song for this chapter...

despite the bad news that's keep going on, then some of my fav author stop their works because of that matter this month probably the worst month ever, my heart and my mind is in a mess, craving for the truth, i won't judge my baby for the record i won't stop writing about him hence i update one today~ hope for the best...always keep the faith<3

enjoy reading^^

~~~

flashback

present

“Minnie was sleeping…again”

“I can’t believe she’s asleep!”

I heard Junsu’s disbelief whisper.

“Ssshh Su-ah you’re going to wake them! Aren’t they the cutest ever?”

We’re on the van as I remember, tired after a long rehearsal for the day…I was dead tired yet they won’t stop… talking…aren’t they tired yet?

“This is abomination, I can’t even see the difference if this is the gushiest public display of affection or the grossiest thing I ever seen! I can’t even stands the smell here without opening the window because none of us is taking a shower after the rehearsal yet she sleeps on Yoochunnie!”

My eyes still closed and trying so hard not to slip a chuckle when Junsu starts rambling nonsense. Sometimes his preference of words really amuse me, I wonder if his teacher taught him that. I have to take a note of the name of his school so I won’t enroll my kids there. I sighed, feeling Minnie snuggling on me, I held her even more closer as her face makes a nest on the crook of my neck…sighing softly when she finally comfy enough…

friends don’t do this why she couldn’t see that?

“This must be what’s people called the power of love”

is it?

“Or noona just having a clogged nose”

well yeah Changmin-ah nice try…

“I really don’t understand them, they’re acting like ready to kill each other the whole week yet when it comes to sleep there is no way they will sleep without hogging each other presence”

Were we?

“Chun-ah~”

I know that voice, if one word ever slip out from my baby’s lips when she’s sleeptalking it was my name, one and and only. And it was always the last thing I heard before I drifted away in my slumber, burying my face in her hair…

if only…

“Chun-ah?”

I frowned, that’s a different voice… a hand on my shoulder,

“Yoochun-ah something’s wrong?”

I blinked and my eyes back to the scenery outside the van’s window, right it was just a dream of my memory…turning around I face Gahee noona and smiled weakly back at her.

“Aniyo, I’m just… just a little bit tired, I think”

I did, I didn’t sleep at all last night, spend all nighter smoking on the rooftop which was I’m glad she didn’t go up there playing detective on me… way to celebrate my first christmas here at least mom and Yoohwannie are okay there…

“You can sleep first we have 5 hours before we arrived there”

“Yeah maybe I will take a little nap”

I move back and rest my head on the seat, closing my eyes and trying to sleep, I need this if I will see her with his boyfriend later…

“I’m glad you’re here with me Yoochun-ah”

I felt Gahee noona’s head hit my shoulder softly but it’s not what I hope I will hear before I drifted off, I miss her voice, I miss her presence on my arms and I wonder if she can sleep on the road without missing me…

God, I wish that she will…

***

Yesterday was probably my worst christmas day ever, I’m pretty sure if Joongie didn’t scream on my ears I don’t think I will remember it either. So, I was thinking and that’s all what I was doing last night, I was thinking about how could it be any worse than this. A kiss. First thing first, that was totally my first kiss ever –never count that one when I was awake with my sneaky lips on his- and it’s totally because I don’t remember what so ever whar had happened that night at the pub, I mean there is a reason why a first kiss called first kiss right?.

Second, I actually like the fact that my first kiss is Yoochun hence I like him. Third, this is the worst one, the fact that I kissed my presently-having-a-difficult-anger-management-if-he-is-around-me-bestfriend and he hates it. Well I don’t even see his face since yesterday so I don’t really felt any weird feeling either than anxiety. What should I tell him?

‘uh so everyone tells me that I kissed you well maybe because even I was drunk I remember I fell hard for you and I just realized it so you can kiss me again if you’re okay with that?’

nuh uh there is no way I will say that…or maybe

‘hey uh so apparently I kissed you yesterday sorry I can’t remember well just keep continue your angry act behaviour toward me if you aren’t okay with that’…

Maybe I should just resign, damn.

“Where is Yoochun?” Junsu asked.

We already outside our dorm waiting for the van and I think I already knew the answer before Yunho speak up.

“He’s in boa noona’s car I thought you guys know it already?”

Of course.

“Why is Yoochun ride with boa sunbae?”

Because HIS girlfriend is there su-ah…of course ‘THE boyfriend’ will be there too.

“Is Yoochun and Gahee noona really really togeth-ouch! What hyung it’s hurt”

Jae hyung walks closer hugging me after successfully backhead slap Junsu.

“Ahhh it’s cold here let’s get moving right Minnie~ kajja!!”

Can I not?

It’s kind of weird to have my own seat.

The van isn’t that big, much when the staff included, so usually someone will let me sit on their lap, usually it’s either Yoochun or Jaejoong. To be honest it’s always been Yoochun if he’s not suddenly turns to an angry bull out of nowhere and makes me to sit on Jaejoong’s lap. The thing is he seems angrier by the time I plop myself down on Jaejoong’s lap. God knows why…

Now here I am on my own seat, it’s usually his but he gave his spot up anyway so why must I care?

You love him, and that’s makes you deadly care about his whereabouts… yeah right like hell I am…

I called Joongki earlier and he said he will meet us there, that was after a whole hour long lecturing me about not to drink alone because apparently I was a kisser drunker. I swear I won’t be alive if he join forces with Joongie. I think I have to remind myself not to name my kids with anything close to ‘Joong’.

And seems like I have 5 hours before I see him again, with his girlfriend, around the cold snow, way to rub it on my face…most likely.

***

5 hours later…

To be honest, this was not what Minnie would’ve expected when she came inside the resort. Minnie was bracing herself on the road maybe finding the lovebirds rolling around on the snow or worse than ever k-i-s-s-i-n-g but instead she found this Yoochun or should she could say this emo-Yoochun alone. She can’t see him very clearly from the stairs but that mop of black slightly reddish hair must be Yoochun’s. That’s the perks of being famous you got that hairstyle where people will recognize you instantly. Apparently only him whom crazy enough to sit on the opened window in this awesome weather and he was smoking…

She knew that Jaejoong and Yunho smokes but she never sees Yoochun did one or even smell it so it’s must be recently and she sees red. He has asthma, he has an acute freaking asthma which what the doctor said it on her face. It felt like Yoochun punched her when he dragged out the sin in to his mouth. Minnie hates, resent it when people around her especially whom she cares about smoking. She flipped him off once she found out that her beloved cousin actually smokes after years telling her that he’s not. The worst part is he was lying straight on her face for years. Feeling betrayed was just understatement.

“You smoke… Since when…?”

she murmured, her cold voice jolting Yoochun out of his reverie. Oh why did she never notice how thin he became now, she thought staring at his hollow cheekbones…

“Since none of your business, off…”

there is no warm in his eyes, her micky was long gone…

“You have asthma and yet you smoke…”

it’s the only thing that makes you aware of my presence how can I resist to avoid it, Yoochun thought.

“Like I said it’s not your ing business”

it’s not of her ing business he said, she thought, it’s not him whom will crying a mess if he died because of that thing…

He flinched when she came closer