Kyuhyun’s POV

I had the first stage today. It felt good to stand beside my members and sing at the top of my voice again. It felt good when the fans, not only mine, but the whole ELF fan-dom welcomed me with their cheers. At that moment, I truly felt, I AM BACK.

Now it’s back to the tough schedules. My dorm-mates are always considerate of me. They always take into account whether I’ve eaten or not, whether I’m too tired or if I’m having any body aches. Eunhyuk helps me get the dance steps right, staying behind to practice with me into odd hours of the night. He massages my limbs when I feel like I can’t go on anymore and sometimes I find myself pretending to be in pain, just to get him to pay more attention to me.

Please don’t hate me, but it feels good to have his attention. I like this feeling. I feel special when Eunhyuk is taking care of me so much. That’s not illegal now is it? It’s a free country. There is absolutely nothing to this except that I like the attention. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. It can’t be anything else right.

I am also taking part in the variety programs, though mine is limited to the ones SJ as a team have to participate in. I am still being giving resting time by the company, not that I’m ungrateful, but I would rather be working. I hate being alone in the dorm and reading stupid EunHae stuff when I could have been there instead. God what is wrong with me??!!! I have to stop this.

A few weeks later, the SJ program, Explore