Thursday, November 7, 2013

                It was weird to think about. The fact that I met Eunmi just months ago, I didn’t care enough to get a way to contact her, I was always trying to get away from her…and now I can’t go four days without her. For the past few days I’ve returned to every place I met her; the library, the coffee shop, for God’s sake I went to a club on a Tuesday night! And now here I was, watching the students of the class after me file into the lecture hall, just searching for Eunmi. But the doors closed, and I heard the professor start teaching, and still no Eunmi. God, where could she even—

                “.” I hiked my backpack up higher on my shoulders and sprinted around the corner, desperately trying to get off campus. Of course. I was so stupid. How come the forest didn’t even cross my mind? My God how dense could I get…

                “Does this take me to the edge of Campus?” I hurriedly asked the bus driver, realizing I was too far to walk.

                His eyebrows crinkled. “Out by the river? I mean, yeah, we swing by there…but…why? You do realize there’s nothing out there, right, son?”

                “I know, I know,” I answered. “Just, please take me there. I’m in a hurry.”

                The driver gestured toward the back. “I follow a schedule, but I’ll try,” he mumbled as I took a seat in the back of the near-empty bus.

                I drummed my fingers against my thigh, which was vibrating with the speed with which I was tapping my foot at.

Gently, I pushed her money aside. “Thanks, but I’m good,” I told her, detached, as I paid with my own money. I moved aside to where I began to wait for my drink, but she followed me, looking slightly hurt.  

                “Why…not?” she asked, cocking her head at me.

                “There was no reason for you to,” I responded easily. Seriously, who even was she?

                “There wasn’t any reason for me not to,” she replied.

                “I don’t know you. That’s a pretty good reason. Why waste your time on me?” I asked casually.

                “Well, yeah, I don’t. But I saw you dancing.”

                “Thanks, here is fine,” I told the bus driver, sprinting out the doors of the bus. My backpack thumped angrily against my back as I ran, my heart pounding with every step I sprinted.

                “Kai, look at me,” he voice was surprisingly stern and so I glanced up. She gave me a serious look before continuing, “You’ll do just fine on your test.”

                I frowned. “How’d you…know about that?”

                She shrugged. “Remember last week in the library?”

                “When you were bothering me and refused to listen to anything I said, yes…”

                “Yup. Then,” she nodded affirmatively. “You mentioned it.”

                She really was perfect. Even with a jerk like me…she didn’t give up.

                Just a little bit more, I told myself, urging that screaming pain in my legs to go away. My breath came out in pants, puffing little clouds ahead of me. She had to be here. She had to…

                Up the hill, down the path, veer right, turn in and… “Eunmi,” the word rolled off my tongue as I saw the familiar figure curled up on my hammock, her body facing away from me.

                “You’re Kai aren’t you?”

                My heart nearly froze at the sound of the voice as I saw Hyunjoo stand up. Well that certainly puts a damper on things….

                “Why are you here?” my voice sounded rough, warning, to even my own ears. I did nothing to try to conceal it.

                Hyunjoo raised an eyebrow as he approached. “Yeah. Definitely Kai…” he muttered. Before I could respond, he continued. “Come on, let’s talk somewhere else. She’s exhausted.”

                I let him lead me further into the forest, confident if he tried to jump me I could take him. I had a few textbooks in my bag that may come in handy…

                “So. Do you have anything to say?” he asked, turning to face me.

                Gee….where to start? “Why are you here?”

                Hyunjoo settled himself down on a large rock, but I stayed upright. “Well. She came to me, crying on, what was it?, Saturday? night with a bloody hand poorly bandaged,” he was eyeing me carefully, and I did my best not to show him my weakness. “She was broken, I haven’t seen her like that for a long while. Not since Minwoo—“

                “Who’s Minwoo?” at the sound of the foreign male name I had to cut in.

                “So you’re really clueless…” Hyunjoo asked, his eyebrow raised in amusement. “You like her that much and you don’t even know a single thing about her.”

                “Like you know so much more,” I growled, ignoring his assumption that I liked her.

                “I know why she hates her parents. I know why her brother is dead. I know why she’s been slowly dying herself, and I know what makes her happy. I know why she closed herself off from all her friends recently, I know why she chose this college. And I know how much she cares about you, something you obviously take for granted.”

                I clenched my fists at my side, refusing to let this punk get the best of me. “Who are you? To Eunmi. Are you two…did you…”

                “Did we ever date?” Hyunjoo filled in, and I gave him a terse nod, to which he let out a soft chuckle. “Eunmi and I? Definitely not. I was a friend of her brother’s.”

                “Her…is he the one that…”

                “Minwoo, yes, he’s dead,” Hyunjoo answered bluntly. “He committed suicide. Just last year, actually. Eunmi was never the same. She fell into a depression after that. And she grew to hate her parents even more.”

                I in a sharp breath, trying to wrap my head around this.

                “You probably don’t know this, but Eunmi was absent for the first few weeks of this year. Do you want to know where she was?” Did I? Despite the turmoil inside me, I gave him a stiff nod. “She was at the hospital. She tried to kill herself.”

                Eunmi? Eunmi? My body was frozen, chills running up and down my arms. “Eunmi?” I croaked. Happy, careless, sweet Eunmi? She…she tried to…

                Hyunjoo nodded. “She hides it. But she’s broken inside. She keeps on smiling but it’s at a cost to herself. Every time she pretends nothing is wrong, every time she puts someone in front of herself, she’s breaking down even more. And do you know who she tried really hard with? Someone she only showed her happy side to because she thought he had his own problems?”

                It was getting harder to breath, there was a lump in my throat and my chest felt heavy. “She…with me. It was me, wasn’t it?”

                “She’s tired. She’s worn out. And she can’t handle it now. But you better fix what you messed up, because Eunmi’s better than what you’ve reduced her to. “With that, Hyunjoo walked past me, bumping my shoulder roughly as he headed back to Eunmi. 

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wait okay apparently this was kai's language teacher at graduation but just look how beautiful and happy he looks.. ;aljsdflkasjfds /notjealous. totally not jealous...

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