Continued from the previous chapter

...

Junho's POV

My hands are cold. My body's numb. I'm still in shock, what have I done? My head is pounding and my vision is blur. Someone's mouth is moving but I cannot hear a word. I can feel nothing but immense pain within my heart. Kim So Eun...has walked away from me. That psychotic, outrageous, life-ruining girl has run far away from here. There is no one here for me now. I do not have any strength to even stand. There is no help. It serves me right, to lay here in this cold, deserted car park. I do not deserve to see anyone after the horrific sin I had done. 

"YAH LEE JUNHO! Junho...are you alright?" My hearing is back. I can hear that person now. It was Wooyoung.

I open my eyes to see my best friend, Jang Wooyoung, the one I betrayed, having a worried and frantic expression on his face. He was not as angry as before. So, I just nod slowly in answer to his question. But was I 'alright'? I'm not even sure anymore.

Wooyoung then places his hand on my bruised and bleeding cheekbone. I just twitched in response, because all this pain was too much for me to handle.

"I am so sorry for that Junho... I should have reacted more maturely. Suzy...aish...I do not even know anymore." apologised Wooyoung. My dearest friend, why are you apologising to me? It was me. All of it.

"Wooyoung...I am deeply sorry. Chincha. She just threw herself onto me. It is my fault. Only mine. So you do not have to apologise." Finally, words came out of my tight mouth.

"Wooyoung-ah...I do not expect you to forgive me, but please don't leave me here alone."

"Junho-yah. Why are you like this? I never will blame you. I should have prevented this from happening...I warned her so many times...but she had to hurt me, you, So Eun..." said Wooyoung. So Eun....where did you go? God, please, tell me that she got home safely.

"So Eun...Wooyoung....did she get home safely?"

"Junho-yah, yes I saw her getting home safely. According to our manager hyung, she left with...that oppa of hers, Kim Bum-ssi." She is safe. At least she is not alone. She's with her Kim Bummie oppa. Safe...that's all I can hope for her to be right now.

"That is good. My mind feels more at ease now. She is safe...that is all that matters. She must really loathe me now. She will never want to see me again...she said so herself. Wooyoung-ah, what do we do?" Tears were falling from my eyes. This was the first time I had cried in front of Wooyoung. But I just cannot hold them back anymore...

"Junho. Listen to me. It was not your fault, so please stop blaming everything on yourself arasso? It is my fault. I should have had more control over Suzy. I should not have let her drink so much alcohol. I should have prevented this from happening. And So Eun would not have left with Kim Bum-ssi..." Wooyoung...you really are my best friend. My brother.

"Wooyoung-ah, it could not have been prevented. It was inevitable that it had happened. Young girls are like that, but when they figure out the right from wrong. They will become wiser and stronger from mistakes. We all will. Give her time." I explained. The pain is starting to disappear now, thanks to Wooyoung being here with me. I never would have thought he would have stayed...

"But as much as I love her, I am not going to give her another chance. It has been so tiring being with her. I don't want to suffer like that again...How about So Eun? What are you going to do?" Wooyoung has suffered the most tonight. Tonight was meant to be his special night, our special night. But that just faded into the dark.

"About So Eun...I do not know. All I know is that I love her enough to let her make her own decisions. Right now, she is in safe hands. That is all that matters." I still cannot bear to see her. If I do, wouldn't the sight of me just bring back all the pain that she had let go of? Seeing her like that...burying herself in sadness, right in front of my eyes...I just do not ever want to see her like that.

"Aigoo, Junho-yah let's head home, patch you up, eat some Spicy Ramen and get some sleep. Hopefully everything will get better tomorrow. Even though I doubt it would..." said Wooyoung, who was trying to stay strong. Well, at this point, he was definitely the stronger one.

"Arasso, let's go home Wooyoung-ah."

"Yah, does your face still hurt?" asked Wooyoung.

"Of course it does! You must have been working out like a muscle man these days!" Yes, my senses have finally returned and my face is very sore, deservingly sore.

"Sure have! So do not get your hyung angry again or else!" warned Wooyoung.

"Yes hyung-nim!"

Wooyoung then put my arm across his shoulder to help me walk back to manager hyung's car. We slowly together with silly smiles on our faces after our little inside joke, but our smiles became into remorseful frowns. It has been a long night.

...

Back at home

The boys finally arrive back home. All the members are fast asleep. Wooyoung quickly guides Junho into their room, and heads out to their living room in search for their First Aid Kit. 

"Junho-yah, stay still. I need to treat your wounds, so do not move you bastard." said Wooyoung.

"Ouch! Aish chincha, Wooyoung hyung-nim hits so hard." replied Junho, who was addressing Wooyoung as 'hyung-nim' in order to make Wooyoung feel better.

"Be a man and hold it in okay? It's done! You look very gangster like with that bandaid on your face. Our cute Nuneo has disappeared!" said Wooyoung cutely.

"Thank you Wooyoungie. You are the best. Chincha. I have always been born to work for the mafia!" joked Junho.

"I know I am. I am getting hungry, so I am going to cook some ramen, do you want some Nuneo?" asked Wooyoung.

"No thanks, you go for it...I am going to sleep. I think I just need to rest my mind, my face, my body...my heart..." said a gloomy Junho.

"Arasso, you should sleep. Do not be so hard on yourself, your heart. Let it all out if you need to. I'll sleep in our room tonight okay?" offered the kind Wooyoung.

"I will try...thank you Woo. Saranghae." said Junho, as Wooyoung left the room to cook ramen to heal himself also. Tonight has been a horrendous night for the two boys. Resting at peace is the only way that they could heal together.

Junho tugs into his warm bed after taking off his socks and slowly stretching his aching body out. He covers himself with his doona and grabs his phone from his pocket. Junho slowly opened 'Create a new message' and 'Caller ID: My So Eunnie <3'.

To: My So Eunnie <3

So Eun, I hope you can understand what I am about to say. I am not begging for your forgiveness, that is your decision. The whole incident was unintentional. Suzy was drunk, so she had pushed herself onto me. Before I could react, she already made contact...I should have done everything I could to prevent that from happening. Loathe me, hate me, despise me - anything to make you feel at ease. This is the sincere truth, and I had to tell you. One last thing, Kim So Eun. I cannot bear the thought of losing you because you are the most important person in my life and I have never felt like this to anyone but you. But if you do not want to see me again...I can accept that, if you are happier that way. Stay safe and healthy, I beg you.

From: Junho

...

Next morning at So Eun's house

So Eun had endured everything that had happened last night, but only with the help of her Kim Bummie oppa. With him right beside her for the whole night, holding her tightly, just like when they were younger, had made her feel more comfortable and reduced the sadness in her crushed heart. She feels so grateful towards Kim Bum, for finally picking up her call at that moment, if he had not, she does not know how she can sleep in her bed, safe at home like this. Her best friend has returned back to her side, but the one man who was had been together with her while her oppa was gone, was the one she was deeply hurt by yet she still yearned for at this moment.

So Eun's POV

The sun has risen. It is finally morning, a new day. A fresh new day. I open my eyes only to see Kim Bum oppa sleeping so peacefully beside me. It is such a relief that he came for me last night. If he did not come...I do not know who would and if I could even be here in my room right now. I am so thankful that Kim Bummie oppa is back to being the oppa that cared for me, treated me ever so tenderly, being my rock whenever I was down...

Despite oppa is laying here next to me, after consoling me for hours last night as I cried my heart and eyes out...my heart is still not healed. It still aches inside, so badly, that I just want to scream out loud to let all the pain disappear. Before I can do that, I really need to turn my phone completely off, it has been buzzing for a while now. It must be him.

'You have 2 missed calls'

'You have one new message' 

Show.

'My dearest Junho <3 (2 missed calls)'

'My dearest Junho <3 (1 new message)'

Open message: 

From: My dearest Junho <3

So Eun, I hope you can understand what I am about to say. I am not begging for your forgiveness, that is your decision. The whole incident was unintentional. Suzy was drunk, so she had pushed herself onto me. Before I could react, she already made contact...I should have done everything I could to prevent that from happening. Loathe me, hate me, despise me - anything to make you feel at ease. This is the sincere truth, and I had to tell you. One last thing, Kim So Eun. I cannot bear the thought of losing you because you are the most important person in my life and I have never felt like this to anyone but you. But if you do not want to see me again...I can accept that, if you are happier that way. Stay safe and healthy, I beg you.

Junho...I knew that it was like this. I wanted to stay by you, I really did. After seeing Wooyoung-ssi hitting you so brutally like that...But I just could not let myself to stay. I am so sorry. I cannot bear losing you either, but right now...I do not know how I feel. Junho-ah what should we do? My tears are starting to form from my red and swollen eyes... And my sniffling has woken oppa up. He would not want me to look like this again...

"Oppa...good morning." I said, while trying to stop my tears from falling.

"So Eunnie...why are you crying again?" asked oppa, as he places his hands on my face and used the tip of his thumb to wipe away my tears; for the thousandth time over the past six hours. Why do I have to be so pitiful?

"He...he..."

"He texted you and called you many times did he not? I heard your phone buzzing all night long..." said Kim Bum oppa. He really does understand me better than anyone else...bar Lee Junho...

"So Eun-ah, you still love him right? He explained that it was all an accident didn't he?" Yes, even oppa knew. I love Junho with all my heart, but I am afraid that I will never get the chance to say it to him.

"I...still do. He explained it all in one text message. He did not want my forgiveness, he just wanted me to hate him if that made me feel happier. The only thing he begged for is for me to be safe and healthy. What should I do oppa? I am so lost in everything....I told him last night that I cannot bear to see him anymore...however my damaged heart is still missing him." I cannot bear it for any longer... I really give up. I am sorry to you oppa for saying these words that must hurt you too, but I just want to let those depressed feelings escape from inside of me; so that the pain can go away. And never return.

"As much as I hate him for being together with you and kissing another woman... All I know for sure is that he loves you. Dearly." explained oppa sincerely. He loves me? I feel it, but at that moment, I was not so sure.

"You two have made it through so many obstacles that either of you could have walked away if you wanted to. But have you wondered why and how you two still lasted?" asked oppa.

I just remain silent, as I reminisce all those times I shared with Junho. The time where he and Ye Eun-ssi left me alone to confess to each other. That time when I saw them both together as a couple for the first time. That time when he took me home from the coffee shop, and kissed my forehead. That time when he and Ye Eun kissed so passionately in front of me, causing my heart to break. Also, that picnic night, where he confessed and asked me to become his girlfriend... How I, him, we, went through all those times was because of one thing we shared, wasn't that it?

"It is your love. So Eun, at least let him explain to you in person. Then make a decision." offered Kim Bum oppa.

"But oppa...I really do not know. I am hurt. Really hurt. However, I cannot let him out of my mind." 

"I love him so much...more than I have ever loved someone," I should stop now. Stop saying these things to oppa. He has just returned beside me and all the words that I am saying is giving him very reason to leave me again.

"...in that way. You two are different. I am sorry. I should not be talking about him like that to you again, especially after what he did to me..."

"So Eun, I do not care. Just say it out loud, but please stop crying. I hate it so much when you cry because it pains me to see you like this. Every single time." said Kim Bum oppa.

The doorbell is suddenly ringing, for several times. And all I hear is a man screaming from outside. I look out of my window with Kim Bum oppa. It was Junho. Lee Junho. He is here.

"KIM SO EUN! KIM SO EUN! Let me talk to you, please. I beg you!" yelled Junho from outside. I look down for a clearer view of him. He is on his knees, on his knees. Begging for me. With Ye Eun-ssi comforting him, trying to make him stand, but he refuses her help. How can he be like this? Why does he have to look so pitiful? Junho...I am so confused, what should I do?

...

"Oppa...he is outside on his knees...Should I go to him?" asked a So Eun, who was in total distraught from the sight of seeing her Lee Junho behaving like this.

"If you want to..." replied Kim Bum regretfully, as So Eun begins to step away from him.

Kim Bum could not endure to let her go to Lee Junho again, at least not in this vulnerable state that she is in. So he quickly grabs her arm and pulls her into his embrace.

"So Eun. You do not have to suffer like that again. I will not let you go again. Not when you are broken and torn like this. So please, So Eun, just stay this once...for me." said Kim Bum softly. This was the first time that he had ever asked his So Eunnie to do anything for him. He had felt so dissappointed in himself to be so selfish in asking her to stay, but in all honesty, he had always wanted to ask her to. This was his only chance for redemption.

"Okay. Oppa. I will stay with you." said So Eun apologetically with increasing teardrops falling from her eyes, streaming down her cold face and onto Kim Bum's soaked shirt.

Her teardrops became almost like raindrops when she saw Junho, who was still on his knees, with Ye Eun holding him, and crying. Crying. He really was. This was the first time that Junho had cried in public and in front of So Eun. Seeing her lover like this, it gave her a heap of indescribable agony. She stared into his eyes from above and in her Kim Bummie oppa's embrace, while Junho had stared back at her from below in Ye Eun's warm hold on him. The expression that the two held for each other at this instant was like lost lovers that had no sense of where they are going to be headed. No words were exchanged and no movements were made. Just silence. Until Junho finally stands up and walks away from So Eun's front door while tugging onto Ye Eun as he struggles to walk properly due to his sore body.

"He's gone..." whispered So Eun.

"She's gone..." whispered Junho.

...