His eyes were glued into nothingness, like everything that is happening was not really happening at all. The farther he gets away from the island, the more he wished that the reality was in that place and not here, not anywhere here.

He turned to the man seated beside him, holding his hands firmly. He wanted to shake it off; he wanted to be free from the hold. It was suffocating him and he didn't even know why. Was he mad? He couldn’t be mad, right?

 "Hyung, are you staying at your apartment?" It was Sungjin who spoke, somehow breaking a piece of the rope. He turned to his brother and smiled at him softly. The reason why he didn't push his best friend earlier, the reason why he didn't shout at him was because of his family. They were there, they were worried about him and they missed them so much.

 He had believed he would never see them again. He had ridded himself of the possibility ever since he woke up in that island. He thought he was gonna rot in there.

 "I'll stay at the flat." He answered. "I want to rest and I missed my room so much."

 His brother nodded and his mother took his hand. Finally, his other hand was released. He didn't turn to the man on his left. He ignored him.

 "It's okay, dear. You go rest." His mother smiled at him. How much he missed her. Her warmth, her care, her mere presence was enough to lighten him up, to tell him everything's going to be okay. “You can drop by the house when you’ve rested. Tell me so I can prepare a good meal for you.”

He nodded.

 When they reached their apartment, he bee-lined to his room and collapsed on his bed. It was nice, it was comforting and assuring. Finally he was back, finally he's okay, and he’s fine. Even without Kyuhyun, at least he knew he was safe, he knew he would not be alone in there anymore. Hopefully.

It wasn't long before he blinked out the darkness around him. It seemed he had slept the whole day out. He turned to his right and found the familiar bedside table and closet before him. He smiled as he snuggled on his bed, feeling finally home. He cuddled on his pillows for some more time before finally standing up and heading for a shower.

The fresh water felt like heaven on his sun burnt skin. He couldn't help but smile as everything seemed to be washed away by the waters and to the drain. It took him almost an hour beneath the shower. He really didn't want to leave the waters, the coldness and freshness contradict every sticky and salty feeling he had been accustomed to for weeks.

His stomach was grumbling when he stepped out of his room, fully clothed and clean in his white wife-beater and loose sweats. He scanned the place he had missed so much before heading to the kitchen. He was finally home.

“You’re awake.” Jongwoon greeted him with his smile. He was quick to avert his gaze as he went straight to the fridge, he had almost forgotten about the man and what he did.

 “I made dinner,” the older spoke again. “It’s your favorite pumpkin and shrimp soup, and your mom bought a cake. Tomorrow, they’ll drop by for lunch; they want to celebrate now that you’re back.”

 He listened to his awkward voice, he listened as he explained the plans for the next days and how his family was so worried and scared and how they were so happy when the coast guard called them that day and things like that. He knew he had made his family worried, he knew he had hurt Jongwoon but he still quite figure why the older started kissing him at the dock and now his parents and brother believe they were dating long before.

 “Min,” Jongwoon called him when he had refused to talk. He pouted a little before finally meeting the other’s stare.

 “Min, I know why you’re mad,” He continued. “I… I’m sorry for acting too harsh. I was… I was just so excited to see you and…”

“I know,” He finally answered. He didn’t want to hear any explanation. He knows; he knew. “I know you missed me. I missed you too, hyung. I missed everyone and everyday I’ve always thought that there’s a chance that I would never see you again.”

He moved forward, accepting the food the older offered. He missed a decent meal that would make your stomach ache from eating too much. He missed eating on a plate, seated comfortably, with meat and proper food in front of you. He swore he’s not gonna eat bananas and roasted potatoes for a while.

“That’s what I’ve thought too.” Jongwoon answered sadly. “And I… I did it because I don’t want to lose you anymore.”

He knew where this was going. He was not stupid not to notice all the care and support Jongwoon had always given him. He was not oblivious to the simple smiles and touches the older would give even before. It’s just that, he’s not yet ready. And most importantly, he doesn’t feel the same way.

“I like you, Min. I like you and maybe even more.”

He smiled sadly. He was not prepared to hear these kinds of confession. A lot had happened, things changed and having Jongwoon say that thing to him was one of those that he wanted to avoid.

“Hyung,”

“I’m not going to ask you to answer me right now.” Jongwoon said shyly. “After what had happened, I regretted everything and I regret not telling it to you earlier.”

They ate in silence. He took every spoonful carefully as he eyed the older. With everything that transpired, he knew it won’t be the same again. Everything just seemed so fast, Wasn’t Sungmin entitled his own peace? He had been trapped in one of the scariest nightmares he had ever had. He almost died, he almost lost everything in a single snap. His dreams were ruined, tarnished by a misfortune.

He was feeling mad and confounded. He wanted space, he wanted... his life back.

 “I’m sorry, hyung.” He spoke suddenly as they finished their meal. “I’m so sorry because I don’t think it’ll be like that for the two of us.”

 “Min, I’m willing to wait. I’ll wait and…”

“No, please. Don’t burden yourself with someone like me.” He shook his head “You don’t deserve me.”

"Sungmin." 

He shook his head slowly before standing up. He didn't want to deal with these things. He wanted to rest, to try to forget about what happened to him. He wanted to free himself of the solitude he had been into while in the island. He wanted to get rid of the fear that continues to linger inside him. He wanted to move on.

He locked himself in his room, crying and hopping that when he wakes up, everything would be back to normal.

He changed his mind the next day; he went back to his family and decided that he would stay there for a while. He needed company; he needed people around him and not just Jongwoon.

Unfortunately, his decision was not the solution to the peace he longed for.

It has been a week since he had been rescued and his parents and brother kept him company. Jongwoon had sent him a couple of messages of apologies and take cares. But it seemed, things had change, and he noticed, there was one thing he was missing, one he was longing.

 Or rather, one person.

The sun woke him up from his slumber like the usual. It was a peaceful sleep and he was thankful somehow. He woke up to softness of the pillows and mattress that cuddled him. He smiled; it was nice.

Turning to his side, he was met by a familiar mop of brown hair that shifted as he moved.

"Good morning, princess" Kyuhyun smiled at him, his eyes warm and kind radiating the morning sun. His smile was beautiful as he reached out for his face. His rough hands caressed his face. He inched closer, allowing the distance between them to dissipate. Soon enough, their bodies were pressed together and Kyuhyun's lips were meeting his own. 

He misses Kyuhyun; his chest aches for the man. He had fallen deep in that short span of time and now, despite knowing that they can never be together, he wanted Kyuhyun to remain beside him. He didn’t realise it back then but the nights without Kyuhyun, without the other’s voice waking him up in the morning made him long for him more.

He needed him.

"Sungmin!" 

Sungjin was grasping his shoulders as he panted. He looked around and found himself in his own room.

"You were and it seemed you couldn't breathe. Nightmare?" His brother asked carefully. It was becoming daily, and his parents and brother were concerned. They wanted him to visit a therapist.

But it wasn’t a nightmare. It was a beautiful dream he didn’t want to let go. He wanted it.

"You can come down and have breakfast if you're okay," Sungjin smiled at him and patted his head lightly. "It'll be okay, hyung."

He nodded once again before releasing a sigh.

What can he do? He misses Kyuhyun. He misses the younger and all this time, the security he was longing for was to be beside Kyuhyun. He wanted to be with the man, to banter with him, to hug him, to kiss him.

Hugging his knees, he rested his head on them and smiled softly, “Are you even missing me?”

*

“And well, they wanted you to be there. I’m sorry.”

“Kyuhyun...”

“Kyu?”

“Kyuhyun!”

He snapped. He looked around and found himself on the luxurious flat wrapped in silk covers and  comforters. He eyed the smaller man sitting on the side of his bed clad in suit and remembered where he was. Definitely not on the burning island.

“I’m sorry, what?”

Ryeowook sighed and stood up. He straightened his tie and smiled softly at him. “I’m going now. I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything about the board meeting. They want us both to be there next Friday.”

He didn’t respond.

“Rest well.”

Ryeowook leaned closer and pecked him on his lips. He didn’t move. He waited until the other was gone before he released a sigh.

He hadn’t left his bed ever since he arrived and he had no plans to. He didn’t want to hear about work, he didn’t want to hear about anything and he just wanted to enjoy the peace and quiet he was experiencing.

“Damn, . I’m turning to a hermit.” He said to himself as he downed the cup on his bedside table before standing up. It had almost been a week, and he couldn’t figure how frustrated he still was.

He couldn’t get over everything that happened, and he was still not prepared to move on. His life was changed and nothing’s going to how it was.

The routines would change, his attitude changed, and most definitely, his outlook is different now.

The island changed him. Sungmin changed him.

He stopped. Sungmin.

How was he? Where was he? He wasn’t even able to thank the seven-year old guy for keeping his sanity. He wasn’t even able to say goodbye to him. He wasn’t able to do anything because everything happened in a ing flash.

Sungmin was pulled by his family as soon as his “boy friend” kissed him. Sungmin was inside a car even before he could call out his name and shout a simple thank you to him. No, there was nothing. And he regretted everything.

“Am I missing him?” He shook his head as he headed for a shower. The water made him think as it would usually do.

He likes the man. He likes him and he is attracted to him. It couldn’t be more than that. But he was longing for him, and every night, he would be left thinking about the smaller guy. He would reminisce of his smiles, his giggles, his irritated look, his body, his lips... , his lips. Those perfect M-shaped lips that feels so soft against his chapped ones. He missed it so ing much.

“The outdoors would be nice.” He thought and made sure he was walking amongst the rushing city as the sun rose higher.  

He let himself get lost in the crowd and continued walking, ignoring all the commotion that's surrounding him. It’s nice to get drowned in the hustle and bustle of the city. Drown, probably not that word.

The calmness of the seas was beautiful, but being stuck in the middle of nowhere still was not a good idea for now, maybe not if he doesn’t have Sungmin. Have Sungmin?

He sighed as he leaned on a pole, the blaring lights of the intersection kept him afloat. He squinted and crossed the street, running to a bus stop he did not know that existed until that day. He was never fond of commuting, no, he had always used his cars.

The huge bus just left, even if he had no plans of riding one, he sat on the waiting bench and sighed.

Moments later, he closed his eyes willing to erase any thought that had left him clueless, clueless of his own emotions, of his own mind. But he knew, he knew he needed to get his mind away from Sungmin. 

The guy already has a "boyfriend" and he has one too. The circumstances of even meeting each other in the city, that was Seoul, was too close to impossible. The thought crushed his heart. How would it be possible to forget him when thoughts of Sungmin fill him wherever he goes?

 
"How can I forget you?" He whispered, not really knowing what to do. Moving on would be impossible if he keeps on thinking about the other.

“Kyu...hyun?”

 
He shot up as he heard a familiar voice. The bus had arrived and people got inside the vehicle. He looked up hesitantly, fearing that his mind was only playing tricks on him but then gasped as he finally confirmed who it was.

"S-Sungmin?" 

To be continued...