"Have you thought of some names jagi?" Winter asked her wife while they lay on their bed.

 

"I have jagi," Karina responded as she took out her phone to show her wife the names she had thought of.

 

Winter carefully read each one and smiled.

 

"These are beautiful ones, my jagi."

 

Sumiksik naman si Winter at niyakap si Karina. "I still can't believe we're finally starting our own family, jagiya"

 

"Me too jagi," sabi naman ni Karina at sabay na nga silang mag-asawa na naiyak.

 

 

 

 

 

"Bro, ako na," sabi naman ni Ryujin as she reached for the cup Winter was trying to get. May lakad kasi sina Karina, Yeji, at Ning dahil may reunion sila sa kanilang college.

 

"Kaya ko naman eh"

 

"Utos ng asawa mo na hindi ka dapat mapagod kaya sinusunod ko lang"

 

Sumimangot naman si Winter, pero hinayaan na ang kaibigan. Pagkaabot niya ng cup ay nagtimpla na siya ng tea.

 

"How are you feeling, bro?" Tanong ni Ryujin after settling down sa sala.

 

"Okay naman. My back's killing me, pero keri lang" sagot ni Winter while stretching her back on the couch.

 

Hindi naman mapigilin na mapangiti si Ryujin.

 

 

 

 

 

"How's the pregnancy coming along?"

 

"So far, wala na naman po masyadong cravings. It was hard the first few months, kasi minsan naweweirduhan ako sa gusto niya, and the morning sickness comes anytime of the day. Naawa na din po talaga ako kay Winter eh."

 

"That's quite normal, pero buti na lang nagiging okay na naman. Kelan nga ulit ang due date?" Tanong ni Taeyeon.

 

"As per our last doctor's visit, the expected delivery date is October 30, but pwede pa din daw pong mapaaga," sagot ni Karina.

 

"May mga discomfort pa ba?"

 

"Siguro yung pagbangon sa bed and pag-bend pero other than that, wala na naman po"

 

"That's good to hear naman anak. Have you asked about the gender na ba?"

 

"Actually, we chose not to, kasi no matter what naman po eh we will love him or her the same but NingSelle did since sila daw mag-aasikaso ng gender reveal."

 

 

 

 

 

"What if neutral colors na lang kaya? Since wala rin naman tayo parehong idea, then we can just buy specifics later on" suggestion ni Winter habang nagiikot sila sa mall, specifically sa baby section.

 

"Yeah, we can do that."

 

Nagtuloy sila sa pagikot at sa pagpili ng iba't ibang mga baby items. Napadaan sila sa mga isa pang section at namili nadin ng kulay.

 

May lumapit na isang saleslady at dinemo sa kanila kung paano isusuot yung baby carrier na napili nila. Unang sumubok si Winter.

 

"It's too big for my waist, jagi. Ikaw nga mag-try" sabi ni Winter while helping Karina put it on. Kaso ganun din at hindi nila ma-lock in place dahil sumobra padin ung lock sa partner nun.

 

"May iba pa naman pong options mga madam," sabi nung saleslady at tinuro na nga sila sa isa pang klase ng carrier. They both tried it on at nang mas maayos nga ang fit sa kanila ay kumuha na sila ng dalawa at nilagay na sa cart.

 

They stocked up on diapers, wipes, towels, baby bottles, and many more. Nagplace na din sila ng order for a crib, a changing area, and smaller cabinets at kung ano ano pang baby stuff.

 

When they got to the counter, medyo nagulat pa yung cashier dahil punung puno ang tatlong cart nila. They still have a few months, but they want to be prepared for everything. After their long transaction, ay may mga tumulong naman sa kanila na dalhin ang mga nabili sa kotse.

 

They encountered a problem when they got back to the condo building. Tatlong lalaki ang tumulong sa kanila kanina para lang mailagay sa sasakyan ang mga gamit nila and now na dalawa na lang sila and one of them is carrying the baby, how on earth would they bring everything up?

 

"Iwan na lang kaya muna natin dito ito? Hindi pa din naman tapos yung room eh" suggestion ni Winter.

 

"Sige. Then let's invite our friends this weekend for more muscle power" pagsangayon ni Karina.

 

So they made their way up and finally got inside their home at sabay na naupo sa couch. Dumating kasi sila sa mall when it opened, and it's now five in the afternoon.

 

"Order na lang din tayo jagi ha. We're both tired na din eh"

 

"Sure. What are you craving, ba?" Tanong nung isa bago yumakap sa tummy area ng asawa.

 

"Hmm. We want some pizza, some burgers, and some fries."

 

"Alright! A big pizza, burgers, and fries are coming up!"

 

At kinuha na nga nung isa ang kanyang phone at nag-place ng order.

 

 

 

 

 

They are now inside the clinic for the monthly checkup and are just waiting for the doctor. Malaki na din ang belly nung isa at hindi mapigilang hawakan ito nung isa.

 

"Someone's excited," sabi nung isa nang maramdaman niya ang pagsipa ng anak.

 

"We will see you soon, our little jellybean."

 

Pumasok na ang doctor at sinimulan na ang checkup.

 

"Baby Kim is very healthy, so I can say that you will have an easy delivery next month," sabi ng doctor habang nakatingin naman sa monitor sila Winter at Karina.

 

Nakisama din talaga ang anak nila at hindi nila kita kung anong gender nito. So aantayin na lang talaga nila mamaya sa gender reveal party hosted by Ningning and Giselle.

 

After their check-up, ay umuwi na sila sa condo kung saan inanatay na din sila ng kanilang pamilya at mga kaibigan.

 

 

 

 

 

A few months ago...

 

"Going through the process, I just want to set your expectations na pwedeng hindi maging successful kaagad ito. Historically, the chances are higher after several attempts. And I know that hindi magiging madali ito para sa inyong dalawa. Also, miscarriages also happen, so you both need to make sure you are both healthy. Hindi rin kasi magiging madali lalo at first time niyo pareho" sabi sa kanila ng doctor on their first IVF procedure.

 

Before Winter and Karina finally decided on this, they did a lot of research and had a lot of discussion and decisions to make. They also got some input from their families. And after months of finalizing everything, the decision was made, and they both agreed that they would both go through the process. Kaya naman, they readied themselves for the testing muna to harvest enough eggs from both of them.

 

"We perfectly understand, po doc. No matter how many attempts we make and how long it would take, it doesn't matter because we just really want to start a family," sabi ni Winter while holding Karina's hand.

 

Tumango ang doctor and prepared for the procedure.

 

 

 

 

 

Parehong kinakabahan sina Winter at Karina habang inaantay ang resulta ng pregnancy tests. Pwede namang isa lang, pero gusto nilang makasiguro. Minsan daw kasi hindi accurate ito. Kaya eto at nasa waiting game sila at nakatutok ang attention sa limang sticks na nakahilera sa bathroom counter.

 

When the timer went off, they checked the first one, which had a negative sign. Then came the second, which had a positive one, and the third, which had another positive sign. The fourth has a negative one, and the final stick shows the plus sign.

 

"3 on 2 jagi" naluluhang wika ni Winter.

 

"We had two negatives and three positives. That means..."

 

Hindi na natuloy ni Karina ang sasabihin dahil nawalan na ito ng malay. Buti na lang at nakayakap si Winter sa asawa at hindi ito bumagsak. Kaya namam binasa niya ang mukha ni Karina na nagising din kaagad.

 

"Jagiiiiii. We're pregnant!" Masayang balita ni Winter at halos hindi na sila magkakitaan ni Karina dahil sa mga luhang pumapatak sa kanilang mga mata.

 

Agad agad din silang umalis ng condo para pumunta sa kanilang ob-gyne, who confirmed that Winter is indeed pregnant.

 

That same night, ay may family gathering din talaga kina Winter at doon na nga nila nireveal ang masayang balita.

 

They just finished having dinner, and as usual, nag-aya ng inuman ang mga pinsan ni Winter na siya namang niyang tinanggihan.

 

"Oy Minjeong! Wag kang kj. Minsan na lang tayo magkita kita eh," sabi ni Yeri.

 

Nagkatinginan silang mag-asawa bago sabay na tumayo.

 

"She'll take a hard pass on alcohol for the next few months, po. Cause we are very happy to announce that she is now pregnant!" Karina then showed the rest of the family their baby's first picture.

 

Una ng yumakap ang nanay ni Winter. "My baby now has her own baby!" Mangiyak ngiyak nitong sabi.

 

At sunod sunod na nga silang niyakap.

 

 

 

 

 

A month into the pregnancy, nagulat na lang si Karina ng magising siya at nakitang umiiyak si Winter.

 

"Jagi, what's wrong?" Agad niya itong niyakap.

 

"I want to eat takoyaki, so I checked the kitchen but found out we didn't have the ingredients, so I tried ordering online, but it's late and they're all closed. Jagiiiiiiii"

 

Naisip naman kaagad ni Karina ang 24/7 supermarket malapit sa kanila, kaya nagbihis na sila kaagad so they could go out and make takoyaki.

 

Satisfied naman si Winter at pagkaubos nga ng pang.dose niyang takoyaki ay nahiga na ulit ito. Napailing na lang si Karina sa asawa.

 

A few days later, nagising na naman si Karina dahil naramdaman niyang wala si Winter sa tabi niya. Agad siyang bumangon at tinignan sa bathroom, kaso wala din siya doon. Kaya lumabas na siya ng kwarto at nakitang kumakaen ng ito ng fries na dinidip sa ice cream at nilalagyan ng ketchup while watching some cartoons.

 

"Jagi. What...is that?"

 

"Ice cream!" Masayang sabi ni Winter at inulit lang ang ginawa. At napa-iling na naman si Karina.

 

Her food cravings got weirder as the pregnancy progressed. Most of the time, ay madaling araw ito naghahanap ng ganun. And Karina learned the hard way when she denied her what she wanted to eat: lalo na nung naghanap si Winter ng Linga, which is a delicacy in Zambales.

 

"Jagi, can we buy them this weekend na lang? May important meetings kasi ako this week."

 

Tinignan siya ng masama ni Winter at nagsisimula ng maluha. "You don't love us anymore?" Sabi nito sabay hawak sa kanyang belly.

 

"No, baby, that's not what I meant!" Mabilis na pagsuyo ni Karinaa and attempted to hug her.

 

Mabilis naman umiwas si Winter. "Sinong baby?? Are you cheating on us? Ngayon pa talaga na buntis ako?" At humagulgol na nga talaga si Winter.

 

And that morning, nga ay nagmessage kaagad si Karina sa kanyang assistant na i-reschedule ang lahat ng meetings niya for the week. Mabilis naman nag-confirm ito na nagawa na niya.

 

Hours later, they were on their way to Zambales. Namessage na din ni Karina si Nanay Linda na bumili na ng hinahanap ni Winter para makakaen na siya pagdating.

 

 

 

 

 

Winter began experiencing severe back pains, headaches, and swelling in her belly during her third month of pregnancy. Dahil mataas ang pain tolerance nito ay hindi niya masyadong pinapansin. Until bigla nga siyang hinimatay while working in the studio.

 

She was in the middle of a session with Minju for her third album. Nasa loob ng booth si Minju at kausap pa niya si Winter on the other side about the changes na sinabi nito.

 

"I think you could sustain the last note pa. Then switch to a lower range when you go to the last chorus," said the producer while massaging her temple.

 

"Sure, I could do that, but are you okay, Winter?" Concerned na tanong ni Minju while looking at her direction.

 

"Y...yeah. I'll be f---" at nawala na nga sa paningin ni Minju si Winter, kaya agad agad siyang lumabas ng booth, only to find her on the floor. Buti na lang carpeted ang studio.

 

Mabilis na pinindot ni Minju ang call button sa panel na naka-connect sa office ni Wendy. Hindi rin nagtagal ay dumating ito.

 

"Winter!" Dali dali niyang lapit sa dalawa. "What happened?"

 

"H...hindi ko po sure. We were just talking, but kanina niya pa minamassage yung forehead niya, and then she...she passed out," pag-explain ni Minju.

 

Sakto namang napadaan sa studio ni Winter ang pinsan niyang si Kai, and when he saw the situation, siya na ang nagbuhat kay Winter palabas ng building. As Wendy drove them to the hospital, tinawagan na niya din si Karina pero hindi ito sumasagot kaya ang asawa niyang si Irene ang kinausap. When they got to the hospital, they were assisted right away, kaya dinala na si Winter sa isang room.

 

The doctor did some testing, and when she finished all of them, lumabas na siya ng room.

 

"How is she doc?" Tanong kaagad ni Irene.

 

"Has Karina arrived yet?" Panimula ng doctor, and by the tone of her voice, Wendy and Irene knew something was wrong.

 

"On the way na daw po siya" sagot ni Wendy.

 

"It is best that you two stay with Winter and Karina when I deliver the news."

 

Sakto naman na nakita na nilang tumatakbo na palapit sa kanila si Karina.

 

"Where is Winter? How is our baby?" Hingal nitong sabi.

 

Pinasunod naman sila ng doctor sa isang room and explained what's going on.

 

"Winter's weight dropped a significant amount from the last time we had a checkup. Along with that, she told me she had been experiencing severe back pain and headaches as well. Those are still considered normal and treatable. However,what happens inside the womb is quite uncontrollable"

 

"W.. what do you mean by that?" Nangigilid na ang luha ni Karina at nagsimula ng kabahan.

 

"Unfortunately, the embryo had stopped developing and eventually died inside her womb. I'm really sorry, Karina"

 

Nanghina na ang tuhod ni Karina upon hearing the news. Hindi niya alam ang gagawin niya at masakit para sa kanya ang nangyari. But above all that, she knows how much harder this must be for Winter.

 

Agad naman siyang dinala sa room kung nasaan ang asawa at nang magtagpo ang kanilang mata ay pareho silang humagulgol.

 

"I'm so sorry, jagi. I'm so sorry," ungol ni Winter pagkayakap niya kay Karina.

 

"I...it's not your fault, okay? Please don't blame yourself, jagi" saad naman ni Karina as she comforted her wife.

 

"Our baby... we lost our baby."

 

The doctor, Wendy, and Irene gave them some privacy at hindi rin napigilang maiyak ng pinsan niya at asawa nito ang nangyari lalo pa't nagdadalang tao din si Irene.

 

Nang makauwi sina Winter at Karina sa kanilang condo a few days later, they both went straight inside the other room kung saan may unfinished renovation. The wall was half painted, dahil plano talaga nila na may isang area na sila ang mapapaint. Nakadikit din sa may isang side ang mga sonogram ng kanilang baby.

 

"I'm sorry we never got to meet you, peanut," malungkot na saad ni Winter while touching the pictures.

 

 

 

 

 

It took some time bago naging okay sina Winter at Karina and when they decided to try again, this time si Karina na ang nagdala.

 

Here they are sa loob ng kanilang bathroom, staring at the five pregnacy tests lined up sa counter. There was a deja vu moment on their first try and they both can't help but feel sad once again. When the timer went off, hinawakan ni Winter ang kamay ni Karina.

 

They checked the first one which had a negative sign. Then the second which had a positive one then the third which had another positive sign. The fourth having yet another positive one and the final stick showing the plus sign.

 

Sabay silang napaupo sa floor at naluha when the tests confirmed that Karina is pregnant. When they went to visit their doctor, she too confirmed everything. At dahil takot si Winter na baka maulit ang nangyari sa kanya, lalo siyang naging tutok sa asawa.

 

 

 

 

 

"Jagiyaaaaa wake upppppp"

 

Napabalikwas na naman si Winter sa panggising ni Karina. "Is it time? I've got the bags ready! Wait, do we have time for me to at least brush my teeth?"

 

Natawa naman kaagad si Karina sa aligagang itsura ni Winter na tumayo nga kaagad ng kama at nagpalit ng damit. Nahirapan pa nga siya suotin ang kanyang plaid polo, at hindi pa pantay ang pagkakabutones.

 

"Calm down, jagi. Nagugutom lang kami, and we want ramen. Yung authentic!"

 

Kunot noong tumingin si Winter kay Karina na hinihimas ang kanyang belly. At tsaka lang siya nahimasmasan talaga when she realized that it was too early for the baby to come out. Nasa pang-6th month pa lang naman kasi.

 

"Oh. Okay jagi. Do you want us to fly to Japan? Teka, message ko lang si tito" casual na sabi ni Winter at kinuha na nga niya ang phone sa bedside table at nagpipindot na pero pinigilan siya ni Karina.

 

"Jagi. On second thought, local ramen na lang pala" sabi ni Karina at nakalimutan na rich kid nga pala ang asawa niya.

 

"You sure? He just responded, na he'll wait for us na lang sa hangar."

 

"I am sure po"

 

Bumalik na sa tabi ni Karina si Winter after she responded back na hindi na pala sila pupuntang Japan. Humawak na din siya sa belly ni Karina.

 

"Dada will just cook ramen for you and mommy, okay? Please be patient po" sabi ni Winter bago niya ito halikan at siyempre si Karina.

 

"Thank you, jagi. We love you," nakangiting sabi naman ni Karina.

 

"I love you both so much!"

 

 

 

 

 

Karina unwillingly filed for an early maternity leave in her seventh month of pregnancy. Naging mahabang diskusyunan ito between her and Winter.

 

"You're not getting my point, jagi. Gusto ko lang na super healthy kayo when the time comes. What's wrong with filing it early?"

 

Kakarating lang nila sa condo nun galing sa bi weekly check up ni Karina at kahit naman mismong doctor na ang nagsabing malusog ang baby nila at si Karina eh pinipilit ni Winter na sa bahay na lang muna siya.

 

"But we are healthy. I am sure you heard it as well: nung sinabi ni doc yun. Tsaka may deadline kaming hinahabol sa office kaya kailangan ko i-supervise yun."

 

"And you can do that online, jagi. You can set up virtual meetings and have them send all the documents for you to check."

 

"I have to be physically there to sign those documents."

 

"Then have them send it here."

 

Hindi na sumagot si Karina. If umapila pa siya, mas lalong hahaba ang usapan. Tama naman din ang asawa niya sa mga sinabi nito. Kaya naman humingi siya ng one week para maayos niya ang magiging schedule para sa teams na hawak niya.

 

A week passed at ramdam kaagad ni Karina ang pagkaburyo ng nasa bahay lang. Kaya she looks forward din sa mga virtual meetings nila sa office because that's about the only time she gets to talk to another person during the time na nasa studio si Winter.

 

So habang nasa wala si Winter, kung ano ano ng hobbies ang naturo ni Karina sa sarili. Natutunan niyang mag-play ng basic chords sa portable keyboard ni Winter, umorder siya ng mga quiz books at nang matapos niya lahat ito ay nagsimula naman siyang mag-crochet hanggang sa nakagawa na nga siya ng baby socks.

 

Winter stuck to her schedule of 9–5 kaya by 6 p.m., or 530 pa minsan ay nasa condo na siya, then she would cook dinner for them. Siya na din ang magliligpit at maghuhugas habang nag-wawash si Karina. Then she'll massage Karina's feet, bago siya carefully pumuwesto sa may belly ng asawa at kakausapin ang kanilang anak.

 

"Good evening, jellybean. Did you and Mommy have fun today? I hope you didn't give her much of a hard time."

 

And it never fails to put a big smile on Karina's face every time Winter and their baby would have this bonding. Pero most of the time, din ay sa ganitong oras siya active at kahit panay ang galaw at sipa ito sa tuwing naririnig niya ang boses ng kanyang dada ay hindi naman magawang magreklamo ni Karina.

 

"Let's sleep na po ha. Usap ulit tayo in the morning. I love you so much, jellybean" sabay halik nito sa belly bago siya pumantay kay Karina. "And I love you so much more, jagi"

 

 

 

 

 

Bumungad sa kanilang dalawa ang malawak na ngiti ng kanilang kapamilya at mga kaibigan. Anjan ang parents ni Winter, sila Irene, Wendy, and their three-month-old baby Sage, si Lolo Art, Nanay Linda at Tatay Mark, sina Ryujin, Yeji, Ningning, Giselle, Yuna, and Lia. Dumating din sina Lisa, Rosé at Cali. Miski sina Mina, Chaeyoung, Xiaoting, Yujin, and Youngeun are present.

 

"Hello everyone! Before we get to the most exciting part of the day, we'd like everyone to take their turns and try to make this group of musical note hikers reach the top of the mountain with their guesses as to whether jellybean is a girl or a boy. Whichever side you choose will also be your group for our mini-scavenge hunt. We also hid some items around the condo that would help you make your final decision before the big reveal," said the host na si Ningning.

 

Pinapila naman nila ang mga guests at isa isa na silang naglagay ng kanilang hula sa board. Mas lamang ang side ng mountain papunta sa baby girl dahil glowing daw si Karina. May mangilan ngilan naman sa side papunta sa baby boy dahil mas malakas daw ang pakiramdam nila dito.

 

12-7 ang labanan kaya nagtipon ang TBB (Team Baby Boy) sa may balcony at dahil mas konti sila ay mabilis lang silang nakapagplano while ang TBG (Team Baby Girl) naman na nasa kwarto ng mag-asawa ay hindi na magkaintindihan sa dami ng suggestions na binabato ng mga kagrupo.

 

"SANDALI LANG!" Sigaw ni Lia at natahimik naman ang mga kasama. When she finally got everyone's attention, sinabi na niya ang kanyang suggestion.

 

Giselle gave the go signal at nagkagulo na nga lalo sa loob ng kanilang condo.

 

 

 

 

 

Confused ang lahat ng guests sa mga items na nahanap nila. Meron kasilang nakuhang blue at pink na baby socks, tutu skirt, onesies, pacifiers at baby carriers. May isang item lang silang hindi nahanap which would really help with their decision making. Ang kaninang 12-7 groupings na ay naging 10-9 nang lumipat sa TBB ang dalawa sa TBG.

 

Naka-gather na ulit sila sa sala after nilang ayusin ang mga nagulong gamit dahil sa laro.

 

"To add more excitement to everyone, kaen po muna tayo" sabi ni Ningning at nagsimula na nilang pagpasa-pasahan ang mga plates and utensils. Siyempre, their food was sponsored by Chef Irene. Si Winter din kasi ang pinaka-favorite niya sa kaniyang mga pinsan.

 

After nilang kumaen, nag-serve na ng mga desserts at nagsalita na ulit si Ningning.

 

"At andito na nga tayo sa most exciting part. Isang malaking achievement din sa amin ni Giselle ang itago ito sa inyo lalo na kina Winter at Karina" sabi ni Ningning at nakipag-high five sa kanyang girlfriend.

 

"So we asked our expecting couple here about the final names they have for their baby. We have Avery if it's a girl and Declan if it's a boy. I'm not sure if anyone noticed, but there were letters engraved on each item we asked you to find during the hunt, but unfortunately, you missed one item" sabi ni Giselle at nilapitan na nga niya gitara ni Winter na nasa corner at kinuha sa likod nito ang isang sonogram.

 

"Everyone, jellybean now has a name, and it's..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A/N: what do you think would be the baby's name?