“You ask me to buy iced chocolate everyday but it end up thrown away. Are you that rich to waste money like this?”

 

The trainees stop stretching and look over the table when they heard the voice of Manager Jang Dongwoo scolding his artist.

 

“Shut up! I am rich,”

 

“If you want to waste money like this, why don’t you just buy that café? You can have iced chocolate delivered anytime you want then.”

 

Silence.

 

Dongwoo start regretting making a dumb suggestion when he was angry. Well, who wouldn’t? Sunggyu is generous to treat his backup dancer drinks from the café across the road every time they meet for a practise or a meeting. But every time he did, he ask Dongwoo to add an order of iced chocolate. But the drink will end up in the drain or trash bin because it never go to the hand of the person it was intended to. Dongwoo was regretting because Sunggyu had a look of someone thinking his suggestion over deeply.

 

“Can I add an egg toast to the menu if I buy the café?” Sunggyu asks innocently.

 

“What? What…how did egg toast come into this?” Dongwoo groans frustratedly. He turns to the dancers still lingering around. “If you guys are done, get out. Kim Sunggyu-shi is not in his right mind to continue a meeting.”

 

Sunggyu gape at his manager. “Yah, how could you say like that? I still need to talk about the concert.”

 

Dongwoo turns to face him, hands on his waist. “No. You need to clear your mind from this ridiculous thoughts.” Then he look at the dancers back. “Come again tomorrow, at eight thirty.”

 

The dancers scurrying quickly at the orders, picking up their belongings, take an iced Americano from the table and rush out of the room. In a short time, it just left Dongwoo and Sunggyu, and the producer. Sunggyu sits on the chair, pouting, but Dongwoo ignores him.

 

“Clear your head. I will come back in half an hour to drive you back home,” he says, picking up the cup of iced chocolate.

 

“Yah, give that back.” Sunggyu reach out his hand to grab the cup.

 

Dongwoo pulls his hand out of reach. “It’s going to the bin anyway. Let’s not waste them and I should give this to the CEO,”

 

“Never!” Sunggyu stands up and successfully grab the cup from his manager’s hand. “It’s mine. It’s up to me who I want to give this to and it’s my money to throw it away.”

 

The producer come to their side, patting Dongwoo’s shoulder and they both leave Sunggyu alone in the room. Sunggyu sighs as he lean his back on the chair. But not a minute pass when the door opens once again.

 

“I’m tired, I don’t want to fight with you again, Dongwoo,” he says without looking at the door.

 

“Sorry. I got a message saying I have to come see you after you’re done. Hoya and the others were coming back down, I thought this is your free time.”

 

Sunggyu quickly jump forward hearing the voice. The one and only Nam Woohyun is standing at the door, waiting for his next word if he should come or go.

 

“Woohyunnie. Come in,” Sunggyu says, standing up.

 

Woohyun frowns, debating if he should comply or not. But since he already got the teacher’s permission to leave the practise, he thought it’s not wise to go back after a minute. He walk inside the room, close the door and paddled to the table. Sunggyu push the iced chocolate to the younger and invite him to sit down.

 

Sunggyu eyed him as Woohyun sip his drink, he shut his eyes and moan in delight when the cold bitter taste of chocolate wash his throat. Sunggyu’s lips form a smiles unconsciously.

 

Some things never change.

 

--------------------------------

 

“We win, hyung,”

 

“Of course you are. Will you lose with Nam Woohyun in the team?” Sunggyu chuckles.

 

“No. I would never let our team lost,”

 

“That’s my Woohyun. I’m proud of you.” He can feel the younger smiles from the other side. “When are your next game?”

 

“Next Thursday. If we win, we will go to semi-final on Saturday and Final on Sunday,”

 

“I can’t go to your games but I sure can on Final, since its Sunday,”

 

“Really? Really? Hyung will come?” Woohyun asks excitedly.

 

“Yeah.” Sunggyu peeked at his calendar hanging on the wall. “I will come on Saturday night and watch the final. Make sure you win,”

 

“I will win. I’m sure we will win.”

 

Sunggyu smiles. He reach out his hand to circled the date and write a note on the calendar, on Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. He can’t wait to be home.

 

“How’s your practise, hyung?”

 

“Just the usual.” Sunggyu sighs. “I’m tired, Woohyunie,”

 

“Aw…hyung. Stay strong. You can do it,”

 

“Hurm…if only you’re here. I miss you,”

 

“I miss you too, hyung.” Woohyun’s voice is low. “It’s not the same without you,”

 

“I really wish time go faster so you can graduate and be here with me.”

 

Woohyun chuckles. “I still have a year and a half, hyung,”

 

“Yeah…and I might have debut that time?” Sunggyu tilted his head. “Anyway, let’s go out after your game. I got time before I have to go back Seoul,”

 

“Sure!” Woohyun replies excitedly. “I’ll make sure we win so Sunggyu hyung can be proud of me.”

 

Sunggyu smiles sweetly and happily over the phone. It can’t be describe how thrilled he is listening to Woohyun’s voice and counting the days for them to meet. The training to be an idol is hard, moreover he is all alone without his family or boyfriend by his side. When it is rough, he miss his family the most. But every day only Woohyun is inside his mind, heart and soul. He can’t wait to see the day where Woohyun graduated and move to Seoul so they can be together again. He can’t wait for Sunday to come to run back home and see his beloved play on the field. He can’t wait to spend some time together, holding hands and hugging and kissing him, if he can overcome his shyness.

 

Only to be crushed harshly.

 

That was the last time he heard of Woohyun.

 

He was training hard on Wednesday that he didn’t get the chance to look at his hand phone. Both he and Woohyun only got to text good morning as soon as they woke up before they start their day. Sunggyu send one text later in the evening, telling Woohyun don’t work too hard, take care of your health, I will call you later, I miss you. Woohyun reply the exact same text back but with a lot of kiss and hug emoticons. Later in the night Sunggyu sent message first before he can call his lover but Woohyun didn’t read the messages and didn’t pick up his phone when Sunggyu calls him.

 

He start to feel uneasy on Thursday, the day Woohyun should play in the quarter-final. His call went to voicemail. Okay, maybe he need the time off to calm himself for the coming game. But that’s nonsense. Woohyun would be happy to hear his voice before a game, saying it is a lucky charm. He sent text messages, wishing Woohyun good luck and do his best, and reminds him of their date on Sunday.

 

It’s a mess. His message didn’t go through. Sunggyu spend his Friday getting scolded by the teacher for getting distracted in practise. He had to stop thinking about his boyfriend unwillingly, and as soon as the practise end, he climb on the bus to go back to Sabuk, even though he already bought a ticket home for tomorrow. He can’t wait anymore.

 

He went to Woohyun’s house but no one is there. He went again on Saturday, seeing there was no one home, he went to the stadium. If his school win, they should have a semi-final on that day. But he was shocked to learn his school had forfeited before quarter-final and the school facing them win without playing. He went to school to ask but no one would tell him anything, they didn’t even know why their school did so.

 

Sunggyu went to Woohyun’s house and saw his mother just arriving from somewhere. When ask, she just told him Woohyun is not home and he should go. Sunggyu come back on Sunday, the day where they are supposed to go on a date. Sunggyu didn’t care if Woohyun didn’t win the game. He just want to see the younger, so badly. They could still go out and spend time together, enjoying the day just the two of them. Woohyun’s parents are home before they left in the noon. Sunggyu want to follow them but town’s fans stop him and convers with him, making him lost the parents whereabouts.

 

He waits all day outside of Woohyun’s house. It was raining that evening when Woohyun’s parents come back. They told him to go home but he didn’t move an inch. He waits stubbornly for their son to come out and reply to his text or answer his phone. His parents were guilty of something but they didn’t tell him anything. He only went back home when his own parents come to drag him out of there.

 

Did I do something wrong?

 

Did Woohyun have change of heart?

 

Did Woohyun hate me now?

 

Did Woohyun have a new lover who always be there with him?

 

What happen to us?

 

Sunggyu undergo his training with this thoughts filled in his mind. He cried every night thinking of his young boyfriend. His friends think he just miss his family. They think he is pathetic to cry over some girl who doesn’t want him anymore. They think he should work hard and show the girl what she had miss.

 

Sunggyu had stop thinking and turn a new leaf when he realize Woohyun had change his number and he won’t get the chance to contact the younger anymore. He work hard and debut after 15 months training at the company, and quickly become the number one singer in South Korea.

 

He can’t forget Woohyun. Never. Not when Woohyun is his first love and he still love the other deeply in his heart.

 

--------------------------

 

“Why you didn’t contact me all this time, Woohyun?” Sunggyu asks.

 

Woohyun stop drinking his chocolate, eyes low on the table.

 

“I really miss you.”

 

Woohyun slowly put the cup on the table. “If you want to see me just to reminiscing the past, I better go,”

 

“No, wait!” Sunggyu quickly stop him even though Woohyun doesn’t show any sign to stand up. “I’m not. I just want to tell you, I miss you so much.”

 

Silence.

 

“How the training? It must be hard,” Sunggyu change the topic.

 

“It’s fine…”

 

“How your friends? Did anyone give you a hard time?”

 

Woohyun lift his head, now this is getting weird. But seeing the sincere concern look in Sunggyu’s eyes make him stop thinking nonsense. He shakes his head. “They’re fine.”

 

Woohyun fidgety in his seat when he realize Sunggyu is scanning him, even with a table between them and he can only see up from his chest.

 

He was injured but where? The heavy work open his wound but…where? Is he okay now? Is he not feel any pain now?

 

“Uh…Sunggyu-shi,”

 

“Hyung,”

 

“Huh?”

 

Sunggyu glare into Woohyun’s eyes. “I told you to call me hyung,”

 

“Well…Sunggyu-shi…” Woohyun ignore him.

 

“I swear if you don’t stop, I will tell the CEO to force you into debut. Trust me, we can,”

 

“Oh, no, you don’t,”

 

“Oh, yes, we can,”

 

“How you can force me if I’m not willing? Fine, debut me then. I will just be absent from recording, I will make an attitude at shows and shooting, I will come out with devilish image and ugly hairs, I will tell the press you’re forcing me when I don’t want to be an artist,” Woohyun counterattack.

 

“You…” Sunggyu says through gritted teeth.

 

“You can’t force someone into something they don’t want to. There are plenty other trainees you can pick to debut. Just not me,” Woohyun says, softer this time.

 

“We don’t want any other trainees. We want you,”

 

Woohyun sighs, feeling tired with this fiasco. “Why you so adamant to debut me, Sunggyu-shi? Someone should be an artist if they want to be an artist. But I don’t. I want to stay as the way I am,”

 

“Until when will you stay as trainee? Don’t you want to move on? What are you planning with your life? You had stop playing soccer and you refused to be an artist,”

 

“Are there only soccer and entertainment in your world, Sunggyu-shi?” Woohyun can’t help but raise his voice again. “I can do whatever I want with my life. I can quit here and just do any work I can do,”

 

“What work you can do with only high school diploma? You’re not going to university either.” Sunggyu know he had crossed the line.

 

“It’s up to me what I want to do and if I want to go to university,”

 

“I don’t want you to waste your life. You’re too talented to let it go to waste without debuting,”

 

“I rather it go to waste than me lost my sanity.”

 

What?

 

Sunggyu widen his eyes, too surprise to make a response. Realizing he had talk too much, Woohyun push himself up and spun around to leave, only to have his arm grab by the elder.

 

“We’re not done. You’re not going anywhere,” Sunggyu says, standing so close to him.

 

“Let go. There’s nothing to say.” Woohyun wriggle his hand to break free.

 

“No.” Sunggyu grabs Woohyun’s other arm. “We’re not done. You can’t run anymore, Woohyun,”

 

“I’m not running,”

 

“Oh, yeah?” Sunggyu snort. “Then explain why you suddenly went no contact and change your number?”

 

“Because I don’t want to talk to you anymore,”

 

“If you don’t want to talk to me, tell me so. But you didn’t pick up my calls, didn’t reply to my messages, let me wait outside your house in the rain, and left me hanging without any news. That’s called running away. How childish were you?”

 

“You know I’m childish,”

 

“Yeah, I know and only I know how much of a bratty you are.”

 

Quiet.

 

Woohyun had stop struggling. His eyes red staring into Sunggyu’s small slit. Sunggyu is mad, and Woohyun is too. But there are also sadness and hurt in both of their eyes. Sunggyu knows Woohyun is going to cry but he shouldn’t put his guard down. Because once he did, Woohyun will escape again.

 

“What’s wrong with you, Woohyun? What happen to you?” Sunggyu asks in a whisper.

 

Woohyun shakes his head, then he lowered them.

 

“Woohyun. Woohyunie, look at me,” Sunggyu plead. Woohyun shakes his head again. “Please,”

 

“I…I don’t want to debut.” He lift his head, his cheeks trailed with tears. “I don’t want to be an idol,”

 

“Are you scared? Woohyun, you can tell me. Let me help you,”

 

“There’s nothing you can do, hyung.”

 

Sunggyu widen his eyes, alarmed, both from the sorry reply and the hyung Woohyun address him with. “Woohyun…” He raise his hands to cup Woohyun’s cheeks and brush his wet cheeks with his thumbs. “I am Kim Sunggyu. I’m your Sunggyu hyung. I would do anything for you. Please tell me. Please don’t leave me in the dark.”

 

Woohyun sniffled. He put his hands on top of Sunggyu’s to pull it away. “If you want to help me, please, don’t ask me to debut. I rather be a trainee for the rest of my life than be an idol,”

 

“Woohyun…”

 

“Please, Sunggyu hyung,” Woohyun plead, his tears running down his cheeks.

 

His heart clench painfully in his chest seeing his beloved Nam Woohyun being a crying mess in his arms. It hurt him more when he knows something Woohyun doesn’t want him to know, yet, and he can do nothing to help him.

 

And fate really hate him whenever he is alone with Woohyun, just the two of them.

 

The door to the room opens. “Sunggyu…” And revealed Bora calling him happily only to stop dead on the door.

 

Woohyun push him away and turns his head to make sure the woman doesn’t caught him crying.

 

Sunggyu look at the door, furious. “What do you want?”

 

Bora quickly step inside the room before she pulls any unwanted attention from outside. “Is everything okay?” She went to the two and caught the sniffling from the younger. “You’re crying?” She turns to Sunggyu. “Yah! Did you make him cry?”

 

“What? No! Why are you here by the way? Can’t you knock first?” Sunggyu groans.

 

“Dongwoo told me he left you alone in here to clear your mind. I didn’t know you had guest,”

 

“Doesn’t matter if I am alone or not, you should knock first and wait for permission to enter any room. Don’t you learn etiquette?”

 

“Yah!” Bora push him slightly on the shoulder. “I’m sorry but not sorry.” She turns to Woohyun to check on him. “Are you okay? What’s your name? Did Sunggyu bully you?”

 

Woohyun quickly bows his head. “I’m sorry, I should go.” Then he turns around and run out of the room.

 

“Woohyun…” Sunggyu calls after him but the younger already left and close the door behind him.

 

“Woohyun?” Bora tilted her head, then she look at Sunggyu. “His name sounds familiar…”

 

Sunggyu groans. “What do you want?”

 

“Oh, I came to tell you I won’t go to Sungjong’s team. I’m going to the tour with you,” Bora says excitedly.

 

“That’s good,” he replies flatly before he went to his previous seat.

 

“Yah! What’s that supposed to mean? Shouldn’t you be happy?”

 

“I am if you tell me in the right time.” Sunggyu glare at her to show how irritated he is.

 

“I’m glad I came. You make that little boy cry. If I didn’t stop you, who knows what you would do to him?”

 

“I’m not making him cry!” Sunggyu shouts, jumping from his seat. “I would…never make him cry,” he says softly, more like a whisper.

 

 

-----------------------------------

 

How is it?

Is it bad?

Please leave some comment.

 

 

I’m crying when I write the flashback. I believe it is not that sad but it still hurtful, for me. Now any little mishap happen to Woohyun would break my heart, and I realize, he is the number two for me, behind my beloved Jaejoong.

 

I read an article, Sunggyu said when he break up with his first girlfriend in high school, he wait for her in front of her house in the rain. I copied them. Hihi.