I shrugged as ChanYeol and KyungSoo seemed to be thinking. SuHo wasn’t around again…but now, I’m not wondering—I don’t even care.

 

Plans for tonight. I don’t…I can’t think of anything. Last night while I was hugging LuHan, I was thinking that tonight will be the night that I will confess to him…cause I was feeling a little confident that I won’t be rejected.

 

But with what happened earlier this morning; my plan crumbled into nothing and disappeared into thin air.

 

“C’mon guys! We have 4 days of no class. Think of something! Like, going out of the country or something.” BaekHyun was so loud that I regretted joining them. I was thinking of being alone, but I didn’t want them to know that something’s going on with me, so…I’m here.

 

4 days of no class. Something was up on the university, so we don’t have classes starting tomorrow ‘til Saturday. Sunday, well…who has classes on Sundays?

 

If LuHan…

 

Nah~

 

No~

 

No LuHan’s. No more LuHan plans. He’s with SuHo. I just need to…

 

“KIM JONGIN!” their combined voices brought me back to reality with a snap.

 

BaekHyun hit me in the arm.

 

“Ya! Hyung!” I whined, it was pretty hard. “What was that for?”

 

“We’ve been talking to you, and you’re spacing out.” He replied, annoyed.

 

“Sorry, hyung” I mumbled, rubbing the arm that he hit, “I’m just thinking.”

 

He sighed. “Well, that better be a contribution for our plans.”

 

I shrugged the thoughts that I had earlier and thought of something sensible to say.

 

“Is…Uhm, do you have plans…already? I mean…have you thought of anything?” I tried to say, I tried to sound sane or normal or whatever. But the look on BaekHyun’s face seems to say, 'tell me what’s wrong'. I shook my head to him and he sighed again.

 

“Uh, well…we thought of going to Jeju Island” it was ChanYeol who replied.

 

Jeju Island. Just last Sunday. No. “Uh, can we not?” I asked.

 

“Why not?”

 

“Well…” I’ve no excuse, and I’m going to ruin their fun.

 

“Oooh! Right, can we not?” thanks KyungSoo, “Kai and I have been there loads of time, especially when we were still young. And I know you two, too. Jeju is just there, you know.” Really, loads of thanks, KyungSoo.

 

“Y-yeah~” I nodded, BaekHyun was still giving me a look.

 

“Kai?”

 

I looked at him. “Yes, hyung?”

 

“Will you accompany me to the convenience store?”

 

ChanYeol protested, “Can I not come with you, Baek?”

 

BaekHyun rolled his eyes, “Do we have to be together every minute, happy virus?” ChanYeol blushed, “We DO stay in the same room, you know.” He blushed darker. I don’t know how BaekHyun stays un-blushing with all that’s coming out of his mouth.

 

ChanYeol just nodded and whispered, “Buy me some chocolates.”

 

BaekHyun nodded, “And you, D.O?”

 

KyungSoo, who was very much into his phone, looked up at the mention of his name and gave BaekHyun a blank look—his wide eyes completing it.

 

“Uh, yes?”

 

BaekHyun shook his head, “Anything you want us to bring you back?”

 

“Oooh~ A BIG bag of chips would be nice, cheese flavor. Your choice.”

 

He just nodded, “Let’s go, Kai?”

 

I didn’t know what BaekHyun hyung was up to…well, I know. It’s about LuHan. But, I don’t think I’ll have something to say now, or I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to say anything. I don’t know. I’m confused with myself.

 

“What’s up, hyung?” I asked him, trying to sound casual and clueless.

 

“JongIn” he only uses my real name when he wants us to be serious. “I’m not yet finished with you.”

 

I raised an eyebrow, he continued.

 

“About yesterday. My question. How ‘bout answering me properly?”

 

“That. Oh, hyung. Nothing, really.”

 

“JongIn, look. I wouldn’t press this matter to you if I’m not seeing you this all bothered. I just…I’m just worried about you. You know I worry about you the most than them, even ChanYeol”

 

I chuckled at that, I’ve always felt special with BaekHyun—he has always treated me like a baby ever since we met. He knows me better than all my other friends do, even my parents. He knows about the expressions of my face and why I show them….even if I’m not aware. He knows the tones that use, if I’m angry, happy, sad, worried, or uncaring. He knows me best like that. and this, I can’t hide it from him—he knows me too much.

 

“To be honest, I never really thought that you’d be...you know.” He gestured with his hand, then to himself. “Like, you’re the manliest of us. And you’ve had the most girlfriends.” 4 is the most for us, because well, SuHo hyung had 2, ChanYeol had 3, KyungSoo had 1 (and they’re still kind of together, but I don’t know. I don’t see her anymore) and BaekHyun had none. I guess he was always aware of what he is.

 

“When I saw you two, it was like…you were very happy. Like something’s different with you. I mean, I could’ve just thought that you were happy about something. But, the way you hold his hand, the way you laugh with him and the look at him…it’s just.” He paused and looked at me thoughtfully, “You just don’t like him, you already love him.”

 

I tried to laugh, it was obviously fake and forced but… “Hyung~ how can that happen? I’ve met him just last week.”

 

“And so?” he raised an eyebrow, “I fell inlove with ChanYeol the week after I met him, though I’m just admitting it now. ChanYeol doesn’t even know it.” he grinned at me, which I can’t help returning.

 

“Kai, I know…you’re scared.” He was serious again. “And I don’t blame you. But what I don’t understand is why you’re scared.”

 

I didn’t wanna lie anymore. I don’t see any point in doing it, especially to BaekHyun. I shrugged, "I guess...I'm afraid of rejection"

 

"JongIn-a, everybody's afraid of rejection. What I don't understand is why you're scared of that. It's not LuHan hyung's gonna regret you"

 

I looked at him , he scoffed. "Don't tell me you don't notice that he likes you"

 

"I...."

 

I don't know if I'm stupid or what. He does seem to like me, but....what if that's just his nature?

 

I stared at him desperately, "Hyung...SuHo hyung~"

 

He waved a hand at me, "I'll take care of SuHo hyung. I'll tie him up in a tree if I have to." he sighed, "Tell him what you feel. It's better than bottling them up inside you~"

 

I smiled. I'm glad I have BaekHyun.

 

"Thanks, hyung"

 

He nodded as we entered the convenience store.

 

 

**********

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