[I'm kinda losing my interest in this story now...do you feel the same way? Any ideas you wanna share about what should happen next?? hmphhh i don't even know...why am I even trying to write anyway....don't mind my babbling, sorry]

{thanks for reading btw}

(Onew’s p.o.v)

After crying for a while, Tae fell asleep on my arms. I just sat there, looking at his perfect features, trying to burn every aspect of his face on my brain. I wanted to trace his puffy cheeks with my thumb, but fearing to waking him up I restrained myself. I slowly put him down on the sofa and got up. If both of us stayed in a slump, who’d take care of Tae? I needed to be strong for him and that’s exactly what I planned to do.

After putting a blanket around him and a pillow under his head, I headed to the bathroom and ran a bath for myself. During the bath, I made up a plan to how to cheer Tae up. First of all I’d need to go to his parents, letting them know that Tae will be staying with me for a while. This was nothing new any, so I don’t think they will suspect anything. As next door neighbours we’ve been staying over at each other’s all the time anyway.

Secondly, I needed to keep him busy so that he wouldn’t even have time to think about that slimy coward anymore.

Thirdly, well…thirdly I’d have to paste a fake smile on my face from the minute he wakes up and not letting him cry either.

After the bath I decided to make breakfast for us. I’ve read somewhere that comfort food is the best for forgetting rejection and stuff and there was nothing more comforting than pancakes and syrup with banana flavoured ice-cream, right?

I was bustling around the kitchen. Flour covered every bit of the surface in the room and me; at the corner it looked as if something exploded (well it kinda did…I forgot to close the lid of the food mixer…yeah not a good idea). Something alien and brown was cooking on the stove. I was so busy with the feat of cooking that I didn’t notice the slight frame that slowly leaned against the door.

‘Hyung what are you doing?’ his soft voice made me jump, the plate of pancake mix on my hand flying away from my grasp, landing on the floor. I turned around to shoot a goofy smile at a dazed looking Taemin.

‘Nothing….just cooking you know….’ I smiled at him, even though my heart wanted to do the other after seeing his tear stained face.

‘Errmm..okay…’ he slowly walked away.

My heart sank. Ususally when he saw me struggling to cook, he’d laugh and make jokes about how I should stick with take outs and microwaveable food. He’d always push me out of the kitchen and make the meal himself.

So, plan one to make him smile or even just to make him lively again failed as did my tries to cook us breakfast. Defeated, I decided that Cereal and banana milk would be better.

I found Taemin sitting on the same sofa with a faraway look on his face. I sighed and pasted the fake smile again, waddling down to him, with a tray filled with our breakfasts on my hand.

‘Yah Taemin, stop looking like a zombie and eat…’ I nudged him with my elbow as I sat down next to him, leaving the tray on the table in front of us.

He didn’t move. He didn’t even show any recognition that I sat down next to him.

‘Oh so you want to be fed by the Dubu Jinki? All you had to do was ask.’ I joked and picked up his cereal bowl. I held a spoonful of it millimetres away from his lips.

No reaction.

I nudged his lips with the tip of the spoon.

Still no reaction.

I sighed and put the bowl down.

‘So, what? You’re not even gonna eat anything? You want to die from starvation? Like that would make any difference! Don’t you wanna get him back for what he did? If you die, how would you get your revenge? Or are you too weak to fight back. Or wait don’t you even have pride?’ I deliberately tried to make him angry, and succeeded.

Tae’s expressionless face started to transform. He looked at me with an alien expression and said,

‘You know what hyung…you’re right. I don’t have any pride. He crushed every bit of my pride last night. I have nothing left anymore…nothing at all….’

That infuriated me. He had nothing? So what was I? I was nothing to him?

Before I could control it, my voice shouted back,

‘You have nothing? So I am nothing to you? All these years we’ve been together and along comes that stupid Minho and all of a sudden he’s the centre of your life and we mean nothing? Forget about me..I might not be important to you but what about your parents? Huh? Are they nothing to you either?’ I took a deep breath and got up from the sofa not being able to look at him anymore. It hurt. It hurt like hell to know that I absolutely meant nothing to him.

‘Look Taemin, it’s your life. Do whatever with it….why should I care anyway? I just wanted to help my best friend but clearly he’s not here anymore….’ I walked away from him after that. Running up the stairs I slammed the door shut when I reached the room.

The moment I closed the door, I slid down to the floor and let my tears fall. They were restricted for a long time and it was time I let them fall. I brought my knees to my chest and hid my head on them, and cried.