Heechul heaved a sigh before his professor-Tae won would say a word to him about the matter that brought him to the heart of the city.

"are you ready…to know the truth?" Tae won asked him tended his head to measure the nervous on the latter's face. 

Heechul was bowing his head looking directly at the ground, didn't dare to stare at the person beside him, he wanted to hear the truth so badly, but something inside him wanted to erase the desire of knowing more!!

"you know heechul, this is my first time I feel that the one beside me isn't you!" he said jokingly to warm the atmosphere between them. But the one on question didn't bother to reply or to move.

"please, don't drop the honorific!" heechul said beneath his teeth. The professor nodded and the delighted feeling covered his face when he heard him.

"yeah, this is you now!" he replied and punched heechul's arm joyfully.

"please, tell me now…about her!" heechul said and the sadness all over him.

Tae won let out a sigh before his speech.

"don't disturb me and don't interrupt me" he said with a strict voice which the responded was nodding. Heechul adjust his sitting and faced Tae won with so curious eyes.

"listen, I know it would be really hard on you to hear this…but, this is what you want, so bear with it" Tae won stopped a little and studied heechul's face for a bit then completed.

"son…"

"before you start…one question, how could you know about her? how could you know about the whole matter?!" heechul stopped him with a so anxious and confusion.

"you might be surprised….I was your father's friend, we were so close to each other, but because of my studying and my personal stuffs, we set apart from each other" his professor said with a nostalgic feelings, remembering how he was close to his father, how they were like brothers and even more, like real family. But the circumstances apart them and by times, each one move on to run his life.

"you left my father?" heechul denounced.

"I'm not, I'm still in contact with him, but not as before!" Tae won rubbed heechul's arm and commented "I still remember how I carried you when you were a child! You might not remember my face at all, because it's been so long now" heechul gave the latter an emotionless gaze, in fact he was trying to remember his face, but he couldn't.

Tae won then added "Sometimes in order to survive you have to do things that you are not convinced by"

Heechul swallowed his saliva and pout a little then told the latter to say what in his sleeve.

"what I had known that she left you since you were still…."

"no need to say it! I know that so well" heechul frustrated as the image flew to his mind.

"I know you know it, so please let me finish my talking without interrupting" the professor said decisively.

"sorry"

"you know she was from a rich family, right? So that her decision on following your dad and rebel her family was such a crisis for her! She couldn't handle the life with him..."

"living with me and my father...was a burden to her? What are you talking about?"

"love didn't provide her what she really wants...the life with your father and his family was too much to her..."

"do you want me....to be convinced by your words? Why are you speaking in a way like you defend her lifeless action!" heechul got up frustrated of what he heard!

"you have to be patient until I finish my speech, I'm not defending her, I'm telling you her point of view or rather I'm telling you the story you always wanted to hear!" Tae won grabbed heechul's hand and made him return to his seat again.

"she was rich? She was...rich?!" heechul said almost mumbling to himself.

"your father loved her to the point he didn't like seeing her in pain at all…he wanted to see her smile, to see her happy….but what he saw was totally different!"

"so he divorced her?!" heechul completed.

"before that, your mother got pregnant…which made the both of them forgetting all the troubles they went through."

"and the one who was in her tummy…was me? why she didn't abort me?!"

"what are you talking about? You shouldn't say something like that!"

"I don't care! I really don't care! I don't care if she's still alive or not! I'm regretting each time I thought of her! I'm regretting each time when I have thought of searching for her!"

"heechul!" Tae won shouted at him.

"why? Am I at fault now? am I the one who gave birth to a child and abandoned him?!" heechul replied quickly and the flame of hates was showing through his sparkling eyes. He was burning when he knows a piece of his mother's life.

"I understand your acting, but let me complete…" Tae won sighed for a bit.

"I don't want to know! That's enough! I really don't care!" heechul stood wanting to leave the place.

"I'm not finishing yet! You have to know more!" Tae won stood behind him and grabbed his arm again to stop his moves.

"why are you so insisted about telling the story? Why you want to defend her? is it because you loved her too and you wanted…."

Heechul's left cheek turned bright red from a strong slap that flew to his face. Tae won didn't regret his action at all, heechul's words were so disrespectful to him and to his pure intention.

Heechul's eyes went wide open of the strike. He wasn't prepared for a slap or even a fight. The fire and the fight inside him were enough to him!! Heechul's stared at his professor with much anger. He fisted his both hands to control himself to not put himself in another trouble!

"watch your words! I'm not going to forgive you because you're my friend's son…I'm not here losing my time to hear disrespectful words from you!" His words were so sharp and strict.

"again, I'm not here because I want you to forgive your mother…because I don't care either, I'm here to let you know the truth that your dad hided it from you! He doesn't want you to take a wrong impression on her" Tae won stopped for a little collecting his memories together.

"my father….or as you said, your friend…lied to me! isn't it painful to know that my mother is hanging out with her family by my neighbors? while I, in another world, thought she died because she gave birth to me?"

 heechul said gritted his teeth in anger. His voice was shaky and his hand trembled from what his mind flashed to him. but he ignored all of that and completed on telling his point of view…

"I didn't take a wrong impression on her…I took a wrong impression on him! he is a weak man! Who lost his pride because of a woman that she didn't really care of his presence!" he shouted at his professor which made the latter staring at him aimlessly.

Heechul sighed in pain remembering his past that he lived it in dark. He was shaking nonstop and trying to prevent his tears to run wildly and fall!

For his first time, he opened his heart and told someone what actually he thinks, how he really feels. His heart was beating strongly which made his trembling obviously to his professor.

"when I was 18…..my neighbors told me about the truth, they were already knowing it…while I, when someone asked me about my mother…I would answer innocently that she died because of me!" heechul added remembering how he wanted a confirmation from his father to assure the news that he heard from outside. It took his father 2 days or even 3 days to confirm it to him! his father's answer was "she's alive, and I divorced her…that's it!"

The tears gathered in his eyes from the oppression, but he fought it back.  

"you can't feel how I feel…and you won't…" heechul said shivering then turned his head to the side to fight with his own tears that clung in his eyes.  

"I'm sorry…." Tae won said pitied the person in front of him and understanding his feelings.

"I have to go…" heechul said but again Tae won's words stopped him.

"I have to tell you this part the most…" Tae won stared at heechul's eyes then added "I don't know about your mother's life now and I know you don't know her face…" he examined heechul's face again but the latter was not interested at all.

"your mother is married….it happened immediately after your birth…" Tae won said and the grief was something written on his face.

"do you think I'll be shocked? I'm not! I should expect something like this from someone like her! and I hope the money and the life that my father couldn't give her, she would have it with her new husband!" heechul said but deeper in his heart, he wanted somehow to know her place, her life, to see her! he let his wondering buried inside of him and bit his lips violently and left the place immediately for Tae won.

Tae won stared at heechul's back and could feel the pressure that he caused him by telling the story all in all at once!

Heechul's mother after giving birth to heechul, she couldn't help but to ask for divorce! The pressure because of her life and the depression because of the pregnancy were enough to her to demand that.

After like 3 months of her birth, heechul's father did what she wanted and freed her. he took the responsibility to take care of the child since she didn't want to return to her family with her child on her arms!!

And since heechul's first year until the age of 24, 18 years of his life was lived in dark, until the day when he knows the cruel truth…he wanted to search for her and to find her no matter what! and all of his searching was because of one question….

"why did you give birth to me when you didn't even want to raise me?!"

But knowing the truth was something heartbroken for him, couldn't handle it by himself, he wanted someone to heal his wound, he wanted someone to tell him that tomorrow would be better, he wanted someone to tell him to smile! He wanted to lean on someone, that's all what he asks for!

Even though, his mission isn't completed yet. What he wanted was bigger than knowing details of her life. He wanted to see her face to face! cause the chance of seeing her face was zero to him! his father burned everything related to her to help him moving on without remembering her at all.

"I don't know if the desire of wanting to see you is still in me…because I truly don't know how I would react! but…I think… I'll give up!" heechul thought.

***************************************

After almost 3 hours of walking aimlessly and shockingly, he finally reached his home, but there was someone standing near it. he couldn't recognize who was there until he walked a bit closer.

"Y-Yoona?" he whispered.

Yoona was knocking the door like it was her tenth time! She knocked again, but no one answered her appeal.

"please, I need to talk to you! Don't ignore me!" yoona called out trying to open the door by moving the knob but to no avail.

"siwon, I know you're in, please don't let me stand like an idiot here!" she insisted about entering siwon's home, but there was no answer at all. The only thing she could feel was silence.

She heaved a sigh as knocked for her last time hoping for a respond, but her hopes flew away as the silence was the only respond she could feel.

She lowered her head and pouted in disappointed and added before she turned her back to the house.

"don't get mad at me, if you want to know the truth, I'd tell you once you open the door….will you?!"

Silence…

She turned her back to leave but she stopped her moves when she saw heechul standing in front of her with a malicious smile…but his eyes and cheeks were bright red to her view.

"why are you shouting at the middle of the night?" heechul commented incuriously.

"why your face…is so red? Are you sick?!" Yoona seemed like she didn't listen to his question but rather paying attention to his pale face.

She walked a little closer to him and raised her hand to measure his temperature by putting her hand on his forehead and the other one on hers. He stared at her aimlessly like if he couldn't resist her vibes! She moved away her hand and stared back at him in wonder. She was worrying about him for some reason!

"are you…fine?" yoona asked again after measuring his temperature and felt a slight rise in his fever… Heechul nodded at her incuriously again. the exhaling and inhaling were heavy to him, it was hard for him to breath naturally!

It was quite an obvious evidence that he wasn't fine…But he simply denied it and claimed that he was pretty fine.

"you come all the way here to apologize to siwon?" heechul commented.

Yoona bowed her head in shyness but she preferred to be honest, so she nodded slightly.

"fortunately, his parent aren't home, or else, you'd cause headache to them! can't you call him before coming and breaking the door by your useless knocking?!" heechul with his same manner and his so deep expression that she couldn't know the meaning behind it which made her panic.

Siwon's parent were on trip because of their business and yet to spend a private time together. Yoona knew it beforehand and that what makes her acting freely on breaking the door as heechul's claimed.

"I called him, but his phone is closed…so I came to see him since it's better to see him face to face, isn't it?" yoona said and smiled a little to him but he ignored her then walked toward the door to enter the home.

before he brings out his keys he turned his body to see her confused face. she was literally shocked of his careless side! She used to see him smile, throwing jokes here and there or at least sitting doing nothing…he might be ignored someone, but not to the point of ignoring the presence of the person with him!!

"didn't you know that siwon during these days, comes home after midnight?" he asked.

"after…midnight? I …didn't ….know, why?!" Yoona was surprised to know that siwon is getting back home at the middle of the night which was literally odd to her…"why?" she kept repeating this word.

"you're annoying me, really! Are you calling yourself a girlfriend? you don't know the smallest thing about your boyfriend, and you still want him to forgive you?!" heechul threw his bad temper at her and made her speechless. The breathing was getting difficulty heavy for him, he was trying to stay composed, but the pain was increasing gradually after his shouting.

"what's wrong with you? You can't judge me by your own view! You don’t know anything about us, and you don't even know why we fought! So why are you angry about nothing?!" Yoona, the latter, replied him with a hyper and unstable feeling. She was sure that something wrong with the person with her, but she couldn't handle his harsh words!

Heechul ignored her and put his key in the hole with a shaky hand and trembling body. Yoona witness his shaking but she was staring and doing nothing. One side told her to help but the other half told her to walk away!

Once heechul opened the door, he fell down on the ground like a corpse! Couldn't move, couldn't breathe well, just fighting with himself to forget what had happened…but he couldn't. as soon as his eyelids shut his sight, he couldn't feel anything around at all.

"HEECHUL-SSHI!" Yoona screamed her lungs out. She harried to his side and turned his body to let his face facing her. she slapped his face powerfully and calling his name…but to no avail. She didn't know why, but her tears were pouring down. Each single tear dropped on his face.

"SOMEONE HELP ME, PLEASE! PLEASE!!! SOMEONE HELP HIM!!" but no one answered her appeal…"heechul-sshi, please! Pull yourself together!" she tight her arms around his very warming body! She wasn't sure of how she should react! his shaking body and his heavy breathing were enough to prevent her move more!

At the end, she managed to erase her "useless" tears so she could concentrate more!! She tried to pull him inside the home with all her power. As the time she tried to enter the home, siwon's footsteps were existing her ears which made her stop her moves.

"Yoona?" siwon exclaimed but as he saw heechul on her arms and his fainted body, the shock covered his whole face. He harried without asking any further question. He helped her by carrying him on his shoulder, it seemed that heechul's body burned siwon's shoulder!

They entered heechul's room so yoona tried to make the way for the fainted friend. Siwon put heechul down on the bed and stared for a bit at him.

"aren't we suppose to send him to the hospital?" yoona asked, her voice was shaking from her worrying.

"no need, the most hateful place for him is the hospital" siwon gazed her then added. "you stay beside him, I'll go and buy him medicines, don't worry" siwon completed.

Siwon the latter was tired after the long practice he had with his team. And of course, as for yoona she noticed that carefully.

"are you ok?" yoona asked patting siwon's arm warmly.

Siwon nodded to her and smiled which made her satisfied at the moment. "take care, please!" yoona said as siwon made his way out the home.

Heechul suddenly coughed which made yoona harried to bring him bottle of water. She sat beside the bed and tried to help him drinking the water.

"heechul-sshi, can you hear me?" yoona asked almost like whispering to him.

No answer…

In fact, he was hearing her, but he couldn't move nor talk at that moment.

"I'll bring the towel with a cold water…please wait until siwon comes" she said pitying the patient in front of her. but then a smile drown on her face at her own words.

Each 5 minutes passed, she changed the towel and the water then put it again on his forehead. "why are you so stubborn?" she mumbled. She checked his fever but still, he needs to go to the hospital for confirmation! She thought.

Yoona was staring at his face like forever! His peaceful face made her remembering how he suddenly shouted at her, it was definitely not suitable to this kind of faces.

What had happened flashed through her mind once again, she remembered how her tears fell down without permission! Until this moment, she couldn't figure out, why?

"I wonder…why he was upset!" yoona continued her self-talking.

Suddenly, through her self-talking and wondering, heechul opened his eyes forcibly. The lights were preventing him from opening it easily.

"heechul-sshi!" yoona stood and looked at him with a satisfy feelings.

He turned his head to her and frowned a little. He heaved a sigh then tried to sit but yoona stopped his moves. He took off her hands and sat despite his bad condition. The towel dropped on his lap when he adjusted his sit.

He stared at it then changed his sight to yoona.

"why are you here?" he asked biting his lip from the pain.

"you're so sick, please, at least lie on the bed!" she ignored his question and tried to push him gently to the bed again. her face met his which created an awkward mood between them. She backed her face then took off her hand. She didn't know why she was so touched about that move! she shook her head and stared at him.

"where's siwon?" he asked.

"he went to buy you a medication, since you don’t like hospitals" she replied.

"so…you talked to him?" heechul asked

"don't talk too much! Just lie on the bed, will you?!" yoona said strictly to him. he gazed her then lied on the bed slowly looking at her expression carefully. Yoona smiled ear to ear when he finally listened to her!

"let me say this, I haven't talked to him yet…but, he seems alright" yoona added as she took her seat near the bed.

"you have to thank me, or rather my illness that makes…" he cut his speech when he coughed strongly. he sat and buried his mouth with his hand. Yoona patted his back gently and gave him the bottle of water to drink it. after drinking it, he heaved sigh!

"I said, don't talk too much!" yoona said! He just glared her and pouted.

Half an hour passed till siwon entered the home with his medication for heechul.

"you're finally here!" yoona took the medicine from him and tried to give him to heechul but he took it from her and drank by himself.

"it seems you're better now" siwon said with a smile.

"yeah! I'm much better" heechul assured him. "you can go now, yoona-sshi! Siwon is with me" heechul added while looking at the confused yoona.

"ah! Yeah! Sure! Please take care of your health! I don't want to see any corpse again!!" she chuckled at her own words but no one seemed to be amused by her words!

"ok then, see you soon!" she added then bowed slightly and left the room for them.

When she closed the door, she was staring at the knob hoping to see siwon. She was hoping that siwon would follow her. she didn’t tell siwon that she want to talk to him at that moment because of heechul's health. after all, she moved away and took her way out of the house.

"what are you doing here? Go after her!" heechul commented. Siwon stared at him as he didn’t really want to talk about the matter with him.

"didn't you hear me? go before she walks further!" he affirming his words.

"I won't! stop it, and go back to your sleep!" siwon said, his voice seemed like pissed off.

"I can't believe you! She came all the way here to apologize! You have to know her point of view!" heechul adjusting his sit and gazed siwon with so serious expression!

"heechul!! Please! mind your business!" siwon said then covered his face with his sheet! He ignored any further appeal from the latter!

Heechul couldn't believe that siwon, his friend, would act like immature someday! It surprised him cause siwon isn't the type of running away as heechul imagining him!

"is that all what you can do? You're escaping? Is that it?" heechul said biting his lip frustrated of the whole matter.

"STOP IT! WILL YOU? AREN’T YOU SUPPOSE TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH? GO TO SLEEP!" siwon said. He took off the sheet then headed out the room. Heechul's mouth was wide open as he saw his roommate got frustrated of his bugging!

Heechul stared at the door which he left wide open either!

"I swear, if I wasn't sick, I would dig your grave here…YAH!" heechul screamed then coughed immediately. "aish! He couldn't see how sick I'm? fool!" he thought but then a smile drawn on his face. "at least…I think you're going to her!" he whispered and lied his head on the pillow….but again….his mind flashed back what had happened to him earlier which made him frowned….again….!

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sorry for the late update

but it's a long chapter isn't it?

your comments are motivating me so please, write down what you think <3