Taemin fluttered his eyelashes, but found it too tiring to open his eyes, so he kept them closed. He was still so, so tired. And at the moment he was sweating and felt sickeningly hot, but he knew that in a few moments he could start shivering and feel like he was sickeningly frozen as well.

Aargh. It was too hot. He tried to push off whatever was covering him and was frustrated when he became tangled in material.

“Not again,” he heard someone sigh softly before the covers were put on him again.

He groaned. He had tried to get the blanket off, not the other way around. Oh well. He was too tired to fight it.

“Sorry,” the person said close to his ear, and he felt something soft press against his cheek briefly.

He his dry lips and felt himself slipping off to sleep again.

When he opened his eyes next it was to silence. He stomach rumbled and the room was lit with the dimmed sunlight that had filtered through the curtains. He blinked. His head felt light, and he felt a bit disorientated but okay. He looked to the right of him to see Minho sprawled out in a chair by his bed, his mouth open as he slept soundly. Taemin thought he looked a bit like a goldfish and had to smile.

“Hyung…” he tried, surprised at his croaky voice. “Hyung!”

Minho shot up and stared at Taemin.

“Oh.. Taemin, you’re awake! I have to find Key!”

Taemin watched bemusedly as Minho fell out of the chair in his haste to run out the door.

The door opened again and Taemin couldn’t help smiling widely at the face he saw. His heart literally skipped a beat and he had the tingles that tickled his insides. He tried to get up on his elbows.

“Key!” he cried, grinning. “I missed you!”

Taemin realised his words didn’t really make sense when he hadn’t gone anywhere, but it had felt like an eternity since he had seen Key’s face. He was so beautiful, so manly and graceful, and those eyes and refined smile.. .he wanted to squeal.

He laughed as he was engulfed by Key in a bear hug, that citrus scent he knew and loved surrounding him. He closed his eyes. He felt like himself again.
“Mianhe Taemin, I’m so sorry, so sorry baby, I’m so sorry, I love you,” Key repeated over and over again. Taemin smiled as the rest of his hyungs piled into the room, all wearing the same guilty but relieved expression.

“Are you feeling better now Taemin?” asked Onew gently.

“Of course hyung,” Taemin said, lying on his back again. He was still tired. He patted Key’s back, who still had not let go of him.  “How long was I asleep?”

“A week,” answered Jonghyun. “We were getting really worried.”

Taemin gasped. A week? He knew he had been asleep and sick for ages, but he didn’t know how long it had been.

“Taemin I’m sorry,” blurted out Minho. “I’m so sorry. I don’t have a problem with you being gay. I didn’t mean to say that. I was just frustrated.”

“It’s okay,” Taemin nodded. Truthfully, when he remembered Minho’s words it still gave a pang in his heart, but he could get over it.

“I’m so sorry too,” Onew said. “I’m your hyung and I didn’t even look after you properly.”

“It’s okay Onew hyung,” said Taemin, puzzled. “You didn’t even do anything.”

“That’s the problem,” Onew said sorrowfully.

“Hyung, please stop being dramatic,” laughed Taemin.

Jonghyun shook his head. “Taeminnie.. Taemin I was so scared. I found you that day. I thought you were dead at first. I’m so sorry Taemin, I’ve been such an to you. The thought of you being gone…please don’t ever do that again Taemin!”

Taemin chewed his inner cheek as he watched Jonghyun fight back tears. “I’m sorry hyung,” he said softly.

“No don’t, I’m the one who should be apologising,” said Jonghyun. “I’m so, so sorry. The person who knows yourself the best is you. You know what will make you the happiest- I shouldn’t pretend to know better.”

Taemin nodded. “I know hyung. It’s okay.”

Onew took a deep breath. “Taemin, what were you doing by the river? Did you fall in? Did someone do something to you? What happened?”

A silence filled the room. Key was still on Taemin’s chest. He had been wondering about this so many times.  He hadn’t known what to think. All he knew was that it had been his fault. His fault that Taemin had run out into the storm. And how it was his fault that Taemin had been lying in bed crying in his sleep for a week.

“I,” he took a deep breath. He decided to come clean. He was sick of hiding things from everyone anyway, but he still felt the prick of fear. He decided to ignore it.

“I went into the river,” he stated simply.

“Wh.. why?” asked Minho, after a pause.

“I tried to drown myself.”

A silence filled the room again. Taemin gnawed on his lip as he saw Jonghyun furiously blinking and wiping his eyes with his sleeve. Minho had gone pale and Onew was staring at a spot on the floor, and Taemin knew he was trying to digest what he had said. Key was squeezing him even tighter. Oddly, he felt relieved. Still scared, but relieved that they now knew. And he didn’t really care about how they reacted.

“I won’t do it again,” he said. “But… yeah.”

Key started shaking on top of him. Was he crying? He felt bad. Key was crying because of him.

“I’m sorry Key,” he said. “Don’t cry.”

“Don’t apologise!” yelled Key, hiding his eyes, sobbing. “Don’t.. please don’t. Don’t feel sad. Ever again. All I do is make you feel sad. And I’m doing it again. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I love you but I’m sorry for everything I have done and said. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t cry,” said Taemin contritely, reaching up to try wipe at Key’s cheeks. “When you cry, it makes me want to cry.”

Taemin was shocked when Key jerked out of his touch.

“Don’t cry. Ever again. You always end up crying because of me. Don’t do it again.”

Taemin tried to get up but was stopped by Key pushing him down. Key’s harsh sobs were the only sounds in the room.

“Keey,” he wheedled, nearly in tears. Key’s words made him feel like crying. He understood them, but he didn’t know why Key was saying them.

They were interrupted by Taemin’s stomach growling.

“Are you hungry?” asked Key. “I’ll go make something. Rest.”

Taemin’s arms felt horribly empty when Key got up quickly, wiping his eyes and walked out. He felt horribly empty when Key walked out. He wanted to grab Key and pull him down into the bed with him and just be them two forever.

The members surrounded Taemin, sitting on his bed in silence.

Key came back after a while and handed Taemin a bowl of mushroom soup, helping him eat but not looking him in the eyes. Taemin wanted to ask what was wrong, but he was too tired.

“Are you tired Taemin?” asked Minho. “Want us to get out?”

Taemin nodded, his eyes closed as he lay back on the bed. He was glad when the members left and Key was the only one remaining, tucking Taemin in and fixing Taemin’s hair with his warm fingers but still not meeting his eyes.

“I forgive you Key,” he tried. “I love you.”

“Don’t,” said Key, shaking his head. Taemin noticed that Key’s eyes were red and raw.

“Go to sleep,” Key said watery, Taemin’s cheek. “See you soon.”

“I love you,” Taemin said again, his eyes drifting shut.

“Don’t,” Key whispered. “Don’t love me.”

A/N Sorry sorry for the long gaps between updating! I've been working full time because it's semester break, and all of my workmates are sick/are having family problems, so I have to full in. All i have been thinking to get me through the days is 'think of the money.. think of the money.' But now they are all getting better and I finally can have my old hours back and have time to fool around again= write my secret fanfiction. Phew!

Oh deaaarrrr, why am I dragging it on again?? But don't worry. It will be over soon.. and when I mean over, I mean all over! I'm trying to write towards the end now. What sort of story should I write next?? ofc it will be keytae taekey... :P :P

and please comment about what you thought of this chapter and the whole story in general ppplleeeaaasssseeee aaaaaaaahh