Woohyun swipe the photos in his hand phone one after the other with glassy eyes and sad smiles on his face. He had one folder in his gallery locked with his thumb print. No one but him can see the pictures. It’s a secret photos from the first day he took the picture of them together until the recent one, on the Chuseok this year. It has been months since the last time he meet the elder.

 

Woohyun rubs the face of his beloved with his thumb.

 

“Hyung, I miss you…” he whispers, oblivious to the lone tears falling down his cheek.

 

Woohyun and Sunggyu met when the younger was in middle school while the elder in his first year of high school. He doesn’t know why but he had the feeling to just take a picture of them together to commemorate their first day of friendship. They didn’t have many pictures since then, not more than ten, and only taken in special date like Christmas or Chuseok, and it was a coincidence meeting. Woohyun create a folder after Sunggyu ask him out. Because he believe they will take more pictures together and he doesn’t want anyone to know about them if they happen to look at his hand phone. Woohyun likes to take photos of Sunggyu, be it him alone or them together.

 

His most favourite photo of Sunggyu is the one Sunggyu had his back on the wall behind the gym’s door, waiting for him. Sunggyu look so handsome, charming and cool, and Woohyun wish he can shout to the world how much he love the man. The one photo of Sunggyu looking at him with loving eyes and shy smiles is the one he use as Sunggyu’s profile picture. The picture will pop up whenever the elder calls him and Woohyun sometimes deliberately took longer to answer the call just so he can look at the picture. But now, he can’t have the chance to have the picture shown on his call, not when he change his number.

 

“Hey, Woohyun. Sorry I’m late.”

 

Woohyun quickly swipe the picture close and wipe the corner of his eyes before Sungyeol had a chance to show his face in front of him.

 

Woohyun put his hands on the push ring to turn his wheelchair around. He smiles at the taller. “Hey, Sungyeol.”

 

Sungyeol eyed the latter. Even though Woohyun tries to brush it away, the trace is clear, his eyes still red and his cheeks wet. But Sungyeol can’t bring himself to pry further. Not when Woohyun had too much than he can eat in his plate.

 

He sighs. “Are you ready to go?”

 

Woohyun smiles cheekily as he nods his head. Sungyeol went behind Woohyun’s wheelchair, hands on the push handle to wheel his friend leaving the training centre. It has been 40 days since the accident. Woohyun didn’t hurt his legs, just his shoulder. But he can’t stand on his two feet without falling down. He feels wobbly and weak. The doctor said he was shocked and trauma from the accident and need time to work his legs again. He had to use a wheelchair to go places. They had to move his class to a ground floor science class and Woohyun sleep in his parents’ room on the ground floor since his is in the second floor.

 

He start to feel his legs last week, after a month feeling them numb and useless. He can move them and stand on them. But he still can’t walk without falling just after two steps. He undergo sport therapy at the training centre to get his legs back. Sungyeol was by his side all the time. He went to Woohyun’s house to pick him up and wheeled him to his class, to his therapy and to his house. Woohyun had training three days a week; Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Usually Sungyeol will wait for him at the centre but today he had to stay after school for some extra class. Hoya went with Woohyun to the training centre but he can’t stay long since they need his help at the restaurant. Sungyeol runs as fast as he can knowing Woohyun had finish his training and he was late to pick him up.

 

They walk at the sidewalk, talking about homework and Woohyun pouts when Sungyeol reminds him of the upcoming exam. Woohyun hugs his bag pack closer to his chest, pouting still listening to Sungyeol’s nagging. He is startled when Sungyeol turn his wheelchair to a tree and park him under the said tree near the bench.

 

“Huh? What?” he asks, turning his head around just to follow Sungyeol’s movement to his front.

 

“I will buy some drink. Is iced Americano okay with you?”

 

Sungyeol went to buy the drinks after Woohyun choose his preference. He look at the drink stall, standing side by side with the snack bar. A sense of longing tickle his already fragile heart, making him miss his lover more than he already is.

 

Woohyun shakes his head. No, Woohyun. Stop thinking about Sunggyu hyung. Stop being selfish.

 

Woohyun quickly put on a smile when Sungyeol come back with two cup of drinks. He give one to Woohyun as he sits on the bench, sipping his drink. He look at Woohyun, frowning when the latter eyed the cup without drinking it, yet.

 

“What’s wrong? Don’t like it? But you said you want iced chocolate.”

 

Woohyun shakes his head, still with his eyes on the drink. He neared the straw to his lips and take a sip. The cold ice and the bitter taste hugs him like a blanket of warmth. It’s cold but warm, it’s bitter but sweet, just like Sunggyu’s love.

 

“Hey, hey, are you okay, Woohyun? Is something wrong? Did you hurt somewhere?” Sungyeol asks, alarmed, when Woohyun can’t control himself this time and sobbing.

 

Sungyeol wrap his arm wround Woohyun’s shoulder, rubbing him and comforting him when Woohyun falls in his silent cry without saying anything.

 

“If you miss your hyung, why don’t you call him?” Sungyeol suggest, guessing by how Woohyun react when he look at his hand phone, he is indeed missing his lover.

 

Woohyun shakes his head. “I can’t,”

 

“Why? You said your hyung love you, you said he is real. But why can’t you call him?” Sungyeol gasp. “Did he break up with you? Did he think you’re a nuisance?”

 

Woohyun shakes his head again. “No. No. No.” He look at Sungyeol. “Hyung know nothing. I didn’t get in contact with him since the accident,”

 

“What?” Sungyeol retreat his hand to his side. “Woohyun…”

 

Woohyun sniffed back his tears. “Hyung is busy. I can’t…I can’t bother him with this…this thing. I don’t want to trouble him. I don’t want to make him worry,”

 

“Woohyun.” Sungyeol put down his own cup to his side and swing Woohyun’s wheelchair to face him. He grab Woohyun’s arms. “Your hyung has a right to know. Your hyung should be worry. If he love you like you said he is, he should be running here and be with you,”

 

“That’s why I don’t want him to know,” Woohyun half shout. “I don’t want to tell him. Because I know hyung will leave everything just to come back here,”

 

“I…I don’t understand. If he love you, it is right for him to be here,”

 

Woohyun shakes his head, tears falling down his cheeks. “I can’t tell him. I can’t ruin his future. Hyung had work hard to be where he is now. I can’t let him leave everything to come back,”

 

“I don’t understand.” Sungyeol lowered his hands. “He is still in South Korea, right? He can just come back to look at you, to be with you for a few days then he can go back to his work. You miss him and I’m sure he miss you too.”

 

Woohyun shakes his head again. “You don’t understand, Sungyeol. Right now, hyung is in the middle of an important training. I know my hyung. If he heard about me, about that accident, he will leave everything just to be with me. He won’t be here just for a few days, I’m sure of it. Him leaving his training means he will risk his future. And I don’t want hyung destroying his future because of me.”

 

Training? Is he in the army? Or is he one of the soccer maniac just like him? “But this is wrong, Woohyun. You can’t keep him in the dark forever.”

 

Woohyun brush his cheek. “This is the only thing I can do to support my hyung.” He look at Sungyeol in the eyes. “I miss my hyung but I shouldn’t be selfish. Hyung should focus in his training and be the successful man he deserve,”

 

“What about you? Don’t you deserve your hyung’s time too?”

 

“I…I can manage,”

 

“Until when?”

 

Woohyun throw his eyes far away. “We will crossed the bridge when we get to it. Right now, I want to focus on my own training. I will be a nuisance because I miss my hyung but Sungyeol, I’m sorry, I really don’t want to risk ruining his future.”

 

Sungyeol sighs. “I really don’t understand you but if that’s what you wish,”

 

“Thank you…”

 

Sungyeol just smile sadly. He stands up, throwing the half cup of iced Americano to the bin, walk behind Woohyun to push his wheelchair and continue their way home.

 

-----------------------------

 

Sunggyu turns his head away as he brush his cheeks. A hand brush against his before they grab his hand, only to have Sunggyu intertwined their fingers together. The thumb of the hand rubs Sunggyu’s back hand. Sunggyu healed a breath to calm himself and sniffed back his tears before he turns to the owner of the hand, smiling apologetically at him.

 

“I’m sorry,” Woohyun whispers.

 

“Why do you keep the secret for long, Woohyunie?”

 

“I don’t know how to tell you,”

 

“I…for five years, I have been asking everyone, waiting outside your house, but I get nothing. An accident of a star soccer player resulting in him using a wheelchair, I’m surprise no one talk about this, not even my own parents,”

 

“You know how our town is, hyung,” the third voice said, pulling Sunggyu and Woohyun’s attention to him. “We’re not gossipers. Once we know something, we keep it to ourselves, afraid to talk to someone who didn’t know about it yet.”

 

“Sungyeol, thank you for being there with my Woohyun. You’re really a great friend,” Sunggyu says.

 

“Yes. Yes. I’m a great friend. We’re only friend. Don’t need to be jealous,” Sungyeol replies, lifting up the mood.

 

Sunggyu snort. “I do am jealous. You grew up together, you were there when the accident happen, you take care of him and you know his secrets,” he says regretfully.

 

“Sunggyu hyung,” Woohyun quickly says, pulling Sunggyu’s attention back to him. “Don’t blame yourself. I’m sorry for keeping this a secret, but I really don’t think it is wise to tell you when you’re busy training.”

 

Sunggyu put his other hand on top of Woohyun’s. “I understand your concern. You’re right. I will leave everything and go back to Sabuk to be with you. If I do, I have to pay a fine and they might not want me back again. But I won’t say you did the right thing. Why don’t you just call me and say nothing about the accident? At least I’m not left in the dark wondering why my Woohyunie suddenly cut contact with me,”

 

“I…” Woohyun lowered his head, healing a breath before he lift them again. “I don’t have the strength to call you. I’m afraid…I will broke down as soon as I hear your voice. And if I do, you will leave and running back home and…and…”

 

Sunggyu pulls Woohyun into his arms. He break their intertwined fingers just to wrap his arms around Woohyun’s small frame. One hand behind Woohyun’s back and one hand in Woohyun’s hair. The lovers say nothing but swimming in each other’s warmth for comfort and strength. Sunggyu kiss Woohyun’s head as his fingers run through Woohyun’s hair. Woohyun closed his eyes, basking in Sunggyu’s love that he well deserve. He almost forgot they are not alone in the room. When he open his eyes, Sungyeol look at him half mocking him.

 

There’s e-mails and line and kakao and other type of messages you can choose.

 

Shut up.

 

You’re an idiot for keeping the distance. Sigh. You’re lucky Sunggyu hyung is…

 

“Wait,” Sungyeol says, regretfully breaking the lovers apart. Sunggyu let go of Woohyun and turns to Sungyeol. “Are you two back together now?”

 

“We’re not breaking up if that what you mean,” Sunggyu replies.

 

“No I mean…” He look at Woohyun then back at Sunggyu. “You guys not broke up?”

 

“No,” Sunggyu says sternly. Hand grabbing Woohyun’s. “We’re just taking a break, not breaking up. I don’t remember we talk about a split.”

 

“Okay. Okay. Shesh,” Sungyeol says quickly, lifting his hands to surrender. “But who had thought the secret boyfriend Woohyun won’t tell me about is Sunggyu hyung.” He look at his friend. “No wonder you won’t tell me anything. Sunggyu hyung is a town star and you were a star soccer player. If words coming out you two were dating, it will be the first news the town will talk and gossip to.”

 

Woohyun just move his lip upward, glad his friend understand finally understand him. Sunggyu glance at the grandfather clock at the corner or his living room.

 

“We still have some time to prepare for dinner,” Sunggyu says.

 

Sunggyu, Woohyun and Sungyeol currently sitting on the L shape sofa in Sunggyu’s living room. Sunggyu and Woohyun sit beside each other on one side while Sungyeol sits on the other side.

 

It is a week break before Sunggyu’s next venue in Paris, France. Today is Friday and they will fly to the country on Sunday. Myungsoo propose a get together at the bar they last went to but Sunggyu had a better idea. He invite everyone to his house for a dinner and they can spend the night. They are ecstatic. This is the first time they come to Sunggyu’s house. And the first time Sunggyu let people come to his house, other than his own family, Dongwoo and Woohyun.

 

Woohyun came early since Sunggyu pick him up to go shopping for preparation. They spend the afternoon together, eating lunch and just talk, having a date like every celebrity do. Woohyun was surprise when Sungyeol come around three in the evening. Sunggyu said he ask Sungyeol to come earlier than the rest of them, in pretence he need help. Sungyeol was confused as well because if the singer needed help, he should ask his manager rather than an unknown actor who he didn’t really close with yet.

 

The help turn out was the three of them sitting on the sofa and talk about their town, their school, and their past. Sungyeol got a shock out of his life when he learn the truth behind Woohyun and Sunggyu’s relationship. Sunggyu got emotional when he heard the reason why Woohyun choose to cut contact with him and keep him in the dark. And Woohyun…he knows the time will come to when Sunggyu ask the second secret he locked.

 

Sunggyu brush Woohyun’s back hand with his thumb. “Will you tell me about the nightmare?”

 

Ba-dump.

 

“Wha…what?” Woohyun gulp his saliva. He exchange glance with Sungyeol but the taller is as surprise as him.

 

“Dongwoo told me you had a nightmare in London. And I saw it myself when we were in Berlin.” Sunggyu tightens his hold on Woohyun’s. “Woohyunie, will you tell me? Will you let me help?”

 

Woohyun lowered his head this time. Sunggyu start to get worried. Afraid Woohyun is not ready to open this secret yet and lock himself again. He might distancing himself and went to no contact again. No. No. No. Sunggyu can’t let that happen. Their relationship is doing great now that Sunggyu won’t let anyone or anything to get in between them. Not even the damn nightmare.

 

Slowly, Woohyun lift his head. Sunggyu’s breath caught in his throat. Woohyun’s eyes filled with tears and threatening to fall. Woohyun shut his eyes when Sunggyu brush his eyelid to wipe the unshed tears. When Woohyun open his eyes again, he was meet with Sunggyu’s concern and worry.

 

Sunggyu kiss Woohyun’s back hand, sending comfort. “I am here. I will always be here. Don’t be scared.”

 

As it turns out, Sunggyu doesn’t need to be worried. Because Woohyun is ready. Woohyun seems prepared and had plans to tell Sunggyu when the time comes. He just didn’t expect it to be today, on the same day he just told his part on why he went to no contact with the elder.

 

“You said…you know everything,” Woohyun started and Sunggyu nods his head. “Did you know about Kibum?”

 

After two months in therapy, Woohyun can say goodbye to his wheelchair. They were happy, they were touched, they were elated, they were crying. Woohyun’s mother throw a small party to celebrate the success of Woohyun walking without falling again. Just his small family, Sungyeol and Hoya. After the party, Hoya went home but Sungyeol stay for sleepover.

 

And that night was the first time Kibum came to visit him in his sleep. Woohyun was confused but he thought nothing of it. He believe Kibum came because they both miss each other. When semester end, Woohyun got first in his class; because he can focus on his study rather than using his time running on the field, Kibum came again. First day in third year, Woohyun got a confession from a girl Kibum had a crush on, Kibum came for a visit. Woohyun got a call from both Seoul National University Soccer Team and Korea Football Association, telling him they still want to sponsor Woohyun’s study if he still interested, Kibum again visit him in his sleep.

 

After graduate, Woohyun got an offer from Seoul National University and he got the scholarship from the soccer team like they promise. He is happy and excited and he want to go. Both Woohyun and Sungyeol make plans how to move and settle in Seoul, the house, the part time work, the commute. They didn’t get to enrol to the same university, so they need to choose a house in the middle to make it easy for the both of them to commute. Since the day he got the offer letter, Kibum won’t stop coming in his dream, every day, without fail.

 

Woohyun was not confused anymore but rather he start to feel scared and questioning the reason behind these visits. He went to the cremation house to give his respect but it won’t stop him from coming at night.

 

Sungyeol told him he might have to postpone his study since he didn’t have that much money to survive the university life, since he didn’t get scholarship like Woohyun. But he said they can still move to Seoul. Woohyun can go study and Sungyeol will work to save money first. They can rent a house near Woohyun’s university and Sungyeol guess the area should have many job offers. Woohyun jokingly said he might not going as well and wait until Sungyeol had enough money so they can start their university year together.

 

Kibum didn’t come that night.

 

That’s when Woohyun guess Kibum’s visiting had something to do with when he got an offer or a good news.

 

“That’s absurd,” Sunggyu can’t help but to half shout.

 

“But it’s true,” Sungyeol interfere, earning attention from the lovers. “It might look like a coincidence or stupid, but that’s what Woohyun think.”

 

Sunggyu look at the man beside him. Woohyun had his head low, the sadness kicking him, both from remembering his poor friend and for his pitiful future.

 

“Woohyun…” Sunggyu lift Woohyun’s head with his fingers on his chin. “Is that why you didn’t want to debut?”

 

Woohyun nods his head. “I’m scared. He came when the management brought an offer for modelling, he came when they want me to change to singing department, he came when Dongwoo-shi want me to debut, he came when you didn’t chose me to be a backup dancer but you want me to be an idol.”

 

Sunggyu gasp, remember something. “Did he came before we fly to London?” Woohyun nods his head as an answer. “That…that’s why you suddenly change your mind in the morning, because you were afraid.”

 

Again, Woohyun nods his head. “He came to warn me, he didn’t want me to have a better life,”

 

“But why? He was your best friend, right? He must want the best for you,”

 

“Actually…” Sungyeol in when he sense Woohyun won’t talk about this. “Kibum is the kind of a jealous best friend. I believe he is jealous Woohyun survived the accident but he was not. So he is doing anything he can to stop Woohyun to live a better life,”

 

“Sungyeol,” Woohyun warns.

 

“What? It’s true. You’re terrified to move on because he will hunt you in your dream, deprived you from your sleep and make you lose your sanity,” Sungyeol throw his thought out.

 

“But still, it’s not nice to talk about the dead,” Woohyun reminds him.

 

Sunggyu frowns. Sungyeol was not making sense but it’s not strange either. He understand now why Woohyun had change so much. The once strong heart headed and brave Woohyun turns timid just because of a nightmare. No one can keep their sanity if they were deprived from their sleep. Imagine if Woohyun debut as an idol, how frequent the late Kibum will come to visit him. Woohyun won’t have the strength to cope up with the busy schedule with how little time of sleep he get. Lacking rest because of work and because of a nightmare is two different thing. Woohyun might be scared to even shut his eyes, afraid every time he do so, Kibum will come to hunt him down.

 

Sunggyu turns to Woohyun. His beloved is having a stare contest with Sungyeol. A small pinch of jealousy sprout in his gut but the worriedness of Woohyun’s wellbeing is stronger than some petty jealousy. Rejecting the offer to debut, not wanting to go to London, changing the plan to move house, Sunggyu believe it were all because of this late friend. The nightmare in London and Berlin is something to think about later since Sunggyu didn’t remember Woohyun had a good news prior to the night to invite the visitation.

 

Woohyun was startled when he once again pulled into Sunggyu’s arms. He feels Sunggyu brush his hair and whispers comforting word in his ears.

 

“I’m here. I will protect you. We will take care of this so he won’t bother you again,”

 

“Hyung…”

 

“We will try to make him stop. We will visit him, we will give offering, we will call for exorcise, anything, we will do anything to make sure he won’t come again.”

 

Woohyun lean his head on Sunggyu’s shoulder as he wrap his hands around the elder’s back. He is afraid, yes. But remembering the night back in Berlin, Kibum had disappear before Woohyun wake up from his sleep, like usual. And waking up in the morning, he found himself securely sleeping in the arms of Sunggyu. It was shameless of him to think this way but he guess he can sleep through the nightmare and Kibum’s disappearance had something to do with Sunggyu’s warm engulfing him.

 

They had to break their hug when the loud voice of Jang Dongwoo bloom at the entranceway, announcing his arrival. Sunggyu glance at the grandfather clock.

 

“We will discuss about this later, okay?” He turns to Sungyeol. “I hope for your help on this too, Sungyeol.”

 

The new actor nods his head. “Sure. Anything for my best friend.”

 

Sunggyu glare at him, a hint of warning from his small eyes that Sungyeol choose to brush it off cheekily. Sunggyu pulls Woohyun up to start with their dinner preparation in time with Dongwoo and Sungjong show themselves at the living room.

 

“Hey, everyone, I’m here too,”

 

“Why are you here? I don’t remember inviting you,” Sunggyu tease.

 

Sungjong pouts but then he runs to Woohyun’s side. “You guys are busy with the world tour and I miss everyone.” He link his hand with Woohyun’s arm. “But I miss Woohyun hyung the most. Let’s talk when they waste away with alcohol,”

 

“Since when you two are friends?” Sunggyu tsk, prying Sungjong’s hand away and pulling Woohyun with him to the kitchen.

 

“Since before you guys went to Berlin.” Sungjong follows after them. “Woohyun hyung is a great manager. Hyung, if you don’t want to debut, will you be my manager next?”

 

“Never!”

 

Dongwoo just shaking his head watching the singers banter with each other on their way to the kitchen. He follows after them as Sungyeol copied him.

 

“I thought you will come with Hoya?” Sungyeol asks.

 

“Hoya still had something to do and he will come with Myungsoo.”

 

Sungyeol stop dead in his track. “Myungsoo?”

 

Dongwoo glance backward, nodding. “Yeah. Why?”

 

“How will Myungsoo come here?”

 

Dongwoo tilted his head. “His manager will drive them of course,”

 

“What?” Sungyeol can’t help but to shout.

 

Dongwoo blink his eyes, startled. “Wh..what? Why? Is something wrong?”

 

Sungyeol doesn’t reply as he turns around, fishing his hand phone to make a call to his actor friend. Don’t you dare get Minho to drive you. Hoya can’t see him. Woohyun had too much happen today to hear Minho’s name.

 

-----------------------------

 

How is it?

Is it bad?

Please leave some comment.

 

 

So…here it is. The reason behind Woohyun went to no contact with Sunggyu. It’s stupid but we have to respect Woohyun’s decision. Hehe.