Siwon's P.O.V. 

Blood, sweat, and tears 

The night was darker than usual. The sky was cloudy and gloomy. The moon and the stars were no where to be found. Rain poured ferociously and drenched all the pedestrians as they scurry off to shade. While others, pulled their umbrellas out and braved the fiery weather instead. 

People walked in different directions. No one cared about their shoes getting soaked in the rain or their hair getting ruined. They ignored and shoved past each other just to get where they need to be. Some of them were probably hurrying to get home while some, maybe were hustling to get back to work. I, however, was racing to get the love of my life back and correct my mistakes. 

There was an ocean of people but my eyes were glued to the only one that matters. "Donghae!" I called his name over and over but he just continued walking away from me. I forced my way towards him to say I was sorry for overacting and being so irrational. 

I elbowed and pushed people in front of me just to get closer to him, but when he was finally in close distance, I realized that I was too late. Donghae crossed the street and didn't see that the green light just came on. All I could do was scream his name on top of my lungs, hoping that somehow my voice would save him. But I was useless. I just stood there and watched as the most frightening event of my life happen right before my eyes. 

My first instinct was run as fast as I could to get to him and that's what I did. I dropped down to my knees next to him and cradled his head on my lap. I was horrified when I saw blood running from the top of his head down to his cheek. I felt a sudden urge to hurt myself. I wished that I was the one that got hit instead of him. I was the one that had caused all this. Not him… 

The driver of the car went down and said something behind me, but I ignored him. If Donghae wasn't lying down helplessly in my arms, I would've beaten the guy up. But at that moment, all I wanted was to make sure Donghae stays alive. 

Hae gave me a faint stare whilst I pleaded mercilessly for him to stay awake. I knew he wanted to be strong but he was too weak to even say a word. And when his eyes started closing, I was sure then that right in the middle of that street, I have lost Donghae forever. 

Tears streamed down my face. I held Donghae tighter and whispered all the things I wanted to say to him. Things I was supposed to tell him back at the party. 

I laid my cheek on his forehead and squeezed my eyes shut as our happiest moments together flashed in my mind. I rocked him gently and told him how much I love him and how sorry I was for everything. 

Moments later, sirens filled the air and the ambulance came shortly. Two paramedics went down first, followed by a male nurse, and a middle-aged woman. The nurse knelt beside me and told me that they would have to take Donghae. I immediately refused and yelled at him. He was trying to separate me from Donghae and that was the last thing I would have allowed at the time. Then I felt a hand on my arm. I looked up and saw the woman looking down on me. 

"Sir, we need to rush him to the hospital now. You may come with us if you want to", she said. 

Her calmness convinced me into agreeing with her, so I calmed myself down and decided to let go of Hae. I got on my feet and watched as the paramedics carry him to a stretcher then lifted him off to the ambulance. 

The male nurse got in with them and so did the old woman. She stretched out her hand toward me and said, "Hop on in, sir." I was afraid that my weight would pull her down so I just grabbed the metal bar attached to the door and yanked myself in. 

One of the paramedics shut the door behind me right before they all went on to their jobs. The male nurse asked me questions and wrote my answers on his clipboard. He asked me things like Donghae's full name and mine, his age, blood type, and my relation to him. 

When I answered the last one in confidence and said the word "husband", the nurse couldn't help himself but stare up to me for a second before writing it down. 

The other paramedic held an oxygen pump to Donghae's nose then started pressing it. The woman---who turned out to be a doctor---pulled a stethoscope from her pocket and checked Donghae's heartbeat. Donghae's face looked peaceful while lying down on that stretcher amidst the blood on his cheek and the commotion going on around him. They were all saying medical terms I couldn't understand while we all try to remain seated as the ambulance sped through the busy streets of Seoul. 

Despite the chaos, I managed to lace my fingers with Donghae's. I leaned down and rested my head on his hand. His skin felt cold against mine but it still brought me comfort. I closed my eyes and prayed intensely for him to be alright. 

The ride to the hospital wasn't long and they were opening the doors again before I knew it. I released Donghae's hand then they pulled him out through the stretcher. I got down last and followed them, not wanting to leave Hae out of my sight. 

They wheeled Hae to the emergency room and took him to a small space surrounded by dark green curtains. And before getting in with her team, the doctor stopped me and said, "I'm sorry sir, but you can't go in there." 

I counteracted her composure by putting up a strong guise. "I am not leaving him."

She sighed and told me, "Sir, he will be just on the other side of these curtains."

I ran a hand on my damp hair as I try to think of a good excuse to be on Donghae's side, but she spoke again before I did. "He's in good hands. Don't worry." 

Her sympathetic look won me over so I just nodded, even though I wasn't totally convinced about she said. I don't think I'd stop worrying until Donghae tells me himself that he is fine. 

The woman walked away then disappeared behind the curtains. And then I was left alone standing at the eerily bright hallways of the emergency room. 

After a few minutes, a voice called out my name. "Siwon!" 

I looked to my left and saw Eunhyuk and the rest of the guys running up to me. They were all still wearing their tuxedos like me and the same distraught expression. 

Hyuk opened his arms and surprised me with a hug. He looked down at the blood on my hands and on my clothes and exclaimed, "What happened?! Where's Donghae?" 

I looked around them and saw the horror on each their faces. They were clearly worried as I was, and I hated myself for it. I wanted to run and hide but the fear of losing Donghae wore me down, so I just dropped my head to hide away my disappointment. 

"Is Donghae fine?" Kyuhyun asked. 

I stifled a cry and all I could do was shake my head and say, "I don't know." 

We looked at each other for a second then Hyuk stepped up and gave me a pat on the back. "It's going to alright, man. He can do this." 

It took a while before the doctor came back in sight. She stepped out of the curtains, took her gloves off then saw me right away. 

She walked up to me and I asked, "How is he? Is he going to be okay?" 

Her gentle expression never left her face, despite her hair sticking out in different directions, she still looked calm and comforting. "I don't have a definite answer to that yet, but for now, I'd say that he is much better", she said then the male nurse from earlier signalled something to her and she nodded. 

That agitated me so I raised my voice to get her attention back. "What do you mean?!" 

"We did a minor operation on the wound on top of his right eyebrow, so the bleeding had stopped already. Besides that, we didn't find any more complications that needed an operation and that may be a good sign". 

"So, can we see him now?" Hope lingered in my voice. 

"Not yet. We still need to take him to the radiology lab for an x-ray as well a CT scan to determine the reason of his unconsciousness." 

"You mean he's still knocked down?" Hyuk asked behind me. 

The doctor turned her head to him and said, "Yes. So, until then, I ask for your patience and we will get back to you as soon as we get the final result." 

The male nurse came out then pulled the curtains to the side. I looked behind the doctor and caught a glimpse on Donghae still lying on the stretcher. There was a small piece of white gauge attached on his forehead---seemingly the wound the doctor was talking about. Two other nurses pulled his stretcher out and carefully wheeled Hae towards the other hallway. 

"Aren't you going with them? Maybe they need your assistance in there. Do those men know what they're doing?" I couldn't help but ask. My anxiety level was on its peak and I just wanted the best for Donghae. 

Hyuk playfully hit me on the shoulder and said, "Siwon. Relax. Hae's gonna be fine." 

The doctor smiled at me. "I'm sorry, but I only work in the emergency department. Another doctor will attend your friend." She looked around the guys and said, "But the X-ray process and the readings may take time to finish. So why don't you gentlemen grab some coffee and take a seat first. There is a waiting area across the hall." 

"Sounds like a good idea. Thank you", Hyuk said in his most polite voice. 

"Okay. I'll have to leave you boys now. Have a good night." The doctor expressed her kindness to all of us then she looked at me again and said, "Just have faith". She gave me double pat on my arm and left. 

"Let's go, guys. We've stayed here long enough", said Shindong-hyung.

I turned around and the guys were already walking away while I stood still on my spot. 

"Anyone wants coffee? I'm buying", Ryeowook paused and pointed his thumb out to the door. 

Almost all of them said yes then Wookie turned to me and asked, "How 'bout you, Siwonnie?"

I know the coffee might have helped me, but with my head feeling like it's going to explode, I don't think my body would've allowed it. So I just pressed my lips together and shook my head. 

I didn't realize Hyuk was still standing beside me until he exhaled heavily and put an arm around my shoulder. "C'mon, man. Go take a rest first." 

Ryeowook came back carrying two trays of Starbucks. He handed coffee to each of the guys then took a seat beside me. "You sure you don't want some?" he asked before taking a sip from his cup.

"I'm good. Thanks", I replied. 

The waiting area composed of leather seats lined up across the room. The place was brightly lit with fluorescent lights and potted plants stood on all corners. A clean suffocating smell filled the room and made the waiting even more unbearable. And although some of the guys were talking, a dreary silence took over me. 

Wookie sat beside me while quietly drinking his coffee, and Sungmin sat on my other side doing the same. Leaning at the wall beside us, Hyuk stood with his arms crossed in front of him while talking to Kangin and Shindong-hyung.  

I looked up and saw Yesung-hyung facing the other side while he made phone calls. Next to him, sat Kyuhyun staring blankly at an empty space with a cup of coffee on his hand. 

I have never seen him this shaken up and quiet. I figured he was still probably traumatised from his accident that happened few years back. I suddenly felt bad for the kid. I sat up straight and was about to ask him if he was okay when suddenly we heard hasty footsteps across the hall. 

I turned my head to check who was coming and saw Manager-hyung rushing toward us with Hae's brother Donghwa and their mother, who was holding a handkerchief next to her chest as if she was having a hard time breathing. Manager-hyung must have called them up and brought them here. 

We all stood in unison as the three of them neared us. Mrs. Lee walked up first and looked at me. "What happened to my son? Where is he?"

I froze. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. The pained look on her face tensed me. I felt terrible seeing her worry for Donghae. And I felt responsible for it. 

There was an awkward pause before Yesung-hyung decided to speak up for me. "Donghae's undergoing an x-ray check now, and we still haven't heard from the doctor's yet." 

Mrs. Lee slowly bowed her head and sobbed. She wiped a tear with her handkerchief and cried out, "Oh, my son…" 

We stood in a circle and were all pained by the sight of Mrs. Lee weeping in her most fragile demeanour. Donghwa went to his mother and tried to comfort her. He hugged her with an arm and reassured her by saying, "It's going to be okay, Omma." 

Some of the guys also said their comforting words while I stood there feeling like the worst person in the world. I watched them all being worried sick for Donghae and not realizing that this is all because of me. 

I walked backwards reluctantly before turning around and rushed to the nearest restroom. 

I locked myself inside and hit the door with my fist. I was furious at myself. I wanted scream out and kick things but I was afraid I won't be able to stop myself when I do, and I'd completely lose it. 

I took off my coat then threw it on the floor. I rolled my sleeves up and walked over to the sink. 

I turned the faucet on and splashed cold water on my face. I did it twice more and rubbed my eyes with it. I turned the water down and stared at myself in the mirror. 

My hair was still damp. My clothes were also wet from the rain and stained with Donghae's blood. My eyes looked spent from all the stress and tears. Who would've thought that this was where we would find ourselves after that damned party… This night was supposed to be great. Donghae and I were supposed to get back together. But I ruined everything again. 

I glared at my reflection. Look at what you have done. Look at where your anger and jealousy brought Donghae. You are a terrible person, Siwon… You are an who does nothing but hurt the people you love! You don't deserve them. You are worthless. 

A knock on the door pulled me back from my self loathing. I went to the door and ran a hand through my hair before yanking the door open. 

Mario still wearing his formal clothes, stood in front of me with dried blood sticking under his nose and a small cut on his lip. He opened his mouth to say something but before he could say anything, my fist was already smacking his jaw. 

"HOW DARE YOU SHOW UP HERE, YOU PIECE OF !" It was too late to stop myself. Anger took over my mind the moment I saw his face. It took a lot of will to stop myself from strangling him. 

He clenched his jaw and held it with his hand. "I deserved that." 

Hyuk, Sungmin, Shindong-hyung, and Kangin-hyung suddenly appeared behind Mario. "What's going on here?" asked Sungmin. 

"Is this the guy who kissed Donghae?" said Kangin-hyung. He grabbed Mario's collar then shoved him to the wall. "What do you want, huh?!"

Hyuk and Shindong-hyung grabbed Kangin-hyung's arms then pulled him away. Sungmin stood between them and blocked Mario from Kangin-hyung. 

"You better leave, Mario. You've cause enough problem to Siwon and Donghae", Hyuk calmly said but with a hint of annoyance in his tone.

"I'm not here to start a fight. I just want a minute to talk to Siwon", explained Mario. He looked at me in the eye as he towers over Sungmin effortlessly.

"No one wants to talk to you, punk. So why don't you just get the hell out of here", Kangin-hyung snapped back. 

I looked at Mario for a second. Something with the way he looked at me made me want to hear him explain himself. I thought about what Donghae would have wanted if he was here. I know he would want me to face Mario in a mature way. So I decided to give a him a chance. "It's okay, hyung. I want to hear what this guy has to say." 

Hyuk and I exchanged a knowing look. I nodded at him and he said, "Alright. We'll just be at the next room." 

Kangin-hyung soothed himself out then he glowered at Mario and walked out. The rest of them followed him and left Mario and I alone. 

"What do you want?" I asked him with my coldest stare. 

"I came here to apologize…"He scoffed then shook his head at himself. "If that even matters now." 

I averted my eyes away from because I couldn't look at him without wanting to kick his . But I let him go on. "I know it's my fault. Donghae only kissed me because he thought I was you. I know I should've told him. But I didn't. Because I… I love him." 

I shot him a menacing look, but I kept quiet still. How dare this guy come up to me and tell me he loves my husband. I balled my hands into fist and willed myself to stay calm. 

He seemed to notice my tension he just made so he redeemed himself and said, "Maybe not as much as you do, but I care about him. Donghae made me happy and… for a while I thought I could be selfish for once and keep someone in my life. I was naive enough to think that he'll choose me over you." He breathed wearily. "I wanted to fight for him. Make him believe that being with me would make his life better." 

"And you thought that I was just going to let that happen?!" I snapped. 

"Yes." He shrugged. "But look at where it got him." Mario bit his lip and stared down. For a moment I thought he was going o burst into tears, but he held them back. Like me, he was agonised about what happened to Hae. 

"Tonight made me realize that Donghae and I are not made for each other. But you guys are." This guy really fell in love with my husband. I can see it in his eyes. He's hurt having to let go of someone that has never been his. 

He looked down at his hands, embarrassed to let his heart out to me. The guy who just punched him two minutes ago. "The moment you… went for him and called out his name when he ran away, I knew then that your love for each other is something I can never break."

He exhaled and straightened himself. "So I accept my defeat. I am letting him go. And as soon as I'm sure that Donghae gets back on his feet well, I will disappear from your lives and you'll never see me again." 

I was speechless for a moment. I dug up for words in my mind but I managed to say was, "Good." 

"Alright, then." He nodded. "That's all I have to say." He turned around to leave but I stopped him. "Wait." 

He looked at me and cautiously waited for me to say something. 

"Thank you." I forced the words out my mouth. I didn't really want to say it, but it felt just.

His brows furrowed in confusion. "For what?" 

"For being a man. And for loving my Donghae", I answered. 

A small smile emerged on his. "It wasn't a hard thing to do." 

I paused a second, trying to figure out if I should go on and spill what's on my mind. "Donghae is a very special person and he deserves all the love he gets. Even the one from you."

"He deserves real happiness. And I think you're the only person who could give that to him", he confessed. 

I released a breath and took two steps forward. I offered a hand to him as a sign of truce. He did the same then clasped his hand on mine then shook it. 

We dropped our hands and stood in front of each other in silence. Eye to eye, man to man. 

Hyuk bursted back into the room and anxiously said, "Siwon, quick. Donghae's doctor just came. The results are in. Come on." Then he stopped himself and gave Mario and I a funny stare. 

I took a deep breath then walked back to the waiting area. Mario and Hyuk followed me without a word. I was a lot more at ease than a while ago, but my veins were shaking inside. 

"This is him", Manager-hyung said when I entered the room. 

A doctor in a white robe came up to me and offered his hand. "Good evening. I'm Dr. Kim. Are you the patient's spouse?" 

"Husband, yes. How is he doing?" 

"Well, his ribs are bruised. And he had a hairline fracture on his skull. But his vital signs are stable and strong." 

"Is he still unconscious?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so. The patient has had a major contusion to his head. But his CT scan resulted fine, his brain activity is normal and he has no cerebral swelling. He will wake when he's ready. Just give him some time." 

"Whew!" Wookie exclaimed. Sweet relief lifted up the whole room. I felt my anxiety drop and I could breathe normal again. 

"When can we see him?" asked Sungmin. 

"We have just transferred him to a private room, but I'm afraid the visiting hours are over and only immediate family are allowed to stay over night. So family, the nurse here will take to you to the patient's room", explained Dr. Kim. 

We all turned around and found a petite female nurse smiling at us. 

Hyuk moved closer to me and asked, "Are you gonna be alright?"

I am thankful for all of them being here, but I was so glad Hyuk never left my side. He has been nothing but supportive all night. I think I would've lost my mind without his support. I nodded at him and gave him a smile. 

"We'll come back tomorrow", said Shindong-hyung. 

Then Wookie gave me a one-sided hug. "Take it easy, Wonnie." 

Sungmin did the same and said, "Get some rest." 

Kyuhyun came next and snickered at me. He's old self was back and was smiling again. "Yeah, and we'll get you fresh clothes tomorrow. You look like hell." 

All the guys laughed and I found myself smiling for the first time tonight. 

"We'll go ahead, Mrs. Lee. Have a good night", Manager-hyung bowed his to Mrs. Lee. 

"Yes. Thank you all for coming", she replied back. She appeared more composed than a while ago. But her eyes are still burdened with worry. 

Mario cleared his throat and quietly said, "I'll go ahead as well." 

I looked at him and gave him a single nod. 

The nurse led me, Mrs. Lee, and Donghwa to a room on the fourth floor. Then she pointed us to an opened door and said, "Right this way, please." 

My eyes instantly fell on Donghae who lay on a white bed. Half of his body was covered with a blanket, but I can see that he was now wearing a hospital gown. His old clothes folded neatly next to the desk. 

The nurse walked over to Hae and adjusted his bed. She then left the room before saying, "Just call us if you need anything." 

Mrs. Lee walked beside Donghae's bed and caresses his cheek. She sniffed quietly and watched Donghae sleep. Donghwa came next to her and rubbed hers shoulders. I figured to just stand behind them quietly and let them have a family moment. 

"He's going to be fine now, Omma. You heard what the doctor said", Donghwa said quietly. 

"I know… It's just that, I really can't handle looking at him like that", said Mrs. Lee. 

The three of us remained quiet until Donghwa's cell phone started ringing. He took it out from his pocket then checked on its screen. "Oh, I have to take this. Excuse me." He turned around to leave then pats my shoulder along the way. 

"Look at him… He looks so much like his father", Mrs. Lee told me when we were left alone. 

I walked over then stood beside her. Then she continued, "They both have the same peaceful aura. That's why I have never stayed mad with either of them for more than a day." 

"When he was young, he always came to his father whenever he's sad or when something's bothering him. They would talk for hours and then later on I would find them laughing already. After that, Donghae would always feel better", she continued. 

"But when his Appa passed away, Donghae seemed to grow more quiet. As if he kept everything inside of him and pretend that he's alright."

"I thought I would never see his smile again and that spark in his eyes. But you came in to his life and changed that, Siwon." She gave me a warm smile. "You brought him joy and all of us could see how happy you have made him these past few months."

"He does the same to me", I told Mrs. Lee while I watched Donghae's chest rise and fall with his steady breathing. 

"As a mother, I am more than happy to see someone like you love my son".

"Thank you. That means a lot hearing that from you. And I just want to say that I'm… I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have let this happen to Donghae. I never should've accused him of anything when he only loved me for me. I'm sorry, Mrs. Lee… I'm so so sorry… I promised you that I will take care of him but I failed… I did to this to him and I'm really sorry." I choked back my tears. 

She pulled me close to her and gave me a motherly hug. "No one's blaming you, Siwon. I'm sure none of us wanted this to happen to our Donghae." 

I looked at her, grateful for her kind-heartedness. I turned to Donghae again and said, " I just hope he forgives me after this."

She turned to Donghae as well and said, "He will, Siwon. I'm sure he will…" Then Donghwa came back into the room and said, "Omma, turns out I won't be able to spend the night. My boss called and told me about an investment coming down. I need to be there this morning." 

"Okay. You go along. I'm staying here", said Mrs. Lee. 

Donghwa scratched the back of his head. "Omma, it's almost dawn anyway. You need to take a proper rest. Besides, I'm not letting you sleep on that couch." 

"But your brother's---"

"Hae is going to be fine. Besides, Siwon is here. Siwon can call us right away if anything happens. Right, Siwon?"

I nodded. "Yes, he's right. You really should rest, Mrs. Lee." 

She looked carefully at Donghae, as if contemplating whether she should leave her son or not. I smiled and told her, "I'll take care of him, I promise." 

She smiled back and said, "Okay." She pats my cheek then walked towards the door. "Call us right away when he wakes up, alright?" 

"Keep an eye on my brother, will you, Siwon?" Donghwa said while he stood by the door. 

I gave him a two-finger salute and said, "Got it" 

"Alright." He waved goodbye then closed the door. 

I sighed to myself. Then turned back to stare at Donghae again. I pulled a chair from the desk and dragged it next to his bed. I sat down and carefully covered Hae's hand with both of mine. 

"We're all alone now…" I felt silly talking to someone unconscious. But I just made myself believe that while he is dreaming right now, he still could hear my voice. 

"How are you doing there, babe? The doctor said you vital signs are good, which means you don't need to stay in this hospital long". I put on a smile for him. "I'm so proud of you. You're being so strong… I really hope you wake up soon so I could get you a reward. What do you want this time? Mmm… A steak dinner?" I remembered that steak dinner we had on the night of our honeymoon. He really enjoyed that one.*

"Or… I could take you sailing down at our lake. That would be nice, right? Or if you want, we could go back to Acapulco? I know how much you loved that place." 

His hand felt warmer than before. But it still doesn't feel the same when he's not able to hold my hand back. 

I lowered my head and kissed the back of his hand. "I'm sorry for everything, my love", I whispered. "I was stupid. I should've believed you when you said you didn't do anything. I never should have hurt you. I'm so sorry…"  

I gazed at his handsome face and I ached to see that angelic smile of his. The shy smile he does when he gets uncomfortable, little did he know that it was my favourite. 

"When you wake up, I promise I would make up for all the things I've done wrong and for the times we've lost. We could do anything you want. Anything." I lifted his hand to my cheek. "We could go back to the times when we were happy together. All those beautiful moments we've shared, we will do them again and make some new ones. Just please… Please, wake up". 

Silence was the only response I got. I know he can't probably hear me, but I was in moment of desperation. 

I forced myself to keep going and thought of other things he would want to hear. "Remember… remember when I first took you to my old tree house? We had such a magical time up there right? And… and that time when we had that picnic at Bois De Vincennes at Paris, where you ate all the strawberries all by yourself." I found myself smiling again just picturing him savour that whole bag of strawberries. 

"I really miss that moment… Especially when you sang for me that one night we went to karaoke with the guys. That was the first time I realized how luck I am to have such an amazon person like you in my life. And I don't think I'll ever ever forget that moment." 

I rubbed his knuckles with my fingers. I dwelled upon on how he sang for me that night. He was acting playful and funny, he didn't even know how he made me feel that night. 

I felt myself tearing up but still I continued, "Do even remember what you sang for me?" I remember him looking at me with his warm brown eyes while serenading me with soothing voice. I want to make him feel the same. Make him feel loved like how he loves me. 

So I swallowed a lump on my throat and ignored the fact that what I'm about to do will seem very stupid. 

"Why do birds, suddenly appear… Every time… You are near… Just like me… They long to be… Close to you…" I sang each word to him as if he was looking into my eyes and smiling right at me. 

My voice cracked at the end. I was crying and I couldn't even stop it. My tears flowed continuously for him. It's how much I love him and how much I want him back. It's inevitable. 

I leaned closer and rested my head beside his thigh. I closed my eyes and sighed, knowing that he is with me physically but it feels like he's a thousand miles away. 

"I miss you so much, Donghae… Please come back. "

*PLEASE READ THE FIRST AND SECOND STORY FOR REFERENCES.