Jiyeon POV

I open my eyes. It’s quite blurry at first, but I still can see. Everything is white.

W-wait. Am I still alive? What is this place? Is this what they called heaven? I-I’m d-dead?

Eh? Ah! I’m in the hospital. I know it by the smell of this place. The smell of the drugs.

Ugh. I can feel the pain in my head.

I hear people talking outside clearly as the door wasn’t fully closed. I don’t recognize some voice. Really. I wonder who that voice belongs to.

“Do you think she can accept the fact that he already dead?” My heart suddenly beats faster.

“No.” Who’s dead?

“I am afraid that she will go crazy if she knows about this.” Who? Me? W-wait is that mean.. M-myungs-

“Guys, please don’t talk about that thing here.” Someone interrupt.

“Move aside. I want to see my sister.” The door is fully open by Byunghyun. I can see clearly Byunghyun is now rolling his eyes in annoyance. His eyes widen as his eyes fix to me.

“Noona.” He said. “Doctor! She’s already wake up!” My brother shouts and goes closer to me and hugs me tightly. Too tight, I might say.

“Noona. I’ve been waiting for you for 2 days!” He cries as he talks.

“Byunghyun, I’m fine.” My voice crack. Its been a long time since I talk.

One minute later, a doctor and two nurses come in the room, interrupt our brother-sister time.

The doctor grabs his apparatus and asks me to open my mouth. I let the doctor doing his job. He checks and asks me if I am okay or not and I answer him honestly by saying I’m okay and they don’t have to worry about me that much.

After the doctor and the nurses going out from the room, Byunghyun gives me water. He keeps on talking. When I ask him where Myungsoo is, he suddenly stops talking and did not move at all. He looks like a statue in my eyes. He keeps on acting like that until someone opens the door.

“Jiyeon-ah.” My other half, besides Byunghyun, calling my names softly.

“Oppa.” I look at him, “Did you know where Myungsoo is?” I ask him.

Again, I get that sympathy look just like Byunghyun gave me just now.

“Seriously both of you! Can you just answer my question just now?” I can’t hold my anger anymore. I have to know what happen to Myungsoo. I have to. I have that bad feeling about him.

“Jiyeon-ah, M-Myung-s-soo.. He…” After I heard Jiyong oppa story, my heart feels like it’s been cut deeply, as deep as it can. I can’t hold my tears anymore. My eyes keep on tearing. I breathe heavily. My eyes became blurry and my mind blank. I faint for the second time.

Everyone is wearing black clothes. I still can’t accept the fact that he’s dead. Or I don’t want to believe what others say about him. It’s true I still have feelings for him. But, it is just a tiny bit. Someone grabs my hand as he whisper to me, “Everything will be alright.” The one that is hold my heart now, Myungsoo, smiled.

I look up to his face, smiling, pretend that everything is alright.

The scene that makes me tearing once again is where his brothers crying. They had not just lost him, but Sehun and Kai which is in hospital, coma. I went to them and saying sorry while I cry. I did not care about how I look. I feel guilty. Because of me he died and his brothers are in coma. It is my fault. I want to kill myself because of that.

“I’m sorry. I did not mean to kill them. It is my fault.” I look down. I don’t want to look at their face.

“No, Jiyeon. It’s not your fault.” Suho said, “It’s our fault for not searching for them.” He pats my shoulder.

Too many people die in just one day or this year. Ze:a. I just found out about them killed by Block B. Daehyun already buried safely. Zelo was still in coma. Kris, the one that I talked about died because they tried to save me from getting killed by Block B and now, I’m at his funeral.

“Why him?” I cried on Myungsoo’s shoulder.

“Shh. Don’t cry.” Myungsoo tried to sedate me.

“He didn’t deserve this. He wouldn’t die if he didn’t come and save me.” I said, “Pabo.” I whispered to myself.

Everything went silent. All of us pray for him. The last time I saw him was when the both of us fight. I really didn’t expect this would happen. If I know, I would treat him better. I am really sorry, Kris. I hope I’ll meet you in the different world as soon as possible. Maybe I should suicide myself.

“Hey, Jiyeon. Can we talk?” Luhan asked me.

I gave him a weak nodded and went with him. I left Myungsoo as Luhan said that, he needed to talk with me alone.

“You know,” He scratched his head. He looks like he had something he wanted to say. “About Kris.I never told this neither to anyone nor to he told to anyone except me. I want you to have this letter. He wrote this letter. The last letter before he died. This letter was a long time ago when he decided to kill himself but I managed to prevent that cruel thing to happen.” He looked at me, his lips looked slightly pale.

He continued, “He is a good kid, you know. He was a cheerful kid when he was with you. But after he followed his parents to Canada, he became distant and quiet kid. He told me that. He told me everything about you and him. I tried to match him to many girls already but still, he only wants you. Well, that was when we were in ninth grade. In eleventh grade, the both of us moved to Korea. His parents didn’t agree about him transfer to Korea but after I persuaded them, they agreed. We went to high school together and eventually met the others. All of us became best friends. He used to smile a lot when he was with us, but after I told him that I met you. He became different and distant after he knew that you already had a boyfriend. I told him, he should forget you but the only thing that he said to me was, he vowed that he will protect you with his life even though you are not his.” He took a deep breath and continued,

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