One more chapter left~~

Chapter 16 : I'll Let You Go

Sena’s POV

“You should’ve told me earlier.” Ilhoon bit his lips. I looked at him and frowned. I was sorry about it but Sehun’s stares from across the room is just disturbing this conversation. Ilhoon noticed it too since he moved closer and chuckled.

“I did and you say I was joking.” I defended. “But I’m sorry anyway…to let this happened to you.”

“Let what—Ah!” he winced when I suddenly touched his wounded face. Surely it hasn’t died down—the pain I mean. I patted it softly and smiled. This is it; the closure I’ve been wanting for so long. This war, pain I have with Ilhoon will end today. I nodded, looking back to see if Sehun’s staring. And to my surprise—well not actually—as time passed by, he’s scooting closer and closer when he was originally sitting with EXO.

“I’m really sorry.” I apologized again. Ilhoon shook his head and smiled. “It was wrong for me too.” I looked up at him and saw the emptiness in his eyes; I followed his gaze and found girls surrounding Sehun and his friends. And I saw that Kyungmi tugging into his arm. I looked away and found myself raging with jealousy.

“You know,” he started again. “I’ve thought about all the things you’ve said yesterday. I was mean, self-righteous, proud, and selfish and just…well mean to ever leave you. I really thought that you’ll not take it into hearts as you now—well I assumed that you know about my real feelings towards you.”

“I loved you, Ilhoon.” I confessed. “In fact, there perhaps some left of those feelings inside of me. I hate seeing you hurt because that’ll hurt me too. I’ve had a wonderful time with you. You taught me so much; about love, my heart, separation, basically about my life. You’ve shown me so many things that half of my high school years were filled with our memory. I really do cared and maybe I still do.”

“But it wasn’t as much as you’ve felt for him.” It came not as a question but as a fact. It was right—he is right. “I’ve known you more than you do about yourself. When I first came into your life, you’re not really into me aren’t you?” I chuckled while Ilhoon just stayed there, smiling as we talked. “That actually hurts, Sena.” He joked.

“I was happy too.” He concluded. “And now, after talking to you like this, I think I’ll be able to finally let you go. It has been a pure bliss being with you.” He turned me towards him and rested his gaze on mine. “Let me kiss you for the last time.”

I was hesitating. The corner of my eyes met with Sehun’s. There were still girls, still a pang of jealousy in my heart. Sehun saw how close we were and his eyes whispered ‘no’ to me. He was stoned there but Ilhoon was getting closer. “No,” I breathed out, pushing him away. “I’m…his.” I reasoned out and looked away.

“I see that you’re not very secured to say that.” Ilhoon looked at me again. “Use me, Sena. I know you need this.”

“U-use you—w-what are you talking about?” I gritted through my teeth. Kyungmi pulled Sehun closer; resting her head on the crook of his neck and Sehun remained there, still looking at me. Why isn’t he pushing her at all? I felt betrayed when I was the only one who tried to be truthful. I bit my lips and Ilhoon’s tug shot me back.

He cupped the sides of my face and leaned in. I closed my eyes but no, not even a small pressure resting on my lips.

“The memories of when I first saw you become faint. The love swing has stopped. I board the train that will never come back. I’ll let you go…I’ll let you go.” (See what I did there? :P)

I moved back. He was referring to me and I found the words perfectly fit in our situation. I smiled and caressed his cheeks in return. Then, I’ll finally be letting you go too. “Thank you, Ilhoon.” Just then, the music changed. Ilhoon was still staring at me and I couldn’t restrain off his eyes.

Do you remember the day we first met?

It was a raining day on the streets of Apgujeong.

We were under one umbrella and although our shoulders get wet, we were so happy.

I can’t…Sehun… I found it hard to look away, seeing all the flashes on Sehun with Kyungmi, other girls, how he was just there, doing absolute nothing.

Our lips pressed together as I closed my eyes. My heart was racing through my body, out of my sanity. How could I be kissing another man and initiated it?! I bit my own lips in frustration. This stupid jealousy! Way to go, Shin Sena, you just scored yourself another massive break up!

As we waited for the last bus at 11:55pm, I didn’t want to let you go.

As I walked you home, our first kiss under the street light was so sweet.

Ilhoon’s hand moved to my waist, circling me under his domination while the other took my head deeper into him. He pulled away, only to tilt his head the other way. This lyrics are messing up with my mind. First, Sehun and now Ilhoon. This is just...confusion.

Use me, Sena. I know you need this.

I’ll let you go.

I trust you.

I trust you, Sena.

Stop! I finally pulled away and closed my eyes in disgust. I took a deep breath and walked away. I didn’t see the look on Sehun, on Ilhoon or on any particular anyone. I just walked away. I’ve hurt him—both of them. I’ve hurt Sehun…my dearest Sehun.

I’ve hurt my Oh Sehun.

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Ilhoon felt a tap on his shoulder. He wasn’t going to turn around to see who it is. His eyes were fixed on the door where Sena had left. She’s going to walk back in, and they’ll be together forever. There’ll be no more Sehun in their life, no other disturbance. Almost five minutes had passed by since she has gone.

“Ilhoon-ah,” Minhyuk’s voice coaxed him. “She has left.”

“Minhyuk,” he gulped. He shouldn’t have let her go in the first place. He should’ve stayed and be by her side. He shouldn’t leave her at all. “Distract me so I won’t chase after her.”

“You did well, buddy.” Ilhoon bit his lips, finally turning towards his friends. He craved a small smile and nodded his head. “I did the right thing.”

“You did.” Eunkwang patted his head. “My dear Ilhoon had done his best. You’re doing the right thing.”

 “She’s gone now.” He breathed in. “She’ll leave me forever.” His voice hitched. “She’s going to Italy tomorrow. She’s forever gone. I won’t get to see her ever again.”

Hyunsik took his friend’s head and hugged him. Ilhoon finally broke into tears. His voice trembled and his grips on Hyunsik’s back are tightened. He finally broke in tears. “I won’t get to see her anymore.”

Have a wonderful Christmas, turtles~ ^b^

*Forever judging each others*