Karina.

I can’t really remember the first time I started feeling things for Win. Was it earlier today when I noticed that she was eye-ing Jaehyun and I? Was it because of her efforts in sending me reviewers despite us taking different courses? Was it when she offered me her shoulder to lean on during the party and told me that I can rest as long as she’s there? Was it because she never fails to make me feel comfortable and safe whenever I’m with her? Or was it way back when I, an absolute stranger to her, accidentally barged in their unit but still she took care of me wholeheartedly?

These feelings that I definitely am feeling for her is something that my 22-year-old self can’t thoroughly comprehend. 

I personally think that I am a very reserved type of person. I look at things logically before I decide on what actions I need to carry out. Pero ngayon, hindi ko alam kung bakit but Winter makes me want to be spontaneous and just go all out with certain things. 

Honestly speaking, una pa lang, I thought I was incapable of feeling things that are greater than caring for family or friends. I used to overthink this idea simula bata pa lang ako hanggang sa I accepted it na lang. It wasn’t that bad at all. I was so used to feeling empty but still showing people a front that’s absolutely the exact opposite of what I am feeling inside. 

The only people that made me feel that I have a chance in feeling something was my family. Dad, Mom, and Ate Irene. They were my support system. The three pillars that helped me stand tall and not break. Until a year ago, my Dad decided to take away the only thing that's keeping me going.

He cheated on my Mom and picked his mistress above us, his own family. Kaya pala when I was staying with him in the US, he and his secretary were always together. It happened only a year ago kaya medyo fresh pa. Though, I don’t really care about him na. I just hope he gets the karma that he so much deserves. 

After my parents separated, I lost the will to become a lawyer. I used to drink a lot and had alcohol dependency for quite some time. Luckily, Ate Irene introduced me to modeling and acting. She basically saved me from the possibility of me ruining myself. I took workshops after workshops as per Ate’s advice. After quite some time, I got the hang of it and got scouted by Kim Entertainment, the same entertainment that Ate Irene works at. 

The night I mistakenly entered Win’s unit happened after the welcoming celebration of new talents in Kim Ent. Fate must be playing with me. I unconsciously entered the unit of the daughter of my boss. What an eventful night that was. I only had patches of memories about that night but I can clearly remember how Winter held my hair as I was vomiting sa comfort room nila and her giving me clothes and personal hygi