It’s Kim Sunggyu’s First World Tour and the first country is England. Fans start gathering outside of Eventim Apollo, hours before the concert start. Thankfully the weather is nice with the autumn breeze whispers melancholic to the fans’ ears.

 

Inside the venue, everyone is rushing here and there to do a last minute check and make sure everything is perfect. As an assistant manager, Woohyun supposed to be beside Sunggyu or Dongwoo, to tend to everything the singer needs. But Sunggyu is half sulking because he didn’t see Woohyun since the evening. He did only catch a glimpse of the younger before he went missing again.

 

“Are you nervous?” Bora asks.

 

“Huh? Why?”

 

“Because you can’t keep still,”

 

“Sorry,” he says sheepishly.

 

Bora tsk and laughed when she put on makeup on his face, but Sunggyu knows better than to get in her nerve when she is working. She might lost her balance and accidently put too much eyeliner or she can stab his eye with the tip of the brush.

 

“But of course you might be nervous. This is your first venue after all,”

 

“No matter if it was the first or the hundred, I would still feel nervous,”

 

“You would do great. Don’t worry.” She is quiet for seconds. “Perfect! It’s done.”

 

Sunggyu look at himself in the mirror while Bora tidying the table. “I still can’t understand why they want to send you to Sungjong. You’re doing greet with me,”

 

“They just want to send a new one for you, I guess?” Bora shrugged. “Everyone would be lucky to be in your team.”

 

Sunggyu just laugh at the response while he checking his face before Bora shoo him away to get ready with his clothes. He look around the waiting room, still no sight of Woohyun present. He see Dongwoo but he is afraid to disturb him when he saw the manager look busy.

 

“Sunggyu-shi, get ready. Ten minute before stage,” a stage assistant tell him.

 

He nods but his head turning right and left, looking for the other manager he has. He will be on stage soon. This is his first time performing live knowing Woohyun is close. Before this, every time he sings on stage, he imagine Woohyun is watching him on TV, supporting him from the back. But since Woohyun is there in his team, he can’t help but wanting to see Woohyun from where he stand on stage.

 

“Wait, maybe he was there every time I sing on stage?” Sunggyu guess, but then he shake his head. “No. It can’t be. If he was there, I could see him,”

 

“What are you talking about, hyung?” Dongwoo asks, suddenly on his face.

 

“Where’s Woohyun?”

 

“That’s the first thing you ask?” Dongwoo groans. “Woohyun was in the room with the dancers. They need more people to help so I ask him to go over there,”

 

“But he is my manager.” Sunggyu pouts, walking to get ready to go on stage.

 

“In times like this, we should use any manpower we have. Why are you so greedy?”

 

“I’m not…”

 

“Sunggyu-shi, five minutes,” the same stage assistant informed.

 

Sunggyu shut his eyes, to give himself a moment to ready his mind, heart and soul. He was sulking because it’s been hours since he last saw Woohyun. But he has to put this selfishness away if he want to give his entertainer mode at best for his fans. This is not South Korea. It is not every day the English fans see him this close.

 

The concert is an hour and a half. Woohyun can see him on stage any time he want and Sunggyu hope he can see him in this duration from the stage.

 

Sunggyu open his eyes, and froze when the subject of his desire standing just before him. Sunggyu lowered his head to look when Woohyun’s hand grab his. Then he lift his head to look at the younger.

 

“Good luck, hyung. Fighting!”

 

Sunggyu can’t describe how his heart blossom with happiness and how the butterflies in his stomach fly in excitement. He smiles as his thumb brush Woohyun’s back hand, seeking the unending support to give him strength to stand on stage.

 

------------

 

To celebrate Kim Sunggyu 1^st World Tour in the first venue, the team gather in the small club of the hotel to drink and waste themselves. Even though he can’t drink, Woohyun still join the team just to show his face and support. But he was not long at the club. He only drink a glass of coke while talking to everyone before he excuse himself.

 

He went to their suite, clean up and get ready to bed. He smiles to himself. The concert is a success. Fans filled the venue, the merchandise sold out, the light stick blinking in the hall, the fans sing along and cries with the singer. And the fans won’t stop cheering for the artist, Woohyun is sure they will have a sore throat tomorrow.

 

Woohyun was at the front of the stage, watching Sunggyu from up close. It’s been so long, five years even, since he last see Sunggyu singing live in just a few metres from him. It bring back memories. It make him remember how he really like Sunggyu’s singing voice, it’s calming and full of feeling. He is really proud of Sunggyu and it make him fall in love again.

 

Woohyun pulls the blanket up to his nose. He knows he is greedy if he wish to see Sunggyu singing from the front row of the stage. Moreover he is an assistant manager now, he should be working, to always be ready to tend to Sunggyu’s needs rather than watching him singing. But he can’t help but wishing he can watch the singer perform every day, every time, since he got the chance to be in Sunggyu’s circle.

 

Woohyun shut his eyes, he have to sleep now if he want to wake up early tomorrow. Sunggyu said he want to take him out sightseeing London. He is excited but he is afraid at the same time.

 

Of course.

 

He always had a reason why he have this uneasy feeling.

 

He come again, all the way from Sabuk. He wear the same t-shirt as he had that night, looking down on him with unreadable expression. He hold out his hand, hoping Woohyun would grab him. The hand twist slowly, the palm raise upward as if to stop him, and the palm move downward as if to push him.

 

Woohyun wake up, panting hard. His heart beating harshly and screaming to jump out of his chest.

 

This is the first. This is the first time he did something when he came to visit. Usually he only came to show his face, just watching until Woohyun wake up from his nightmare. But this time, he did a hand gesture with his face expressionless. Woohyun didn’t know what that means but the last one his hand is pushing the air.

 

Pushing…me?

 

Woohyun turns on his side, back facing Dongwoo’s bed. He was remembered the night of the accident. He didn’t see it but he can feel the hand push him, making him fell down on his stomach. Up to this day, he never see that part in Sungyeol’s video. He didn’t have the courage to watch them. 

 

The hand gesture in his dream, was it a remembrance of the night? Or was it a warning like Woohyun thought he always do?

 

True, Woohyun was throwing a tantrum the day before yesterday, debating in his inner thought if he should go or not to Sunggyu’s world tour in London. Holding to Sungyeol’s words and promise, he brave himself the risk to finally go. He thought everything is okay, it should be okay, and he can finally live his life happily and see his future. He was so happy to finally get to see Sunggyu sing again and he wish he can do so as long as they breathe. But with he came tonight, Woohyun doubt he can keep his sanity to embrace the chance to still be in Sunggyu’s team.

 

Tears start falling from the corner of his eyes. He doesn’t know what time it is now but he wish he can fall back to sleep with crying his heart out, not realizing Dongwoo was back to the room and still awake to watch him have a trouble in his sleep and weeping by himself.

 

-------------

 

It’s a free day today before they fly back to Seoul tomorrow. Since this is the first venue, the management thought it is wise to give the team some time off to enjoy themselves before they run through a post mortem to prepare for the next venue, two weeks from now on. Besides, not every year you could step your foot down in London, right? That’s why everyone enjoying themselves, going out as soon as they finish breakfast, ignoring the hangover they have from last night.

 

Woohyun has his red cap on his head and an ash colour jacket to keep him warm. The season just starting but one shouldn’t neglect the necessity to avoid getting sick. He had enough reason to trouble everyone, he doesn’t wish to add worry for his wellbeing make them watch him all the time like some spy or CCTV.

 

After breakfast, Sunggyu take Woohyun out to tour around London. They went to the park, to Buckingham Palace, Big Ben, Tower of London, National Art Gallery and watch a comedy show. After lunch, they ride the London Eye to get a full view of London from higher up.

 

They sit opposite of each other in one of the capsule, watching the city grow smaller with every level they get above the land.

 

“Wow…we could see our hotel from here,” Woohyun says, planting his face on the mirror, ignoring the visor of his cap knock against the glass. “Look, hyung. There is Eventim Apollo. If I came yesterday, maybe I can see fans queueing. Oh, is that the park we go this morning?”

 

Sunggyu can’t help the smiles on his face and the fluttering butterflies in his stomach. He is so happy that no words can describe his feeling. He even dare to let a thought crossed his brain, he wouldn’t mind if the capsule loosen its screw and they both falling down from up the sky if its mean he can die together with Woohyun.

 

Living to the end of his life with the one he love is one of his dream.

 

“He was groaning and trusting in his sleep as if he is in pain. I thought his shoulder is hurting. I was just throwing my blanket when he suddenly wake up, I can even hear his hard breath. I think…Woohyun was having a nightmare,”

 

“Nightmare?”

 

“He then turn his back on me, but I hear his sobbing,”

 

“He was crying?”

 

Dongwoo nods, he look at Sunggyu with uncertainty. “Do you remember when I ask if Woohyun suddenly thought of not coming in his sleep?”

 

“That Sungyeol said we should ask Woohyun ourselves…?”

 

Dongwoo nods again. “Do you think…it had to do with the nightmare? May be Woohyun had a nightmare before we came here, that’s why he refuse to join. He was fine the night before but he got the nightmare again last night.”

 

Sunggyu feels his blood boil and unconsciously he fist his knuckles. “Who dare to give nightmare to Woohyun? I won’t forgive anyone who dare to hurt my Woohyun.”

 

The short conversation he shared with Dongwoo this morning while Woohyun is getting ready crossed his mind. Woohyun had a nightmare? Is that why he suddenly had a change of mind in just a span of a night?

 

And…

 

Sunggyu eyed the younger in front of him.

 

He had a nightmare last night? He looks fine and cheerful, no one would guess he had trouble sleeping the night.

 

“Hyung…” Woohyun turns his head to call for Sunggyu’s attention but he lowered the cap on his head when he realize Sunggyu’s eyes bore into him.

 

“That cap looks good on you,”

 

“Th…thanks…” he says, turning he head back to the glass window.

 

Sunggyu smirk seeing Woohyun’s ears growing as red as his cap. As much as he likes teasing the younger, he thought he should spared him for the mean time if he doesn’t want to ruin the surprise he has for the latter.

 

“What is it? Do you want to show me something?” Sunggyu asks, turning his head to the window as well.

 

Woohyun shakes his head, not looking at Sunggyu. “We’re almost done. Where are going next?”

 

“Huh?” Sunggyu tilted his head, looking at Woohyun. “Was that what you want to ask?”

 

Woohyun nods his head, still not looking at the elder. “Eung.”

 

Sunggyu smiles. “Secret.”

 

He pouts, turning to Sunggyu. “You’re not going to leave me alone, are you?”

 

“What?” He chuckles. “I would never leave you, Woohyunie, no matter what happen.”

 

Woohyun lowered his head and pulls down his cap to hide his face from Sunggyu’s eyes. He knows what Sunggyu mean with the words. He might mean here when they’re still in London, and he might mean something else considering their past.

 

They sit in silence. Woohyun still has his head low and Sunggyu just watch him, making sure he filled in every empty space he has because of the lost time.

 

Their capsule come to the stop, they both hop out of the vehicle and walk around the park for a while until Sunggyu say they should go this one place. Sunggyu won’t reveal anything about the place no matter how Woohyun ask him.

 

They take a taxi from the park to the destination, with Sunggyu show the name of the place on his hand phone to the driver, adamant on not letting Woohyun know, at all. But Sunggyu is praying in his heart that Woohyun won’t break down or throwing a tantrum or refuse to move further when they arrive later.

 

Sunggyu won’t stop thanking the Devine up there when Woohyun calmly following after him when they step out of the taxi, walking on the ground and enter the building. 

 

Woohyun look around slowly, inch by inch. He miss this. He miss the chairs of supporters, he miss the bench of players, he miss the smell of the grass, he miss the time he runs around on the field chasing after a ball with his teammates.

 

Sunggyu examined Woohyun’s face, waiting for a right timing to open his mouth and once again, hoping Woohyun won’t break down.

 

Woohyun look at Sunggyu when he feels a hand slide in his. “Hyung…”

 

Sunggyu smiles. “You were a soccer player. No matter what happen, I know you still like soccer.” He brush Woohyun’s back hand with his thumb. “It will be a shame if we’re not visiting a soccer stadium when we’re in the country of EPL,”

 

“But…” Woohyun look around the empty stadium. “Is it okay if we come here?”

 

“It’s part of the tour.” Sunggyu smiles, pointing to an English man standing not far from them that Woohyun failed to see before.

 

Sunggyu walk to the man, pulling Woohyun with him. The elder exchange a few words with the man before he take them touring the stadium. They start with the player’s dressing room, both The Blues’ and the visitor’s. Then the press room, television room, walking through the Player’s Tunnel to the pitch side and dugouts. They end their walk with touring the museum last. Woohyun look at the lines of jerseys and trophies with awe. He read the history and story of The Blues earnestly, with Sunggyu stay by his side and never let go of his hand.

 

Sunggyu smiles watching the younger. He is not a fan of sport, moreover a soccer. He is not interested with the tour and the stories in the museum. But he didn’t regret to add the tour in their itinerary. Because he can see the passion and enthusiasm in Woohyun’s eyes, the same spark he saw when they were still a high school students.

 

Woohyun turns to face Sunggyu when he feels the elder’s thumb brush his back hand. Sunggyu smiles, and he return them. Sunggyu lean closer till his breath brush against Woohyun’s cheek.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Woohyun nods. “Thank you, hyung.”

 

Sunggyu sneak his other free hand up Woohyun’s arm and circled them around Woohyun’s back, pulling him in his embrace. “Anything for my boyfriend.”

 

Woohyun’s eyes widen, he push himself from the hug with the hand not in Sunggyu’s hold. “What…what do you mean boyfriend?”

 

“Mmm? What do you mean?” Sunggyu lift the cap on Woohyun’s head slightly. “You’re my boyfriend, and I am yours,”

 

“What? Since when?”

 

Sunggyu pouts. “Since I ask you out, almost seven years ago,”

 

“Yes, but no. We had breakup,”

 

“No, since when?”

 

“Since…” Woohyun trailed off. He can’t bring himself to mention the year of the accident.

 

Sunggyu smiles. “When you suddenly went to no contact and change your number, ignoring me for five years?”

 

Woohyun lowered his head, mumbling how unfair of Sunggyu to bring it up calmly to rub on his wound.

 

“That’s not count. I don’t recall us ever breaking up.”

 

Woohyun lift his head. “Huh?”

 

“You just cut contact with me but we didn’t say anything about breaking up. Technically, we’re still dating,”

 

“But…but, hyung…” Woohyun is at a loss of word.

 

Sunggyu smiles. “You are my boyfriend and I am your boyfriend. We were not breaking up. We were just taking a break, and now here we are, together as a couple again,”

 

“Hyung.” Woohyun look at Sunggyu, flabbergasted. Sunggyu can’t be serious, can he?

 

True, they lost contact five years ago when Woohyun choose to ignore Sunggyu after the accident. They live their life separately these years, no news, no notes, no messages, no calls, as if they were never know each other. Woohyun miss Sunggyu, of course. He cure his longing with watching Sunggyu on television, listening to his radio shows, reading his fan café and news reports, supporting Sunggyu silently from behind. It’s not enough but it can do for the moment.

 

Sunggyu is his first love and he love him still.

 

But to have Sunggyu still hold on their relationship after what he had done, Woohyun can’t bring himself to agree. He is elated. But he is scared, and it sound weird when they still in relationship after the five years on hiatus.

 

“Will you kiss anyone who is not your lover?” Sunggyu asks.

 

“Of course not. I won’t kiss anyone. I’m not that easy,” Woohyun replies, slightly hurt.

 

“Then surely you kiss me because I’m your boyfriend, right? You won’t kiss me if we had broken up.” Sunggyu smirk.

 

Woohyun’s cheeks grow rosy colour. “I…it’s…it’s not a kiss.”

 

Sunggyu shrugged. “You had touch my lips with your lips. It still count as a kiss,”

 

“Hyung…” Woohyun whine, feeling embarrassed than ever.

 

“And you call me hyung,” Sunggyu pointed out. “Don’t you dare to call me Sunggyu-shi or Sunggyu-nim or Singer Kim,” he warns quickly when Woohyun open his mouth, to correct himself when he realize his mistake may be. Sunggyu lift his hand to cup Woohyun’s cheek. “My beautiful Woohyunie. I miss you.”

 

Woohyun leans on Sunggyu’s palm. “I miss you too, Sunggyu hyung.”

 

Sunggyu smiles. “Now you should listen to this amazing boyfriend of yours, okay? We are still dating, okay?”

 

Woohyun pulls away, smiling cheekily. “We should go back, hyung. It’s almost dinner time.”

 

“Huh? Yah!” Sunggyu pouts when Woohyun easily break free from him and walk out of the museum.

 

Today is great. Sunggyu got to spend alone time with Woohyun touring around London, eating delicious meals and taking photos in his hand phone. It feels like when they were still a teenager, going on a date after school was over. Sunggyu miss those time and it feels like they reminiscing the memories. Sunggyu is glad Woohyun was not breaking down at seeing a soccer stadium, a place where he might remember the fateful accident which change his life.

 

He was calm and fine seeing a soccer field and a goal post. So it should be okay if Sunggyu tries to investigate his nightmare, right? He won’t question tonight. Sunggyu doesn’t wish to ruin the smiles on Woohyun’s face and he want to keep today as a happy day. He will try to ask later, some day. But tonight, he pray Woohyun has a good sleep without anyone bother to come haunt him in his dream.

 

He really hope so.

 

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How is it?

Is it bad?

Please leave some comment.

 

 

To clarify, I’m not a fan of The Blues. I just use their stadium since it’s closer with the place they are touring. Hehe.