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How do you resist what your heart wants?

How do you tell your heart to stop what it feels?

How do, how do, how do you?

If only feelings could be solved through complicated mathematical equations, then perhaps every little thing in the world could be as simple as ABC. Life would then only have a single path with a single conclusion.

But unfortunately, life that starts at A would always end at Z, though the ending is not always a happy ever after.

<<>> 

“Hey, photocopy this for another ten sets?” said the senior, Kim Sunggyu to me as he handed me a stack of papers. I looked at the whopping amount of it, and then I gawked at the senior who had a straight face, not even feeling guilty about it. I cussed quietly inside, and faked a force smile. I think I had been stupidly doing this, since forever.

I was at the office’s small, photocopy room, and I had been photocopying pieces of papers with information that I didn’t even understand, ever since I was hired by the firm. Hey, I thought I was hired as an architect, and not as an office boy?

“By the way, the CEOs are going to have a meeting at one o’clock at the conference room. Just in case if you had forgotten, it’s your turn this week, to bring them coffees.” He informed me, as I fumbled around trying to load and fit the papers to the paper tray of the machine. It was funny how the machine decided not to get along with me, practically ever since the first day.

“And another thing, don’t forget to call our client to confirm them about the payments, alright?” He said to me again, in a firm tone, as he shoved both of his hands into his pocket. I only nodded in return, as I bit my lips in annoyance.

He was about to walk out from the room, when I decided to vent out my building frustration, which was kept inside for days.

“Sunggyu-senior,” I called him, as he abruptly halted on his steps.

He narrowed his already small looking eyes. “Did anything that I said aren’t clear enough?”

I paused a bit, hesitating, but then I cleared my throat as I gathered my courage to continue, “Umm, when can I actually start to follow you to houses and sketch my design? I didn’t get myself in this to do these kinds of things.”

He only scoffed, and shook his head, as he clicked his tongue at my remark.

“Don't you know that you should start everything from scratch, in order to succeed?”

<<>> 

I tore the last packet of the instant coffee and poured the powder into one of the lasts, few white mugs I placed on the tray at the table, near the water dispenser. With a slight push of the dispenser button, I filled each mug with a fitting amount of water, and stirred the coffee until the coffee powder was dissolved, and the mixture became still.

If starting my architecture career meant that I have to make coffees for people, then maybe I should start to get used of it, I think or shall I say, I reassured myself.

I was still stirring the coffee when Nicole entered the room, with her bouncy steps and a slight grin on her face. She sat on a desk comfortably, and freely dangled her foot in the air, as she smiled sheepishly at me. Her smile made the skin around her eyes crinkled in a cute way, well if that actually made sense.

“You know, if the senior catches you sitting on a desk, he would be flipping out.” I warned her, as I glanced at her, who was still smiling sheepishly at me.

She only giggled in return, and I shook my head, being amused at her peculiar behavior sometimes.

“Lee Howon.” She mumbled my name, out of a sudden. I threw a questioning look at her – but she only shrugged her shoulders and grinned.

“What, Nicole Jung?”

“Hmm, nothing.”

I shook my head, grinned, and continued to stir the last mug of coffee I had on the tray. After I let it rest for a couple of minutes, and let the drinks to cool off, I then should be able to send the coffees to the conference room for the CEOs meeting.

“Lee Howon.” She called my name again.

I raised my eyebrow this time. Sometimes, I found it rather hard to understand that puzzling side of Nicole.

“What, what?”

“Did you forget what you had promised me?”

<<>> 

Nicole Jung was one fascinating, yet one mysterious character to me. She is fun to be around with, she’s persistent, creative and she knows exactly what she wants.

But, Nicole is Nicole, and Bomi is Bomi. How would you compare that? I couldn’t.

I took her out for a dinner, as I’ve had promised her from days ago. I guess, I was too engrossed in the office works or maybe, just maybe, I tried to keep myself busy to distract myself from that tiny little wound that I refused to acknowledge. Perhaps, I tried to forget so hard - that I might have left out some things enveloped in some corner of my mind.  

We settled down at a table in somewhat a fancy, Italian restaurant that Nicole suggested to me, and after a while of contemplating on what to eat, I decided to let Nicole choose the meals of her choice, instead. As I read through the menu, I couldn’t understand it, and none of the title of the dishes, made that much of sense to me. It was written in mostly Italian, and since my empty stomach couldn’t be bother with it – all I wanted was to eat, and that was it.

It was only after the waiter in his bowtie left our table that we both resumed with our conversation.

“Can I ask you something?” She said to me, as she rested her crossed arms on the table.

“Sure.”

“Did someone special give you that purple necktie?” She asked, as she pointed her index finger to my necktie. I glanced down to look at it, and somehow my lips curled upwards.

“What makes you think that?”

She chuckled and explained, “Well, it’s just that you have been wearing that to the office for the past week.” She paused for a bit, before continued, “A guy wouldn’t be wearing an item so often, if it doesn’t mean that much to them.”

I guess, Nicole was right.

<<>> 

The dinner went pretty well, the food was great and the Italian music that echoed throughout the restaurant made it an enjoyable night for everyone. I think Nicole had so much of fun on that particular night too. She seemed really excited, talking about almost everything and she taught me how to cook some Italian dishes too, well not literally, only with her words. I also noticed how her smiles never seemed to leave her. Her eye-smiles were sparkling, as much as the chandelier light on our table.

Of course, I did enjoy the dinner too – albeit at times, I did admit that my mind would waver here and there, thinking of a person, that I shouldn’t be thinking.

We both walked out together from the restaurant, and walked a bit, as the silence of the night accompanied us until we reached an intersection. I raised my hand and signaled a taxi that was passing through the road. The taxi stopped exactly in front of us and since, Nicole and I had different destinations, I let her took the taxi first, so she could reach her home safely and earlier. We stood a bit on the sidewalk to bid our goodbye.

“Hey, I had a good time. Thanks for the treat.” She said to me, as she broke into giggles, and tiptoed a little.

“Nahh, it’s nothing. But hey, I had a good time too Nicole.”

“Well, I’m glad you did. At least – it gets your mind off her for a while, didn’t it?” She chuckled at her own remark, before she whirled herself around and turn to face me back. Peculiar Nicole is peculiar.

I didn’t reply at that, as I only smiled in return, shoving my hands into the pocket of my pants.

“But, hey good night.” She simply said.

“Good night too Nicole.”

Just when I thought that she was going to enter the taxi, she gave me a little surprise instead. Nicole swiftly turned her back around, and she decided to hug me – with both of her arms wrapping around my upper waist, and with her head lay softly on my shoulder. I was literally dumb-founded, as my face scrunched up in confusion and I didn’t quite know what to do. So, I only patted her shoulder in return, awkwardly.

I think she hugged me for about five seconds with no words escaped from , as the warmth engulfed both of us from the shivering wind at night. When she finally let her arms unwrapped around mine, she lifted her gazes into my eyes for a second, and burst out into giggles when she saw the trace of confusion spreading on my entire face.

"Hey, that's how we bid farewells in California. It's called the American style." She explained to me, justifying her sudden action. "It's not that I like you or anything."

I scratched my forehead and chuckled awkwardly, "Ahh, so that's how American people do it."

"Get over yourself, Lee Howon." She replied, with a grin. "Anyways, good night again. See you tomorrow at the office."

She whirled around once more, before she entered the taxi, as she unrolled the taxi's window and waved at me for one last time before I watched them retreated into the hollow of night.

Everything was perfectly fine on that night - until I received a phone call from Changsub. 

as much as i love homi, my hocole feels is raging these days ~

eternalove5 my heart sank too sobbss :| but how do you love persistent nicole? lol XD

CisumAmethyst nicole is mysterious isn't she? :p

dinobunny hey guess what? i do that sometimes too haha XD

Pistachio i yawned for a hundred times when i wrote that lol :D