No major problems with the title because it had everything to do with the story. 

Foreword/Description: 9/10

Nice prologue! I think this is one good way of kicking off a story. I'm happy that you chose a scene that was at it's height of as a prologue because it definitely made me wonder what is in store for me as a reader. The best part was that it didn't make me confused; it made me curious and that's a good thing.

Appearance: 5/5

No problems with the appearance. I like the chapter dividers. 

Plot: 11/20

The plot is pretty clear; a demon fox going through hell and back waiting for her lover. It was simple and easy to understand. But while I am aware that the main conflict is the waiting process, I wish there was another arising conflict alongside the 'waiting' process because I found myself getting bored reading through the whole thing. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to see how Eunji's life goes on while she waits for Donghae, but something like a big conflict would have been nice too because at some parts I just found myself skimming through the scenes. 

Mechanics: 15/20

Since there were quite a number of errors (both minor and major) I'll just list them out.

- In some parts, you forgot to put punctuation. Don't forget your punctuation!

- Spelling errors/word usage errors

Examples:

• wondered should be wandered
• shinning should be shining
• dips should be dibs

These words that you used have completely different meanings from how you used them.

- Major errors with tenses. There were a lot but I couldn't point them all out so I'll use one or two as examples.

Examples:

• Her word drifted off as she panted out the last syllable out and her eyes rolled back.

The word 'word' should be 'words' and this sentence was constructed awkwardly. It felt like 'and her eyes rolled back' was added at the last minute. Also, it interrupts the flow because of it's awkward placing.

Correct: Her words drifted off, eyes rolling back as she panted out the last syllable.

• "I was missed my Dongji"

Did you mean 'I missed my Dongji'? You don't need 'was' since you already have the suffix '-ed' attached to 'miss', indicating that it is already in past tense form. 

Characterization: 14/ 20

I thought you managed to portray the characters as to how you wanted them to be protrayed so that's good. I especially liked how Kyuhyun served as a guardian/father to Eunji, but we also see that there is something much more going on here that isn't exactly pointed out directly. I personally loved how you just left it at that, leaving us curious as to how Kyuhyun really is but not exactly bothered by this lack of knowledge behind his character. 

I did have a problem with Luhan, though. I know that he's meant to be childish but after all those years, it's impossible for him not change seeing the things he's been seeing for the past thousands of years he's lived. He's been having with Sehun! You could show his immaturity minimally but not too much because in the middle of the story I was really confused if he was still and 8 year old or a grown-up until you mentioned he was already 18.

Flow/Style: 12/15

Your errors interrupted the flow so I suggest you go back and edit your chapters. Your writing style is easy to read and simple, no fancy words and metaphors which is definitely okay. You didn't need it.

Overall Enjoyment: 2/5

The plot was interesting and had a lot of potential but it didn't really had the chance to develop fully. I liked your characterization, though! 

Total: 73/100