So Eun’s POV

My life has been hard of late. It was harder than I could ever imagine. But I’ve been coping, only just. Junho has been in Japan for a month already, which meant he was still a month away from returning back to my side. I missed him dearly and I thought daily calls and Skype video messages were enough to satisfy me, but they weren’t. Nothing beats seeing my man in person.

Things were more relieving, because Kim Bum oppa made it bearable. He had visited me frequently, almost every night and on some nights he would sleep over. I missed having him around, because he is my best friend and an oppa that I cherish wholeheartedly regardless of whatever had happened in the past. So I was thankful for his help and company.

I didn’t want to be the needy girlfriend that could not survive without her boyfriend, because I’m not like that. I’m independent and strong. But sometimes, especially with my injuries where completing day-to-day routines were still quite difficult, I couldn’t help but crave for moral support. So, I’ve started to lean on oppa again and not feel guilty for doing so. My injuries have been recovering well and it wasn’t long until I’ll be 100% recovered. There were many things that were ahead of me after I become healthy again. I had the audition for my first drama role up for grabs, and which I have been diligently preparing for and also walking fit in front of Junho, to show him that I was better than ever and he didn’t need to worry so much while he was doing his solo activities.

For the past few days, I have started to walk without my crutches, since my leg cast was taken off and now I was just wearing a moon boot. My arm cast had been taken off a week ago, as the scans showed that the broken ligaments had already rejoined themselves and I could start to use the arm slowly again. So, I practiced walking very slowly around the top floor, like walking from my bedroom to the bathroom, Hee Sun’s room or the toilet. Walking down the stairs was my next challenge to do alone. I could walk fine with the help of someone holding onto me, but it was still slightly painful.

Today, Kim Bum oppa was coming over for an early dinner after work so I wanted to try to walk without any guidance, to show him how much I have recovered, I much stronger I was.

“Unnie, Kim Bummie oppa is here! It’s time for dinner! Do you want me to ask him to come up?” Hee Sun offered.

“Unnie’s fine by herself, you go ahead first. I’ll slowly come downstairs.” I said, while patting her head.

“Are you sure, unnie? But your foot still hurts a lot doesn’t it?” My dongsaeng has always been caring towards others, even to her friends. She was a good, innocent child that liked to take care of me as her unnie. I taught her well, hah.

“Yes, I’m sure. Don’t worry, Hee Sun-ah. Why don’t you go and greet Kim Bummie oppa first?” I said, while slowly walking alongside her until we reached the staircase. She tugged onto my arm tightly with no intention to let go.

“Aniyo, let’s walk down together. What happens if unnie accidently falls over? Then you will be even more hurt!” Ah, she was one persistent kid that I could never refuse. It’s probably safer if she held onto me, even though she didn’t have enough strength to catch me if I fell. I hope I don’t though, obviously.

“Arasso, let’s go then.”

We slowly walked down the stairs, taking one step at a time. My foot is alright if I’m walking in one motion like this so I’ll try not to move it sideways because it’s probably going to hurt, even with the moon boot on. As we almost reach the bottom, I see Kim Bum oppa standing in front of us, showing a very concerned face. I gave him an assuring smile and thumbs up but it didn’t really wipe out his worriedness.

“So Eunnie, be careful! Don’t rush yourself. Hee Sun-ah, don’t you dare let go of your unnie!” Oppa warned. He was dead serious, so serious that it made Hee Sun panic.

“Neh, oppa! Unnie, we’re almost there!”

“I’m coming. Don’t worry oppa, this will be easy.”

As we reach the last step, I suddenly lose balance of my stance and immediately slipped forward. Aish, why on Earth is the floor wet?! Ouch, that hurt. It really hurt. All I could do was moan and wince in pain as I close my eyes, because I’m just too scared to see how bruised the insides of my leg would be. Screams where coming from everywhere, but why does it feel like I wasn’t on the floor? I can feel someone holding me, someone’s chest moving rapidly, someone whose cologne smelt like Bvlargi Aqva. I opened my eyes slowly, only to see Kim Bum oppa’s frantic look on his face. We both let out a sigh of relief.

Thank goodness, he caught me. If not…I can’t even imagine what would’ve happened.

“Unnie!”

“So Eun-ah!”

“Yah, So Eunnie are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere? I told you not to walk down like that! Aish, you never listen to me do you?” Oppa scolded me. I deserve each and every word. I shouldn’t have rushed things…I don’t think I broke a bone, or any more bones; I think I just pulled a muscle. But it still hurts.

“Oppa…I’m okay. I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have rushed myself. I just wanted to show you—“

“Hush now, I’m sorry for yelling at you like that.” Oppa then hugs me even tighter. Thinking that I would lessen his worries for me, I just made him even more worried. I’m so sorry, oppa.

“Kim So Eun! Why do you always make me worry love?” Appa said.

“So Eun-ah, are you sure you’re alright? You’re so clumsy! Come on now, let’s let you eat dinner quickly so you can rest!” Umma said, as she came over to our side.

“Unnie, I’m so sorry, I should have held onto you tighter so you wouldn’t have slipped…” Hee Sun cried. It wasn’t her fault, it was me being careless.

“Hee Sun-ah, it’s not your fault. It’s my fault; let’s just eat dinner okay? I’m fine.” I tried to comfort her as best as I could.

“Arasso...”

“Come on now, So Eunnie, let’s walk slowly…” Oppa said. He quickly wrapped his right arm around my shoulder, while gripping his hand onto mine as he guided me to the table.

“I’m sorry to have caused a mess again…Umma, Appa, oppa, Hee Sun-ah, I’m sorry to keep you all waiting. I know promises might be too strong, but I’ll try my best not to stack it again.” I said, while laughing off in an attempt to relieve the tension.

“It’s okay, dear. We didn’t hear anything crack, so some rest and more inflammatory tablets will do the trick.” Appa said. Appa also tried to make me feel better. I knew that I would be almost hopeless without my family, oppa and Junho, no matter how much I tried to create that unbreakable wall on the outside.

“I’ll be more careful. I just don’t have any good luck do I?” I really didn’t have much going for me at the moment. The odds were not in my favour, at all.

We then ate my Umma’s special kimchi bolognaise pasta deliciously and peacefully. Even though I just slipped over, I still had the appetite to eat of course. I always made sure that I ate until I was full so that I wouldn’t have to starve in the middle of the night. During dinner, oppa had held onto my hand, throughout the whole time. It made me feel the warmth and comfort from his presence. I really missed having him around, and it was selfish on my behalf because I knew that he still felt a little hostile for many reasons. It’s not that it felt good or that liked him holding my hand like this, it was more because I felt safe. I definitely knew that it wasn’t the same feeling that I used to feel when we were together but what I was worried about was how oppa felt. Worries and stresses just never seem to escape from my mind of late.

After dinner, oppa guided me upstairs to the bathroom, so I could wash up before I go to bed. Oppa came into the bathroom to help take off my moon boot off and then headed to my room. He insisted that he would stay until I slept, just in case I slipped over again. I hope I don’t jinx myself…again.

I step into the shower and turn the water at a warm temperature. I shouldn’t be spending too long in the shower because Umma tells me that it’s not good to leave my leg wet. But I just want to let the water drops fall onto me like this. It made me relax a little and empty my mind completely. My mind didn’t stay empty for long as my thoughts fluttered around in a circle, from reminiscing what happened earlier and how oppa had held my hand to thinking back to the last time I hugged and kissed Junho. I’m missing him a whole lot more than I could imagine. But he’ll be back in no time.

I finally step out of the shower, and began to dress myself into my pajamas and brush my teeth. I looked in the reflection of my mirror. I spot a few new pimples growing around my nose and cheeks. My eyes are becoming droopier by the day. I’m not looking too healthy, I look like some exhausted and drained ahjumma. I really should take a walk outside, even if it was just the garden or to the convenience store down the road. I needed sunshine.

Making my way slowly out of the bathroom, I use the wall as an aid to walk, while holding the moon boot with my other hand. A few more slow steps and I’ve reached my room.

“Oppa…I’ve finished.” I said, as I saw oppa sitting on the cushion stool with his head bobbing up and down. I can see that he is so tired. He must’ve had a tough day at the office.

“Oh, So Eun-ah let me help you.” Oppa jolted up and ran to my side and helped me to reach my bed.

“Thanks, oppa. I don’t know what I could do without you. I really appreciate it, oppa.” I said, as I sat in my bed and gave him my attention. It was true, I owe oppa a lot, because he’s done so much for me during the past month.

“Aigoo, don’t worry about me. I’m glad that I can help. I’m glad that I can see you more often, even if you’re crippled on one leg. I really missed you, So Eunnie.” He said, while placing his hand over mine. It wasn’t the first time tonight. Should I be worried about his actions? Is he trying to prove something? I really hope he isn’t. I can’t endure all the pain I had inflicted onto him all those months ago.

“Oppa…” I flinched ever so slightly and oppa had noticed so quickly, so he removed his hand from mine.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be doing this to you again. I just—“

“Oppa, it’s alright. We’re still best friends no matter what happens. I understand, it’s hard for both of us. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. I’m okay with it…really.” I tried to break the awkwardness. I just wanted to let oppa know that I’m still the same old So Eunnie from before and it was all right for him to feel confused considering his feelings. I wasn’t clear about them, but I could sense they were still lingering under his layers.

“So Eunnie, I better let you sleep and I also have to go too. I have an early morning meeting at the office tomorrow…”

“Thank you for staying with me tonight, again. Next time, you don’t have to stay back because I know you’re really busy too.” I said. Those words were the same that I had said to Junho, but I knew Kim Bum oppa would not allow me to convince him like I did with my boyfriend. He held authority over me.

“I’m not going anywhere and you know it, So Eunnie. But I have something to say,”

“What is it?” Please oppa, don’t.

“I don’t want this to sound bad or selfish…but I just want advise you. I know that you and Junho-ssi love each other a lot and you’d do anything for one another but So Eunnie, if you feel insecure or unsure about the distance thing…I mean, sometimes you just need Junho by your side and due to his busy career and it’ll be the same for him when you work as a full-time actress as well; things might be very tough. I’m just saying, you might want to reconsider some things if you reach that point…” Oppa explained. He isn’t trying to persuade me for other motives or anything. He’s not that kind of person. I know that he’s just concerned…but was the distance thing getting to me? It would be the same for Junho too in the future, with my profession and all. Having the time now to reconsider everything is a good thing. Things are going to change in our relationship, and we needed to prepare for those changes. Oppa really gave me a little wake up call.

“I know oppa. From now on, there will be many changes and both of us will need to face them. But, I’m sure we’ll be okay. Junho loves me wholeheartedly, and I won’t leave him either. I just hope that would be enough…” I confessed in honesty.

“Okay, So Eunnie. As long as you’re aware of you know, the future, then I know that you will be just fine. But just to let you know, if anything happens, I will always be here for you. I’m prepared to—“

“I know, oppa. You should head off now…goodnight Kim Bum oppa. Thanks again, for everything. You’re the best!” I said quickly before he could finish his sentence. I dreaded what he was going to say.

“Goodnight, So Eunnie.” He said, as he suddenly leant forward to place a kiss on my forehead before leaving the room.

It was just a kiss on the forehead. Why am I still so uneasy?

I seriously hoped that it was purely platonic.

If it was any more than of a best friend, or oppa-dongsaeng action then…

I would be having many more sleepless nights.

…

Junho’s POV

Six weeks have passed since I left Seoul for my Japanese solo promotions. The promotions have travelled along well. I’ve been busily practicing my Japanese because since music and variety shows were apart of my schedule, it meant that I had to diligently learn the language at a much more advanced level. Without the members here with me, I feel terribly lonely. The members haven’t had the time to attend my concerts yet, but they said they’d be coming to the final one in Tokyo. During my first five concerts out of twelve, my performances with the band and dance team had improved by the day. I really felt like I was growing as an artist and I’ve learnt many new things during the time alone. I hope I can continue to improve my stages for the remaining concerts.

I was meant to return back home in another three weeks or so, but since there were no schedules for this weekend, I decided to take a break and a short trip back home. A surprise trip actually, for the woman of my life, Kim So Eun.

To say that I just missed her was an understatement. I’d spent every single day yearning to see her face, to feel her touch, to hear her voice. It’s been hard, but for her, she had it much worse. She’s still injured, but she said that she’s begun to walk again, just with her moon boot still on. She also told me that Kim Bum-ssi had more or less taken over what I had left off. I’m happy that they’ve reunited fully because I know how much he means to her.

Before, after Hee Sun’s party, which seemed like a decade ago, the guy didn’t contact So Eunnie that often and he’d barely come over to eat at the family dinners. Even if his parents ate with So Eun’s family and I, on the rare occasion, he still wouldn’t tag along. It was probably because the guy still didn’t like me all that much. I don’t blame him either.

But one thing that I’m worried about is Kim Bum-ssi’s feelings. I’m not sure to what extent they were but I knew they still existed. The guy loved So Eun for a long time and he hid it from her for so many years and he’d been hurt for letting her—. I don’t want to think about that time again. It was a tough period for everyone.

So here I am, arriving in the arrival hall in Incheon Airport and signing a few CD’s of the fans who seemed to know about my sudden return. I waved to my fans and quickly headed outside where I met my manager with my car. I quickly drove off from the airport, Kim Residence bound.

So Eunnie, I’m coming back to you.

Speeding my way through the 5pm after-work peak hour traffic, I finally arrive at So Eun’s house after a forty-five minute drive. I had asked my manager to prepare a bouquet of pink roses to accompany my gift box of special toffee banana-flavoured cake from Japan. I better call her first, since she has no idea that I’m here outside her house.

“Yoboseyo? So Eunnie?”

“Nuneo-yah, how are you?” God, how much have I missed her voice? Singing about that feeling for six weeks still didn’t make my lust any better (A/N: Junho’s debut title track, Kimi no Koe = Your Voice).

“I’ve been good. How about you my love? How’s your leg? Have you eaten yet?” I asked curiously.

“I’m so much better now! I can even walk down the stairs, are you proud? I’m just about to eat dinner. Have you eaten?” She can walk? I’m so happy for her. She must’ve endured a lot without me, but hopefully I can ease the pain in a matter of minutes.

“That’s good and of course I’m proud of you! My woman is a very strong one, so I will never doubt you, Kim So Eun. You could probably break my leg if you wanted to!” I joked.

“Hah, obviously. If you don’t come back soon, I might just have to break your leg so you can feel the pain that I went through!” I missed bickering with So Eunnie like this. She was so funny and adorable when she fought back.

“Arasso, I’ll be back very soon. Anyway, I need to go now dear. Enjoy your dinner!” I hinted in an amused tone.

“I will! I miss you so much. Come back quickly, Junho-yah. I love you.” She’s going to be so surprised to see me. I get ready to head out of my car and walk towards her front gate.

“It’s only another three weeks. I love you too, my So Eunnie. Bye.” I said, as I hanged up her call.

Here goes nothing. I press the doorbell.

Ding dong, ding dong.

The door opens shortly after, and a familiar figure appears in front of me.

“Junho-ssi, what are you doing here?”

It was Kim Bum-ssi. What a surprise, a shock rather.

“Oppa, who is it?” I hear Hee Sun’s voice from behind.

“It’s been a while, Kim Bum-ssi.” I greeted with a slight bow, which the guy did not acknowledge. So he’s still a little uncomfortable and rude around me.

“OMO, PRINCE CHARMING OPPA! I THOUGHT YOU WERE IN JAPAN?!” Hee Sun jumped in surprise. I gave her a big smile. She looks like she’s grown from just six weeks ago.

I then see a person limping very slowly from behind Kim Bum-ssi and Hee Sun. So Eun was walking towards us. She’s looking so much thinner and her hair is cut a little shorter too. But she still looked as beautiful as ever. God, I miss her so damn much that I can barely contain myself.

“Lee Junho, are you actually here in front of me?” She asked, I just nodded in return, as the two people stepped aside for me to enter the house.

“Yes, darling, I’m here. It’s really me and you’re not dreaming.” I said while giving her my biggest smile.

“Oh god, Junho-yah! You have no idea how much I—“ Before she could continue her words, I leaned in close and kissed her tenderly and lovingly on her lips before quickly pulling away because of the presence of others…not to mention her younger sister who was about to scream and her ex-boyfriend eternal best friend.

“I missed you too, Kim So Eun.”

…