ahh...i love angst<3 i was honestly thinking about making this whole story sad (i absolutely adorooreoeo a good sad story<3) but i think i'd get murdered...XD and kai deserves a girl that doesn't die or leave him....XD

*edit* OMFG JAYKAY IM EXCITED FOR KAI TO BE HAPPY. that boy is so y when he's smiling in pictures and tbh im running out of sad, depressed pictures of him for the main image .____."

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Monday, October 29, 2012

                I rolled over and grabbed my phone, clicking it on. Ahh, , I sighed when I saw it was already 9:18. I had been half drunk most of the weekend, so I debated not going to school at all, but something in me…I rolled out of bed and got ready slowly, cooking breakfast and eating as I pleased.

                “Well, Kai, do you have a pass?” Mrs. Chung asked.

                “Nope,” I answered pleasantly, not breaking eye contact.

                “And why were you late?”

                “Slept in.”

                Mrs. Chung frowned at me, her thin lips forming a tight line across her face. “Go to the front office and check in.”

                I sighed. “I’m late. Everyone already knows.”

                “Go,” she commanded.

                I rolled my eyes and left the room, making a large loop around the school, getting a late pass at the main office and then coming back to my class. “Here,” I said, letting it fall carelessly to her desk as I sat down in my seat.

                “Hey,” Junhyung said, smiling at me softly as I entered the dance room.

                “Hi,” I returned listlessly, really not in the mood for any pity.  I averted my attention to looking at the lesson plan Junhyung had out on the podium and ended that conversation quickly. Before long the rest of the students entered, filling the room with that familiar chatter. And there was Hyemin, sitting next to Ahran, Chunji nearby. She was laughing, smiling, looking happy as always. Well, no, not quite. Today, she was…radiating. She was absolutely glowing, looking so blissful. Sighing, I forced my eyes off of her as Junhyung started talking.

                Man, I’m gonna get fat soon… I sighed, staring down into my bowl of ramen. This and alcohol was pretty much all I’ve eaten since Homecoming. Well, I can’t let this go to waste, I decided, quickly finishing the food. I tried to do some homework afterward, but I couldn’t concentrate. Plus I never did homework at home, so it was too weird. I watched TV but wasn’t surprised where my thoughts wandered…

                “You know what I miss?”

                I turned to face Hyemin. We were in the middle of practicing our ballet routine… “Uh…what?” I finally asked, humoring her.

                “Pizza in the caf. Good pizza, that is.”

                What? Where was this coming from? I let out a laugh. “What’s wrong with the pizza we have now?”

                “It used to be better. Much better,” Hyemin explained. “Oh, like you’d know. You go out every day...”

                “Not every day!” I corrected, pretending to be offended.

                She rolled her eyes. “Oh yes every day. And illegally, too.”

                I shrugged “Make it what you want.”

                She laughed. “I think it’s time for a break.”

                “Oh and what have we been doing for the past two minutes?” I returned, an expectant smile on my face.

                “Oh calm down. Take a break, you work too hard,” she said, grabbing a water bottle and tossing it to me.

                Not again…I couldn’t do this for much longer…I sighed, pulling myself off the couch and dragging myself out the door. The crisp fall air felt good on my face as I walked. I shoved my hands deeper into my pockets, and finally took in my surroundings as I went. It wasn’t a place I recognized, I had wandered to a park, but I saw Downtown Seoul’s bright lights not too far away and I could get anywhere from there. I checked my phone and saw it was after 11:00. Guess I should get home now… and I was about to turn around and head back, but then a voice carried by the wind caught my attention.

                 “Do you plan this stuff? Or is this all impromptu?”

                Oh God… I prayed it wasn’t her. I prayed my ears were deceiving me…

                “I dunno…it just…comes out when I’m with you…” a second voice mumbled.

                Hyemin laughed. I couldn’t kid myself anymore. That was her, that was…them.  “Well, I like it,” she said, grasping his hands. He leaned down and kissed her. Aren’t they just so ing cute? I thought bitterly. Aish, what am I still doing here? I suddenly questioned myself. I needed to get out of here. Away from them. It’s Monday, so the clubs will be empty…but a bar should be alright…

                Making up my mind, I headed into Downtown Seoul and stepped into the first bar I saw, flashing my fake ID confidently. I downed a few shots, but just as I was getting bored the bell above the door rang and three women in professional clothes entered. I figured they were grabbing a drink to relax after stayed late to work. They looked mid-twenties, which wasn’t…too bad…

                I shook my head a bit, trying to get rid of the dizziness. I headed over to the three girls, who were drinking brightly colored cocktails.

                “Hey, mind if I join you?” I asked, smirking at them as I saw them run their eyes along my body.

                “I don’t know,” one of them said, sending me a coy look. She had caught my attention before what with that slit in her pencil skirt practically up to her . “We never know what you might do.”

                “Oh, believe me, I’m trustworthy,” I said, sitting down on the stool next to them. “Here, I’ll prove it to you, next round’s on me, aight?”

                They smiled, and we got to chatting. Near midnight, they began to get ready to leave. I walked them out, and they hailed a cab. I opened the door for them, but as the one that had caught my eye started to get in I stopped her.

                “Oh no, no, the walk to my place isn’t long. You definitely don’t need a cab,” I said, giving her a smile.

                She met my eyes boldly. “Then lead the way,” she said, shutting the door for her friends.

                We arrived at my place fairly quickly, at which point I remembered how messy my apartment was… I wonder if I could get away with… I debated in my head before quickly deciding. I twisted the key in the lock, then instantly whirled her around and slammed the door shut, connecting our lips in a instant without turning the lights on. Her hands were in my hair and she was responding to the kiss just as quickly, tugging on my hair and nipping at my lips.

                Gently, I moved her from the door to the couch, moonlight streaming through the window being the only light. It was sort of romantic in a way… Well, as romantic as a one-night stand can be…

                She started to deepen the kiss, her hands touching my body as they pleased. But my thoughts were wandering…it had been a while since I’d hooked up with a girl. Geez, the last time had been…the night I went to Pristine…

                “Here you go,” she said, smiling at me as she handed me my snacks.

                “Thanks,” I responded politely, taking my food and exiting. The brightly lit shop was cozy, and as I glanced back at them as I began to sip my coffee I saw the five people began to talk animatedly, laughing and looking friendly. I didn’t have much time to think about it before my phone rang loudly, startling me. “Eh? What’s up, Baekhyun?”

                “Club 7. Now.”

                “Why?” I asked, just a touch of whining in my voice. Now that I had the deliciously hot coffee and scrumptious cupcake in me I felt a little bit lazy.

                “No why’s. Just come.”

                I sighed. “Fine, fine, I’ll be there in fifteen.” That night I had walked to the club, instead of grabbing a cab or driving like would have been easier. I wanted to enjoy my food more…

                I met a girl at the club. Angie? I dunno, some American name. To be honest I can’t even remember her face now. I hooked up with her in the backroom of the club, then left before she was even finished putting her clothes back on and joined my friends on the dance floor. After that I had just by coincidence not gone out too much. And even when I did go to clubs or out drinking, it’s not like I had with a random girl every time…

                But then, without me even noticing, the more I got to know Hyemin, the worse all other girls seemed. They just didn’t…appeal to me…

                “Yah, tell me what you’re gonna do to me tonight,” she whispered in my ear, biting the shell.

                Suddenly, I was overwhelmed with disgust. With pure loathing for me, for my actions at this moment. “Well I can tell you what you’re gonna do, and that’s leave. Get out.”

                She seemed surprised by my sudden change in spirit; after all we were both already half . After an initial look of shock she smiled at me again, rubbing her hand along my bare chest. “Oh, come on…” she purred.

                “No. Get out. Just…stop! Don’t touch me!” I snapped before I could stop myself. “Get off of me, and get out of here.” I pushed her away harshly, and now she looked pissed.

                “What the hell is your problem?” she hissed, picking up her belongings.

                “I’m eight-ing-teen and in love with someone who only sees another guy. That’s my ing problem. Now get the hell out of here!” The vehemence in my voice was apparent, and she left without another word, a sort of stunned-but-still-pissed expression on.

                After she was gone I sank down to the ground. Nothing was going as I thought. I thought…why was I still thinking about her!? I hated it. I hated being at the mercy of some girl that didn’t even think about me anymore. It . It . And it hurts like hell.