I was sitting there blankly starring at my computer screen.. it' has been like this for a while now.. get up go to work..come home..eat ..take shower ..sleep if I can..this is my day.. they have been like this since I confessed to him..yes I confessed and beacuse of that .. this is when I found them.. and HIM....when I most desperately needed them...

OK Mika..today is the day..you have to do this no big deal you have been practicing all night long.. I try to tell my self as I sit there starring at the phone.. OK Mika no problem he said he loves you so you will be fine,.. me and Romeo went  to elementary school together but I had to move and we lost touch then in High school we met up again and we have been talking a lot and became best friends again..besides Mary he is the only other close friend I have..He is the man I love..he is my home he protects me and I feel so comfortable with him..

The Phone is ringing...ohh my god here we go.."hello", a groggy voice answers the phone..:umm...hhello..Romeo, It's me Mika did I wake you up?' wake u up it's 8pm!!! "umm..yeah..but I'm getting up now".."ohh..well it sounds like you haven't eaten let's go get something to eat", Jesus I said it so confident I can even fool my self ..my stomach full of butterflies how can I eat.."ohh that's fine honey let's met up at olive Garden is that OK'. UHHHumm" I always agree to what ever he wants no matter what...

I got to Olive Garden first, the place was packed as always I decided to sit by the bar, for sure he will notice me if I sit here since it's directly in front of the door.. trying to sit on the stool trying to look the iest I can't..ha..tha's a joke in it's self..I'm actually not at all I'm about 5 foot tall and I have really long black hair average body..I look really young so sometimes people think I need protecting because I look so frail and innocent...hahaha if they only knew..the only one that does not fall for it is my mom that old lady knows me to well she knows I take advantage of that...I was wearing a form fitting navy blue dress ,black coat and black high heels the highest I have I wanted to be as tall as him he is about 6 foot tall...I kept repeating your y..you're y in my head I was trying to believe it..

He came in through the door I almost fell out of my chair..standing there a 6 foot figure man with his jeans and a Tapout shirt black slicked hair ..oh my gawd.. "hey, Mika".."ohh hhhey", "hahaha what's wrong with you you're acting kind of weird", "oh nothing, let's go our table shoud be ready".."oh no MIka I'm sorry I  can't have dinner with you I have someoen I need to meet can we just drink something here and talk..by the way the dress looks pretty on you".. "ohh.. thank you" I don't think I could hide the dissapointment in my face...

The bar man came over and he ordered water for us since we were both driving.. ohh great this is just getting better .. "well, Mika what's up?" ..but I haven't had a drink yet for confidence what am I going to do.."Mika honey remember I don't have that much time ..I.. there is someone waiting for me!"..ohh really there is someone waiting for him..I never knew about this.. my heart started pounding what am I suppouse to do now..how do i tell him? Mika just do it ..this is your chance go for it..go for it Mika.. ok here it goes "o.k. well you know we have know each other for years now and.." he is looking at me so intently I'm so scared .."and what Mika" .."well Romeo I wanted to tell you..that I.I.I. I love you and have for a long time...I want us to be together and start a relationship", as I looked up to this expression everything changed the air was so cold and I could not breath looking at his face he was hard a a stone..."Mika I'm sorry..i didn't kow you felt this way..I ..I  love you but I love you like a baby sister I just want to protect you..I don't want to ruin this relationship with you you are my most precious friend ..Mika I'm dating someone!".., that's when the tears started welding up and pouring like a river... all I kept hearing was I LOVE YOU LIK A BABY SISTER" when did I ever...oh..I forgot that's what I must look to everyine not a woman just a baby sister they want to protect and love and what dating someone..how can this be possible..you want to be friend?? what are you kidding me.. what do you mean you don't want to break the relationship..so many things were swinning in my head but I couldn't make heads or tails about them.."Mika..Sweetie please don't cry..I..i feel horrible please let's not do this..please.." with that I got up.."MIka don't go we have to finish talking" he reached for my hand..how dare he try to touch me..."don't touch me" I yelled people looked i dont care anymore.."Mika please I know youre upset but"...I snatched my hand and walked away..that's the last time I saw him...