(Something About Him)

Title: 5/5

I liked the title. It fit the one-shot perfectly and it makes me wonder and ask myself; what is it about? What is this ‘something’?

Foreword/Description: 10/10

It’s short and sweet. It gives the readers a hint of what it’s about, yet it doesn’t give away too much information to spoil the plot. Since this is just a one-shot, I don’t have problems with your A/N placed in the foreword.

Appearance: 5/5

The appearance is neat and organized; everything is where it is supposed to be. There is no poster, but the Sehun/Luhan picture, I believe, is enough.

Plot: 17/20

Since this is a one-shot, there’s not really much depth into the plot especially since it is just focusing on Sehun’s attitude whenever Luhan is around or not. But it is what it is. The story is supposedly about how Sehun feels when he’s with Luhan and when he is not, and I saw you depicted that clearly.

Mechanics: 18/20

There was no problem with your spelling, but you did have a few grammatical errors. Very few though. I’ll point them out for you.

Error:

Even when Jongin gets tired of his best friend’s frown and tries anything, like being cute, or dancing to girly songs, to make the boy smile, even if it was only a small one. But whenever Jongin tries, Sehun’s scowl just gets bigger.

The flow was quite awkward because there was too much stress in the words from the commas. Try to construct your sentence differently, like this:

Correct:

Even when Jongin gets tired of his best friend’s frown and tries anything like being cute or dancing to girly songs just to make the boy smile—even if it was only a small one—Sehun’s scowl just gets bigger.

Here’s another one:

Error:

Kyungsoo thinks it’s because Sehun’s in love with Luhan, and that may actually be the reason, no matter how many times Sehun tries to deny it.

Correct:

Kyungsoo thinks it’s because Sehun’s in love with Luhan, and that may actually be the reason, no matter how many times Sehun tries to deny it.

OR

Kyungsoo thinks it’s because Sehun’s in love with Luhan, and that may actually be the reason, no matter how many times Sehun tries to deny it.

It’s only either one of these that you can italicize for stress.

Characterization: 20/ 20

I believe there are no problems with the characterization. The characters are depicted quite generally, as in this story you did not really describe their personalities deeper. That’s fine though, since like I said, this is a one-shot.

Flow/Style: 13/15

The mistakes you made kind of ruined the flow for me, but not in a way where I did not enjoy reading it anymore. On a different note, I do like your writing style and it fit perfectly with the mood of the story, especially those parts where you list off the traits of Luhan that Sehun can’t help but fall for.

Overall Enjoyment: 4/5

I enjoyed reading it! It gave me the right dose of fluff I needed. I personally liked the simple concept of the one-shot, despite the dislike I have for . Great job!

Total: 92/100