note: please don't get confused with the time frame. each X months later is to be compared from the  time of previous scene. sorry i'm bad with these stuffs ><....

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Credits: Lenixai@youtube

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Six months later

"Oh...Dongjun?"

"Kwanghee Hyung!"

"What are you doing here?"

"Filming."

"Ahh, I see."

"You're filming too here, Hyung?"

"Just finished. Started yesterday, but you know how it's always dragged."

Dongjun nodded and opened his mouth to speak but changed his mind.

"So, how's...Siwan doing?"

"Yah, shouldn't you know better,hyung?"

"Really? Why?"

"Isn't he back here too?"

"Oh..."

"How's Junyoung Hyung?"

"Improving. Still not entirely good but ninety percent, I guess."

"That's...nice to hear. Well, I'm in a hurry. Bye, Hyung."

"Bye. Say hi to Kevin and Minwoo and Hyungsik if you meet them."

Dongjun nodded before adding. "Say hi to Junyoung Hyung too, and Heecheol Hyung and Taeheon Hyung if you meet them anytime soon."

Kwanghee nodded and smiled.

Everything has changed. Time passed, bleedings eventually dried and left merely scars that will eventually heal. That's just how things go, that's how life is. He looked on, until Dongjun's figure disappeared from his viewing.

"Good to see everyone's doing good." He smiled wryly to himself.

It was then time to continue filming, to continue life.

---

Six months ago

"I have...an announcement, to ZE:A fans, ZE:A Styles, and everyone who had supported and loved us all these years."

Everyone remained silent, too nervous to even let their own breathings be heard by their own selves. 

One though, was courageous enough to break the silence.

"Actually, I'll continue what our leader, Junyoung has to say. Thank you for always supporting us and we're sorry if the comeback today didn't reach your expectations. But please continue watch over us and love us. We will come back soon with an even more upgraded comeback, so please support our Spectacular album and our title song 후유증, and again, thank you. Don't forget to vote for us and buy our albums, okay? With your support we will gain more strength and Junyoung will have strength to recover even faster. Promise that you'll wait and watch over us as we walk along this journey step by step, until we could soar like Phoenix. Thank you."

The surprisingly thunderous cheering from their fans brought them back to reality. They almost had forgotten they had fans. Even if the number isn't as high as other groups, the volume of the cheering were no less impressive.

Junyoung was at a lost of words though. Siwan had just screwed the speech he had planned, and he had not made any plan B. The only thing he noticed was somebody tugged at his hand and he realized everyone was already bowing down, Siwan started it. Being on his chair, he couldn't give the same bow as the rest of the members, but he nodded the lowest he could go, and the audience screamed, some words he could capture. Words of spirit, wishing him to get well, wishing them to gain strength, wishing them to keep fighting.

But, wasn't it supposed to be the ending moment? Why did it felt like a beginning instead?

---

The trip back to their waiting room was tensed. Nobody spoke a word. Everyone simply wanted to wait for the other to begin. 

"Do you guys hate me that much? Am I supposed to just let the disbandment happen just now?"

"Siwan-ah, how did you know?"

"Oh, so even you're keeping it from me? What kind of friend are you? I thought we're supposed to not keep secrets from each other and settle everything through discussions and being open to one another? And I'm not just talking about Kwanghee, but all of you. Didn't we agreed on this before we debuted? Don't any of you remember? How could you keep it all from me?!"

"Siwan...they...we're just...we just want the best for you."

"Did anyone ever ask me what's the best for me?! How could you decide what I want?! Did you know you've just tried to ruin the one thing I'm struggling to protect?"

"But the contract didn't say you can remain in ZE:A while having your solo career."

"Not you too, Taeheon! So you guys looked through my contract, huh. Now I know where all this crazy plan started from. I should've just burned it."

"Siwan, calm down. I know you're a loyal person. You wouldn't leave us, even for such lucrative offer. But we know how badly you want to be as successful as Lee Seunggi. And that contract's offer, is already on Lee Seunggi level. I know you wouldn't take it. How can we just let you waste the opportunity to reach your own dream, because of us? Not everyone can reach success, like you did. It's not like we would hate you."

"What are you saying, Junyoung?! So, for the sake of my sky high dream, you're willing to sacrifice their dreams? Our dreams? No wonder the kids were so angry at me just now. If I had let your plans went on just now, I'd end up quitting the entertainment scene. How am I supposed to face anyone knowing I had destroyed something we worked so hard to protect and carry on?! Huh?! That's not the dream I wanted at all."

The word shooting fell silent abruptly. The only sound left allowed to be heard were the sound of their desperate catching of breathing after the intense use of energy on the argument right after they ended their official comeback stage.

"I'm...I'm sorry Siwan Hyung. We really didn't mean to...please don't blame Junyoung Hyung...it was our fault. We won't hate you even if you..."

"That's enough. I don't want to hear anymore..."

Awkward silence again clouded the room. After another one called for Siwan and being shot to silence again, they realized what Siwan needed more than anything at the moment, was the silence. And everyone complied, even as they rode their long journey home in their van.

It was once they were all safe in the confinement of their dorm, that Siwan broke the silence that had went on for too long for anyone's comfort.

"So, where do we go from here?"

Nobody dared to answer for the first few seconds.

"What do you mean?"

"Do you still want me or do you want me out of the group? I can leave if that's what you all want."

"But the contract..."

"Just bedamned the contract. It wasn't all that great anyway. I deserve better."

"Sassy. Not what I expect from you."

"Yeah, Kwanghee, I learnt from you."

"What? Blaming me for your lack of manners? Yah, you do still have a lot to learn, Im Siwan."

"I know." Siwan suddenly smirked.

"Wait...if Siwan Hyung still need to learn and he learnt from us, doesn't that mean he still need to be with us?"

Taeheon who remained silent let out a small smile as he pounced on Heecheol's shoulder for the latter's blunt words. Siwan's smirk had turned into a grin as Junyoung looked on cluelessly.

"Yah, pabo Junyoung. That means he want to remain with us." Kwanghee clarified the obvious to their oblivious leader who only responded with opening his mouth and slowly nodding.

"The truth is, I want us to be together. I don't want anything to change. I was just upset because my thoughts seemed so selfish. But there's nothing better than having Siwan Hyung with us even if it's selfish, if Siwan Hyung is okay with it. I'm sorry again, for my attitude just now." Minwoo added and looked on at the Hyungs, uneasily.

"Yeah, I really don't want Siwan Hyung to leave too. He's so warm and cuddly."

"Yah, pabo, he's so small and skinny. What do you mean he's cuddly?"

"I don't want Siwan Hyung to leave too. Unless Siwan Hyung really want to leave on his own. But I'll definitely cry like a baby even if it's the most unmanly thing. I'll even continue cry during Dream Team filming."

"Look who's bragging about his own schedule. I swear that sounds so obvious."

"Shut up, Kwanghee Hyung."

"Well, I guess the maknaes have spoken." Kevin grinned, relieved that the day turned out totally different than how he had prepared himself to face. Relieved that nothing went on as planned.

"Well, if everyone have decided, thank you for choosing to be with us, Siwan."

"No. Thank you for thinking of me, even when it endangered the group and almost sacrificed the others. Just...don't do it again. Or I might seriously go crazy and kill somebody."

"Whoa. Okay. I'm sorry for shocking you, Siwan."

"I'm sorry for getting angry too, just now."

"But Siwan Hyung, how did you found out what would happen onstage."

Siwan scanned each and everyone inside the living room and paused at a certain person before looking back to the voice that asked.

"Well, my number one fan aka secret admirer couldn't keep secret from me."

"I wonder who that culprit is." Heecheol mused loudly.

"Hey, I swear I didn't told him anything. I'm not lying, Junyoung-ah."

"Pabo Hyung." Taeheon slapped Kwanghee's shoulder and Minwoo joined in the abuse as Junyoung shook his head in amusement. Yes, it had been years, yet such everyday scene still never failed to amuse him. He bet he's not the only one who felt that way. 

Then he caught sight of Siwan who was smiling at him, and he returned the smile.

---

Almost two months later

"Sorry I took so long to recover." He said in shame.

"How can anyone be sorry for something like that? Don't worry."

"But Junyoung Hyung wrote the song Phoenix, with Minwoo and Dongjun, right? So it's just like you performing with us."

"Yeah, no matter how many members will be on stage, it's still nine. We will still have so many comebacks to come. You'll recover soon enough."

"Siwan Hyung is right. Soon, we'll perform together on stage again."

"Anyway..." Kevin paused, his usual method to call for attention from the others. "How did you guys come up with Phoenix? Was it...Siwan's speech you know...during our historical last comeback stage?"

"Actually, I didn't even notice Siwan Hyung mentioned it until after we had done with the lyrics. Why did you ask, Kevin Hyung?"

"Hmm, I just think I could draw some ideas from his speech to make songs."

"Really? What song? Will it be included in our album?"

"Still in the making. We'll see."

"Well, glad I actually inspired somebody." Siwan laughed bashfully as they continued preparing for their comeback stage. A season had passed. Another comeback stage had arrived. A comeback that at one time, nobody thought would ever come, yet there they were. 

Relieved hearts, appreciative hearts, determined hearts, grateful hearts, hearts, that burns and soars, like a phoenix.

Everything went on just the same as before. Yet the hearts had grown stronger, yet calmer than ever.

One step at a time, step by step, even if they're taking very small steps, the important thing is, they're steppping forward, together, stronger than ever because their steps were synchronized, and there were no more doubts, or speculations. What they need to keep doing, is just to keep taking steps after steps forward, and they would eventually get there, somewhere, wherever it is, it's going to be a better place than the previous steps they left behind. That's one thing for sure. 

Kevin smiled to himself and continued scribbling his song ideas in his notebook.

---

Present

"Hyung, I met Kwanghee Hyung today. He said hi to everyone."

"Oh, did you meet Siwan too?"

"Yeah, he said he's coming tomorrow morning."

"Aish...I'm so nervous. ZE:A Five will be debuting soon. I wish everyone's here. I always thought we have too many members but now that there's only five...it feels so little."

"Yeah right, Hyungsik. Thought you only had thoughts for eating."

"Yah, I'm not that cruel. I miss them."

"Well, I talked to Taeheon on the phone. He said they couldn't attend our promotion here but they'd attend when we debut in Korea."

"Really?" Minwoo perked up. "I can't wait for us to finish this promotion, and maybe soon we'll be able to have comeback together again. Complete."

"Yeah, but I heard before that, there would be another subunit after we finished."

"You mean the other four?"

Dongjun nodded. "That's what I heard at the company yesterday."

"Aish...we're not going to lose to them. Looks like we have to be enemies for now. I'm not going to lose to Kwanghee Hyung."

"Yeah, enemies for now, friends for tomorrow."

"No, Kevin Hyung, it's friends forever."

"Gosh, Minwoo Hyung, you're so cheesy."

"I know, that's how our group manage to stick together. Hahahah"

"Dongjun, do you agree we should beat him up to whack some senses back into his head?"

"A hundred percent agree."

And Kevin just laughed and shook his head as the three kiddy youngest members run around the room, and Minwoo's scream filled the entire space, as the other two chased after him.

Soon, Siwan would come to join their first subunit promotion. As Siwan had said when their subunit was announced, even if there's just the five of them on stage, they're still nine, in spirit. There was no difference between ZE:A or ZE:A Five. Siwan always had amusing words of wisdom anyway. 

---

"Cut! Okay, good job everyone. That's a wrap for today."

The small young man with delicate features that made him appear much younger than his real age (and the school uniform he don didn't help to avoid such impression) nimbly packed his belongings after making sure to bow to each one that passed by him on the filming set. The exhaustion of filming for a straight twenty-two hours was not reflected in his bright smiles and agile movements at all.

"Yah, Im Siwan, you don't have anymore scenes for the coming week, right?"

"Yes, I don't."

"Then what's the rush?"

"I'll be having stage promotion for our group's subunit debut in Japan in two days time. I still need to catch up on practices."

"So hardworking? Yah, with your talents and market nowadays, you're even bigger than your group. What's the name again?"

"ZE:A. Children of Empire."

"Yeah that. You should just focus on acting, and you definitely can make it big. Don't any agency offer you any contract?"

"Uhm, no... Besides, I like doing both. And I'm a singer before I'm an actor."

"But don't you ever feel tired?"

"Not yet." He smiled, satisfied that he had manage to finish packing in less than five minutes. The only thing left to do before leaving to the airport would be changing his clothes and he's good to go.

"Maybe one day if I'm tired, I'll quit, but not for now. I really like everything I'm doing. I have to go now, Sunbaenim. Please support ZE:A Five debut. I'll pass you our CD when we debut in Korea."

"Yeah, okay." The older man answered mindlessly and left.

'Besides, this is something I want to protect. I made this decision, and I haven't regretted it yet. I haven't gotten too tired to the point of wanting to make a new decision, and I hope I never would. Because I'm happy where I am now, what I'm doing now, the people I'm with now, the contentment I feel now. Every day is beautiful. Every steps will lead us to somewhere spectacular eventually. Even if it doesn't, I'm already spectacular. We already are. It'd be nice to have more, but even without, we're still living and keep fighting. It's still much better than what could've happened that night. Let's have strength, because this is just the beginning. We may be weak, but our weakness is our strength. There may be many groups doing strong out there, they don't have our weakness, but that also means they don't have the strength that only we have. Just that thought alone, makes me feel strong and happy.'

He had spring in his steps as he left the place dragging his suitcase towards his waiting manager, no longer in a school uniform.

They had overcome an obstacle that now felt like a dream. Surely, there would be even tougher challenges to come now that they're one more step closer to success. But all they had overcome, they did it together. Things would be no different in the future no doubt. Of course, one day they would part ways, realistically speaking, that seemed inevitable, even if none of them could imagine how they would handle it when it really comes, but if there's one thing they had learnt from Siwan's contract and their almost breakup, it was to cherish every moment left. They'd never know when it will end. Nobody could predict the future. The only thing they could do, is make the most of each moment left, and live and love their lifetime with each other under the pride of the name ZE:A they're bearing, to the fullest.

It might still seem like an illusion, even after years, even after many would consider it's already time to give up long ago. But it was on that night they almost disbanded, as they began picking up the pieces of their shattered memories of youth, promises, hopes and dreams and trusts and faith that all scattered as crumbles in the air, and mending them back one piece after another, beginning with reaching out their frail, trembling hands to one another, as they tried to pull each other away from the cliff they almost fell from to vanish, everything gradually started to transform into reality, the reality that was always there, yet often overlooked. The spectacular reality.

They would soar high wrapped in burning spirit and unstopabble, like the fiery phoenix, towards the dream that was already in their hands, only waiting to spread its sparkling brilliant colours to the sky.

Because they knew, they were meant to be spectacular.

They already are.

Together, even their feeble hands and withered strength could be used to repaint the faded dream into one, more vibrant than the Sun, more vivid than it had ever been.

Because together, they're spectacular.

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S.P.E.C.T.A.C.U.L.A.R

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