[Baekhyun POV]

I saw her crying as I turned around. I couldn’t care about that right now though. There was a much bigger issue here.

I can’t believe that she would go so low.

She would die. Why didn’t she care?!

She always seemed so cheerful and yet this was probably hanging over her head the whole time.

What about Sehun?

What about me?

I opened the door and suddenly she croaked “wait.”

I turned around to face her.

“You can’t say something so nasty and just leave like that.  You know why I didn’t get treatment? Because, I want a purpose to live. My purpose to live is to sing, and you know what happens if I get surgery? My ability to sing is taken away. I wake up everyday and am glad that I can sing one more song that day. If that’s snatched away from me then there’s no reason to live anyway.” I didn’t understand everything she said because she mixed some mandarin in, but I understood most of it.

“How lame. Something like that isn’t worth it! It’s not worth risking you’re life!”

“Lame? Not worth it? You sure as hell wouldn’t know if it’s worth it or not because you don’t have a purpose. You don’t have a dream. That’s what’s actually lame.”

She pushed me aside and stormed out.

I sighed and sat down. There was no reason to go after her. No reason to fight with her more.

I stared at the big cloud painting for the second time today. It was my comfort when I was down.

This comfort started back when I first became a trainee.

I don’t know why, but it made me feel like I could do anything.

Anything I ever wanted to accomplish. It made me feel like everything was okay.

I guess she was right when she said I ha no goals.

Nothing to live for.

A life not worth living.

That’s what she didn’t want.

It was reasonable I guess. She didn’t want to be like me. I mean who would?

I’m not trying to pity myself here, it’s just that I feel pathetic. And it’s true that I am.

I needed a dream. 

Another short update o: 

La la la, Idk why I'm making them short ;_; 

Anyway. I'll probably update again soon, since it's such a short one o: