They emerged from their car one by one, bristling and smiling at the cool night air.

“Can’t wait to get this thing started!” cried Jonghyun as the rest of the boys shivered in anticipation walking to the venue.

“It’s going to be great, I can’t wait!” enthused Taemin, not looking at Key. They still hadn’t exactly forgiven each other over their argument.

They walked quickly through the cramped back door and the corridors backstage with their ill, too bright lighting, people constantly squeezing through the narrow space. SHINee and their entourage of staff were directed into a room where the boys quickly sat at the makeup stations, ready to go.

Key was the last to sit down. He had been dawdling all the way, chewing the inside of his cheek and repeating the lyrics over and over in his head. He was always nervous before a performance.

“Nerves?” asked Jonghyun.

“Yeah,” Key answered.

“How can you be? We’ve done this so many times,” Taemin said.

“I can go through breathing exercises with you if you want,” Jonghyun offered. “It always calms me down.”

Key took deep breaths with Jonghyun, his queasiness interrupted by the small burst of pleasure he got when he caught Taemin eyeing them jealously.

“Minho, let’s go see if any groups are here,” Taemin said glaring at Key, walking out of the room with Minho following him.

Key smiled smugly.

Onew jumped up and down, pumped up.

“Where’s Minho and Taemin?” he asked. “We’re going to start soon! We need them here to get ready!”

“Being immature,” Key said, fixing his hair in the mirror carefully. “They’ve gone to see the other groups.”

“Oh,” Jonghyun said in shock as his mobile interrupted his vocal exercises. “Lucky, lucky! I was about to turn this off. Minho is calling? What have they done now?” he wondered out loud as he answered it.

“Hyung,” Minho’s nervous voice came through the receiver. “Hyung, there’s something really wrong with Taemin.”

“What’s wrong with him?” asked Jonghyun.

“What?” Key immediately picked up the conversation. “Put it on loudspeaker now.”

“He went to the bathroom and now he won’t come out of the stall.  We’ve been in here for 20 minutes now and he won’t come out no matter what I say, I don’t know what to do I can hear him crying or something, Please come-“

“What floor are you on?” Key interrupted

“Downstairs,” he answered. “He’s getting me freaked out too. And don’t you dare bring any cameras or anyone with you-“

“We know, we’re coming,” Jonghyun hung up, sprinting along with the other members out the door as their staff protested.

Taemin sat on the toilet seat, trembling. He couldn’t breathe. What if I can’t do this? What if SM decide to drop me? He wiped the sweat off his forehead and tried to calm his racing heart, panting. Why was he like this? He could feel his hands shaking in his hair.

“Oh no, oh no,” he wheezed out. That ache in his chest he had been trying to ignore was getting stronger. It was now stabbing him sharply everytime he tried to inhale. His hands were now tingling and going numb. I’m having a heart attack, Taemin thought. I’m having a heart attack and I’m going to die. I want Key.

“Oh no oh no oh no,” he repeated quickly and breathlessly, tears gathering in his eyes. He gave a cry as the knife of pain slammed into his chest again, only this time it was digging deeper, the throbs of pain spreading through the rest of his body.. He squeezed his eyes shut from the pain, so hard he could only see red static. Gasping, he could feel the tears on his cheeks but he didn’t even think about them. He clutched at his chest and sank to the floor. His hands felt had pins and needles as he fisted them into his shirt. The cubicle was closing in on him.  The walls were crushing  him, smothering him and squeezing the air out of his lungs like a balloon. He couldn’t breathe he was having a heart attack it hurt so much he was going to die he wanted Key he wanted Key he was going to die

“Taemin are you okay?” Minho’s worried voice drifted into his ear from behind the cubicle door.

Taemin was choking on his sobs, his tears and mucus catching the back of his throat as he rubbed his chest repeatedly.
‘Are you okay? I’m coming in-”

“NO!” screamed Taemin, his full sobs getting torn out of his throat, his voice coarse and husky, his face contorting and a never ending flow of tears cascading down his face. “NO!”

“I’m breaking this door down-“

“NO NO I WANT KEY I WANT KEY!!”

“What-“

“GET ME KEY NOW!” Taemin screamed, crying.

He heard Minho leave the bathroom and Taemin screamed out his sobs, crying and crying. He couldn’t think straight. He felt dizzy, like the time he fainted. He could hear the blood pulsing through his ear, see the flashes of red light in his eyes every time he clenched his eyes in time to the throbbing pain in his chest he could feel cold sweat on the back of his neck and running down his back he wanted Key he wanted Key

“Hey baby, Hey baby,” he could hear Key’s voice. “What’s wrong?’

“Key!” he sobbed. “Key!”

“I’m coming baby, I’m coming,”

“Climb in through the other cubicle,” he heard Minho say.

Taemin heard Key climbing in and sobbed harder, his breath hitching crazily as he hyperventilated. Finally he felt Key beside him, lifting him up with strong but gentle hands into a sitting position, firmly tucking Taemin into him and rubbing his back.

‘I can’t breathe Key I can’t breathe! I think I’m dying! I can’t breathe!” Taemin sobbed, hyperventilating into Key’s shoulder.

“Yes you can Taemin, just relax, just breathe,” Key murmured soothingly as Taemin clutched key desperately.

“No you  don’t understand, I’m dying, I’m dying!” Taemin screamed into Key, his words dissolving into loud sobs.

Key held Taemin tighter to him, cradling Taemin’s head and softly shushing him as Taemin convulsively cried, his skinny body shaking with fear. “Shh baby, shh, you need to calm down. I think you’re having a panic attack honey. It’s fine, you need to calm down..”

Key started to rock them both gently, making reassuring noises and talking to Taemin like he would to a wounded animal, promising it was okay, promising it was fine, promising him the moon and anything that would come to mind.

Taemin cried into Key. He felt like Key was his lifeline. If he let go he would be swept away and drown in his own hysteria. He tried to calm his breathing. Key was here. Key would make everything better. He always did.

“Key, Taemin, we have to be onstage in literally 10 minutes,” Onew’s voice said. “Can you guys come out?”

“NO!” screamed Taemin. “No no no no no!”

“We’re staying,” Key said calmly. “Go without us.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

The SHINee members left and Taemin started to wail turbulently, Key hugging him tighter and kissing his hair as Taemin buried his face into Key’s chest.

“It’s okay Taemin, it’s just us two now, it’s only us. Only Key and Taemin. It’s okay, I’m here now, you’re fine, I’ve got you,” Key soothed repeatedly, making sure his voice sounded like liquid honey. He was positive he knew what this was. His mother had told him about these and he had read about them in her nurse’s handbook.

“I’m dying,” Taemin repeated.

“No you’re not, you’re having a panic attack sweetie. And it’s going to get better soon,” Key comforted.

Taemin continued to sob as Key rocked the shaking boy.

‘It’s all my fault Key,” he breathed frenziedly.

“No it’s not, it’s okay.”

“No it is! I haven’t been taking my pills, look!” He brokenly jerked the bottle of pills out of his pocket and shook them. “I filled them with mints and threw my pills away. I’m sorry Key I’m sorry!”

“It’s okay Taemin,” Key murmured.

“I really am crazy, I know they were meant to make me better but I couldn’t dance with them. I lied to you that time in the kitchen I was really throwing away my pills. I wanted to tell you the truth but I’m stupid and crazy and had to keep lying-“

“This has nothing to do with the pills. And stop saying you’re crazy. You’re not,” Key tried to reason calmly.

“I’m sorry hyung, I’m sorry, so sorry, I’m sorry for everything. I’m so sorry…”

“It’s okay Taemin. Just relax. Just breathe. Stop apologising..”

“I’m so messed up hyung, I’m so broken. How can you even be here? I’m just trouble and complicated and drama all the time…”

“I don’t mind if it’s drama about you, Taemin,” Key said simply. “I would go through anything if it was for you. I want to be with you. And you’re not broken. You just need someone to hold you together for a while because you’re having a tough time by yourself. And I want to be the one that makes you happy because you make me so happy.”

Taemin breathed in Key’s reassuring scent, his eyes still closed. “I didn’t mean all those things I said before. I’m sorry hyung I’m sorry.. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to show you that I love you,”

“You love me?” Key sounded shocked but pleased.

“I’m sorry-“

Right then they heard the muffled screams of the crowd. The beginning notes of Sherlock reverberated through the room.

“Oh my god,” Taemin cried, sobs overwhelming him again as their song played and Key continued to rock him. 

Tell me tell me what did you think?? PLEASE COMMENT AHHH AND TELL ME!!