“He’s doing it again,” Onew murmured to Key.

“Maybe it takes some time to work properly,” Jonghyun said from the other side of him.

The three of them were sitting at the dining table opposite Taemin and Minho. They were all observing Taemin who was dutifully eating dinner but with a faraway look on his face and vacant eyes.

“He doesn’t even know we’re talking about him,” Onew worried.

“Taemin, Taemin-ah!” Minho called. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine hyung,” Taemin said emotionlessly.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing.”

After eating, they decided to watch a movie.

“Star Wars!” shouted Onew.

“No, no I downloaded a new one last night! The Hunger Games!” shouted Jonghyun, running into his room to get his USB.

“Want some juice?” Minho asked Taemin, who nodded.

Key narrowed his eyes as he watched Minho carefully pour out and give a glass of juice to Taemin.

“Popcorn, popcorn!’ sang Onew, heading toward the kitchen leaving Minho, Key and Taemin alone on the couch.

Key put his arm around Taemin and felt triumphant when Taemin tilted his head to rest in the crook of Key’s neck. He hadn’t really forgiven Taemin for what he had said back at the psychiatrist’s office and had been expecting an apology. He was a bit miffed that Taemin hadn’t even tried to make it up to him. But then, Taemin hadn’t really been talking to anyone, quietly puttering around with that blank expression. The doctor had said that the antidepressants would probably have that effect on him in the first few days, but Taemin had been walking around in a daze for a week, and it disturbed Key knowing it was because his baby was drugged up.

“How are you feeling Minnie?” Key muttered into Taemin’s silky hair.

“I’m fine,” came Taemin’s neutral reply.

He wished his hyungs would stop asking him that, but oddly, he didn’t feel annoyed.  Weirdly, he felt like his mind was surrounded by cotton wool, unable to really feel anything except being relaxed. His appetite had come back, and he couldn’t remember the last time he had slept so well. He knew Key wanted an apology. He promised he wouldn’t tell anyone. A little silent treatment never hurt, thought Taemin.

Key ran his fingers through Taemin’s hair, marvelling at it’s softness as Onew and Jonghyun made the appropriate gasps and noises as they were fully absorbed in the movie. Minho on the other hand, was less than impressed.

“This is so fake and nothing is happening,” he complained.

“Then don’t watch,” Onew responded, eyes glued to the screen.

“Fine. Taemin, want to hang out in my room?”

“Sure,” Taemin said, quickly rising and shaking off Key’s hand.

“Key, do you want to come?” asked Minho.

“He doesn’t want to,” answered Taemin casually.

Minho gave a curious glance from Taemin to Key, who sat there open mouthed  and shrugged.

Key was shocked.  Did Taemin not want to be with him? Key frowned as he watched the two boys walk away. He knew exactly why though. He knew Taemin was avoiding him because Taemin knew Key wanted to discuss his depression. Taemin always swerved from that subject, and Key knew he was only going with Minho because Minho was too nice to bring it up.

“Don’t you like Key?” asked Minho as they sat on his bed.

“He’s annoying me at the moment,” Taemin answered, kicking the soccer ball Minho had in his room. “Hyung, you know those pills the doctor gave me?”

Minho nodded. “You have been taking them right?”

“Yeah, but I don’t like them. They make me feel so flat.”

“You might need time to get used to them or something.”

“No hyung,” Taemin sighed. “I can’t feel anything when I’m on them. I don’t feel…sad anymore but I don’t really get excited either.”

“So?” questioned Minho.

“When I dance... I do it because I love the thrill of people watching me and making them happy. That’s what drives me to become better and to dance better on stage and in front of fans. All that excitement gets my heart racing and I just try harder! With these pills.. . I don’t think I will dance really well when I’m on them.”

“Taemin, don’t you even think about it. You have to take them!”

“I know,” muttered Taemin. “I thought Key was supposed to be the umma.”

“This isn’t about bossing you around Taemin! You have to take them. You can dance in your sleep, some pills won’t stop you from outshining the rest of us, like usual.”

Taemin punched Minho playfully on the shoulder.

Key had finally fallen asleep. Taemin opened his eyes quickly as he heard Key breathing steadily beside him. He flipped over to face him.He’s actually really good looking, Taemin mused. He smiled as he leaned in and gave him a swift peck on the cheek. He had to move fast, he had drunken two coffees and a soft drink when the members hadn’t been watching for this. He was wired up with all the sugar and caffeine in his body.

He silently swung off the bed and grabbed the bottle of pills off his nightstand. He tiptoed out of his room, his ears straining to make sure that Key was still breathing and that no one else was awake in the house.

When he got out of the bedroom door he sprinted to the kitchen, pulling out one of the drawers where he had stashed a packet of mints a couple of hours before. With his heart beating with adrenaline in his chest, he quickly emptied the bottle of pills into an empty chip packet that Onew had left lying around. He figured that this way if someone was taking out the trash or even just opened the lid to the bin they wouldn’t see any pills and suspect. He tossed the chip packet filled with antidepressants into the bin and started filling up his bottle with the mints. He started screwing the bottle closed, his hands jittery with nerves as he mentally congratulated himself from not getting caught.

“Yah, what are doing here Taemin?” asked a voice suddenly.

Taemin jumped in fear and let out a choked gasp, hastily shoving the bottle now full of mints into the waistband of his pants.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Key sleepily said, coming over and wrapping his arms around Taemin’s back. “Why are you here?”

Taemin let out a desperate whimper as he clutched the hidden bottle.

“What are you holding?” Key asked.  “What are you doing? Tell me now.”

Taemin thought quickly, his mind whirring.

“My stomach hurts,” he whispered, hiding his face. “I don’t know what to do,” he added, trying to account for the nervous tone of his voice.

“Poor baby,” Key cooed drowsily, squeezing Taemin. “I’ll look after you. Go back to bed and I’ll warm up some milk.”

Taemin hurried back to their bedroom and plonked the bottle of mints on his bedside table. He lay down, heart pumping. What had he done? He really was crazy. But he didn’t want to take those pills. He curled up on his side and felt utterly lost. He had no idea what he was supposed to do.

“I bought the milk,” Key murmured as he carefully walked into the room.

Taemin stayed curled up in his side, despair washing over him. He wished he could tell Key the truth but he just couldn’t.

“Want to sit up and drink some?” Key asked.

“No,” whispered Taemin.

“It’s okay Taemin, I’ll help you,” he said, reaching for Taemin.

“No, don’t touch me,” Taemin whimpered, curling up smaller and burrowing into the blankets. He felt so guilty lying to Key. Key was such an honest person. And Taemin knew he was throwing back the words that he had said before to try hurt Key so that he would stop. I’m sorry Key, I’m so sorry, his heart cried.

Key felt a lump in his throat. Did Taemin not like him anymore? But he had kissed him. He couldn’t have changed his mind so fast… he had the sinking feeling that maybe his fears were true- that Key liked Taemin more than Taemin liked Key.

“Okay,” Key answered unsteadily, walking to his side of the bed and lying in a position where he was facing away from Taemin.

Both boys swore that if the other wasn’t there, they would’ve started crying.

In the morning, Onew had something important to say over breakfast.

“We have Taemin and Key’s comeback stage on Music Bank on Friday,” he said. “Prepare yourselves.”

This was why he had done it, Taemin thought as he swallowed two mints in front of an approving but oblivious Minho.

“I can’t wait,” Taemin smiled.

looong chapter! But my story is finally getting to the main point now :) :)  loving all the comments! Do you think i should write more in Key's POV? I feel like i write too much in Taemin's perspective :/

Haha I thought it was funny when I was writing Taemin swapping his BOTTLE of pills and then Key comes in calling him his baby and heating up milk. I was like oommmggg the baby metaphor is tooo strong! Haha :)

Comment and i reply in a wall post :D