Jong Hyun’s POV

Even with closed eyes, the light seemed to penetrate my eyelids that I know I’m in a very well-lit place. Slowly, I peeked at the surroundings as I open one eye. The place is painted with white. I’m in a hospital, that’s for sure. I blinked a few times before finally letting both my orbs to take a look of the room.

“You’re asleep for almost two days. You lost quite a lot of blood from your encounter with…Shin Hye’s friend.”

The voice came from a familiar person. It was the nurse, checking my IV on the side. I wanted to stand up and leave this forsaken place. There’s not really much they can do with my situation. I’m hopeless and I have already accepted that. And I don’t want to cause trouble to anyone with my condition, most especially Shin Hye.

I just shrugged at her statement. I don’t need to answer that anyway. It took me a lot of effort to just tilt my head and glance at the woman wearing her white uniform. I feel like I don’t even have enough energy to stand up.

“When will I be discharged, Hitomi?”

Hitomi has been my personal nurse ever since I started seeking medical help with my sickness and with that, I have learned to get used to her presence. Even if I decided not to seek treatment anymore, she still insisted to take care of me, visiting me almost everyday just to check if I’m doing fine. At first I would push her away every single time. I don’t need anyone to take pity on me. I never needed that. But then, her continued persistence finally made me gave in, seeing she was just genuinely being sincere on trying to help me. Besides Shin Hye, I have never let anyone enter my life, not even my bandmates. But it seems she was another exception. She was quite a company I am learned to be comfortable with, and I guess she had learned to accept my cold, guarded self. Little by little I would open up to her, as she never gave up asking me about myself, including that part of me that belonged to no one but Shin Hye.

Just like what I did, she didn’t respond. She knew that there’s nothing much to talk about the incident. Instead, she put an apple in front of my lips and I reluctantly took a bite.

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Eat that if you want to get out of here the soonest.”

I rolled my eyes at her lame joke, but in the end I managed to snort a soft laugh. It was her failed attempt that I found funny. I started eating the fruit and she sat on the chair beside my bed, watching me as I took more bites. I know that look of hers, expectant and itchy to ask something, but she seemed nervous to ask.

“What is it?”

I broke the silence as I took the last bite and threw the core of the apple in the bin. She gave me a glass of water and I took a few sips, my orbs never leaving hers. She gulped a lump in , and I confirmed it was something sensitive.

“…Why did you tell him you have AIDS?”

“It’s not like it’s anything different from bone marrow cancer. They’re both fatal. Incurable.” I lied.

“It is. I know you have a reason behind it.”

I ticked my tongue in annoyance. Where is this heading? With a deep sigh, I closed my eyes and shook my head a few times, trying my very best to shrug off any tear that would try to escape from my eyes. Once I open them, I turned the other away, not wanting to meet her inquisitive gaze. I looked at the window instead, taking in the view of the sunset. It was beautiful, and I can remember those afternoon drives when Shin Hye would pester me to go watch it. The memory was painful to recall, the fact that it will remain just a memory.

“I don’t want that boy to be only fooling around with her just to get under her pants. I didn’t leave Shin Hye so that other guys can have the opportunity to break her heart, just like what I did.”

“…but he seemed really serious with her. Your bruises are more than enough as a proof.”

“I know. But I needed to be sure that he won’t go down on her unless he loves her enough. I want her to find a man who will genuinely love her and take care of someone as precious as her, even more than I did, because that’s what she deserves.”

My voice became smaller, and a stupid tear touched my cheek because I was left unguarded with my feelings. I quickly wiped it, not wanting to Hitomi see how vulnerable I am right now. I looked down at my hospital gown, and couldn’t help but pity myself of how I have become. Soon enough, more tears rushed down my face and I couldn’t control them anymore. I heard the chair being moved, and a pair of arms hugging me to an embrace later on.

“You must really love her so much.”

I do. I do love her, even more than my life. But I knew I wasn’t the one who would be with her til the end, and so I have to make sure she’ll end up with someone better. And I guess she already found him.

The warmth from her hug made me feel at ease, despite my misery. And I could only silently thank her for being there. It was nice to have her by my side, as she helps me to get going with my dull life. I reached for her hand and gave it a soft squeeze.

“I don’t want her to lose her chastity with some random guy. I know she won’t. She’s a smart girl, but I don’t want to take the risk.”

I didn’t know why I continued explaining to her, but I just felt like telling it to someone I trust, like I felt myself not being able to contain as much as I could any longer.

“…but a few days ago, you didn’t come home because you told me you were with her.”

I nodded in agreement.

“Nothing happened.”

Flashback.

I felt myself wanting to go further, topping her as I led her towards the bed. Our kisses were never passionate as before.

“I want you Shin Hye. I still love you…”

I was on the verge of losing my sanity, unbuckling my pants, when Shin Hye took a hold of my hands, stopping me.

“No, Jong Hyun. I can’t do this.” It was as if she was awaken by what I have said. She sat up and scooted away from me, and that sent me back to reality. I already left her and I can’t take that back.

“Is it because of that boy?” My stomach clenched asking that to her. As painful as that might sound, but I wanted to know. I needed to know. I have to make sure she’s found someone.

She just kept silent, and cupped her face afterwards as soon as I heard her sobbing.

“I’m sorry, Shin. I’m sorry.” I mumbled repeatedly, and not long after I found myself crying with her, pulling her to an embrace. I’m glad she didn’t do any attempt to push me away. At least I know she still cares for me. I let our bodies slide down, lying down on the bed as I hold her still while my free hand reached for the blanket to cover ourselves. It has been awhile since I felt as peaceful as this. Our tears finally came to an end. No one dared say even a word, no one even dared to make a sound.

The sun had already risen when I woke up, and Shin Hye was beside me, sleeping ever so peacefully. I watched my beloved sleeping beauty and let my fingers trace the contours of her face, just like what I used to each day I woke up side by side with her.

But today, it has to come to an end. She’s not mine anymore. With one last look, I planted a soft kiss on her forehead.

‘Goodbye Shin.’

And with that, I put on my shoes and fixed my shirt before walking out of the door, never looking back.

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Author’s Note:

IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO UPDATE. I’M SORRY TO ALL MY DEAR READERS. THANK YOU TO ALL THOSE WHO READ, SUBSCRIBED, COMMENTED, AND UPVOTED THIS STORY.

I am sorry for making you wait for too long. I honestly feel bad about it. I hope you are still reading this one. I promise to improve my writing and I’ll try my best to find time to update my fics. I am graduating really soon but I am afraid to face the real world. I hope I will land on a good job. /sighs.

Anyway, I hope you’ll also take time to take a look at my yongshin fic, “Even if You Know You’ll Get Hurt, Keep Going Straight.” It’s also angst-themed like this one. I don’t even know why I am being fond of writing sad stories lately. But I think I would be posting the first chap of my other yongshin fic, “It Started With A Fan Fiction” in a few days. Maybe tomorrow if time permits. I also missed writing romcom fics.

And oh, I’m also planning to write a new fic, with Sulli and EXO as the main cast. Sulli is my bias in f(x), with Krystal as close second, and EXO is just…uggh. I friggin love them so much. I have been reading fics about them and I honestly crave for more because there really is not that many. Idk but I suddenly felt myself having a crack ship for Sulli & Sehun, and Sulli & Luhan. So yeah, that would be my first non-yongshin story I think. It will be y-comedy themed, with all the twelve members of exo as Sulli’s leading men.

Anyways, back to the story. This chap is written in Jong Hyun’s POV. It’s the first time you have read about his perspective, eh? ^^ What do you think? Your words are highly appreciated.

Have a nice day, my beloved readers.