I looked at my phone; it was 4:45 p.m., fifteen more minutes until the wedding service. They’re probably looking everywhere for me right now but I still don’t want to go back to the church. Besides, they don’t need me there anyway. My mom and the wedding planner have already settled everyone.

Quietly, I continue my stroll around the church’s empty garden. I was at a secluded area where there were mainly bushes and trees. The colorful and tended flowers were displayed at the front. I knew people would be coming to take pictures there so I decided to go further in, where the plants weren’t tended regularly.

Looking around, I found a nice shady tree and decided to take a break. Before taking a seat, I checked to see if the grass is wet. I wouldn’t want to stain the dress since my sister paid so much for it. I hugged my knees and stared at my phone again; twelve more minutes. I noticed that I had no signal either. My mom must be panicking. However, I let the thought slide from my mind. It’s been a while since I’ve acted so spoiled and this is the most I can do to revolt my sister’s wedding. I’ll have to learn to accept the wedding for years to come so I should at least be able to do what I want to do for the remaining twelve minutes right? Correction, ten more minutes.

I buried my face in knees, taking deep breaths. My heart was aching. However when I took in another gasp of air, I found that I couldn’t swallow. I closed my eyes, hugging my knees tighter so that I can forget about the suffocating feeling.

Why can’t I just disappear? Why must I be so unlucky?

For once the thought of seeing my best friend scared me. Never in my life have I considered that his presence would bring me pain instead of the warmth and comfort that he has always ensured me. My head was pounding now but I couldn’t do anything about it. I’ve already downed two pills of painkillers before going to the church. Now I know now it has nothing to do with my system. Yet, my chest is constricting even more. I hold on to my chest, to steady my breathing.

Just then, I heard twigs snapping and leaves being brushed out. Someone was coming. I stood up and pretended to act normal. Soon, a voice comes up from behind me. The same familiar voice I’ve been listening to for fourteen years. “Jieun-ah?” it asks. Unlike the warm feeling that I once used to get, I found myself feeling anxious and scared. I didn’t want to turn around. I couldn’t anyway; my feet aren’t responding.

He places his hand on my shoulder, and I felt myself stiffen. I sighed, “Yeah?” My body stubbornly shifted to his side and he drops his hand. I refused to make eye contact.

“What are you doing here? People have been looking for you,” he says.

With my hand clenched, I lied. “The air was stuffy inside and I just wanted to explore for a bit.”

“Come inside already. It’s starting soon,” he sighs. I look up at him, finally meeting his eyes. They were dull and wet. They didn’t have the same life that I once used to see. I couldn’t help but to feel saddened and so, I tried to smile.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Wedding blues already?” I joke. “You aren’t even married yet.”

He looks away from me immediately. “It’s nothing. Come on, they’re waiting for us.” He tugs on my arm, pulling me back to the church. We were already halfway there when I decide to stop. It hit me then and there that I don’t need to make myself suffer.  He turns around questioningly while I struggled to keep my composure.

My expression hardens. “Go ahead. I’ll follow you after. I think I left my cellphone,” I lied. He looks at me skeptically but sees the people ushering him inside.

Realizing he must surrender, he responds. “Alright, but be sure to come. It’s starting in less than five minutes.”

“I will, don’t worry,” I say in the most convincing way possible. He gives me one last look and runs toward the entrance of the church, leaving me alone. I balled the sides of my dress into my fist.

Determined, I headed towards the back of the church. Taking my phone from my coat pocket, I looked at the time; five more minutes. It’s now or never. I clutched on my phone and ran away from the church. The guests who happened to witness me pointed and murmured to each other. They’re probably wondering why I’m running away. I myself can’t answer that question, but seeing Wooyoung dressed up in wedding suit that wasn’t made to match with mine, gave me a strong urge to flee. All things I was forced to do, I’ve gritted my teeth and done them all. This is the first that I’ve learned to run away and the temporary freedom I feel now is undeniable.

Now, I was at the parking lot and am sure that they’re not going to see me anymore. I stopped running. I was panting hard and my feet were killing me. I clutched on my chest to catch up with my breathing. I was bent over, gasping to find relief. I had closed my eyes shut to stabilize myself. Suddenly, I felt myself tumble back as a strong force shoved my knees. With a gasp, I waited for the impact. However instead, I felt strong arms wrap around me, catching me mid-air. I open my eyes. I was in the arms of a stranger. 

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