Title:  5/5

It suits the fanfiction well.

Foreword/Description: 4/10

When I first looked at your forward I cringed. There, in the first stanza was my biggest fanfic peeve, colored text. And not the tolerable colored texted, the unnecessary colored text. There is no need for color in your forward so please, change it.

I didn’t get the stanzas with colored text;

I dated you for a bet.

You never loved me?

Hi Luhannie. Remember me? I’m back.

Who is the one talking and it doesn’t make sense that he/she would care if the other didn’t love him/her because he/she dated the other for a bet. Unless they are not the same person, that is really confusing. If they are two different people, please put the stanzas in separate quotations to look like;

“I dated you for a bet.”

“You never loved me?”

The line;

Hi Luhannie. Remember me? I’m back.

Confuses me. Who is the one speaking? The first or the second line person. Please verify who is who, not with colored text, but with quotations.

After the colored text everything is fine except for the last two stanzas. It shouldn’t be;

“For a revenge.” But just, “For revenge.”

And change the last stanza to “Until she got tangled into a love triangle.” To make it flow better.

Honestly, after reading the forward/description, I was not compelled to read the rest of the fic. You need to make the forward more interesting to catch readers’ attention. That is what the forward/description is for anyways. I suggest adding more detail.

In the description there is white text highlighted in blue. Dear God, please change that.

Appearance: 4 /5

It’s easy on the eyes except for the colored text in the forward.

Plot: 7/20

The plot of your fanfiction is not evolved yet and it’s really common. I can already tell where this fanfiction is headed and it’s not even finished yet. I don’t think you should’ve requested a review when your fic’s plot hasn’t even ed yet.

Mechanics: 12/20

I found few spelling errors, and that can be fixed by double checking your work before you update. I’m not going to lie, the flow of your fic is terrible. The transitions are way too fast. I find myself reading over and over again to understand what’s going on.

Characterization: 15/20

Characters follow their roles, but are not fully developed.

Flow/Style: 3 /15

Terrible flow, refer to Mechanics. Your style of writing; not my type. You should not express actions between asters (*). And what was that random chat room thing in chapter one?

Overall Enjoyment: 1/5

Total: 51/100