Siwon’s P.O.V.

A husband’s wrath 

The next day, I woke up feeling tired. Spent. Used. I was mentally and emotionally exhausted. The anger and pain I was bearing last night were gone. I tried digging up emotions from my heart but it was already empty. I was drained by everything that happened. And now I’m left cold and hollow.

I slowly opened my eyes and took in the harsh sunlight as gradually as I could. Ugh. That's too bright...

I shifted my head on the pillow then suddenly; a rush of severe headache hit me. I moved a hand to my forehead and massaged my temples. Damn it... I wish I hadn't drunk all those beers. 

Carefully, I turned to my side wanting to avoid the sun, then what I saw next to me almost made my heart jump out of my chest. My body tensed and my eyes widened to the sight of a strange girl sleeping beside me.  

I pushed myself up with my elbows to take a look at her, but her raven hair was sprawled out all over her face. I braved through my anxieties and lifted a finger to brush away her hair from her cheeks. 

I stared nervously at her sharp but delicate features. Her deep set eyes and narrow bridged nose showed that she's from a Hispanic descent. Who is this girl?

I squeezed my eyes shut and forced myself to remember what had happened last night. 

Then flashbacks came upon me... Donghae crying and pleading in front of me. Me speeding towards nowhere. Then vivid flashing lights. A long haired girl smiling darkly at me from afar. Suddenly, we were kissing inside my car...  in my room. Then everything went blank. 

I opened my eyes again, glanced at the girl beside then I sat straight up. Holy ... Did something after I passed out?! 

My sudden movement awoke her. She rolled on to her side and smiled lazily at me. 

"Good morning", she said in a scratchy low voice. 

"Who are you?" I said scowling to her playful smile. 

Then she giggled. "I knew you'd forget my name." 

I just watched her impatiently and waited for her to continue. I'm no mood for mind games. I had enough of that. 

She rolled her eyes then said, "My name's Claudia. We met at Club Eden last night, in case you also forgot. By the look on your face you seem like you don't remember anything at all. Or you just chose not to." 

It seems as if she read my thoughts... I exhaled heavily and said, "We didn't... do IT right?" I actually felt my cheeks burning up after I said those words. 

She finally sat up and smiled. "We wouldn't be wearing any clothes now if we did right?" 

She had a point. I'm still on the same jeans I was wearing last night and she was wearing a wrinkled red cocktail dress. I blew out a sigh of relief then gave her a nod. 

"We just made out a little, but that's it. You were too drunk to even undress yourself. So I removed your shirt for you because you were totally sweating like a pig and smelled disgusting." 

I ran a hand through my hair out of frustration. I never thought I would have to be undressed by a stranger because of being too drunk. Then I wondered, "If we didn't do anything then why did you sleep here?" 

She simply shrugged in reply and said, "I was so tired and dizzy and I don't have a ride. You don't mind do ya?" 

"Errr... No. But honestly... I think you should go. I can ask the concierge to get you a cab." I didn't want to be rude. I mean, she kind of took care of me last night. But I know it ain't a good idea to let her stay here. 

She sighed. "Oh, fine..." She got up from the bed then walked over to the small couch to pick up her purse and shoes. 

I looked away and let Claudia fix herself in her compact mirror until she stood up. Her red-colored lips parted into a grin and she said, "Well, I guess I gotta head off now. Thanks for the night. I still had a good one." 

She walked up to me then leaned forward to kiss me, but I backed off and shot her a warning look. She rolled her eyes and giggled. "So long, stranger." 

She went back on to her heels and finally walked out. 

I let myself collapse back to the bed when Claudia got out of the room. I closed my eyes and tried to compose myself. Then out of nowhere, I started hearing Hae's voice in my mind. 

I can't totally hear what he's saying, but it seems that he is a little pissed off. I tried my shaking him off of my head but his voice wasn't going away. I sat up again and that's when I realize that I wasn't just imagining him, I could actually hear his voice. 

I got up from right away and practically ran to the door. I slowly opened it and peeked out to see Donghae arguing opposite to Claudia. 

"Well, I'm his husband!" he exclaimed loudly. 

"Husband?!" Claudia responded in somewhat a disgusted voice. "You've got to be kidding me." 

"Hell no. I am dead serious." Donghae sneered back at her. 

"Well, I should feel bad for him then. He's a gorgeous piece of meat and it's a pity he got tied up with someone as pathetic as you." 

Hae dropped his jaws at Claudia's words and prepared to strike back. "Look, ---" 

Before Hae got to say whatever insult he has, I stepped out of the room and in a cold tone I said, "That's enough."  

Hae and I immediately went eye to eye. I stared at him with a stern expression while he gaped back at me. His eyes were filled with overwhelming emotions and I was instantly drawn into them. They were sad, hurt, and shocked, but most of all, tired. He was evidently been crying the entire night. If I could, I would stare into them all day. It's like I'm looking directly through his soul... 

Then as when I was starting to think how beautiful this man was, the reason why I left him dawned on me again. So I drifted my head away to face Claudia. "I thought I asked you to leave just a minute ago." 

She glared at me before she started saying, "I was just about to, then this---" 

"Just go. Now." I dismissed her grimly.

She rolled her eyes on me again then flipped her hair. "Fine. Whatever. You two deserve each other."  Claudia stormed through the hallway then was out of the apartment for good. 

"Who the hell was that, Siwon?!" 

I turned my head back to Donghae and glowered at him. "What are you doing here?" 

"Did you sleep with her?!"

I let out deep breath and said, "Why do you care?" 

My question went as a stun to him, as if I just asked him why he's still alive. He struggled to find the words before he finally answered, "I'm... I'm your husband, Siwon." 

I let out an annoyed laugh and took a step closer to him. I lowered myself so we were face to face. "Don't you dare nag me about being a husband. You're the one who doesn't know how to act like one. You know what, I'm not sure if you even know the idea of marriage at all. That's why you threw ours just like that!" I was breathing heavily, trying to contain my rising anger. 

"That's not true! I never wanted to harm our marriage. I never wanted to hurt you Siwon", he said as tears started rolling on his cheeks. 

"Oh yeah? What were you thinking then when you fooled around with that Mario guy? Didn't you think that I was not going to get hurt at all?!" 

"I did not fool around with anybody, Siwon." He shook his lightly. "You don't know what happened." 

"You're right. I don't know a lot of things, actually. I don't know how you managed to cheat on me again. I don't know what you saw in him and I sure don't know if you ever loved me at all..." My voice cracked at the end. I had these doubts since last night, but saying them out loud hurt even worse. I felt myself starting to cry. 

"Of course! Of course, I loved you Siwon! I still do! And I will until the last second of my last breath. If you... If you would just let me explain, you will---" 

"I don't want to hear it, Donghae. I'm done with you." I stood up straight then looked away. "Now, I'd appreciate it if you just leave." 

"Siwon, please..." 

I sighed then turned my back at him. I started walking to kitchen and said, "Lock the door after you." 

"Give me another chance, Siwon. Please..." 

I ignored and continued walking. He followed me right away then all of a sudden he had me in an embrace. He wrapped both of his arms around me and hugged me from behind. He nestled his cheek on my back and again, he whispered, "Please. Give me another chance. Please, Siwon..." 

I felt his tears wetting the back of my shirt. His arms squeezing my body a little too hard. Like a child clinging on and not wanting to let go. 

The warmth of his body sent this unexplainable sensation to me and it gave me a feel of familiarity and belongingness. I know I should break away from him. But I can't. And I don't want to. I want him to stay there. Holding on to me like I had always wanted him to. 

And from there, I let my heart take over my mind and decided to do what it desires. 

I grasped both his hands and pulled them away from me. I turned to him again and pushed him hard against the wall. 

He was clearly caught off guard and didn't have time to restrain. I held his face and went for his lips. 

I gave him long and rigid kisses, as if it's the last I'll ever do. I poured all my emotions while our tongues wrestled inside our mouths. 

Slowly, his hands moved to my waist and caressed me. While I, took it as a signal to keep going.

I pressed my body closer to him. Then he moaned quietly as the growing bulge in my pants touched his. 

We kissed as passionate as we did before only this time we are a lot wilder. Like I was punishing with my fierce and hungry lips. 

He ran his hands to my bare chest down to my stomach and I knew then what would come next. So before we get too far, I pulled away from him then grabbed his wrists. "Stop." 

He looked at me, bewildered, trying to figure what went wrong. Our eyes remained glued to each other and we just stood there without saying a word. The only noise was coming from us as we were both trying to catch out breaths. 

I relaxed myself and stepped back. "I think you should leave." 

He looked confused then he opened his mouth and said my name in protest, "Siwon..." 

"Just go, Donghae." I turned around and headed back to my room before he succeeds on tempting me again. 

Before I got to the door, he spoke again and said, "I love you, Siwon." I froze, with my back facing him. I closed my eyes to the pain and pleasure I felt from hearing those words from him. It’s like a symphony of joy at the same time a reminder of all his lies.

He continued, "I married you because I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I will not give up until you forgive me and look me in the eye again and say you love me." 

I swallowed a lump on my throat and sighed heavily. I opened the door to my room, went inside and left Hae standing alone in the hallway.

I shut the door hard and leaned my back on it. I put my head down then the tears I was holding streamed down on my face. If it wasn't for the pain I am feeling, I would just forget all of this. I would have held him in my arms again and say I'll never let go. I would have to kissed him and make him mine again. And just like what he said, I would have looked him in the eye and whisper the words, "I love you too, Donghae..." 

I was staring into nothing and thinking at the balcony when Manager-hyung called up. He asked me to come down at SMent to talk about something. I thought it'll just be about how my drama was doing and things like that. So I got in the shower right away and got ready. 

I wore a white button down shirt with dark jeans and drove downtown. And when I got to SMent, I went straight to Manager-hyung's private office without stopping to greet anybody who was giving me weird looks. As if they were seeing me for the first time. 

I knocked twice before I let myself in. Hyung was on his desk reading his morning paper when I entered, then he heard me and placed it down in front of him. "Siwonnie. Have a seat, please" 

I sat on the chair across his desk and said, "What is it, Hyung?" 

He looked at me with in a serious manner and cleared his throat. "Siwon, do you wish to tell me anything?"

I watched him with a firm expression and answered, "No, Hyung." 

Hyung sighed then sat straight. "There are rumors going around right now about a scandal that happened last night at Donghae's place. I heard you were a part of it, Siwon." 

I looked down at my hands and kept my silence. 

"Tell me what happened, Siwon. Maybe I can help." He went on when I didn't respond. "Are you and Donghae experiencing some troubles?" 

I exhaled and quietly said, "I'm sorry, Hyung, but I don't really feel like talking about it right now." 

Hyung stood up then started walking slowly around his desk to the chair in front of me. "You know Siwon, marriage is a tough thing. You and Donghae are both young and you are entitled to make mistakes. You will fall down but you'll always find a way to crawl back into each other. That's love." He sat down and I looked up to face him. "No matter how much you fight or yell at each other, your love will always put you together... Isn't that why you married Donghae?" 

I frowned. "What do you mean?" 

"You love Donghae right? And you want to be with him for the rest of your life?" 

"Yes, Hyung." 

He pointed a finger at me and said, "Then fight for your marriage! Fight for Donghae." I bowed my head and felt like I was being preached by my Dad. "You are not a loser, Siwon. You are not the type to give up on something you really want, and this is not the time to do such a thing." 

I stayed quiet. I thought of all the dreams I had of with Donghae. I envisioned building a big family with him and raise our own children. I want to travel the world with him and take him to all the most beautiful places in the world. I want to buy a nice rest house far away from city and live there when we retire and get old. I want to be with him in every second of my life. I never wanted him to go. But after what he did to me, I can't help but hesitate if I'll ever learn to trust him again... If I'll ever learn to forget everything that happened...

I am torn between my love for Donghae and my pride. My mind is in crisis and I don't know what to do. I know I need to think things through and act up on it fast, before everything goes way out of hand. 

I collected my thoughts then stood up. "Thanks, Hyung. But I need to go." 

I walked towards the door and before I got to leave, Hyung paused and said, "Think about what I said, Siwon." 

I just sighed then gave him a nod. 

Then I was making my way down to lobby when I heard Eunhyuk's voice calling my name. 

I stopped and turned around. He was catching up on me, running while carrying his blue duffel bag. He was wearing sweatpants and a plain shirt showing that he just came from a practice. 

When he finally reached me, he gave a sad look and said, "I heard what happened, Siwon." 

I slightly shook my head and looked away. 

"You guys are better than this! Don't just throw your marriage out the window, Siwon." 

I faced him back and snapped, "If you're just going to give me lectures about love and marriage, Hyuk, then just save it. I've had enough for today". 

I started walking away then he went on, "Just go easy on Hae. He never meant to hurt you." 

I looked back and stopped. I realized something and glowered at him in disbelief. "You knew. You knew and you never told me?!" 

He shifted awkwardly on his position. Probably ashamed of himself. "Yes", he said and appeared beaten. "But I wasn't in the position to tell you, Siwon." 

"But I'm your friend!" I said louder than I intended. 

"I just didn’t want to get in between you guys again." 

I darted a finger at him. "You are just like them, Hyuk. You made fool out of me."

I paced through the lobby then Hyuk ran up to me and caught my arm. "Wait up, Siwon!" 

"What?! Are you going tell me how this is all my fault? And how I should run after him?" 

"Siwon, I just think that you should give Hae another chance. He loves you more than you know." 

I turned my face away to hide the tears swelling up in my eyes. 

"You may be angry now, but soon you'll realize how much you love him, Siwon.” 

I looked at him and a tear escaped from my eye. "I just... I just don't know what do or say anymore. I... I can't look at him without remembering what he did to me." 

"I know, I know... And I don't blame you, Siwon. But I just hope you find that space in your heart for forgiveness." 

"I love him, Hyukkie... You know I do... But I can't... I don't know how to fight for him when he's the one who drove me away in the first place." 

"I'm on your side, Siwon. We all are. Take for Donghae back before somebody steals him completely away from you".

"Never... I don't want to lose him, Hyuk”.

"I know. That's why you should work together to fix this problem." 

"What should I do?" I cried as I asked my friend for help. I need Donghae in my life. I need to find a way to keep him there.

"Call him. Call him and say you want to talk about this... Tell him you're willing to hear what he has to say." 

I nodded slowly and said, "Okay, I will." 

He came closer and hugged me. He gave me a brotherly pat on the back and said, "You can do this, man. I know you can."

I cooled myself down and exhaled deeply. "Thanks, Hyuk." 

He wished me luck then we parted ways. He went back to lounging area and I walked back to my car. I got inside and wasted no time. I pulled my phone out my pocket and immediately called Donghae. 

The phone rang for a couple of seconds before a very surprised Donghae answered. "Siwon?!" 

I took a deep breath. "Yes, it's me." 

"Siwon, about what happened earlier. I know I crossed the line. I shouldn't have pushed myself to you. I'm---"

 "Let's meet tonight. At CasAntonio. Let's talk about... our situation."

"Omo! Really?! Oh god, Siwon. Yes! I'll be there and I promise I won't be late." He sounded like his old self again. Excited and cheerful like a kid. It was nice hearing it but I stopped myself before falling to his charm.

I was already going to hang up when he said my name again. Only softer this time. "Siwon?" 

"Yes?" I answered coldly.  

"I love you." 

I closed eyes. I was speechless as I cherished those three beautiful words again. “Hello?” he said and broke off the silence.

I opened my eyes again and cleared my throat before I said, "I'll... see you tonight." Then I hanged up.

I stayed in the car for a moment and thought about tonight. I know that this is what I really want to do. But something inside me feels wrong. I want Hae back, but I know in my heart that I still haven't forgiven him. I am still hurt. And now, all I want is to make him feel the pain he brought me. I need to teach him a lesson first before accepting him back. I need to let him know that I still haven't and will never forget what he did. 

I picked up my phone once more and dialed Yong Suk's number. He answered in a heartbeat in his usual vigilant voice. "Mr. Siwon." 

 "I have yet another favor for you, Yong Suk."  

"Yes, Mr. Siwon. Anything. What is it?"

"I need you to find and pick up a friend for me..."

I'm done playing good. It's time for me to get my revenge... It's time to make some people pay and see them squirm. 

At around 7p.m., I arrived at CasAntonio. The sophisticated restaurant looked grand and neat. And all their guests were dressed properly and stylish. I was wearing a white shirt with a black blazer and paired with a nice pair of jeans.

There were no sign of Donghae yet when I got there so I decided to order a glass of wine first.

Then about 15 minutes later, he finally appeared in the entrance wearing a black cardigan over a striped shirt and dark pants. He walked towards the table with an easy smile on his face. But it soon faded away as he got nearer. "Why are there three chairs? Is somebody else coming?" 

I simply answered, "Yes." 

He wondered and probably thought of Eunhyuk or one of our friends. "Who?" 

"It's a surprise." I flashed him a smile. 

His face changed with confusion to my unexpected amusement towards him. I couldn't help it. Once again, I feel like I'm in control. Just the way I like it.

He opened his mouth and uttered, "Siwon, before anything else, I just want to say that---"

I cut him short and exclaimed, "Oh, there he is! Just in time." 

Hae shifted his head towards the door and saw Yong Suk in his suit showing a baffled Mario towards our table. Heads all over the restaurant turned as he entered wearing a black T-shirt and a pair of dirty-looking jeans. I felt smug watching Mario walk pass lookers noticeably feeling embarrassed.  

Then I drifted my attention back to Hae as he gasped in horror and he whispered, "Oh my god."