastard! If I was selfish I would have taken you right from the beginning! Who was the one pulled me onto their chest, who let me touch them?!” He screamed at the TV, as if they would help the situation.

Running his hands through his purple hair, his emotions a jumbled mix of frustration, hurt, sadness and anger, he let out a groan, leaning his back against the couch.

“I hope you’re having fun on your pesky date, you jackass. You’re playing her, and she’s gonna find out sooner or later.”

****

Byunghun, like Chanhee, was emotionally beating himself up because of his words. Throughout the two minute elevator ride, he rubbed the back of his neck, scolding himself under his breath. Had he been too harsh?

But the other part of him scolded himself for scolding himself. Miyoung was a bigger priority than Chanhee, obviously. His parents, Miyoung’s parents…they were expecting him to be a good boyfriend and future husband to Miyoung. She certainly deserved it. Byunghun had to stop getting his true feelings mixed in with his duties.

Wait…what?

His true feelings? No, his true feelings were with Miyoung.

Or…were they with Chanhee?

****

“Byunhunnie, I’m so happy we’re doing this!” Miyoung smiled at her boyfriend, a foolish grin plastered onto her face. Byunghun smiled and nodded, trying to force a laugh that ended up sounding as a cough.

Come on, you idiot. Cheer up.

He had taken Miyoung to dinner after he had left Woohyun’s apartment. But going on a date with previous feelings of guilt, regret and sadness wasn’t exactly the best mental preparation. Miyoung seemed to be having a good time, though. She always seemed happy whenever the two hung out, and even more so this time because it was Byunghun that initiated it. Unfortunately, there was an ulterior motive to all this planning. Back at Myeongdong, he had made it his life’s goal to make Miyoung happy, and be the best boyfriend possible to a girl who truly deserved it. He has going to leave Lee Chanhee behind, and if that meant neglecting the rest of his friends, then so be it. His priority was with Miyoung. Miyoung was his girlfriend. Miyoung was his future fiancée. What a horrible way to start a future engagement—thinking of a man instead of your girlfriend. Spending more time with a man instead of your girlfriend. Doing ing PDA with a man instead of your girlfriend. No.

But as he progressed through the date, he realized that being married to Miyoung would make him miserable. Not that there was anything wrong with the girl, she was perfect. But not for him. He went four years being with this girl, and through the four years, he hadn’t felt an ounce of genuine romantic feelings for her. Could he really live every day, married to a girl he had no feelings for?

Chanhee’s name kept popping into his head. His face kept popping into his face. His voice kept playing around in his mind.

Could he really live every day filled with regret? 

At one point, Byunghun had even almost called Miyoung Chanhee. He opened his mouth to ask her how the food tasted; he wasn’t sure what Miyoung felt like eating so he had picked traditional Italian. How Chanhee’s name almost slipped out of his mouth, he didn’t know. He quickly saved it by pretending he was calling the name of a guy on the other side of the restaurant. Clearing his throat, he gave a very awkward wave to a nearby plant, hoping Miyoung wouldn’t turn around.

What was wrong with him?

He so badly wanted to go back to Chanhee, to apologize to him. How could he have been so stupid? So stupid to pick Miyoung over him?

Miyoung would never be able to make him happy. He wanted to be a good boyfriend, and he tried to put as much effort as he could and put on as much of a frontier as he could, but at the end of the day, he wasn’t living to deceive anyone. Even if he picked Miyoung, she wasn’t stupid. She would find out one day that he was just playing with her, just toying with her, for the sake of their parents.

Picking at his spaghetti, he dropped an arm to his side. His arm collided with his jacket pocket, the lump of the ring box softly digging into his rib.

The ring.

What was he going to do with it, now that he wasn’t planning on seeing Miyoung anymore?

This was it.

This date proved it.

He couldn’t be with Miyoung.

He couldn’t pretend anymore.

****

(Several Days Later)

Changhyun struggled to keep Chanhee sitting upright at the bar stool. But the older boy was too heavy for Changhyun to hold on his own. “Hyung! Please, stop drinking!” He complained to the older.

Chanhee mumbled something, words not properly leaving his mouth. Shakily grabbing the small glass, he downed a shot, slamming it back down onto the counter as he felt the liquid burning his throat. The burning sensation felt good. His head felt fuzzy, and he wasn’t sane enough to think, which was another plus.

“Stay away from him?! That bastard he—he wants me to stay away from him?! Who says that I wanted him to like me? And he has the nerve to…to call me selfish. All he cares about is his own—his own pride! His own ing perfect life he wants to have with that girl. Well congratulations, assface. Congratuinglations,” Chanhee slurred, smacking the glass off the counter and holding his head in his hands.

Changhyun flinched from the sound of the glass hitting the wood floor of the bar, and sent an apologetic look to the bartender. “Sorry, sir. Relationship troubles.”

****

When Chanhee awoke, he was first met with a pounding headache. He could almost hear the blood pumping inside of him, and groaned. His throat burned, and his body ached. Forcing himself to get up, he spotted a glass of water on a night table next to the bed he was sitting on. He gulped the contents of the cup, and set it back down. Then he began to look around slowly. He wasn’t familiar with this room…The pasty white walls, the shutter blinds. The clothes that were strewn onto the floor, the rack nearly exploding with hangers holding shirts, pants and sweaters. Where am I…?

“‘Morning sunshine. Come on, let’s go down to the kitchen I can give you some medicine,” A boy called from the door. Chanhee’s head snapped at the sound, and eyed the boy standing in the doorway. His hair was a light brown, his eyes big. His voice was annoyingly perky. “Who are you?” Chanhee asked, getting up slowly. The other boy gave a hearty laugh and walked towards Chanhee, grabbing his elbow and dragging him out of the room.

“Ahn Daniel. But everyone calls me Niel. Changhyun called me yesterday saying that there was an emergency. The emergency turned out to be you. Wow man, you devoured those drinks,” Niel gave another laugh, leading Chanhee down a corridor and then sitting him down on a chair in the kitchen. Well, at least he wasn't out to kidnap Chanhee and him.

The kitchen looked too luxurious, with stainless steel appliances, marble counters and several islands. Chanhee rested his arms on the island he was sitting around, feeling the surge of cold from the marble rush through his arms. “Niel, I’m throwing away all your crazy fan letters. Why do you have to put them in the bathroom?!” He heard a familiar voice yell, as he heard the sound of slippers dragging across the floor.

And just his luck, in came Lee Byunghun. He carried a handful of colorful paper. From where he was sitting, Chanhee could make out some black scribbles that were no doubt writing.

Byunghun froze when he saw Chanhee sitting there. “Chanhee, hi. Sleep well?”

Chanhee gave one look at Byunghun and turned away, focusing on the strange pattern of white and black the marble island created. There was a moment of silence. “Whoa, did someone die or something? What’s with the atmosphere all of a sudden?” Niel asked, amusement in his voice.

Byunghun couldn’t keep his eyes off of Chanhee. He wanted him to look at him. Instantly, he felt the familiar surge of regret for what he had said days before. Maybe that was why Chanhee drank so much and nearly got run over, walking down the street, or at least that's what Niel had told him. Seeing Chanhee’s disheveled hair, his wrinkled clothes, his face so deprived of life and energy… “Niel, can you give us a minute?” The younger asked Niel.

Niel nodded, a grin on his face. “Sure thing. I’m going to go save my fan letters from being trashed by a jealous chicken.” Walking past Byunghun, Niel grabbed the letters from his hand and then leaving the kitchen. Byunghun waited until he heard the creaking of the stairs before approaching Chanhee.

“I’m leaving,” Chanhee abruptly stated, turning around on his stool and preparing to get up. Byunghun placed his hands on Chanhee’s shoulders, sitting him back down. “I’m too tired for this. My head hurts and for ’s sake, I need some medicine before—” The older felt soft lips on his. Widening his eyes, Chanhee tensed, unsure of what was going on. Is Byunghun kissing me? What is even… But contrary to what his original plan was at that moment, which consisted of pushing Byunghun away and kicking his to China, Chanhee felt his body untense, his eyes slowly closed as his lips moved with the younger’s.

Byunghun’s hand was resting on the nape of Chanhee’s neck, the other gripping the marble counter behind Chanhee. Not to the older’s liking, Byunghun pulled away too soon, breathless. Chanhee gripped the collar of the younger’s shirt, pulling him back towards him. His lips were placed on Byunghun’s, as he coarsely whispered, “Kiss me, dammit.”