“Where are we exactly going, Yong?”

Shin Hye asked whilst looking out the window. The road somewhat leads to a familiar destination. A smile curved the male’s lips, taking a quick glance at her curious look before focusing back on the street. Safety issues.

“I want you to meet my cousin and best friend, Il Woo. He’s a doctor. An oncologist specifically.”

To Yong Hwa, it was a form of making them official, as he is going to introduce her to another member of his family. The name rang on her head, remembering the cute little girl who was fond of calling her mommy. Yeo Rim.

“Oh, you meant Yeo Rim’s father, right?”

There was a hint of slight excitement in her voice, her eyes shining in delight when she turned to face him. She wondered whether the kid got her playfulness from her father, uncle, great granny, or a mixture of the three.

However, those thoughts were immediately dismissed. The white glassy building now in front of her eyes brought back memories. Memories that still sting deep in her.  After all, such place has always been not that much of a pleasant ambiance, with sickness, diseases, grief and inevitable death are but a normal scene. It was the same hospital where Yong Hwa brought her after that devastating day.

 Yong Hwa was quick enough to recognize the sudden change in her mood and his hand reached hers to give the back of her hand a little bit of comfort as he it with his thumb.

“I’m here.”

Shin Hye breathed in with eyes closed, convincing herself with those two syllables. When she finally looked back at him, her eyes were hopeful and trusting. They walked hand-in-hand going inside the hospital, his hand occasionally squeezing hers to remind her that he’s there beside her as promised, just in case.

The two reached the twelfth floor, heading to the wing of leukemia patients’ ward. The corridor was quiet, all quiet that silence can be regarded as more the otherwise of what should be comforting. Shin Hye didn’t know why she felt so uneasy. Her muscles were a bit tensed and Yong Hwa had to keep down his pace because she was taking baby steps. She really had no idea, but she felt something big is coming. The calm before the storm, as they say.

The door to their right opened and a man in white gown came out from the room with a check board in his hand. He looked a bit older than them, but still on the same generation.

“Il Woo hyung!”

“Oh hey Yong Hwa, what brings you here? I heard you brought a girl to Halmeoni’s house.”

“You seemed down, really.”

“I have just brought back my patient to his room after the chemotherapy.”

The older forced a smile trying to lift his own mood. It wasn’t that he was not happy seeing his cousin, but it was just the nature of his job. Stress is a major part of it. He turned to Shin Hye and gave him a bow, which the female mirrored in acknowledgment.

“I’m Park Shin Hye. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Right! You were the one Yeo Rim kept talking about on the phone. It’s a pity Yong Hwa got you first, or else you could really be my child’s step mom.”

With that, Il Woo earned a slap from the younger, while Shin Hye’s cheeks turned rosy pink.

“Don’t mind him, Shin. I got you covered.” The three laughed and Yong Hwa got caught into conversation with Il Woo, asking each other how they have been. Shin Hye, on the other hand, peeked at the slightly open room and noticed the patient looked so pale and weak while the nurse was on her side, assisting him to a sitting position so he can eat his meal. Though it was too far to see their faces, she knew they are on a day-to-day struggle for the patient’s survival.

The sight was depressing that she had to look away. Her eyes randomly wandered to the door’s information board.

“Jong Hyun…” His name escaped from her lips, sounding ghostly. Without thinking, she burst into the room, leaving the two men outside shocked with her behavior, their mouths agape and feet frozen in place as their eyes were the only ones moving, watching Shin Hye’s every move.

Now only a foot or two away from his bed, she looked at him, eyes wide with disbelief and pain. Yes, it hurts. It still hurts. She felt betrayed. She felt like she regarded him as stupid because she knew nothing about his condition. Entirely nothing.

“I can explain, Shin.” The words barely made it to her ears. His voice was hoarse and faint because of his condition.

Hitomi gave a small pat on Jong Hyun’s shoulder before walking her way out. She looked at Shin Hye and sighed at the disheartening sight before closing the door. She felt guilty too, because she knows everything but didn’t say a word.

Not long after, streams of hot tears stained her cheeks, clenching her fists to the side. She hated herself for letting herself cry again because of him. She had her head down, not wanting him to see her being vulnerable, again. But her sobs were getting louder and uncontrollable that it finally caused Yong Hwa to go back to his senses and rush to her side. However, Il Woo’s grip on his wrist prevented him. The older didn’t know what was happening but his hunch told him to do such thing.

“Don’t. They need time.”

The two saw the scene the entire time and in all honesty, they don’t know really know what to do.

It hurts him too. On Yong Hwa’s part. Because in just a blink of an eye, she was with that man again. The man he hated to admit he was afraid of losing her to. It hurts because he knows there would always be a part of Jong Hyun that has already been imprinted in Shin Hye’s heart. And all he can do is to save her from her despair, accepting her with his arms wide open. Because that is how much he loves her.

With a heavy heart, he let himself be dragged by Il Woo to his office. A lot of disturbing thoughts lingered his mind all the while. What if she goes back to him out of pity? What if she breaks down and Jong Hyun won’t be there to comfort her? What if she won’t come back to me? What if?

He slumps himself on the chair and closed his eyes.

I love you too, Yong Hwa.

He kept repeating that scene on his head, as it was the only thing he can cling onto to keep his sanity.

***

With all the remaining strength that he has, Jong Hyun stretched his arm to reach for her hand, tugging her close to him. Shin Hye wiped her tears with her free hand before settling to sit on the edge of his bed.

“I’m sorry.”

Jong Hyun never let go of her hand, and neither did she protest. She felt the familiarity with his touch, but didn’t fail to notice that his bones and joints were protruding. His other hand held her chin and guided it to lift to meet his apologetic gaze. Hesitantly, she raised her sight and the moment their eyes met, she just couldn’t get a hold of herself from throwing herself on his frail body.

“Why didn’t you ing tell me Jong Hyun? I was your fiancée for heaven’s sake!”

And just like that, she was crying her heart out again, soaking his hospital gown. Her head in his shoulder as she ran one hand on his hair, with some strands managed to fall off of her palm. He on the other hand, held her so close to him, not caring if any of his bones will break with her weight, his arms that were bruised with countless injections securing her position.

“I don’t want to be a hindrance to your future by marrying a sickly man like me. You have a life ahead of you, Shin.” The words stabbed both their hearts like a sharp dagger, because to him, it’s the truth. It was never meant to be known to her because he would never want to be a burden, most especially to Shin Hye.

“And I love you.” His embrace tightened a little bit, tears welled up in his eyes as it was now his turn to weep. “You are my top priority above all.”

Ever since, it has always been Jong Hyun whom she seek refuge. Even before they were together, he was his guardian angel. He had always been there to look after her no matter what. And now he was still there. Protecting her future even if it meant hurting the both of them. Even if it meant that it was now time to let her go. Because he knew that even if he leaves the world, life for her would still have to continue.

“And I love you too, Jong Hyun. I could have been the one taking care of you.”

Shin Hye couldn’t argue anymore. It wasn’t that she agrees to what he has done, or that she wasn’t mad any longer at the situation. But his act was too noble, too martyr even that she was not sure if she deserves such love.

“…but you love him more now. And I’d be more than happy to know that you’re in the right hands.”

Even with tears, Jong Hyun managed to curve a weak yet genuine smile on his face. It is painful, yes, but he is glad to know the fact that a good man like Yong Hwa would be there to take her hand once more.

She wanted to blame him for not telling her because she would be more than willing to look after him too. It was supposed to be her time to pay back his kindness, his love. But it cannot be the case now. She already has Yong Hwa, the man who undoubtedly stayed by her side even when everything seems to go wrong with her life. The man she had come to love like no other.

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Author’s Note: Sooo…how was this chapter for you my dearest readers? I shed some tears while writing this. It was like stabbing my own heart writing this because of how painful Jong Hyun’s situation is. I honestly love his character here. /slaps for loving the character I made/ OTL

And yes, he has leukemia. Not AIDS. There was a hint that AIDS wasn’t his disease during Jong Hyun and Hitomi’s conversation in chapter 17 :3 I hope I made it clear to those who were kind of confused.

Thank you to all those who read, subscribed, commented and upvoted. I am overwhelmed with your support, despite my lack of regularity in posting updates in here and my two other on-going fics: It Started With a Fan Fiction and Even if You Know You’ll Get Hurt, Keep Going Straight. Dang, I just realized how long the titles of my fics are T_____T Please do comment about your feelings and thoughts about this because I'd be more than glad to read them OuO

On a personal note, I now got a temporary job working at the office where my parents also work. I don’t really know if this is a good thing or another because I am afraid of people’s expectations for me, after knowing I graduated with honors from a good school. I am really pressured and I’m not really sure if this path is the right path or if this is the path that I wanted to pursue. /sighs/ I didn’t know it would be this hard being a grown up. Anyway, enough about myself. Sorry for letting this out. Idk why I am even blabbering this nonsense. Forgive me T____T

Have a nice day everyone! ^__^