The magic of LA disappears the moment they check out of the hotel the next morning. No one mentions about the previous night, only tiptoeing around the breakdown.

If Jongkook just shuts his eyes, he can pretend like he’s still holding her hand, no worries in sight. But if he closes them, how can he spend the last few hours looking at her? As cheesy as that may sound, he can’t imagine himself going back to life before her, burying himself in work and ending the day at the gym till late. Now that he’s experienced this, it would be so difficult to let her go.

They enjoy the first class tickets back home, but Jihyo doesn’t nap like she did when they flew to LA. Perhaps she’s feeling the clock ticking down too, their last couple of moments together before reality hits again.

It’s an eleven hour flight, but Jongkook barely feels it. Then it’s eleven minutes to immigration. Welcome home, citizens. Eleven minutes to their luggages, because she decided to bring home a couple of clothes after all. Then eleven steps and they are out into the departure hall, officially in Incheon airport. 

There’s a heavy tension in the air as they hit the last part of their journey. It’s just eleven steps. Heck, eleven seconds away. But he can’t do this. Not without saying a proper goodbye.

“Jihyo.” Jongkook starts, knowing that she’s dragging her feet. “I had a great vacation.”

Jihyo waits, yearning for more, but that’s all he’s said so far. “That’s it?”

“I’ll miss the gym at the hotel.”

“That’s bull and you know it.” She calls him out, her voice thick with emotion. “We have to talk about what happens next. Don’t avoid it anymore, oppa. We’re in Korea now and in a few moments we’ll be out of that gate, and back to your apartment. You’re going to let me stay, right? Even though we can’t continue this?”

“No.” He shakes his head, willing himself to stay strong. One glance at her, and he might fall apart too. “You were right, Jihyo. No family should lose a family member. I thought about it, and I was selfish to think that I could hide you forever. When you came to me, you asked me for help. But now it’s time for you to go back to them.”

“Are you kicking me out of your house?”

“Of course not! No, he’ll bring you home safely.”

“No.” Jihyo shakes her head, tears springing to her eyes. There’s only one other person that Jongkook can refer to. “You didn’t.”

“I called your brother.”

“No—“

“He’s waiting for you outside the gate.” Jongkook cuts in, emotionless. “He knows I found you months earlier.”

“Oppa.” She lets out a gasp, unable to stop herself. “Why? How could you tell him?”

“Because I know this won’t end up with our happy story.” He declares sadly. He has to stay strong, otherwise they’d be two crying people in the middle of the airport, attracting unwanted attention. “I love you, Jihyo. But you were right. I have my obligations, and you are supposed to be missing, or dead. We are both on two very different paths from here onwards, whether we like it or not. We will each give up too much to stay together, so I had to decide for you to stay with your family.”

“You are my family too.” Jihyo whispers. “I haven’t given you my answer yet.”

“I know, but we can’t ignore what happened at the beach yesterday. Even if you didn’t say it out loud, you couldn’t find the strength to agree with me.” Jongkook finds himself reaching out to grab her hands. “Will you run away with me, Jihyo? Just the two of us; we’ll forget our families and my career. Are you willing to see me leave them behind?”

“No.” She realizes. “No, you can’t do that to yourself.” 

“Then I have my answer.” He hides a grimace, even though he knew what was coming. “It’s not your fault. It’s mine. I gave us hope and that’s on me.”

“But I didn’t tell you about the letter earlier. I should have told you—“

“It wouldn’t change anything. We were never meant to be, Jihyo yah. When we step out of this gate, you are legally Cheon Sooyeon. You aren’t Song Jihyo anymore.”

“I never was.” She reminds him, clutching his hands. It’s settling in now, more of an acceptance rather than denial. He’s right, she was way too worried about people finding out to take the risk with him. And now, he might feel the same. 

“I only knew you as Jihyo.” Jongkook smiles bitterly, like she just proven him correct. “Then it would be easier for me to say goodbye.”

“Goodbye?” Jihyo questions. She’s not panicking, not yet. What did he mean by that? “Why is this goodbye?”

“Remember what you said about the beach? You said you missed it. And you can see the sea again, in Pohang.” 

“Pohang...” She echoes, eyes widened. “But Seongmoon lives in Seoul.”

“I know.” Jongkook replies, his eyes cloudy.“For the deal to work, he promised something else.”

“Deal?”

“You’ll know in a moment.” He says vaguely. If he explains any further, he might start to cry too. He clears his throat, swallowing away the bubble of emotions threatening to rise up in his chest. “I have one last request.”

“Anything.” She whispers, because anything louder would start a full blown sob fest.

“Can I kiss you?”

He doesn’t even have to ask twice. She wants this as badly as he does, rising eagerly on the tip of her toes to meet his lips.

He kisses her, tasting the salty tears on her lips as she embraces him one last time. He kisses her so desperately that they are both gasping for air, looking like crazy people in the middle of the arrival hall. Anyone could recognize him, but he doesn’t give a damn. If they checked, no one would believe that he was kissing a ghost.

Jongkook pulls away first, allowing himself a long look at her before he steps away, distancing himself once more. He clears his throat, grabbing the luggage. “We have to go, Jihyo. Your brother is waiting.”

He didn’t mean to rush her, but he might not last long himself watching her cry over him. This is not what he envisioned, but she deserves more than a world of hiding. He walks first while she follows behind, wiping her tears discreetly so Seongmoon wouldn’t see.

Then they are out of the gate, eleven seconds later. 

Jongkook sees them first, Seongmoon just next to the seats, far away from the hustle of returning passengers and tourists. He brought in his side of the deal, and Mrs Cheon shrieks as she spots him, catching their attention.

“Seong Im? Seong Im!”

Jihyo hears them before she sees them, and she swears the floodgates open. If she was already crying before this, they wouldn’t have known. There in the corner are her parents, looking like they’ve aged a couple of decades. Her body takes over, and soon she’s running towards them with her arms open until she reaches the warm embrace of her mother’s arms. She feels like she’s ten again, a child, and then the tears come so quickly she’s soaking her poor mother’s blouse.

“Seong Im ah.” Mrs Cheon sobs, holding her oldest daughter. “You’re alive, my child. I can’t believe it!”

“Omma.” Jihyo breathes, inhaling the perfume her mother always carries. “Appa.”

The memories come flying into her head, childhood ones she thought she long forgotten. There were her parents, her biggest supporters. They were harsh on her at times but at the end of the day, they were always there. 

“Thank you for bringing her back, Jongkook.” Mr Cheon nods at the man standing behind the mother and daughter duo. A man of little emotions, even this reunion has him shaken up. “Thank you so much.”

“Anyone else would have done the same.” Jongkook forces a smile, his eyes watery and his voice hoarse. But no one will question him if he says that it was from the emotion scene in front of him. No one but Jihyo, who pulls away from her mother long enough to meet Jongkook’s eye one last time.

“You must come have dinner with us, Jongkook.” Jihyo’s mother invites, reaching over to shake his hand. “Please, we can’t thank you enough.”

“It’s alright, eommonim. I can’t intrude.” Jongkook grasps her hands warmly, smiling. “You must have many questions.”

“No, Seongmoon already filled us in and explained to us.” Mr Cheon nods. “We don’t want to question anything when we have Seong Im back. Please, do join us.”

Seongmoon, long forgotten at the side, agrees with Jongkook instead. “Omma, Jongkook hyung has had a long day too. We can’t force him to have a family dinner with us.”

Jihyo glances up at her brother, not missing the sneer he gave when he mentioned the family dinner. But when she looks closer, it’s gone. As if noticing her staring, her younger brother gives her a sorry smile, then walks over and wraps her up in a tight hug. 

“Don’t do that ever again, noona. I nearly had a heart attack when you went missing again.”

“I’m sorry, Seongmoon.” Jihyo mumbles against his shoulder, puzzled. What explanation did Seongmoon feed their parents? He was acting a lot less surprised and emotional than them. Perhaps it was because Jongkook called him first so he was already prepared... It would also explain the deal Jongkook had with her brother, to tell their parents the truth.

Seongmoon’s version of the truth, anyway.

She pulls away, turning to catch Jongkook’s eye again. But he’s preoccupied, talking to her mother and reassuring her that he wouldn’t want to head for dinner.

“I have to go.” Jongkook bows politely, handing Seongmoon her luggage. “I have work tomorrow.”

Running Man. He doesn’t say it, but she knows he has more to explain to Kwangsoo and the rest without her. 

“Please have a good night, Jongkook.” Mr Cheon shakes his hand firmly. “We would love to have a meal with you one day when you’re free.”

“Of course.” Jongkook smiles, still avoiding her. “Goodbye.”

Jihyo watches as he turns to go, leaving with nothing but his bag he brought. He doesn’t even take one look back, heading straight to the nearest exit. Then he’s gone.

And she’s right; no one questions it when her tears flow faster, hidden in her elated mother’s embrace. 

Jongkook hails a taxi, and reaches his apartment in a little under an hour.

There’s a lot of things he could do now. He could crack open a cold can of beer and watch the soccer match on TV, or he could respond to a few emails that need his input. Maybe call Ha Ha and let him know he’s home, alone, because he finally cracked and called Seongmoon. Or he could do the dreaded task of packing Jihyo’s things so he could send them to Pohang.

Getting Seongmoon to tell her parents was not difficult. The younger man wasn’t even shocked and agreed easily. After that, it was just the matter of giving him their flight details from LA to Seoul and sending him a message when they landed.

Jongkook decides to go ahead and grab the chilled beer from the fridge, but he doesn’t head to the TV. Instead, he makes a beeline to the room at the end of the hall. 

Jihyo doesn’t have a lot of things. Somin has lent her plenty and perhaps Byul as well, but she never bought anything with his card or money. The luggage full of clothes from LA would be his parting gift to her then, even though he’s aware that she’s not one for monetary possessions. 

He’ll have to bring her clothes to filming tomorrow and ask Somin to claim her items back. Folding them neatly into stacks, he focuses on his task at hand, trying to ignore the prickling sensation of his watering eyes. 

This is stupid; he’s cried for her before. At the funeral, of course. Sometimes, drunk at night. Perhaps the beer is not a good idea after all. Jihyo is alive and he’s treating it like she died all over again. Maybe it would be better if he thought so, otherwise he would want to visit her again and again and he’ll never learn to let her go.

Jongkook heads for the closet, most of it being empty since she doesn’t have much clothes. He moves them aside and spots the box he had given her after she found out the truth. Carefully, he drags that out and opens the lid. Right at the very top of the box is his notebook, the letter buried beneath that.

And because he can’t help himself, he takes the long forgotten letter and starts to read.

He’s more expressive when he writes. The label always wanted him to dabble into writing and put out an album soon, but he‘s more interested in entertainment these days. Reading this reminds him of the grief of losing her before, but this is different. This is voluntary, a loss he saw coming months ago.

In a different life, I would have confessed in a heartbeat.

The words hit him harder than ever and he folds the letter back up, returning it back to the box and covering it up again. He’s a fool. Confessions mean nothing to relationships that were never meant to be. The one thing he would live to regret is not doing it earlier.

No point losing sleep over this. His life is back on track again, his focus on work and going to the gym which he’ll gladly go over now. 

Tomorrow, he will be the same old Kim Jongkook he was a year ago without her.

Having grown up in a strict household, it’s strange for her parents to be this nice to her. They pamper her and only talk to her throughout dinner, and she barely registers half their words with how jet-lagged she is. 

Jihyo finally gets to head to bed in the room that was once hers, the sheets clean but the walls stripped bare. Her mother said her items were all packed and brought to their house in Pohang, which they would move back to in about a week to spend time with Seongmoon. 

Pohang.

Jihyo was not aware of that side of the deal. After Jongkook made sure Seongmoon told her parents about her reappearance, her younger brother hesitated and told him they’d want her to go back to Pohang. 

And Jongkook pushed for it.

He knew all throughout the flight that it would be the last time he might ever see her again and never once broke or touched her. She can still feel her lips tingling from the last kiss he gave at the airport, in the middle of baggage claims just right outside the gate to the arrival hall. 

No, she won’t cry again. It’s been a strange evening, her mother crying every few minutes and staring at her too often. Her father is usually very kept together as the head of the family, but she knows he’s been hovering around her throughout the meal.

Jihyo has never seen her mother so cheerful before, unlike her usual no-nonsense self. She was a swimmer, a national representative too. Nothing impressed her easily and the Cheon siblings grew up to be tough, just like their mother. 

Speaking of siblings...

Before she can think much of Seongmoon, there’s a knock on her door. “Come in!” She calls, thinking it might be her mother again.

“Noona.” Seongmoon greets, closing the door behind him. It’s a simple gesture, and her parents are a few doors away, but something in her chest tightens as he walks closer to her bed. “Are you sleeping now?”

“No, just thinking.” Jihyo rises, looking around. “Have the walls always been this colour?”

“Grey? No, I repainted it a few years ago.” He sits on the edge of the bed, giving her space. 

“I thought it would be white...”

“Have you remembered anything?”

The deja vu hits her as she imagines a similar version of this room and conversation, just months ago in a sterile hospital room that’s too bright and clean for her to call home. For some reason, it irks her that Seongmoon’s first private conversation with her is about her memories. It’s not like it had anything to do with him, but he’s more obsessed than her at this point. 

Lie. The voice inside her head tells her. Although she can’t work out why, she does exactly that. “No. It’s still the same, hazy mess.”

“You remembered our parents.”

It sounds almost like an accusation.

“They are our parents, Seongmoon. I know how they look like.” Jihyo forces herself to keep a neutral face. “You told me they were dead.”

“It was for your own good.” His voice hardens. “You still can’t remember?

“I swear, I’m still trying hard.”

Seongmoon looks at her carefully and she wills herself not to flinch. “Really? Then how did you find Kim Jongkook?”

“Jongkook-ssi found me and said he knew me.” Jihyo corrects, lying again. A same tiny voice inside her head tells her to distance herself from Jongkook. This is unlike her; she completely trusts Seongmoon, so why is she being so wary of him?

“And so you decided to trust him?”

“It is better than staying in a room with four walls, no?”

“So that’s what this was?” Seongmoon asks, an edge to his tone. “You weren’t happy with the hospital? You could have told me, noona. I would have taken you out and moved you some place else.”

“I don’t need a hospital.” She shoots back, confused.

“Of course you do. You need help, and—“

“Why do you keep insisting that I need help?”

She’s never actually hit back at him before. All this while, he was her only family. He visited often and paid for her stay, she could be nothing but a burden for him and so she never said a word.

Seongmoon stares at her for a hot minute, and for the first time, Jihyo feels her heart race. He’s younger than her by a couple of years, but it doesn’t mean that he’s any less tough. Like she said, their mother raised them to be strong on their own. 

“Because