Key slammed his fist in the door as he heard Taemin run out of the dorm. He knew he shouldn’t be mad at him; it wasn’t his fault. He got up and made his way to their room, glad to have it for himself. He picked up Taemin’s phone off the floor and absently placed it on the bedside table. Maybe a hot shower would cheer him up.

Taemin had an inner peace that he hadn’t felt in a long time. It was like as if everything was going to be okay. I should’ve done this a long time ago, he thought giddily, hiccups still racking through him but the tears gone. They would find him in this river, and his body would be cold but unmarked. They would go to his funeral, cry for him and remember him forever. He knew he would remember and love them forever too. He took off his watch. 6:15pm. His time of death. He took the watch off as it wasn’t his and gently laid it on a rock next to him. He took off his necklace, all the bracelets he had on except that wooden bead one that his mother had given him. He didn’t want to lose that.

Key took off his rings and his earrings and laid them on the bathroom counter, turning on the shower to let the water heat up. The steam was making him feel better already. He looked at himself in the mirror. Please God, he prayed, closing his eyes. He hadn’t prayed in a long time. Please let this all work out. Help me stop getting angry so easily. Thank you for letting me keep my job. Now please look after my mother, my father, my grandparents, and please let me continue to make them happy. Most of all, please look after Taemin. Bless all those that I love with your never ending grace.

Taemin knelt, shivering violently. Soon, the water would hold him still.

“Look after umma, appa, Taesun, SHINee, all my friends and Key. I’m sorry I’m doing this. I know this is a sin. But I know that you will forgive me. I will see you soon.”

He opened his eyes. "I love you so much Key," he said outloud, his heart throbbing painfully because he knew Key would never hear him, and how he would never see Key again. "I love you so much. Please think of me sometimes. I'll always think of you."

The time was now. He walked toward the bank and didn’t stop when the water crept onto his boots.

Key stuck his leg into the shower, testing out the water. Perfect! He got in and relished the hot water pounding on his skin.

Taemin forced himself to keep going as the water got into his shoes and submerged his feet. The floor of the river was disgustingly soft and gripped his soles. It was hard lifting his legs. The river water was actually warmer than the rain and the outside. The current was so strong he had a hard time keeping his balance. He was getting a little scared.

“You make me want to make up, break up, shake up,” he sang underneath his breath to try calm himself and pictured himself walking towards Key.

“Replay, replay, replay!” Key sang loudly in the shower, smiling as he remembered the time when he was supposed to hand the mic to Taemin on stage after his dance solo and it had failed.It had been a blind pass, with Taemin reaching behind his back at the wrong time and Key had ended up dancing with two microphones. Back then he was mortified. Now it was just funny. Thinking about Taemin made him feel happy and smiley already. He promised himself that when he got out he was going to find Taemin, give him a huge hug on that slim frame and kiss him repeatedly until he broke out into that sweet grin.

“ ,” Taemin said. He was waist deep and his feet were stuck. The water clogged up his jeans and made them heavier. The wind kept rushing through him and the rain was lashing him repeatedly. It was getting dark. Taemin started to cry again. This wasn’t what he wanted. He was so cold. He wished he could feel Key hold him and never let him go. He wished he could feel Key kiss him once more. He wished he could see his dog, see his brother and his parents and tell them how much he loved them, dance onstage with those hot lights beaming on him with all the SM groups, laughing and smiling while the crowd chanted his name and hot sweat dripped down the side of his face. Most of all, he wanted to be warm again, smothered in Key’s pulsing heat and bury his face into Key’s soft neck that would smell like citrus. What he would do to be warm right now. He wished that he had written a note.

 He was chilled to the bone, his teeth were chattering painfully and he was shivering uncontrollably. “ me, I’m so stupid,” Taemin cursed brokenly. He didn’t want to die. He did NOT want to die. He tried to lift his leg up and felt a spurt of unexpected relief as it came unstuck.

But the current was so strong that once he lifted his leg, he became unbalanced. His heart jumped in fear as he lost his footing and became submerged in the dirty water, unable to fight against the river’s strong hands dragging him downstream.

How will Taemin even get out? When will Key and the rest of SHINee even realise Taemin is in danger? Will this be another repeat of Taemin being depressed and having panic attacks and Key and Taemin constantly fighting and having obstacles? Gurrl please, I have more imagination then that ;)

This was a hard chapter to write because i don't think I put enough emotion into it. It feels like I just described a sad movie scene,complete with the sad orchestral string music and jump cuts between the characters both doing the same things as they prepare to get into water. Haha can you tell that i am studying film atm?

But i am a bit sad that there isn't enough emotion in it, especially since i have a friend that tried to commit suicide and chickened out halfway. I think I can understand her so well, but it frustrates me that i can't put it into words. She is fine now, but there was a lot of blood :''''''''( she also did this during school and it really freaked me out :''''''''''''''''''(. We drifted apart after that because i didn't like her friends and we go to different universities. i hope she is still better now, but I don't think i could ever write well enough to capture anything close to what she was feeling.

Wait patiently for my next chapter :) , and PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK GAAAAAAAHHHH   i <3 you all AAAHH

<3