|017|

I don’t have a lot of memories of my father – and I don’t really remember much about him either.

But I remember one night, when father came home, I heard how he yelled at mother, cussing her for being a bad luck in his life and for being the person who destroyed his life. Then, I heard the terrifying sound of shattering glasses breaking on the floor. I hid myself under my bed, shut my eyes and cupped my ears with both of my hands.

The door was slammed shut a few while later. I guess father had stormed out from our house in rage, like he always did almost every night. Mother then came looking for me at my room, crying and hugging me tightly in her arms. I was too young to understand, but I wasn’t stupid to understand tears.

My nightmare was my own father, and as much as hate is a strong word, I do, however hate him.

<<>> 

It was a quarter past nine in the night, when I received a phone call from Changsub. He asked me to meet him at the little abandon playground, which was somewhere near the neighborhood I lived in Seoul. After nearly twenty minutes of a taxi ride, I finally reached the place and from afar, I could see him sitting all alone on the rusty swing, with a can of soda in his hand, and a few cans of soda left unopened, lying on the ground.

I tugged my lips with a smile, shoved my hands into my pocket as I walked along the path, whistling and reminiscing some old childhood memories that lingered in the corner of my mind. The playground looked solemn and quiet, but the stars in the sky still shone brightly, giving it a tinge of life in its solitary.

“Hey, Hoya-yaho-hoya-yaho.” Changsub greeted me with a smirk as he caught me walking with my somewhat slow steps approaching him. I could feel the cold breeze wafting passed me, with each of my step.

As I reached the vacant swing beside him, I settled myself on the seat, grabbed a can of soda from the ground, and pushed the cap of the can inside to open it as I gulped it down to clear my thirst. Then, I looked up the dark sky, and breathed in the air of the night.

When I glanced over at Changsub, he threw me a knowing look, “Hey, let’s count the stars.” He suggested to me, as he lifted his head up and fixed his gazes up to the sky.

I chuckled at his suggestion, and furrowed my eyebrow. “What would the winner get?”

“A wish.”

“A wish for anything?”

He only nodded in return, as his eyes were still fixed on the distant stars, that somehow looked so close and yet so far. I guess, that’s the beauty of stars – it gives you the opportunity to dream big and believe that your dreams are reachable, no matter how much of a crap it sounds sometimes.

Silence fell between us for a moment as we could both hear the sound of our heavy breathing wafting through the creaking night.

“Hoya-ah?” Finally, he broke the dead silence first, as he muttered, slightly above a whisper to me, who was trying to count the stars, but sadly I was too distracted with the soda to do so.

“Yes?”

“Do you still remember my dream that I’ve told you before?”

“Umm,” I pondered for a while, massaging my temple, “That dream of wanting to travel around the world and help people in needs?”

He chuckled at my reply, and then curved a smile. He gazed at a distant, before staring solemnly at his can of drink, and downed in the last gulp of it in one go, before putting it down on the ground. “I’m leaving Korea in three days.”

I gawked at him in confusion, “What?”

“I’m going to Africa for a volunteering program.”

I paused and widened my eyes in disbelief, “For how long?”

“Three months or more. I have no idea.”

“Does Bomi know about this?”

“Nope, not yet.” He lifted his head up again, as he sighed slowly and stared at the vast, clear night sky above us, and resumed, “Hey, I’ve got about a hundred stars in my sight, does that make me the winner of this bet?”

“Changsub-”

“Hoya-” Changsub cut me off, snapping me out of my trance.

“Promise me that you would take a good care of Bomi as much as you do with your mother, be her happiness when she loses her smiles and be the one who wipes her tears when she needs one,"

I didn't reply him, as I only stared at him hard, with a muddle expression spread on my entire face.

He looked me in the eye, "And promise me, she won't fall in love with other guys while I'm away,"

I think I held my breath for a second at his one last remark.

"That's my wish, Hoya. Would you promise me that you would do so?"

<<>> 

That one boy who wore an oversized orange shirt with a pair of oversized baggy jeans looked as hideous as he could, that one boy who shared his helicopter toy with me when no one else did and that one boy who saved my life had the biggest heart of all – and that one boy was meant to be my brother for life.

Lee Changsub? Who and what would I be without you? You should know that sometimes, your kindness is a nuisance to the people you loved, although it gives beams of hopes to people in needs.

<<>> 

It was the day that Changsub would be going to leave Korea for his three-months of volunteering program at Africa. I asked for Nicole’s help to fill in for me at the office, while I took some time off to bid Changsub a proper goodbye. It was an afternoon and as usual, the airport was somehow crowded with countless strangers, with their passports grasped tightly in their hands, and perhaps their mind already wandered off at their destinations.

I stood alone, leaning myself against the wall, keeping some safe distance from the lovebirds, Changsub and Bomi who sat side by side at the benches nearby. They both seemed absorbed in their own little worlds, spending their less than half an hour more time with each other, before his flight to a far, far away country. With a reusable cup of cappucino in my hand, I sipped my drink through a straw and threw my gaze to anywhere but them. Sometimes I would distract myself by making up a story for each passer-by, and at times, I would play a staring game at some random kids who would stop by in front of me and childishly, sticking their tongue out at me. Random kids are random.

It was only when the last boarding announcement was made, that I decided to approach Changsub and Bomi. I noticed how Changsub was being all calm despite he knew for the fact that he would be leaving the country for quite a period of time and I was even more surprised by the fact that Bomi seemed like she was okay with it too – or perhaps, she had been building her walls, and trying hard not to break down in front of him.

“Goodbye Yoon Bbom,” he muttered to her, holding her hands firmly in his. Their gazes were locked on each other, almost in a very loving way.

“Goodbye Lee Subsub-oppa,”

“I love you,”

“I love you too,”

With that, he kissed her forehead and leaned in closer to meet her gentle lips. He hugged her tightly in her arms for one last time – as I darted my eyes away at that sight, trying to purge the selfish tug of my heartstrings.

I shouldn't feel this way.

His flight took off almost thirty minutes afterwards, and both Bomi and I watched how the plane accelerated and took off from the runway ground as it flew high up into the shriveling wind, in a forlorn silence. The plane continue to fly high leaving some white trails behind it in the sky, and somehow, I think it left some paper hearts bruised too. 

When I glanced at her, I swore I could've seen a single tear rolled down on her cheek, as she quickly tried to wipe it away with the back of her hand.

<<>> 

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” I asked, voicing out my concern for her, as I walked her to her flower shop, after the taxi dropped us off, right across the street.

“I’m fine,”

She said she was fine, but for some reasons, I didn’t believe any of her words. She had been noticeably quiet ever since the drive back to the flower shop, and even when I tried to strike a conversation with her, she would only reply at my questions, weakly.

I studied the trace of her dismal face and observed her quietly, as she took out her shop’s keys hastily from her purse, and fumbled around, trying to insert one of the many skeleton keys into the warded lock of the entrance door, but she failed, even at her third attempt.

“Why is this key not working-”

She kept on forcing the key into the keyhole; twisting it and trying to open the lock, but it was a struggle for her to do so, even as simple as it was. I noticed how she became panicky all of the sudden too.

“Hey, calm down Bbom,”

“It’s not working!” She tried to insert another key again; however, the bunch of keys slipped off from her hand this time and it hit the ground, right next to her feet, as her purse abruptly collapsed in front of her. “Stupid, stupid!” She cried out helplessly.

“Hey, Bbom-”

Before she could crouch down to take the keys, I grabbed her wrist and turned her to face me instead, “Bbom? Calm down, okay?”

She pursed her lips tightly, her voice was slightly breaking and I could clearly see the visible tears swelled up in her wilthered eyes, “Hoya-oppa? I’m just really, really sad-”

“I know,”

“I hate Changsub-oppa for doing this to me,”

She fell apart to pieces on that very moment, that very time.

I only nodded, as I pulled her closer to my chest, letting her warm tears soaked my shirt. She cried and cried, burying her face in my chest as I whispered softly, trying to calm her down.

“I'm here, and everything’s going to be fine, Bbom.”

I feel like the quality is decreasing as i'm starting to lose my inspirations :| changsubsub you should teach me how to skate okay bb <3

eternalove5 i don't have to say it, do i? lol iloveyou too sobbs ;~;

kirakirashahida hahaha i cried at your comment /throwsflowers/

kiwiyu and i'm going to save you with this update ^^

Pistachio i'm kinda liking nicole in this fic :D

CisumAmethyst d'aww thank you :) no worries, i'll be putting lots of homi from time to time ^^

pinkiepromise hahaha yknw hoya definitely needed an umbrella XD