Woohyun wake up with a start. His heart beat crazily he feels like the organ want to jump out from his chest. Beads of sweat filled around his forehead, rolling down his cheeks. The front and the back of his t-shirt wet with cold sweat. He was panting heavily, trying to find his regular breath.

He sits up slowly, brushing his face and find the skin damp. He sighs.

“It’s been so long,” he whispers.

Woohyun throw his blanket away, stand up and paddled to the door in the darkness of his room. He open the door and caught the light on at the kitchen. He walk closer, slowly, to make sure he didn’t surprise the man who had his back on him.

But surprise he did.

The man, Lee Sungyeol, one of his housemates turns around and jump slightly when he see him. “God, Woohyun. You surprise me,” he squeaked.

“Sorry,” he says tiredly as he went to the dining table, pulls the chair and sits his bottom.

“Is everything okay?” Sungyeol asks.

Silence.

Woohyun slam his head on the table, giving his back head to the man as an answer.

“Nightmare?” he guess. Woohyun hum. “I think it’s been long since you last dream of him.”

Woohyun sighs as he push his head from the table and face the taller. He just realize Sungyeol had showered and don in casual clothing, a cup of coffee in hand. “Are you going?”

Sungyeol nods his head. “Yeah.” He put the cup on the table before he turns around and went to the counter to make another drink.

“Do you have any coffee left?” Woohyun asks.

Sungyeol turns around, nodding. “I do.”

Woohyun reach for the cup Sungyeol had abandon. “Can I have this? You can get a new one.”

The taller frowns. “I was just going to make you tea to help you sleep better.”

Woohyun shakes his head behind the cup as he take his sips. “I’m not going back to sleep,”

“Huh? Why? It’s still early.” Sungyeol comes back to the table, empty handed.

He sighs. “I don’t think I can get back to sleep,”

“But what are you going to do? It’s still too early to go to the company.”

Woohyun didn’t answer for a while, making Sungyeol guess the other is collecting his thoughts on what he should do for the time being. Sungyeol turns back to the counter to get a new coffee, then he come back to the table and sits opposite of his friend.

“Is everything okay?” Sungyeol asks.

Woohyun lift his head to look at the other. “Why shouldn’t it be?”

“Because you had a nightmare?” Sungyeol guess. “Usually he came to visit when something happen to you.” He sips his drink. “Did you get an offer?”

Woohyun sighs. “I turn it down,”

“What? Why?” Sungyeol asks, baffled.

“No.” Woohyun shakes his head. “I was turn down and they make a new offer which I turn down.”

He frowns. “You make no sense. But, Woohyun, until when will you turn down the offer? You’re wasting your talent,”

“I can’t, Sungyeol. I…” Woohyun sobs. “He looks angry, he looks mad, he looks ready to stop me from moving forward. How can I dare to accept the offer knowing he will haunt me every day?”

Sungyeol eyed his friend with sympathy. He didn’t know what to say. It has been almost five years, Woohyun was still haunted by his past. Sungyeol can’t blame him. Because it was not his fault. The one should be blame is the one who had passed. Why did he came and give misery to Woohyun to live his life? Is it Woohyun’s fault that he was saved while he was not?

“I’m going to Gohan, I will go visit him and ask him to not bothering you again,” Sungyeol offers.

Woohyun snort softly. “It’s no use, remember? I myself went to visit but nothing change. What make you think it will if you go?”

“Who knows?” Sungyeol shrugged. “It has been long, right? May be he will change his mind this time. May be he came because he wants to tell you to grab the chance,”

“Or may be he warns me to stop dreaming,”

“Woohyun…” Sungyeol plead.

Woohyun shakes his head. “Anyway, you’re going to Gohan for a shooting. You can’t take a time away to go back home. You can’t get scolded, it will ruin your future,”

“I don’t think so.” Sungyeol sips his now warm coffee. “I’m just a supporting. I have a lot of free time and I can go when it’s not my turn,”

“Don’t risk your chance, Sungyeol. I appreciate your thought but please don’t. You should always be there. Who knows when you are needed for the shooting?” Woohyun tries to reason out.

Silence.

Sungyeol eyed his friend. Woohyun tries to hide it but Sungyeol knows him better and Woohyun agreed to it too. Woohyun looks tired and he desperately needed help but he refuse to bother anyone. No. Scratch that. He refuse to involve anyone because he want to keep this secret. He doesn’t want anyone to know. He wish to bring this to the end of his life. Even though he is too young and have a long way to go.

It just unfortunate for Woohyun, because Sungyeol is a fast observer. The very first time he came to visit Woohyun is the night Sungyeol sleep over at his home back in Sabuk. Woohyun just brush it off as a thought of a friend. But when he appear regularly and deprived Woohyun of his sleep, Sungyeol know it had gone worst.

And the sad part is, Sungyeol feels useless he can’t help his friend.

“Let’s just go visit him someday,” Sungyeol suggest.

Woohyun nods, eyes low on his still half full cup. Sungyeol’s hand phone beep for an upcoming message. The taller peeked at the screen before he down his coffee to its last drop, stand up and paddled to the sink. He wash his cup and come back to the table, swinging his bag pack on his shoulder.

“I’m going now. I will be back tonight or tomorrow morning at the latest,” Sungyeol says.

Woohyun nods again, looking at him. “Take care, don’t do anything foolish, don’t forget to eat your meal, work hard but don’t hurt yourself. Tell Myungsoo I say hello,”

“Yes. Yes.” Sungyeol groans by the reminder. “You always said the same thing,” he mumbles. “Anyway, Myungsoo said we should meet. He will invite us when he doesn’t have schedule.”

Woohyun grins. “Sure, if he still wants to meet the trainees like us. Make sure you stay in Gohan and don’t go anywhere, definitely not Sabuk.”

Sungyeol tsked.

Woohyun is alone at the dining table when the taller left their shared apartment. They; Woohyun, Sungyeol and Hoya came from a small town in Sabuk. They are friends in high school. Woohyun and Sungyeol grow up together as they live just a few houses away. They know Hoya since middle school but just being friend in high school. Hoya and Sungyeol are best friend first and Sungyeol introduce him to another best friend of his. Woohyun and Hoya were awkward at first and Sungyeol sometimes had to be the middle man in between them. They grew out of the unpleasant friendship after Hoya save Woohyun from a bully.

None of them went to university after graduated. Even though he got sport scholarship, Woohyun refused to go since he had nightmare every night. It only stop when Woohyun decided to not further his study. And that’s when he guess the nightmare is some sort of warning from him.

You want to live a better life? I won’t let you. Be prepared to welcome me in your dream every night.

Hoya want to be a dancer or a dance teacher. But his grandfather was ill and he didn’t have the heart to leave Sabuk. If he join any entertainment label, he know it will be hard to come back home to visit. He was willing to give up his dream just to be by his grandfather’s side. He work in his grandfather’s eatery, with Woohyun and Sungyeol. When his grandfather passed away, Hoya decided to pursue his long lost dream, dragging his friends with him.

Sungyeol got an offer to a university but he can’t go because the tuition money is too high for his family to pay. Even he work part time, it’s not enough to pay for the education. He might have to do a lot of work to make a full payment. If he do, he will be too tired to go to class. His solution is to work first and he will go to university when he had enough money.

“You’re early.”

Woohyun startled, he turns around to meet with Hoya coming out of the bedroom, yawning and rubbing his eyes.

“Yeah, I can’t go back to sleep,” he says half lying.

“Want to go for a run?” Hoya asks.

“Sure.”

Woohyun and Sungyeol went with Hoya to Seoul. Hoya use his inheritance money from his late grandfather to sign a lease to a cheap apartment for a couple of years. The house only has one bedroom but it is big enough for them to divide into three small rooms. Sungyeol made the suggestion with an excuse of his snore will disturb their sleep but in truth, he want to keep Woohyun’s nightmare a secret from Hoya, if he still didn’t know.

The day is still dark when the sun preparing himself to come out. But the people of the city was ready to start their day. Woohyun and Hoya greets everyone they meet on their run. They run side by side but usually Hoya was left behind because he can’t cope up with Woohyun’s speed. Woohyun will slow down until Hoya catch him up, they run together before Hoya slow his speed again.

Woohyun make a corner to a playground. He wash his face and drink some water from the drinking fountain when Hoya come into view. Woohyun went to the bench beside the fountain when Hoya take his turn.

“How did you get faster every time we run together?” Hoya slump down the bench beside the other.

Woohyun grins. “I used to play soccer. No matter how fast you are, it’s hard to keep in track with a soccer player. Even though I didn’t play anymore, I still had my strength from the past,”

Hoya groans, hating the fact how true it was. “But I play too,”

“Only in middle school. You stop playing in high school if I remember correctly,”

“But it’s not like you play till the end either. You stop playing in second year…” Hoya cut himself off as he quickly turns his head away from Woohyun.

Silence.

Hoya mentally punch himself for his blabbermouth. It was taboo. It was an indirect rules. No one should say anything about that year and why Woohyun stop playing soccer. They can talk about soccer, they can reminiscing the past, but they can’t say a word about why Woohyun didn’t play anymore.

Hoya gulp his saliva as he slowly turns his head. Woohyun look calm, not an ounce of hurt marred his face.

“I…I’m sorry,” Hoya apologize sincerely.

He smiles, facing his friend. “It’s okay. It’s not like we can written this off of my past,”

“But…”

Woohyun pat Hoya’s lap. “Don’t think too much. I’m fine.” He sighs, turning his face away to look at the front watching school kids walking to their school. “But for a punishment, you have to buy breakfast.”

Hoya gape. He want to retort but realizing his rude comment and the lost in their run, he give in without arguing. “Fine…”

Woohyun laughs.

Silence filled between them as they watch adults are walking to their work too.

Woohyun used to be part of them. When they first arrived, he work menial jobs around the neighbourhood. He start at the fish market when the day still dark till around noon. Then he work as a delivery man sending lunches to working places or houses. At the evening he work in a barbeque restaurant till midnight. He work those jobs for three days a week. Another three days are working in a warehouse from midnight to dawn, then he send milk and yogurt to houses for an hour, then he work at a pastry shop until after lunch hour. One day is a rest day sleeping to gather back his energy.

He does six or more part time jobs while he still searching for a permanent full time work. But he only work for three months, he had to stop working hard labour when his health in the line. The only job he can keep is at the pastry shop but the pay was barely enough to cover his share of rent even if he work every day.

That was when he was tricked into joining Infinite Entertainment.

Hoya and Sungyeol both have different jobs. Hoya work in a training centre while Sungyeol at a café shop. Sungyeol suggest he try the convenience store two shops from the café. Woohyun went to filled in his data and he can start working tomorrow. He came to the café for a coffee since Sungyeol will be done in half an hour and they can go home together. He was surprise finding Hoya and Dongwoo at a table and they insist he join them.

He didn’t remember how, but when he knows it, he had sign an agreement with Infinite Entertainment. At first, they talk about how Woohyun can work as a dancer since it can help him work out and recuperate. It’s a job and he can do them in the day before he went to work at the convenience store at the evening. The pay is better, not as much as his six previous jobs together but at least he can do some work out while working.

He knows his friends tricked him was when he went to the company. They scout him to get into entertainment business. Woohyun was furious and he run out of the building before Dongwoo talk to him. He said Woohyun can learn to dance and he will be a dance trainer next, teaching new students or trainees. Woohyun can’t back out from the contract since he have to pay for the money. He didn’t understand why he had to pay since he didn’t even start yet.

Apparently that was how entertainment business is and Woohyun start to resent the industry.

Even though he already sign the contract, they still want him to audition for the spot in the dance department. Dongwoo said it was formality. After he secure his spot, Dongwoo told him they actually want him to do some modelling or acting since he has the face but since Woohyun prove his dancing skill, they put him in the department to not force him anymore than they already is. They will think of how to sugar talk him into going acting in the future.

And what makes it hurt more was he didn’t even know Hoya and Sungyeol already sign with the company the month before. Sungyeol went to the acting department while Hoya went to dance himself. Sungyeol was scout when a higher up saw him at the café and think he is perfect for modelling, giving his height and all. Hoya accompany him when he first went to the company. While Sungyeol going through his contract, Hoya did an audition himself and secure a place.

Woohyun throw a tantrum and didn’t talk to both of them for a week. They apologize profusely and making promises after promises until Woohyun eventually give in. He forgive but won’t forget. He make sure to rubs in their faces when things didn’t go their way, or his way.

Woohyun knows his friends only want to help and the best for him. He can’t do hard labour and had to minimal his work out routine. Who would hire a high school graduate to a full time job with good payment? He had no choice but to comply. Infinite Entertainment give him chance to recuperate, work his day and a good salary. He plan on saving his money to go to university and get a stable job. Well…if he can and if he let him.

After a year, he grow attached to the company and the people he met; Dongwoo, the CEO, the trainees, and Myungsoo. But it still won’t change his mind to get out of the entertainment business and living a normal life.

His plan was him going to join a team, like Sungjong’s or Sunggyu’s backup dancer. He will do ty job or cause trouble that they had to kick him out. If he is lucky, they will kick him out from the company rather than him going back to be a trainee.

But he had to abort the plan for the time being since both Sungjong and Sunggyu didn’t chose him. He has to wait for another selection. Or maybe an idol group will need backup dancer as well.

“I just remember…” Hoya break Woohyun’s thought. “While I wait when you talk to Sunggyu-shi, Jaesok told me something,”

“What is?”

“He overheard Sungjong-shi complain how unfair it was for them to not let him have you just because Sunggyu-shi had put his name on you first,”

Woohyun look at Hoya, baffled. “But at the end Sunggyu-shi didn’t pick me either,”

“That’s what I don’t understand.” Hoya scratch his head, frustrated. “Why Sunggyu-shi didn’t pick you? Will they let you go to Sungjong-shi’s team now?”

Woohyun turns away from Hoya. He know why. But he can’t tell Hoya. Not when Hoya didn’t know about his and Sunggyu’s past and he didn’t intent to let anyone know either. It was in the past and he plan to bury them in the deepest hole in his life, just like the nightmare, just like the cause of the sudden end of his soccer carrier.

“I have to ask the teacher. But I don’t think I will go to Sungjong-shi,”

“Why not? He want you. He will be delighted to have you in his team.”

Woohyun shakes his head, without looking at Hoya. “He had enough people. If I join, he has to let go of a trainee to swap me with.”

Hoya keep quiet for a while, thinking. “You’re right.” Then he sighs. “I’m sorry it not work out with you.”

He smiles, turning to his friend. “It’s okay. I just can wait for my turn.”

Hoya smiles back. “That reminds me. Did you know Sunggyu-shi?”

Ba-dump.

Woohyun gulp his saliva. “Of course I do. We went to the same high school and live in the same town,”

“No, no.” Hoya shakes his head. “Let me reprise. Did you know Sunggyu-shi personally? Did you have encounter with him at school before?”

“Well…kind of.” Woohyun hope his voice didn’t shake to give him away. “He caught me play the piano in the music room once and sometimes I went to watch him play when I didn’t have soccer practise. We do talk but that’s that.”

It was not a lie but it’s not all of it either. Starting with the watching each other playing and talking here and there, they grow closer and start dating. No one know because its taboo and they are both star in their respective field. They can’t risk of getting caught and get thrown out of their name.

“No wonder…” Hoya whisper.

“Huh? What? What do you mean?” Woohyun jump slightly, alarmed.

“The way he wait for you and call your name looks like you had known each other before. Aren’t normally the manager was the one who should call you and bring you to their artist?” Hoya ask.

“Well…well…may be he had something to do while he wait for me?” Woohyun guess, then he stand up, surprising the other. “We should go and I’m hungry and I crave for an egg toast.”

-----------------------------------

How is it?

Is it bad?

Please leave some comment.

A kind of boring chapter. I want to tell a little bit of their background and it turn not little anymore. Sorry.

Park Jaeseok was a former member of Golden Child. In his profile, he was a lead dancer. Another lead dancer is Daeyeol but I refuse to use him and another is Choi Bomin. The main dancer is Kim Donghyun but both Donghyun and Bomin are too young for Infinite age in this story.