Chapter Eleven – “I can’t do it anymore.”

[1809 words – 12.10.14]

He knew that the last two weeks would be really hard for him, as he still have to do all the training, practices, and recording while hiding his illness from everyone, when he knew that he was getting even weaker; if that’s still possible. The fact that he was not a good liar was not helping at all.

“You look pale, hyung.”

There was Dongwoo who always noticed and voiced it out whenever he found something’s wrong from Sunggyu, and Sunggyu felt bad the most for Dongwoo, since he always believed in Sunggyu, and yet he was lying.

“I just need…bathroom,” Sunggyu said awkwardly, patting his stomach. “The bulgogi was too spicy,” he said again, and that earning a burst of laughter from Dongwoo who quickly shut himself up as the manager glared at him.

They were currently at the recording room, recording for their newest Japanese album, since they’re indeed in Japan, which make it harder for Sunggyu to visit the hospital.

“Go, go, go, hyung! It’s not good to keep those inside,” Dongwoo said, playfully hitting Sunggyu’s thigh.

Sunggyu just shot an embarrassed glare to Dongwoo before he stood up and left the recording room, taking a last glance to Myungsoo who was recording his part at that moment. And he closed the door, sighing heavily. Maybe he did need a bathroom after all.

And the intention of using the bathroom was quickly changed when he entered the dim-lighted room. He felt the burning feel on his throat and the suffocating sensation, the attack. “Damn…why now?” he gasped for air as he leaned onto the sink, gropping on his jacket to grab a tube full of white pills from his pocket, gulping one with his trembling hand.

That was not helping at all as he started to cough madly, vomiting the pill he just swallowed into the sink bowl. The tears started to well up on his eyes, and he dropped down onto the floor, breathing heavily.

“Oh my God, hyung, Are you alright?”

Sunggyu’s eyes widened as he heard that voice, Sungjong’s voice. He looked up just to find the maknae’s worried face. “I’m just tired,” he said, flashing him a weak smile. “Can you get Woohyun for me, please, Jongie?”

Sungjong’s face was still filled with fear for a moment, but then he his heels and finally let Sunggyu alone in the restroom, hopefully to call Woohyun.

Sunggyu was still gasping for air before he finally calmed down and let his eyelids fell, meeting the darkness for a moment.

Woohyun knew that something have to be wrong when Sungjong came to him with worried traced on his face. He noticed that sunggyu still hadn’t come back from the restroom, and his accusation was right. Sungjong was actually telling him that there was something happened with their leader in the restroom. He didn’t even know why Sungjong told him about it, but he finally rushed his way to the restroom.

“You have to go back, Jongie, it’s your turn after this,” Woohyun said, right before the door of the restroom. He could actually read the anxiousness on Sungjong’s face. “He’ll be alright, that exhausted grandpa,” Woohyun chuckled, trying to light up the mood a bit. But it was actually working.

“Okay then hyung, take care of him!” Sungjong said before he ran back to the direction of the recording room. And Woohyun didn’t waste any time to come into the restroom, seeing Sunggyu on the floor with his head leaned on the wall, eyes closed.

“God, Sunggyu hyung, you’re still alive, right?” Woohyun quickly went to kneel down next to the leader, shaking his body softly; He just had to sigh in relief as Sunggyu groaned, opening his eyes to look at him.

“Woohyun,” Sunggyu reached his hands out to touch him, like he was testing if it’s really the real Woohyun he wanted. “I’m …I’m tired. I can’t do this anymore…It hurts so bad,” Sunggyu said, choking on his breath at the end as a drop of tears slipped out from his eyes.

Woohyun was startled. Sunggyu was not the type to cry easily, and he was sure that Sunggyu was all strong despite his illness, like what Howon told him. But this Sunggyu was different, he looked so vulnerable an