Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Slice of Life

Summary: Talking to people is hard, and looking them in the eye is difficult. Thankfully, Hitomi's balcony neighbor knows how to fix that.

Word Count: 8044

Hashtag: #SSBB_LookUp

Look Up

There is something comfortable about talking to a faceless crowd. Some people prefer talking in person, feeling the presence of others as assurance. But Hitomi thinks otherwise. It was way easier without seeing anything, without seeing their reactions. Maybe that’s why she chose this as a career. 

“Here’s a message from PuppyJin,” Hitomi read from her script. “Hello! I’m a recent college graduate who’d like to thank you for the restaurant recommendation. My girlfriend liked the hot pot and wanted to go there again. Please continue recommending us places!” 

“I’m glad you liked it, I’ve only gone there once with a friend so I wasn’t sure about it. I’ll try to find more places for you and your girlfriend!” Hitomi can see the staff chuckle a bit from behind the soundboard. She looks down at the bottom of the page. It was the last message. Her co-worker has her hands up, signalling that time was up.

“And it seems like our time is up today. It’s a shame, but I hope you enjoyed today’s segments! For our closing song, we will be playing TWICE’s Behind the Mask. This was World with You with your host, Honda Hitomi! ”

Hitomi gave her ending message then heaved a sigh as soon as the live sign turned off. She took off her headphones and took a deep breath. You did well today. She mentally gave herself a pat in the back before an actual warm hand gave her one. 

“Nice job as always Hitomi!” Sakura said. 

Having worked with her for two years already, she wasn’t overwhelmed by her presence. After all, she had a way with people despite her seemingly rich energy. It was surprising how she wasn’t a radio host herself, having chosen to be on the technical side of the show. She’d do a better job than herself, Hitomi thought. 

“Anyways, wanna grab some dinner? My treat!” she offered gleefully. Hitomi smiled at that. She recalled the older girl talking about a certain restaurant all week. “Chaeyeon and Hyewon would love to have you!” At the mention of two other people, Hitomi stiffened.

Breath in, breath out. 

It was just three people. They’re just unnie’s friends, she’s met them before. It’s just a short meal, maybe some small talk here and there. She can handle it— no, it was too much. Her right hand scratching her neck, she looked down at the floor, trying to spit out an excuse. But instead nothing came out. 

“Hey,” she said softly. “Don’t force yourself, they won’t mind if you’re too busy.Gotta take care of Gary and Marcus now, right?” Sakura chuckles. She mentions the plants Hitomi cares for. Well, her non-existent cactuses— she considers buying actual cactuses so she wouldn’t be lying about taking care of one, but it doesn’t matter. She’s pretty sure Sakura knows.

“Sorry, I promise I’ll join you next time unnie.” She looked up and gave a small smile, hoping it shows that she’s being sincere. 

“It’s fine,” she smiled. Sakura wasn’t forceful, and she was thankful for that. “Get home safely!” Hitomi watched her leave, smiling sadly before getting her own stuff and preparing to depart. 

She arrived at her apartment, ignoring how everything she owned was nowhere to be seen, packed in different boxes. Hitomi went straight for her room and plopped down on her bed. She laid down for a few minutes, replaying the conversation in her mind. Would joining them for dinner change a thing? Maybe if she accepted it, things would have turned out different.

A notification interrupted her thoughts.

Maybe moving would give her another chance. Sure, it wasn't as drastic as she thought it'd be, it was just a different apartment complex. It was still in the same city. She still has the same job, and she definitely won’t be leaving her bare amount of friends behind. But it was something new. New scares her, but that may be what she needs to finally change.

Hitomi sighs, recalling her previous conversation with Sakura.

It should’ve been fine. She’s met them before, they seemed like kind people. They wouldn’t hurt her. They’re all grown adults, that should be the least of her worries. But her mind refused to see that, so she succumbed to the fear and let herself lose another opportunity.

So she spends the rest of the afternoon staring at the ceiling, as if doing so will make all those feelings go away. That she’ll close her eyes and wake up feeling better, without fear of anything. Without fear of them. 

It doesn’t, but it won’t hurt to dream.

----

"So, what do you think?"

Hitomi lowered the last box and stretched her arms before looking around. The apartment was well furnished, complete with a nice couch and a small television. The walls were covered in a light shade of green, and the floors were made of a pale colored wood. The window facing outside the building made the area feel spacier and ventilated. 

It wasn’t just the apartment itself. The complex was in the middle of a quaint little neighborhood complete with cafes and small shops scattered around. On their way here, they spotted a park. There were a few people jogging around and others were walking their dogs. It was also nice that there was a grocery store close enough to walk to.

"It's nice.” While the place itself wasn’t a big step up from her last place, the surroundings were definitely an improvement. Her previous neighbors weren’t exactly quiet, nor were the cars from the main road right in front of the old building. “How'd you find this place?"

"My uh, roommate's girlfriend told her about a free spot here." She nodded, not asking her to elaborate. Nako plopped down on the couch, stretching her back. Who knew such a small person could carry so many boxes? “The previous owner didn’t like the balcony, not sure why," she shrugged.

“There’s a balcony?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty nice right? You’d need the fresh air.” Hitomi jabbed her for that.

“I go outside once in a while.” 

“Besides going to work? Or restocking your fridge?” Hitomi goes out for coffee though. “Or getting coffee?” Damn it.

“What are you implying?” Hitomi glared at her.

“Nothing, nothing.” Nako put her hands up in surrender. “I just want you to go out more, my child. Talk to people, make friends.” The teasing look on her eyes was replaced with sadness. Hitomi just nodded, giving a small smile.

A few hours passed as they continued to unpacked. Well, most of it was spent with Nako reminiscing about some of her stuff (“You still have this plushie?” “Do you want me to throw it away?” “It does smell a bit.” “Hey you-”). Thankfully, they were able to finish organizing the plates and other kitchen tools, together with some groceries they picked up on the way. Hitomi didn’t want to order take-out, having eaten only chinese food this past week. 

They both sat on the couch, deciding to take a break and catch up. Nako talked about a senior at work, Eunbi, and complained about being treated like a baby. Apparently her height was the reason. Hitomi agreed silently. When the topic of friends came up, Nako briefly mentioned her roommate then moved on. Hitomi talked about work, but kept silent about what happened. She didn’t want Nako to worry anymore.

"Sorry Hiichan, I'll have to get going." Nako looks at her watch. 7 PM. She lives on the other side of the city. "Gotta get up early tomorrow."

Hitomi shakes her head. "It's fine! You've helped me a lot today." She didn’t want to ask for help, but Nako insisted on helping. She even took a leave for her. Hitomi is really grateful for a friend like her.

"Then, as thanks for today, you better be paying for coffee next time," she winks. 

As soon as Nako left, she plopped herself on the couch, feeling drained. Thank god she doesn’t have work tomorrow. Feeling hungry and tired, she decides to order take-out, again. Another day won’t hurt. Hitomi was about to phone the restaurant when she heard a faint voice coming from outside. She tried to ignore it, but the voice got louder and louder, prompting her to go out to the balcony. There were a few empty pots and a small table plus chair on the side. 

"I wanna be me me me~!"

She turned her attention towards an open window from the opposite building. There was a young woman wearing a bathrobe with a towel wrapped around her head. She was brushing her teeth whilst moving her shoulder aggressively. The pink-haired woman was dancing around, singing a very familiar song. She might’ve heard it from Nako or Sakura. Hitomi could only stare in shock.

After a particularly high note, the woman in question finally noticed Hitomi. She froze in place, dropping her toothbrush. was ajar, traces of toothpaste on her lips. There was a few seconds of awkward silence and staring before she yelled out in surprise. This also made Hitomi scream. She runs back inside, closing the door abruptly. She vaguely hears the other person call out to her, but she was too embarrassed to return. Instead she ran to her barely organized room, opting to sleep her red cheeks away.

It looks like her new neighbor wasn’t a quiet one either.

----

“Great work today!” 

As soon as she said her goodbyes to everyone, she left the studio and headed straight home. While looking for her keys, she spots her actual next door neighbor outside, seemingly locked out with the way she was looking at her phone. Her face was almost comically angry, resembling a frog. She briefly considered introducing herself, but instead gave a small nod before quickly entering her apartment. 

It’s been two weeks since she moved in and she’s starting to get settled. The living room was now filled with a few picture frames of her family, with one picture of her and Nako during their college days. Her bedroom was also in a better state, her clothes now neatly folded in their specific drawers. 

It’s also been two weeks since the bathrobe woman incident happened. Ever since that day, Hitomi refused to step foot there in fear of being seen. She wouldn’t know what to do if that happens. Maybe she'd even consider moving out from sheer embarrassment. 

She heads to the kitchen, grabbing her leftover curry that totally wasn’t take-out. And it totally wasn’t from the Thai restaurant at the next street over. 

Today, feeling adventurous, Hitomi decides to take a gamble. She brings her plate of curry to the balcony, not before scanning the area for a certain pink-haired neighbor. As much as she likes to eat outside, she'd rather take extra precautions in case another unfortunate incident happens.Once the coast was clear, she took a seat and started eating.

Hitomi looks at the empty pots left behind by the previous tenant. She thinks about whether to throw it away or make use of it. Then she heard footsteps, specifically from the opposite balcony. She looks up, a spoonful of curry still in , and she sees her. Hurriedly, she swallows, almost choking. Hitomi was about to stand up, ready to leave when she interjected. 

“Wait!” Hitomi froze. She took a deep breath, calming herself before she turned to her neighbor. “I’d just like to say sorry. You kinda saw me in a very embarrassing position.” She chuckles. This time she was wearing a more appropriate outfit, an oversized hoodie with shorts underneath, plus a white cap which highlights her bright pink hair. 

“I’m Chaewon, and you are?” Hitomi glances at her before looking down.

“...Hitomi.”

“Hitoma?” She doesn’t try correcting her, embarrassed to repeat herself. Hitomi nods.

“Alright, nice to meet you Hitoma-sshi.” Hitomi nods in reply. If she looked up, she would see Chaewon holding out a hand for a handshake but retracting it out of realization. However, she doesn’t. Instead, she looks at her half empty plate of curry with shaky eyes.

“So uh, when did you move here?” She takes a bite of curry. “Was it when uh, that happened?” A nod. “Oh, I’m sorry that was the first thing you saw then. How do you like it here?” No reply.

This continued until she finished her meal. For every bite she took, Chaewon asked a question. Hitomi would nod or shake her head in reply. For those that need proper answers, she simply ignored the question and continued eating. Soon, she had to return to wash the dishes.

She glances up to see that her neighbor is seated at the floor, still looking at her. Hitomi avoids her gaze. “Sorry, I need to go," she says, almost a whisper.

“Oh, that’s fine. Thanks for hanging with me!”

The next day, she decides to eat outside again. This time she cooks an actual meal, feeling sorry for her body after more than three weeks of fast food. She takes a seat and takes a bite of her homemade katsudon, when a familiar voice comes up.

“Hitoma-sshi! You’re having lunch again?” The same thing happened; Chaewon asks a question, she nods or shakes her head. Then after finishing her meal, she leaves. 

“Nice talking to you!” she hears from behind as she closes the door. 

The next time wouldn’t be until the following week. Hitomi brings a snack instead, a grilled cheese sandwich she was craving for. Taking her seat, she digs in. Like last time, Chaewon came outside after a while, trying to start a conversation.

“Are you a college student, Hitoma-sshi? Do you work?” Hitomi nods, “What kinda job?” She didn’t answer. Chaewon started spouting random jobs. “Are you a librarian? Maybe a nurse? Ooh, an idol? You’re cute after all.” Hitomi blushes at that. Her guesses started getting more and more outrageous that she decided to answer.

“...a radio host.” 

Despite it barely coming out as a whisper, Chaewon was able to hear it. “Wow, that’s awesome,” she exclaims. “I can barely give a decent presentation, much less host a radio show.”

“You talk a lot for someone who isn’t one though.” Oh no. Hitomi’s hand flew to , not that it’ll help take back what she said. She closes her eyes, waiting for the inevitable, but instead she hears laughter. 

“That’s a good point,” she chuckles. “You’re younger than me right? Can I call you Hitoma then?” She nods.

This time she brings a book, not wanting to spoil dinner by eating earlier than usual. And maybe because she noticed how much her neighbor seemed to be staring at what she was eating, almost drooling by the time she finished. 

She arrives outside, a bit surprised to see that Chaewon was already there. She had a brown bag at hand, nibbling on a chocolate chip cookie. Having forgotten to eat a snack, it was tempting to ask for some. However, she didn’t want to steal any from Chaewon. She’s pretty sure this was for all the times she ate in front of her.

In order to avoid looking, she placed the book on her lap and read from there, not once giving a glance. The one-sided questioning starts again, a few moments of silence possibly from Chaewon eating. 

“Isn’t looking down bad for your neck?” Chaewon asks. 

That’s true. Her neck was starting to ache, even if she was used to this position. But she was too ashamed to sit properly. She was sure that her hunger would be seen as soon as she looked up. 

“I was starting to get jealous of you so I brought my own,” Chaewon explains. “Do you want a cookie?” Her stomach wants to say yes, but her brain doesn’t. It must be a trick question. Hitomi keeps silent, repeatedly reading the same passage. A minute passed, and she’s pretty sure she read the phrase ‘The Shift is coming,’ a hundred times already.

She hears her footsteps, then a door closing. Maybe she left, tired of her already. But then she hears the door open again. 

“Hitoma, look here.” 

Hitomi wills herself to look, and she is stunned. Her beautiful pink hair was nowhere to be seen, nor is her face. It was replaced by a horse mask covering her entire face. For the third time this month, her jaw dropped from shock. She can’t help but ask. “What is that?”

“Just think of me as an anonymous caller,” Chaewon suggests. She clears , tuning her voice to sound a lot goofier. “Uh, I’m Juan and I’d like advice on how to get a cute radio show host to accept my cookies,” she says in the fakest deep voice she ever heard. Hitomi snorted. 

“So, you want some?” 

She looked at her—the mask’s —eyes, then the uneaten cookie held out past the railings. Hitomi stands up, taking a step closer.

For once she reaches out, a cookie placed on her palm, and a warmth emanating from Chaewon’s hands and somewhere else. 

----

Two months passed, and their nearly one-sided conversations became routine. She’d have a meal or read a book in the balcony while Chaewon talks about anything and everything on her mind. At first, she simply listened, content with just watching her talk animatedly with the mask. As time went by, she allowed herself to relax. Hitomi would talk about work, cute videos, or food she wants to try. Chaewon would talk about her work, her friends, anything under the sun.

Hitomi learned a lot about her. Chaewon was three years older than her, working as a freelancer. Hence, she was often home. She lives in a two bedroom apartment with a senior from college. She also found out about her passion for singing, and mint chocolate, which she is disgusted by. She even has a youtube channel with a decent following.

(Hitomi watched all her videos in one sitting. Chaewon was a good singer, if their first encounter wasn’t enough).

“I’m just glad you didn’t run away from me again.” Chaewon confessed. “My last balcony neighbor did.” The horse mask was still on her head. She wasn’t fazed anymore but the first few days ended in her holding her laughter.

“Did you singing in your bathrobe also scare them away?” Hitomi teased. She could feel Chaewon glaring and pouting, her arms crossed. “Was it the mask then?”

“You-” A pause. “Well, you’re not wrong.” Hitomi raised her brow, asking her to elaborate.

“Yena-unnie and I were a bit too crazy that day.” She nods in understanding, recalling the various incidents Chaewon has retold to her. “But I still look pretty even with this on,” she brags, flipping her nonexistent hair. Hitomi rolls her eyes.

“What’s it like to live with someone?” she asks. She couldn’t imagine living with someone, much less interacting with someone everyday. Of course, Chaewon was an exception.

Chaewon placed her chin on her palm. Well, tried to, given the state of her head. “It’s annoying. Sometimes her clothes would be everywhere, and she’d bother me when I’m busy,” she groans. “But, it’s nice. It feels like having another sister. Well, an annoying one,” she sighs.

“Now I have a you,” she cheerfully said, like she was proud of Hitomi. “You