Key hummed a soothing tune as he held Taemin tightly. He looked at Taemin’s face that was nuzzled into Key. He had stopped hyperventilating and had calmed down to post-cry hiccups that shook his skinny frame. His eyes were closed and puffy and his face was blotchy but Key still thought he was beautiful.

His heart had been hurting too, and all the time he had been comforting Taemin his mind had been whirring. The manager had said that this performance was vital not because of their fans, but because it would affect their contracts. Key was nervous thinking about what would happen to them. They had both been suspended before. He was sure now that they would have a possibility of getting kicked out.

“We’re back,” Jonghyun’s voice rang out and Key could hear the rest of SHINee piling into the room. Taemin whimpered and his face deeper into his shoulder.

“Let’s go home now Taemin,” Key consoled.

“I can’t go out there, I can’t show my face,” Taemin said, panicking.

“We’ll shield you. We got manager to bring the car around, no one will see you except us, we promise,” Onew said. “Come on Taemin let’s go home and rest.”

Key tried to get up and lift Taemin along with him. Taemin was shaky on his feet and clung to Key.

“Just one step, one step after the other,” encouraged Key, his arm securely around Taemin whose head was still buried into Key’s shoulder.

Key unlocked the cubicle door and could feel Taemin tensing.

“No, no I can’t,” whimpered Taemin. “I can’t go out. I can’t let anyone see me.”

“It’s only Onew hyung, Jonghyun hyung and Minho-goon out there,” Key comforted. “And they know and have seen everything about you . There’s nothing you can do that will surprise them.”

Taemin still stayed rooted to the spot, holding onto Key even tighter.

“Aw, Taemin, it’s okay,” Key was overcome by a wave of sad sympathy. “I’m here,” he soothed quietly, wrapping his arms protectively around him.

“Just carry him like you did last time,” Jonghyun suggested, tentatively inching forward to rub Taemin’s back. “It’s okay Taemin-goon, no one will see you.”

Onew and Minho cautiously came closer and started to pat Taemin’s hair and rub his arm. The mood inside the bathroom was sorrowful, all of them upset and unhappy. That everything had turned out this way. That this situation would not be over and only escalate.

Key sighed and bent slightly to sweep Taemin off his legs, steadying him in his arms as Taemin locked his arms around Key’s shoulders and hid his face.

“Let’s go,” Minho said, all of them forming a close circle around Taemin and Key as they walked out of the bathroom, through the corridor and into the brisk night air.

Their manager was waiting by the silver van as SHINee neared. His face was pinched and tight.

“Key, Taemin, I honestly don’t know what will happen to you two. You have a meeting in front of Lee Soo Man next week regarding your contracts. Until then, he has instructed that SHINee will have no schedule and not allowed to leave their dorm. I’m sorry, but that’s his orders.” He bowed deeply as the boys stood there in silence. They had been expecting this but it was still a shock for it to actually happen. The enormity of the situation settled heavily into their stomachs painfully.

Their manager bowed, made his apologies again and left as they packed into their van, Taemin having fallen silent, his breathing calmer.

Key hugged Taemin tightly not only for Taemin’s comfort but his own. He needed something to hold.

“How did the performance go?” he asked quietly.

“It was bad,” Jonghyun said bluntly. “Manager was calm back then, but he was freaking out along with everyone else backstage, swearing and yelling at us. I’ve never seen the PD and the scriptwriters on that show so angry before. When we got on, I sang Taemin’s parts while Onew hyung sang your singing parts and Minho did your rapping bits , so that was okay. The dancing and our places though.. I don’t even want to think about it.”

“What will happen to me and Key?” a watery voice asked.

All attention was quickly diverted to the pair of red rimmed, wide brown eyes that were peeking out from Key’s shoulder. “What will happen to all of us?”

“I don’t know. We have to wait until the meeting next week to see,” Onew gently replied.

“I’m sorry,” Taemin said, his voice quivering. “It’s all my fault. I’m so so sorry..”

“What’s done is done,” sighed Onew. “We just have to take one day at a time.”

“What actually happened back there Taemin?” Minho asked worriedly. “Do you need to see a doctor or something?”

Key shuffled awkwardly in his seat. “Is it okay if I tell them, baby?”

Taemin nodded.

“Baby?” echoed Minho, confused. 

“Taemin had a panic attack. Physically he’s fine but his mind sort of had a freak out and panicked, so it sent all this adrenaline to the other parts of his body so it would feel like he was actually under massive strain.”

“I’m sorry Taemin,” Onew said. “What can we do to make it better?”

“Well, we could get more antidepressants, he’s thrown all of his away and hasn’t been taking them for God knows how long,” Key replied dryly.

“I saw him taking some yesterday,” Minho interjected. “He hasn’t thrown them away.”

“Hyung, they’re mints,” Taemin admitted in a quavering voice. “I threw my real pills away.”

“What? Why?” Jonghyun asked loudly. “Don’t you want to get better?”

Minho’s brow furrowed into a frown as it slowly dawned on him.

“Oh no, Taemin don’t tell me it was because you thought you couldn’t dance when you took them,” Minho’s voice filled with realisation and bitterness. “You promised me you would take them! And all of those times when you took your… mints in front of me, were you trying to trick me? Oh my God, Taemin!”

Taemin started sniffling again and closed his eyes, tears leaking out. He knew how much Minho trusted him and how much he valued honesty. He hadn’t wanted to hurt Minho, but it had been inevitable. Key pulled Taemin closer and tried to wipe his tears away.

“Yah, Minho, talk about wrong time and place. Lay off,” he said firmly. Key understood how Minho felt but this was not the right time to say it, especially after Taemin’s panic attack when he was feeling extremely vulnerable.

“I’m sorry hyung,” Taemin replied, using his sleeve to swipe at his cheeks.

“How could you just trick me like that, I thought we were closer than brothers! I thought you were more mature that. I’m so disappointed in you, Taemin!”

Taemin couldn’t answer, he was crying again into Key.

“Stop it Minho,” Jonghyun interrupted. “He didn’t even tell Key.”

“This is different!” protested Minho hotly. “I made him promise to take his pills! But he’s just been playing me all this time?”

“Minho, that’s enough,” ordered Onew. “Taemin’s not well at the moment. This is not the right time to get angry.”

Minho shook his head and looked out the window, wearing a stormy expression on his face and biting the inside of his cheek to stop himself from arguing.

Key was flustered, not knowing what to do to alleviate the situation so he settled on rubbing Taemin’s back continuously and humming as he felt Taemin’s hot tears through his shirt.

 Sort of a boring chapter but it's time for Minho to enter :) I'm liking him more and more recently, he used to be my least favourite SHInee member public-image-wise :) Please comment...do you want more Taemin breakdowns or is this enough? I would like to see Taemin sick but that's only because I like key-umma idea. Maybe after some Taekey/Keytae action and y'all forget about this haha :)