. . .

The word has been chanting inside his head ever since he had sat up from his slumber, his eyes wide as the shining sun. His body was shaking and he couldn’t feel his legs as he stared into nothingness. His right hand was lying dead on his lap, soiled by his own seed. He bit his lip.

Damn, shame. It’s worse than anger, more frustrating than bitterness. It was killing him inside and all he could do was to let out a shaky sigh.

He couldn’t even explain himself, he was caught red-handed by the object of his lust. His subconscious had been ruling him out ever since he landed on this island.

For how long he remained seated on the grainy sand, he did not know. But when he started to crawl closer the seashore, the heat was permeating on his skin. His sweat formed huge droplets on the sand as he bowed low, hoping the water would reach him soon.

When the cold sea touched his skin, the strength inside him returned and all he could do was to run to the waters. The breath he released was that of relief, and immediately, his soiled hands were dipped into the sea.

A smile was formed onto his lips as he bathed at the saltiness of the ocean, his own stains riding along with the waves. It didn’t matter if he was running to the deeper part of the open waters. It didn’t matter because damn, he felt so dirty it was so shameful.

Stop ing when I’m here!!! Sungmin’s voice echoed in his head and this dream, as vivid as the sun, flashed through his head. He cursed out loud as he continued to plunge into the waters, finding escape in the coldness of the sea.

What was happening to him? Why was he lusting over someone he met for a couple of days?

Why was he showing utter interest in another person just when he’s with someone?

Why?

“Damn this.” He murmured as he dipped his body deeper into the water, his head the only thing exposed.

It was obvious that Sungmin was attractive. His face was pretty, almost like that of a girl and his body was sculpted to perfection. His voice was serene and his smile, damn that smile for being too beautiful. He had never met a person who smiles with his eyes since he was a kid. The masks of money and fame changed people he knew. Even Ryeowook does not have that same smile.

Sungmin was different. He acts like a kid, all innocent and bubbly. At first he sees it as pure irritation, the way the man acts, and then he realized that it was damn amusing and he liked it.

He likes it?

He shook his head. Was Sungmin a sorcerer of some kind?

Then... he stopped. As if waking up from a nightmare, he tried to look around.

The usual grainy feeling beneath his feet was gone. His feet were touching nothing and only the cool waters could be felt. It was supposed to be a nice sensation but... he panicked. He did not want to be left helpless in the waters.

No way.

He was not a good swimmer. He was sure to drown when the ship wrecked days ago. If Sungmin didn’t pull him up then, he was dead. It was mere luck, a little bit of grace and mercy from the skies above but maybe he was meant to drown.

There was a stinging pain on his legs. He cursed in his head as his whole body submerged into the waters. He moved stiffly but the cramps stopped him from doing so and all he could do was raise his head up. He tried to reach for the surface but to no avail.

The deep was his ultimate weakness. Water higher than him was his fear. He’s not a swimmer.

Damn, this is what he got from thinking... from lusting over his companion. Karma. ing karma.

He was to stop struggling, his legs gave in, and then, a firm hold wrapped around his arm and he was pulled up.

The water left his face, a relief he was very much thankful for. His mouth automatically gulped for air and he was flailing his hands, his legs still useless as the sand beneath him finally touched his feet. The man in front of him was panting hard, and finally, he was thrown to the shore, his back hitting the sand hard as he coughed out.

Water spilled from his mouth as he choked. He rolled on his stomach and pushed himself up, puking all the water from his belly.

He collapsed as soon as he calmed down, curses running in his head for being too weak when it comes to the water.

“Do I have to save you every time?” a familiar voice rang in his ears, and he turned to see Sungmin panting equally hard as he sat on the shore. His vision was still hazy as he breathed, catching all the air that he could muster.

“I... I’m sorry,” he muttered when his heartbeat calmed down and his breathing went a little more stable. “I... I spaced out.”

“To e?” the blond retorted and all he could do was to sweep his gaze far from him.

“I...” What? What was he to say? It was quite obvious, Sungmin caught him, and damn he must’ve muttered his damn name.

Much to his surprise, Sungmin inched closer to him. “I’m sorry.” The smaller man almost squealed, his face red in embarrassment as he eyed his own feet. He looked at the man who looked like a child. He studied him and then, he smiled.

“No...” He spoke. “I’m sorry.”

%%%%

“What was he dreaming about anyway?” He asked himself as he took a bite at the banana in his hand. His stomach was grumbling hard now, and his small tantrum was not helping.

Kyuhyun was too kind the previous night. He was so accommodating, almost sweet as they conversed. He liked that side of the man, and then, he goes erted when he found him in the morning.

“Was it because of the kiss?”

He blushed. He didn’t know what was up with his but he gave in to the action. Was it lust? Was it the need for company? He never really knew who inched closer, he didn’t know who started it, and it was too damn late to blame each other because honestly... He liked it.

“Did Kyuhyun like it too?”

His fingers traveled to his own lips as he traced its perfect shape. He massaged it lightly as he reminisced of the event from last night. Kyuhyun was a good kisser and a small shy smile unconsciously formed on his lips.

Come to think of it, the man was good-looking... if it weren’t for the usual frown in his face, or the pride in his eyes, he is definitely attractive.

He found himself smiling at the thought. Should he feel flattered about it? That Kyuhyun was showing interest in him as well? Or should he feel violated and used?

Scrunching his brows, he thought about it as he swallowed the last bite he took.

“Why am I thinking about it?” He asked himself once again. “I should be mad and only mad.”  

He couldn’t like Kyuhyun. He shouldn’t.

Standing up, he decided that a mere dream shouldn’t make him feel intimidated. It was Kyuhyun who made a mistake; it was Kyuhyun who was acting like a erted old man. It was Kyuhyun, not him.

And with a pinch of determination, he walked back to the shore, prepared to face the man who...

“He’s drowning again!?” He squealed as he ran to the waters to grab the man and pull him with sheer difficulty back to the shore. In all honesty, Kyuhyun should stop flailing in the waters, or they’ll both drown.

With much struggle, thankfully, he was able to toss the younger man to the beach. He knew the other was not a good swimmer, but what was he doing killing himself?

He was mad, too mad at Kyuhyun who’s acting like a dumb bastard. What was he doing drowning like that? Why was he suddenly acting like he was the victim in this?

He shouldn’t be adjusting to a spoiled brat like Kyuhyun.

“I... I’m sorry.” Kyuhyun murmured and he raged. “I... I spaced out.”

“To e?” he snarled and when the guilt flashed in the other’s eyes, he had wanted to swallow back the words he had said mere seconds ago.

“I’m sorry.” He spoke, knowing too well he had crossed the line. Well, Kyuhyun is a man. He is a man, and he knew the need for release from time to time. He himself was not a saint and he shouldn’t be acting like a hypocrite. Besides, didn’t he admit to himself that he found Kyuhyun attractive as well?

“No... I’m sorry,” Kyuhyun suddenly spoke and it was his turn to feel ashamed. Damn, guilt was always too fast to hit him and he found himself nearing the man.

He hugged his knees and buried his head on them. He didn’t want to see Kyuhyun’s face. He didn’t want to see the proud smirk on the younger’s face and so he remained rolled up like a kid.

“Sungmin... I’m sorry...” Kyuhyun murmured. “I didn’t mean to... you know...”

He didn’t answer, he didn’t move. Then he felt the other sitting beside him. He was tempted to scoot farther.

“I didn’t know why... I...” A sigh was heard. “Trust me because I really don’t know and if you’re scared that I’m some maniac who would jump on you on your sleep then rest assured that I won’t. It was.... it was a damn wet dream, and...”

“The dream...” He found himself murmuring a little louder, “What was it about?”

Silence.

Not . Not . He chanted in his brain. So much for a .

“I can’t remember.” Kyuhyun answered fast. “I... I don’t know.”

They remained silent. The waves of the ocean touched the sand and created a soft harmony in their ears. He felt his knees go numb and the need to straighten up came fast. But he didn’t. He held on to his pride instead of his physique.

“Sungmin...” Kyuhyun’s voice made him jump; his eyes snapped open ash he stared at the younger man, mouth agape. “I’m really sorry.”

It must’ve been guilt... or pity because all he could do was to nod at the younger and smile softly at him.

“You can’t control your dreams.” He found himself saying. “It’s not entirely your fault.”

Kyuhyun shook his head. “No, it’s still my fault.”

He blushed, understanding what the other wanted to say but he bit out the sigh that was to escape his lips. No, he can’t let himself give in. If his attraction towards Kyuhyun could be held up, then he would stop himself. He couldn’t allow such physical appeal get the better of him. Kyuhyun is still a stranger to him, a erted stranger, in fact.

He heaved a determined sigh before sitting straight and finally standing up. Kyuhyun remained glued to his position as he tried to smile at the younger,

“Okay...” He started, forcing himself to sound determined. “Let’s just forget about it, let’s pretend it did not happen and continue from where we are.” He spoke. “We’re not gonna get anywhere if we just act awkward against each other.”

Kyuhyun scrunched his brows, beads of sweat trickled down his skin and he had to force himself not to his drying lips at the sight. Damn, the guy is handsome.

“So... what do you suggest we do?” Kyuhyun stood up, towering him with his height. His eyes squinting from the brightness of the horizon. They were mere inches apart and he had to step a little backward.

“We...” He did not know. He did not plan on doing anything but to survive, then, he smiled. “We build a raft.”

Yup, good answer.

“A what?”

“A raft...” He smiled once more. “We can’t stay here forever. We need to sail, mister... and soon!”

To be continued...