Whims of Fate

You're probably wondering what was going on through my mind during the ride to the Karaoke House. Well, that's too bad, because you're not getting anything out of me. I refuse to talk about it in critical detail. Maybe, I'll let you know some things. Nevertheless, let's get these few topics straight: the handholding, the frowning, the vulnerability, and the dependency upon one of my best friends is now pushed to the farthest corner of my mind.

That's a promise.

It's an hour and a half later, and I'm still baffled at the fact that Bogum convinced me well enough to board the bus in the first place. Like, on what world—and, in what life—would I ever agree to something that someone else insists on? It's apparent that it's this one. The 'old' me would never. I did my own thing, make my own decisions, and venture on my own freewill. I do cling onto that lifestyle, as that is the way I always was, but it's clear that certain people are diverting me towards different, and more adventurous directions.

I'm impressed that my best friends from the past—carried into the present—have managed to do an excellent job of persuading a tedious, single-minded person such as myself.

It's a little frightening; this power that they have.

Even now, whilst viewing a catastrophe morph into another catastrophe, what stuns me the most is the idea that I agreed upon joining Bogum and Joohyun at the Karaoke House. It's an absolute mayhem in here! I come along, and for what—to simply douse myself in an overly congested environment whilst listening to lousy singers that'll only dwindle my hearing?

How do two people manage to shift my mindset so easily?

Making matters more of a shock to the core, it was another huge fear of mine; to ride in a bus that forever ruined my entire life. In the summer, while I was still in a state of sorrow and gravitated towards lonesomeness, I vowed that I wouldn't take another trip in one those things ever again. Could you blame me? It infinitely scarred me, both literally and figuratively speaking. Every time I heard or saw a bus, it triggers the trauma to return in mere flash-like episodes in my brain, replaying in a repetitive sequence. The tragedy is an unforgettable nightmare, and I couldn't help but believe that if I stepped foot inside another bus, the same result would undoubtably happen, again.

Then, it hits me.

Almost two hours ago, I faced that fear head-on with the help of Bogum, and most of all—Joohyun. It seemed to have happened so fast that I could hardly remember anything else other than Joohyun's words of solace. Due to these recent events, it may just be that this sudden change I've been so hopeful for may already be in the works. This calls for internal celebration!

I do have one teensy regret. Scratch that: it's much more than that. Preferably, it's the way I was acting on the ride over. Now, I said that I wasn't going to dive into this, and I'm not! I just have to say it—my words and my actions were unlike me, and it was rather abnormal behavior. It throws me in a spiral of disbelief. I'd love to believe that the pathetic events of the short fifteen-minute journey to the Karaoke House never happened. In fact, I'd like to get that memory erased from not only Joohyun's mind, but my own.

In my head, I can already see future-Joohyun endlessly teasing me about it. It's just a knack that I have for hypothesizing undoubtable fates. It's evident that I cringe at the thought of shakily gripping her hands like a two-year-old crybaby who had an encounter with the boogeyman mere moments prior. Don't get me started on how many times I jolted in my seat or how I would often compliment her for helping—

Let's stop right there. Oh, I might vomit just by bringing it to the surface, again. Have your laughs. Rub my wimpy behavior in my face. Done? Great. It must no longer be spoken about, got it?

Instead, let's talk about something that not only destroys dignity, but that's hilariously entertaining—something that has nothing to do with me!

So far, it's safe to say that none of Jimin's friends have an ounce of capable talent to sing decently, not even a smidge. I'd say that if it was up to me—Jimin, Seungwan, and Sooyoung are the only ones (so far) that hold the title of having significant vocal-tones that may have astounded me. Seriously, they could be famous.

Having the right idea, none of the others seem to be stepping up to the plate anytime soon. Protecting their pride is a priority, and like I said, I don't disagree with their motive.

Karaoke sing-alongs are strictly for sharing laughs, having a -ton of fun, and pointing out the horrible singers in the group for jokes, but I can't help but be critical and compromise my self-respect. It's just my nature.

There's no way in hell anyone will witness me—albeit, willingly—make a fool of myself by walking on that stage and hit unattainable notes to a random song that I barely know. The lyrics on those little screens won't help me, either.

One thing is mortifying your friends, but it's another thing to do it in front of miscellaneous groups of strangers that are seated peacefully nearby. Maybe, just maybe, I'd participate in one those closed-off private rooms, but in public? No way. These people may have signed themselves up to hear this crap, but I can't imagine how irritating it must be to listen to a bunch of teenagers scream and squeal out of tune. I'm doing everyone a favor by staying distant and taking large strides away from a single microphone.

So, that's what I'm currently doing: I'm lounging in a seat between Joohyun and Jimin. Sooyoung and Seungwan finished their sweet duet only ten minutes ago. A domino-effect of applauding, hoots, and congratulatory hurrahs followed, leaving everyone in the room in awe for a while. You should've seen Bogum and Hoseok's faces—if they weren't in love then, they are now. It was like listening to two angels.

However, a select few have other ideas—terrible ones, in fact.

To ruin everyone's astonishment, up next is a trio that I may need to pop on some earmuffs just to survive the next few minutes. To my dismay, all I have is that tangled mess of backup headphones that I brought—it wouldn't tune out.

The band of cousins; Bogum, Seojoon, and Wooshik have decided to sing as three to—wait for it—the beautiful instrumentals of a Celine Dion classic hit—My Heart Will Go On. Now, as you should know, that has a fair number of high notes during the entirety of the song. Maybe, a little too many.

One word: disaster.

It sounds like a bunch of cats are being stomped on continuously. Jesus, I would've hoped that they could hit a note or two—maybe, even a steady lyric or syllable—but it doesn't seem realistic at this point. It's atrocious, hopeless, and appalling. As this fiasco is going on, I drink in my surroundings and find that almost everyone in the vicinity is either laughing, crying, or simply covering their ears.

The group of us sit at a table towards the back-corner of the Karaoke House. Surprisingly enough, it wasn't too busy this evening, but it seems that even with the lack of customers, all of us did the deed of putting on a horrifying show for onlookers and passersby. I'm ninety-percent certain that Bogum, Seojoon, and Wooshik's combination of unimpressive vocals has the whole district locking their doors, shutting their windows, and scheduling an appointment for their loss of hearing.

Somehow, I manage to peel away from the dancing cousins on stage, thrashing their heads to the melodic beat as if it was a rave, and pumping their fists in the air like they really don't care. If I didn't know them, I would conclude that they're either far from being sober or high as hell. Perhaps two of them are, but Bogum was as sober as any teen should be, more so high on life than anything else.

Which, now that I absorb the scene—it's quite concerning.

As my mind resumes to throw various insults at the trio, I spare a glance over to my right in search for Joohyun. Replicating mine and everyone else's reactions, hers ranged from pure horror, shock, and disgust. The reactions would interchange as time passes. Nonetheless, the uncontrollable desire to smile grows, and eventually, I do, but I don't seem to look away from her just yet. As always, her presence was a magnet to the eyes.

Amid the overwhelming craziness, the shouting of the karaoke goers, and the vibrant, underlying thump of the percussions that causes the table to shake, I couldn't stop staring at my best friend.

The lighting in the house was purposely dim for a night club ambience, but the florescent, multi-colored beams that hung and looped around the high bordering of the walls was enough to take her in. The occurrences during the ride over comes to mind almost instantaneously.

I'm unsure if I'd call it bonding, but it was...different, I suppose. As if it's always been there, a familiar warmth flourishes in the palms of my hands, like it's tugging my mind to remember what she did for me. I try to rub it away, but it only worsens—friction, duh.

Red and blue lights fade in and out at a timely pace, framing the side of her face and illuminating her features. Soon, there was no more ongoing animalistic screeching that almost ruined Celine Dion's notorious classic, as it's apparent that the show has come to a graceful end.

Even in the final moments of fulfilling the crowd's wishes, Joohyun grimaces at the heinous train of events. My amused smile widens a fraction. If I was paying any attention to the show, I probably would've done the same as her.

It's become somewhat clear that I'm starting to see Joohyun in a new light, and I'm not referring to the blinding beams of decorum around the room. More so, it's a deeper level of appreciation towards Joohyun. Every time I look over at her, it's a reminder of how she helped me earlier. She has zero knowledge about why I was afraid of riding the bus, but she didn't ask questions, and stuck through it, making sure that I would be okay. It soothes my mind, and it tugs at a few of my heartstrings with positivity. It's a reminder that she does—in fact—care about me.

It's like what Bogum said a couple of weeks ago: "No matter what she knows, she's going to be there for you."

Something like that, at least.

Now, I feel like I owe her for my troubles.

It's the least I can do, right?

"Taehyung? Is that you?" No time for thinking about Joohyun anymore. Who's talking to me, now?

As that question presents itself amid my Joohyun-themed thought process, my head follows the gentle sound of a very familiar voice. My eyebrows collide with my hairline, as I'm stunned by the unexpected individual.

Standing at the end of the table is Roseanne, or...what was her nickname, again? Ah, Rose. The beautiful brunette from the beach clean-up that I almost inflicted minor brain damage to. The talented pianist. Hm, interesting seeing her here. Judging by her uniform-like attire and the basket of chicken tenders in her hands, it appears as though she works at this hell house.

Her eyes light up, "oh, my God, it is you. H-hey. It's nice to see you."

"Oh, hello, Rose," I greet kindly, mustering a restricted smile that shows decency and genuine respect. She lifts a hand up to fix her hair that didn't need fixing at all. Guess, it's some sort of self-conscious quirk of hers. That little stutter didn't go amiss, either.

Then, for whatever reason, Jimin nudges my side, giggling like a little girl to himself.

Weirdo.

Quickly, I snag a glimpse of Joohyun who's sending me a look that reads, 'you know her?'. Or, so that's what I predict.

Off towards the other far end of the table is Yeri, Jungkook, Sooyoung, Seungwan, and Seulgi. They're too busy involved in chatter to notice what's going on over here.

I clear my throat into a fist and meet Rose's soft gaze. "It's great to see you, too. You work here, I presume?"

"Obviously," I barely catch Joohyun mutter under her breath. It appears Jimin heard as I clue in on the addition of comedic giggles he's trying to shield behind the palm of his hand. I glare at my cousin and my best friend, then ignore the rest.

It's clear that I'm stating the obvious, but what the hell am I supposed to say?

Rose and I met once, so therefore, she's a mere acquaintance—at most. Joohyun and I have a great bond; a strong connection. That's something Rose and I don't have, so in that case, it needs to be built from scratch. To do so, it's all about making up as you go whilst learning from the other. If not, it'd be weird and awkward.

Isn't that how friendships go? It just happens, right?

In the end, we're all being led by the whims of fate.

"Yeah, part-timer on the weekdays, and full-timer on the weekends." Rose informs with the subtle quirk of her lips, not like I asked, but I smile, too, nevertheless. It's contagious, like Joohyun's. "How are you doing lately?"

"I'm doing very well," I bet she's referring to my distant behavior during our first meeting. It was the self-inflicted effect of initiating piano-playing as a main topic of conversation. Remind me never to do that, again. "Currently, I'm trying to regain my hearing, but I think I'll be fine. How's your head doing from that fall last weekend?"

Was that the wrong question to ask? I can already feel Jimin and Joohyun's intrusive gazes burning into the sides of my face, begging for an explanation.

"Oh, I'm doing just fine, really. Thanks for asking." the pianist giggled, then asked, "Um, I have an order of chicken tenders. Is this anyone's?"

"Right here." With a smug grin, Jimin raises his hand. I was a beat away from incredulously scoffing. This guy and his chicken tenders.

Rose nods whilst muttering something incoherent—something none of us caught—and sets the basket in front of my irritable cousin whose elbow won't stop poking my ribcage. He must be teasing, right? His behavior reminds me of the day that Joohyun was texting me and he asked if I had a—I internally gasp.

Could it be that he thinks I like Rose?

"Thank you, Rosé."

"Rosé?" I ask Jimin, confused.

How many nicknames does his girl have?

"We know each other," he side-noted, winking. How convenient.

"Will that be all for you guys?" Rose; also known as Rosé; also known as Roseanne had asked me, Jimin, and an awfully quiet Joohyun who may or may not be listening.

"Yup." Never mind, Joohyun is listening. Damn, I should've answered quicker. I wanted to order a root beer.

"Again, it was nice seeing you, Taehyung," Ignoring everyone else, Rose bids a small goodbye, and I reply with the same, adding a wave of my hand. For a short glimpse of a moment, I check her out as she spins around and heads to another occupied table. It wasn't out of admiration of her physicality, but in speculation, more so.

That is, until I hear Jimin's usual sly chuckles.

"So, what was that whole, 'is your head okay?' business?" My cousin purposely imitates me, and it urges my aggravation meter to spike. "Where'd you meet her?"

Disinterested, I mumble, "at the clean-up last weekend. We bumped into each other rather harshly. That's why I asked about her head."

After an understanding hum from my cousin, I thought this interrogation was over. Hell, I was wrong. I rest my chin in my hand as the conversation ramps up minutes later:

"With that aside, dude, she was totally hitting on you," Jimin's hand smacks my shoulder with a loud clap, and I glare at the gesture. I roll my shoulder until his obnoxious hand falls off. He, then, leans over to talk to Joohyun, and I grit my teeth at his successful efforts of bursting my goddamn bubble. "Don't you agree, Joohyun?"

"She does that with everyone," my grouchy best friend shrugs matter-of-factly, slouches in her seat, and crosses her arms.

"You're not wrong," Jimin commended, then turned to me with complacency. "In that case, you should ask her out."

"Why would he do that? Didn't you hear what I just said?" Joohyun sounded bitter. "You're setting him up for a combination of disaster and heartbreak, Jimin."

"Roseanne isn't the playgirl you think she is, Joohyun." If she is one, then I gotta' owe it to her: she does a great job at playing the innocent, shy girl act. It had me fooled.

Despite that, I snort, staying entertained by Joohyun's input. I agree with her, but for different reasons.

It's the idle fact that Jimin's switched onto this Rose agenda. Now he thinks I should ask her out. That might as well be more absurd than assuming I have a crush on Joohyun. This conversation only proves that anything rolling off Jimin's tongue—remotely relating to me and my girl-friends/acquaintances—is ridiculous.

Plain and simple.

"Playgirl or not, what makes you think I'd ask Rose out?" I shift in my seat, side-eyeing my cousin.

"The reason is obvious. You find her attractive." Horrible reason. I'll tell you why.

"And?" I blink, gesturing towards my quiet best friend. "I find Joohyun attractive, but you don't see me asking her out."

"You find me attractive?" Is it that shocking to hear?

News flash, Joohyun, almost every guy wants you.

Emphasis on almost.

"Who doesn't?" I blink.

"True."

"Are you two flirting?" Oh, for a second there, I almost forgot Jimin was here. Ha, joking. How could I with that agitating accusatory finger that keeps shifting between me and Joohyun? It seems he was baffled by the exchange of words, but I don't understand why. "Right in front of me?"

My cousin can be so ignorant, sometimes.

Just what's the IQ on this guy? I'd like to know.

"That's your idea of flirting? Really?" Jimin parts his lips to say something, but I beat him to it. "There's a fine line between acknowledging someone's attractiveness and actually flirting."

"I couldn't have said that better myself," said Joohyun, agreeing.

I nod, "though, that's besides the matter. In reference to Rose, I hardly know her to make such a foolish decision of asking her out."

"Well—I—" Silence from Jimin—a wish that I've always asked for. I must've spoken too much. I think, he's feeling a little attacked. "You sound like an old person, Taehyung; why are you acting so serious? I'm just saying that...Well, it's obvious that she's interested in you, that's why!"

I'll pretend like I'm not offended by being called 'old', but then again, thinking halfway maturely isn't such a bad thing either.

So, thanks, Jimin.

"Worry about your own lover," I murmur a little too loudly.

Damnit, too much, don't you think, Taehyung?

"Lover?" Joohyun questions curiously. Like clockwork, I suppose--especially with her inquisitiveness that tends to show whenever she catches onto something juicy. "You have a lover, Jimin?"

"Taehyung," Jimin lets out a frustrated grunt. "You little..."

"Just eat your chicken tenders, will you?" Are my eyes deceiving me, or is my other dear best friend saving me from an enraged Jimin and a questioning Joohyun? Oh, its destiny. "Bogum!"

Bogum nods my way as a greeting. Vigorously ignoring the two next to me, I perk up in my seat and fold my arms over the table.

"What's up?" I said. "Where's Wooshik?"

"He crossed back over to his pub." With a tiresome sigh, Bogum pulls out a chair and sits down across from Joohyun. He tugs at his collar and starts fanning a menu in front of his face. "Damn, I feel like I burned off every bit of energy that I had."

"You did," Joohyun responded. Ah, the Bogum diversion was perfect, after all. "Great performance, by the way. I give it a nine-out-of-ten this time."

"What? Why not a ten? Because of Wooshik and Seojoon?"

"That, and you were a little pitchy." Bogum and Joohyun laugh it off, and I smile fondly at the interaction. "By the way, where's your other cousin?"

"Seojoon?" Bogum lifts a brow at the nodding girl, "And, you care...why, exactly?"

I can ask the same question.

"So, I can plan my escape while I still have time." That's something Joohyun would say.

"Well, in that case—"

"Bae Joohyun."

Speaking of Park Seojoon. Here he is, entering at the perfect time, as if he was cued into the scene.

Now, if I can describe this guy's physical appearance in one word, it would be—sophisticated. The notion derived from his professional suit-and-tie attire and his thin-rimmed glasses that he wore. It appears as if he works in a noisy office all day, files papers, and has a hot secretary. For being only eighteen, this approach makes him look way older than he is.

Now that he's standing here, and I can conduct a mental overview of him, I recall Seungwan's words of him being a model. That explains a lot. I mean, with his looks and all, I'm not surprised. It seems that Joohyun attracts the type of guys that carry some extreme, god-sent features. Another great example of that would be Kim Suho—the dude that Joohyun rejected yesterday.

"Hi, Seojoon," Joohyun says, barely audible, and very unimpressed.

"Hm. It's lovely to see you here this evening. Even in the faintest lighting, you look as beautiful as ever."

Oh, gag me with a spoon, why don't you?

I feel like I heard that in an old Shakespearean play. It makes me wonder how many websites he scrolled through just to find that one.

What a horrible conversation-starter, am I right? The girl's already uncomfortable to begin with. Throwing her a cringy compliment would only make things worse.

Despite that, the occurrence was indeed comedic, so I sink my teeth into my bottom lip. The urgency to unleash some much-needed, pitiful laughter was becoming more difficult to hold back. It's not much of a wonder why Joohyun thinks this guy is irritating. He uttered one sentence, and I got the gist.

At Joohyun's cringing silence, Seojoon coughs into a tight fist to fill the awkward air with sound. He's got to come up with something else to say before it becomes gravely uncomfortable.

"Would you like to walk with me outside?" It's worth the effort, but I have a feeling that he's going to be rejected.

"Well, see, I'm feeling a little under the weather lately," Joohyun casually forces a fake smile, and with tentativeness, she nibbles at her bottom lip.

The judgmental looks that me and Bogum are sharing were mirror-like. This is some quality content right here. What's even funnier is that Bogum doesn't step into this to offer his cousin some aid. If only the others would stop socializing, they'd get a glimpse of this weird- interaction between Joohyun and Seojoon.

Where's Seungwan and her fangirl tendencies when you need her? She could've saved Joohyun by pulling Seojoon away by now.

"Oh, I see," Seojoon looks down towards his shoes, his dejectedness radiating a little too harshly. It almost made me feel bad. He shoved his hands in his pockets and nodded his head in that slow, yet pensive momentum of understanding.

"Maybe, next time?" Joohyun should sign with an acting agency. She should've also left it at that, but it seems she's too nice. It's bad enough that she's giving the guy some sense of hope with the way her eyes peer into his, twinkling with enchantment and false kindness—the kind of look that can make someone's heart melt.

"Of course, Joohyun. I'd like that." Yeah, and just like that, Seojoon grins widely, falling for her bewitchment faster than he could blink. These guys are hopeless. "I hope you feel better soon."

"Thank you."

The three of us eye Seojoon leave in an evident yet subtle mope. It's gradual, but he gains a pep in his step soon enough. It must've been the reminder that Joohyun said, 'maybe next time', like it was a promise, but unbeknownst to him, it would undoubtably be broken.

Now that he was out of sight and almost out of mind, I couldn't hold it in anymore. It began as a stifling snort, but once Bogum's laughter swarmed the air, too, it was all a domino-effect from there. Joohyun wasn't too fond of the amusement that me and Bogum received from the scene that recently played out. I mean, who couldn't find enjoyment in it? It's even better when Joohyun wouldn't stop shifting in her seat, running her hands through her hair, and avoiding Seojoon's gaze.

"I hope you two know that I can't stand either of you," Joohyun smacks my forearm and leans over the table to flick Bogum on the forehead.

Geez, feisty, much? Have a laugh with us!

"Even in the faintest lighting..." Bogum mocks his cousin's flirtatious tone, but with more pizazz and flair.

"You look as beautiful as ever..." I finish his sentence as if we were partaking in a drama, and barely got through it without joining Bogum for another round of laughter. The longevity of our enjoyment reached the point that we were holding our stomachs.

Joohyun stays as straight-faced as ever, ogling downwardly towards her lap. More so, at her nails. She waits for our chuckles to subside, and as I wipe a stray tear from my cheek, she says:

"Are you guys done?"

"Probably not," Bogum smirks.

"I'd like it if you two were."

"Why so serious?" Thanks for the phrase, Joker.

"You know what? I have a good idea," Joohyun huffed, "why don't you both sing a song with me onstage?"

Quite random.

Why would any of us agree to that?

Might as well worsen her frustrations since it's funnier to witness.

"I thought you were feeling 'under the weather', Joohyun?" I joke, lifting my fingers to gesture a good-ole pair of air-quotes, and Bogum starts cackling even louder.

"Ha-Ha," she lets out a disingenuous laugh, so I blink at her, unamused by her unwillingness to join Bogum and I. "Anyways, now that you guys had several laughs, let's go up there and sing together like pals, hm? What do you think?"

Obviously, she's not serious.

"Joohyun," Bogum whines, like she was being serious. "My throat still hurts from screaming earlier with Wooshik and Seojoon."

"I don't care." Oh, my God, she's ing serious? "If you two want to be forgiven, then you will do me this simple favor, right?"

It's far from simple!

"Fine." Bogum, what the hell? You just accept right away? Why would you give into Joohyun's plea like that?

"And, if I don't?" I ask.

"Well, I think I'm just going to sit with Seungwan on the ride back home tonight." Oh, she did not just say that. Forget everything I once said about Joohyun being borderline kind. She's using my fear to get what she wants. Evil, conniving... "Is that okay, Tae?"

"Manipulative witch." I murmur, hoping my death glare sends the right message.

With a victorious smirk, Joohyun's chin falls into the palm of her hand. Her eyelashes batted at me like she's got me wrapped around her finger, and perhaps she does! I can't ride alone on the bus-ride home. In the past month or so, I've never seen this girl so heartless, but I gotta' owe it to her, it was a great ploy; a smart move.

As Bogum suppresses a chuckle, he says, "It's not that scary to be up there, Taehyung. It's pretty fun, actually."

"I'm not worried about stage-fright!" I exasperated, "I'm worried about my dignity shattering into a billion pieces!"

Bogum and Joohyun laugh as one. It's not funny. "Joohyun will hypnotize everyone with her vocals. It'll overshadow us a bit. So, how about it?"

As I shove my face into my hands to hide away in darkness, I prayed that I would just disappear, instead. I mentally prepare myself for the embarrassment that is soon to become of us, but no matter how much I gather my will to ing agree to this, it was brutal to think about.

I was cringing at the thought, absolutely shriveling up inside, even when an excited, pleading Joohyun started to shake one of my arms back-and-forth. I presume it was to wake me out of this state of contemplation, uneasiness, and inward sobbing. This was a harsh predicament. In anticipation, she proceeded to tug at my sleeve, begging for an answer to come out of my mouth.

I can't believe this.

"You better sing well," is all I mutter to Joohyun.

It's insane to think that after I uttered those horrifying words, and sluggishly joined my best friends on stage, Joohyun managed to surpass all my expectations. It was a couple of verses into this song that the three of us sang, chosen by Joohyun herself. It was supposedly a song that she often sings in the Karaoke House, as mentioned by Seulgi and Sooyoung afterwards.

Anyways, it was called, The Only. At first, it was difficult to focus on the beautiful melody, Bogum's pitchy first verse, Joohyun's amused smile, or the crowd of people. I was too busy feeling like my feet were grounded to the platform, and that I wished time would rewind so I could reject Joohyun's proposition. There was no turning back at that point. For those twenty seconds, I was lamenting my decision of not speaking up and refusing because I didn't need Joohyun by my side during the ride back, anyways.

Well, maybe, I was just kidding myself, but there was no use in fretting about the past any longer. It was inevitable that I was going to hop off this stage, looking like a clown. That, I knew. All I could do was stare at those blinding light-beams that hung on the ceiling, praying that my turn would never come. I'm surprised my harsh grip on the microphone didn't break the damn thing in the process.

Though, even as my turn unceremoniously came, and I sung words, reading those stupid bolded letters on a tiny television screen, I felt an encouraging pat on my shoulder and a comforting squeeze around my arm. It was Bogum and Joohyun standing by my side. They sent me a couple of thumbs-up and enthralled nods, like I was singing well or something. Pfft, as if. Now that I noticed my surroundings, the crowd seemed to have been paying attention, too.

It was only after the show that I was being complimented for having a supposed 'nice voice'. Like, I believed them. It all seemed sarcastic, until Joohyun and Bogum said the same. I'd shake my head and say otherwise, or protest that they're great liars, but they kept trying to convince me that they weren't.

I'd scoff, and think to myself,

How am I the one being praised for vocals I never knew I had?

Especially when Joohyun was singing, too?

This is the part where I tell you how beautiful her voice is. I guess, with every day that passes, I learn new things, and it's always a surprise with Bae Joohyun. Her soft, soothing voice is something special, and sometimes, throughout the addictive beat of the song, I'd stare at her in awe as she sings the wholesome lyrics. Her eyes never peel away from the crowd because she knows every word. For a tiny second, it looks like she's born to be a performer or something. I may be saying that because she has so much charisma onstage, and it envelops you in to watch her. It's like I became apart of the crowd for that sliver of a moment.

I think, things are better when it's unexpected. That's a common phrase, but it holds truth. I didn't expect to come to the Karaoke House today, but I did, and like I said, I learned a few things by doing so. Firstly, ever since I've been walking away from my hermit lifestyle and participating in social gatherings, I realized that it offers little details about the people around me that I'd never know until I urged myself to do it (not without the help of my best friends).

An experience is what it all was.

Secondly, I faced a fear of mine, and although it isn't fully gone, I have someone by my side that I can—now—always count on. I've been able to push my boundaries of comfort with Bogum and Joohyun at my side.

The Karaoke experience: it was fun, like Bogum said. It was made possible by spending it with him and Joohyun. It's clear that even amid Bogum's horrid singing, prancing, and skipping around me and Joohyun, it wasn't a matter of dignity being tainted. It all just seems to feel so...worth it in the end. Like, I was glad that Joohyun tugged me along, using the excuse of breaking up with me as my bus-ride comfort buddy.

I left with understanding and with purpose.

It's true: friends can make anything worthwhile.

Every day that seems to pass, the more I believe that it can only go uphill from here.

Hours later, Joohyun's singing still echoes in my brain.

It's a rather calming source. I'm using it as a comforting distraction while I begin to step into this goddamn bus that has the most obnoxious engine. It's burrowing into my ears like a drill, creating that reminder to flit back to me. It fills me with slight anxiety as my once-steady heartbeat speeds up, like it did earlier, but then, I train my thoughts towards the events at the Karaoke House.

More so, her voice.

"You okay?" And, that's her talking voice—just as soothing. She's trailing behind me, just in case I'm not okay.

After a couple of more steps taken, her fingers graze my sleeve, lightly pulling on it for an answer.

"Hm," I hum in return, unsure what answer that insinuates, but that's because my mind isn't necessarily working anymore.

So, I take a quick seat at the first empty row that I laid my eyes on. Jimin, Seulgi, Seungwan, Hoseok, Jungkook, and Yeri stroll towards the backend of the bus. Bogum is expecting Sooyoung, but she's too busy speaking to Joohyun who hasn't sat down yet. It makes me nervous.

As it's none of my concern, I don't listen to the conversation, and look out the window. Without the placement of vibrant streetlights and traffic lights, it's just a sea of darkness outside.

Then, I ponder: so, this is what the world looks like after dark, huh? It may sound a little dramatic, but ever since I moved here, I can't say that there's been an instance that I've gotten to venture and admire the city after night has fallen. Now that I have, it's quite beautiful.

The pleasant scenery settled me a little.

"Do you want me to hold your hand?" Joohyun finally sat down, sounding like a mother worrying about her dependent child.

"Well, I don't want you to," As blunt as I could muster those words, that's not the way I feel internally. If I were able to speak my mind, I would tell her that I'd like that very much so.

"You know what I mean, Taehyung." Yes, I do. Please, do it yourself, so I don't have to ask. It's humiliating to hear the words, 'please, hold my hand', come out of my mouth.

My inner wishes do come true. A fed-up, exhausted sigh escaped Joohyun's lips, and her fingers curled around mine without a second's hesitation. I swallow thickly at the sight of our hands interwoven between us. The gesture was almost fluid. I'd be lying if it didn't catch me by surprise a little. Don't get the wrong idea, but it made me smile. Again, not the way you think. It was just the idea that she didn't need to ask for permission for the second time. It must've been the notion that she received from my constant fidgeting, and all the nervous tics that insinuated I was panicking in the inside.

I was almost relaxed since her hand against mine reassured me that I'm not alone. That little percentage of me that wasn't okay only worsened as the bus started moving, again.

"You sing very well, you know," she said, amid the rumbling engine and the screeching halt that it made when we reached a red light. These sound effects seemed to be much louder in my ears than it should normally be. It's like I'm hypersensitive to it. The way I jump in my seat during any instance that I hear a sudden sound is quite telling.

That's when her unexpected compliment renders into my thought process.

Caught off guard, I arched a brow and looked over at her. Her smile was small, and my self consciousness was wavering at the way she was looking at me. If it wasn't for the dim light above us, I wouldn't be able to see more than half of her face.

It's—now—that I notice her body is already positioned towards me. Her legs were curled into the seat for a more comfortable fit, like she was going to either head off to sleep or give me every bit of her attention. It seemed both assumptions were possible, as her eyelids looked heavy, yet her focus was solely on me and my eventual response. I wanted to laugh at the way her cheek pressed against the cushion. It was cute. She looked like a bunny.

"I still can't tell if you or the others are being sarcastic about that." I'm just being sheepish, dodging every subtle compliment thrown at me.

"How many times do I have to tell you? Bogum and the others were genuinely amazed. So, was I. Besides, I'm complimenting you for the third time tonight. Reminding you so often should shake away your doubts, don't you think?"

I can't say she's wrong. I received many compliments earlier, especially from Jimin. Crazy, right? He's the idol around here. In that case, I must have some talent, as unlikely as that seems.

"If you say so, I suppose. Guess, it runs in the family or something," I replied, referring to my cousin's incredible ability to belt out a perfect high note or hypnotize the crowd all the while.

"Maybe, it does," she shrugged one shoulder.

"I guess, um—" I hate giving compliments, sometimes. With a free hand, I rubbed at the back of my neck. "—You do, too."

"Hm? What about me?" Is she really going to make me say it?

"You have a very nice voice, too," I stammered, so I wince in disgust. "When you sing, I mean."

"Oh." She said it like it was unexpected to hear such a thing come from me. "Thanks."

In response, I hummed with a nod.

At the silence that often drew in, my heart thumped louder in my chest. It was unavoidable at times, especially when no words spoken would remind me that I'm on the brink of going insane. I rubbed at the spot over my heart uncomfortably, unknowing if the reason was my embarrassing stutter earlier or this ing bus-ride experience.

"You do know I was kidding, right?"

"Kidding about, what? My singing?" My voice managed to crack.

"No, you dolt." Cue Joohyun's subtle giggles that are quite heavenly to listen to. Now, her witch-like, evil cackles? That's a different story. "I was kidding about abandoning you on the ride home if you didn't sing with me and Bogum."

"You put me through all that stress and frustration for nothing?" As she laughs at my reaction, I was a millisecond away from sighing and glaring, but then again, I don't regret the experience of singing with my friends. Nonetheless, I scoffed as if I was bothered. "You really fooled me. Just so you know, revealing that bit of information doesn't make me take back anything I said. You're still evil and manipulative."

"I know," Her thumb dragged along my knuckles from time-to-time, and with every single occurrence, I tended to notice it. For some reason, I liked it (shut up). It made me feel better, is all. It was like a shield of warmth would wrap around my heart just at the mere touch. "You had fun, though. You don't regret it, do you?"

"No," I said. "I guess, I don't."

"Good." She yawns, and it causes me to look over and smile. The simple action was adorable.

I turn away, stared at the seat in front of me, and asked, "Are you tired?"

"Kind of," she said, but it was very unconvincing. "But now that I think about it, I have things to do when I get home. There's no time for sleep."

"It's that urgent?" I arch an eyebrow at her. The only thought that passed through my mind was how absurd she sounds. "Need I remind you that it's nine o'clock on a Friday night. You have time to get stuff done over the weekend."

"You don't understand." Enlighten me. "With all the things I need to prep for Monday, I shouldn't have came tonight." Wasn't she exhausted before she left?

I wanted to ask, "Why did you come, then?" For whatever reason, I decided against it.

"Understandable," I murmur. "But you're going to end up falling asleep over your work. I recommend that you hold off studying until tomorrow. Just rest."

"Hm, coffee's a thing."

I blink. "Do you ever listen to anything I say?"

"I do. It's just not the way my mind works, especially when I have deadlines to worry about." She heaved another sigh, and amid listening to every word she uttered, I noticed how exhausted she sounds. Like, she's repeated this countless times before. "It's simple to recommend what you think I should do. I'm not laid-back, like Sooyoung or Seungwan. I follow the rules, I achieve the things that I need to do, I don't let anything distract me, and I don't let anyone change my mindset. After all, this effort is going to lead me somewhere—somewhere near my end goal."

"What's your end goal?" Joohyun never talked about her ambitions or any other interests. Last time I brought that up, she said that she was still trying to figure that part out.

"I don't know, but I figure it's whatever I'm meant to end up doing."

"No , but you don't have a single clue of what it is?"

"No."

"Nonsense."

"What's nonsense?"

"Everyone's thought about their hopeful aspirations in life—what they like to do or what they want to do, even if it's small or too out of reach," I lean against the headrest and look at Joohyun. The bus stopped at another red light. "You have to have some sort of idea of what you want to be, right?"

"I guess," she said. "I think about it a lot, but I never get an answer. I tend to push it off to the side and do the best that I can in the meantime. Eventually, I'll figure it out. We all do."

"That makes sense."

"Do you think it's weird that a class president doesn't know what to do in life? Much less, have a goal?"

I shake my head. "No, because you do have a goal. You just said it: you're going to do the best you can in the meantime. No matter if it's temporary, it's still something that you're striving for, and in the end, you'll figure things out. You're not wrong by saying that it's leading you somewhere. We're also young, and calculating the structure of our lives isn't going to come to us with the snap of our fingers. Believe me, it's not weird at all."

She hums behind a tight-lipped smile, and asks, "What's your end goal?"

"I'd like to be a writer or an artist."

"Being a pianist is completely out of the question, then?" Something's just don't seem realistic enough to come true. Besides, with the way that I feel about touching a piano again, it's not going to happen. That is, unless something changes my mind.

So, for right now, I said, "Yes," and without a hitch.

"I see." Another tiresome yawn left her lips.

"You should take a short nap," I clear my throat, steering the subject into another direction; a direction in which this conversation may come to a dead-end. "The ride is only for another ten minutes, so you might as well."

"Don't you need me?" Why does that simple sentence affect me?

You know me; I'd explain the feeling, but I'm unable to find the right words.

"No, I'll be okay," I said, directing my attention to peer outside the window. Acres of greenery swept by in a blink of an eye, but it's too dark to see anything else other than the moonlight overhead. As I observe the only source of natural illumination in the sky, I mutter the last few words that I had in mind: "Close your eyes."

"I don't need to listen to you." She pouted her bottom lip, and even when I turned to look at her, she was already doing as I said. Exhaustion is something that you can't control. Even if you try to avoid it, it's going to take over eventually.

I wish I had said it earlier—when she was awake—but I'd only hope that she wouldn't brainwash herself into thinking that overworking is the norm. That even if she was the class president or had a -ton of things to do at the end of each day, she would push all that aside, and take her wellbeing into consideration, too. She has a life besides school, but I don't think she knows that. With her collegiate mentality, she's the type to be constantly on top of her education—having to jot down some notes near a damn laptop or always prepping for her next move as class president.

When it comes to my education, I'm like Joohyun, but the difference is, my mind isn't focused on whether I studied for ten hours a week instead of sixteen or didn't do an assignment that was due in three days. That's how she is, and it's rather concerning. Don't get me wrong: I admire her for it—her efforts, her determination, and her ability to work harder and more efficient than anyone I've ever met. Though, sometimes, it's exhausting for me to even witness. I know Bogum thinks the same.

Back in reality, my neck slightly twitched to inspect the sudden, unfamiliar weight that dropped onto my shoulder. I came to find out that it wasn't unfamiliar at all—It was just Joohyun's sleeping head leaning on me, using my shoulder as a pillow. The jostling bus must've caused her head to move. If I was the person that I was two months ago, my first instinct would be to shake her awake or shrug her off since this was an invasion of my space-bubble. Though, right now, I didn't mind it at all. The last thing that I want to do is wake her up from a blissful sleep, no matter how short it is. I know that she'll need it.

I directed my attention to our hands that are still intertwined. Even during a sweet slumber, she squeezed my hand just the same as if she were awake. Nonetheless, I smiled, and took one last glimpse at her sleeping face. Or, at least, what I could see from this angle without moving a muscle.

Presumably from the vehicle's sudden movements and sharp turns, some locks of her hair had fallen over her face, just barely hovering over her parted mouth. Let's hope she doesn't start drooling over my shirt, or even worse—starts snoring. I quietly chuckled to myself at the thought, and noticed how her steady breathing would cause the few strands above her lips to flit upwardly, then descend back down. Her long eyelashes would flutter to the tune of the dream that was playing in her mind. She'd stir occasionally, but only a smidge, and her hold on my hand would tighten. I stared for so long that I noticed many things about her, and it was difficult to not admit a particularly glistening thought. It was a cute sight—seeing her so peaceful, and not hearing any words come out of , but that's just me teasing.

Another turn of the bus causes my attention to snag onto some more locks of her hair that had swished to the side and ended up obscuring half of her features. My free hand twitches to brush it out of her face and over her shoulder, but as soon as I was inches away from doing so, I withdrew from the idea. I had to remind myself that I didn't want to wake her up until we arrived home. I'd rather not risk it.

So, for time to speed up, I distract myself by doing what I usually do: I start thinking. It was all a compilation of the events today—it went from wondering why Chaeyoung didn't come, to my surprise interaction with Rose. I'd inwardly laugh at Bogum's ty vocals, and Joohyun's awkward conversation with Seojoon.

In correlation to Joohyun, I can't help but continue to ponder why she came to the Karaoke House this evening. Knowing the way that she thinks, how exhausted she is, and all the things she needs to do, why would she come along, right? I mean, it's a simple evaluation, is all. I'm glad she took a step back and had fun with us. And, if I recall correctly, before she fell asleep, didn't she explicitly say that she doesn't let anyone distract her from her work?

Perhaps, me, Bogum and the others distracted her today.

If so, I don't mind doing it more often.

"You two looked so cute together, you know that?"

It's the fortieth time I've sighed at my irritable cousin. We just stepped off the bus not even two minutes ago, and he's rambling at the scene of Joohyun and I 'cuddling' together. To hell with whatever he thinks. I may have dozed off for three minutes or so before we reached our destination, but it's not like I meant for any of that to happen. Like I said, exhaustion catches up to you!

With the crew straggling behind, Jimin and Bogum were the pair that woke us up. I was in temporary disarray, and so was Joohyun, but at the sight of nearly half of the blushing passengers eyeing us like the couple of the year, her and I withdrew from each other as quick as possible. If any of our friends were to think that I'd have the least bit of interest in one of my best friends, then they're insane, especially Jimin. Imagine being that delusional. Ah, but I can tell that teasing and throwing jokes around is Jimin's way of bonding with me, so I learned to almost deal with it.

Almost.

Now that everyone's gone home, and I'm left with a yapper who won't leave the situation alone, it's starting to invigorate me. It's just like all the other times that he's suspected something unearthly. This guy doesn't know when to cease his mouth shut and lay a joke to rest.

"You know, if I had a wish right now," I grumbled to my cousin, reaching our house's front door and prying the er open. "I'd wish for you to shut up."

"Well, that ain't happening. Seriously, what kind of meaningless wish is that?" Jimin playfully punches my shoulder with his fists. He thinks its funny, but I just want to wipe the sly grin off his face. So, to dwindle the urge, I plunge my own balled fists into the depths of my pockets. That way, I won't have to tussle with this guy in front of his own mother...who's miraculously home tonight. "Oh, hey, mom. I thought you were coming home late tonight, again."

Upon entering the kitchen, Aunt Kim was working on washing a sink full of dishes. She sent us a heartwarming smile that only managed to grow.

"I thought so, too, but I guess, I was given a break today," she shrugged, tending to a few pots that needed a good scrub or two. "What have you two been up to lately? You told me that you had gone to Central Street to hang out at that Karaoke place, correct? What's it called, again?"

"The Karaoke House," I answered, as generic as that name is.

"You went, too, Taehyung?" I nodded, only hoping that would relieve her of any prior doubts that she had about my likelihood to stay away from social events. "Did you have fun?"

I opened my mouth to respond to a question that was directed towards me, but someone else had the audacity to do so instead:

"He sure did! He even sang with Bogum and Joohyun onstage," Aunt Kim's hands stopped scrubbing, and looked over at me and Jimin with risen eyebrows. Interesting; the given information must've shocked her. Ha, it surprises me a little, too. "He's a pretty good singer."

"Oh, really? That's amazing." My aunt giggled. "You two should start a two-man band."

At the mere mention, Jimin and I looked at each other—my reaction was pure disgust whilst his told the opposite. To hell with that idea! I'd never agree to such a thing. Even then, that smirk on Jimin's face is just a way to get on my nerves.

Jimin replied: "I think, we should—"

"—Not." I finished, elbowing Jimin in the arm. Yup, plain and simple.

Out of contentment, Aunt Kim laughed at our interaction, threw off her apron, and rounded the corner to approach us. With clasped hands propped underneath her chin, she pleaded:

"Would you two do me a favor and clean up the rest of those dishes, please?"

As expected, like an ungrateful son would, Jimin groaned aloud and slouched his shoulders at the idea of doing any chores. "Come on, really? Do we have to do this now? I'm tired."

"Don't talk back, just do it," I said to Jimin, elbowing his arm once more. He needs to cut that out. It's only right to listen to his mother that works two jobs and manages to keep a roof over his head, as well as my own. Without Aunt Kim, I'd be living in an orphanage.

"Thank you, Taehyung," she smiled, ruffling and messing up our hair as another way of annoyingly saying, 'thank you'. With that, she bid us a farewell, a good luck, and disappeared around the corner.

As Jimin and I dove into the kitchen to clean the dishes, his frown deepened. "I hate doing the dishes, you know."

"And, what about it?" I blinked. "Your opinion doesn't matter. Just do it. Before you know it, we'll be done."

My cousin sighed and started watering down a glass. Scrubbing away, he spoke, "don't think I forgot about you almost revealing the fact that I liked Chaeyoung around Joohyun earlier."

Now, what was the reason for bringing that up?

"First of all," I scoffed. "I didn't reveal . It slipped out of my mouth, but I didn't specifically say her name. Hell, your 'lover' could've been anyone."

"True, but I can't have anyone suspecting, especially when Chaeyoung's still afraid about jumping into a relationship with me." Oh, yeah, about that. The night after the clean-up, Jimin informed me that he did, in fact, confess his feelings to Chaeyoung, but it didn't end so grand as he expected it to. To be fair, her response wasn't too bad either, I suppose. The excuse she used in her half-rejection was, 'Jimin, you're special to me, but I'm scared that getting together would only mess us up in the end'.

Whatever the that means.

It just sounded like she was spewing something out so he would show her some understanding and leave the conversation as it is.

There's something that I'm uncertain about: "Why are you so hush-hush about the subject, anyways? If you and Chaeyoung end up together, are you still going to hide your relationship from your pals?"

"Of course not, but I just—I'd like them to find out once things are settled between us. It'll be like a surprise...or something."

"Do you actually believe that no one suspects a damn thing?"

"No," he said. "Bogum, Hoseok, and Jin always joke about the possibility of Chaeyoung and I dating."

I hum and nod in response, toweling down the last few pans that Jimin washed and placing them in the cabinet below. "What Chaeyoung responded with at the clean-up—It was weird. I mean, why would she be afraid of getting into a relationship with you, anyways?"

"Ah, I understand all of that. I think the same, sometimes," he uttered upon finishing up and wiping his hands off. "She's just insinuating that if we got together, she doesn't want a stupid break up to ruin our close friendship."

"Well, no , but isn't that what everyone fears?" Jimin curved an eyebrow at me, so I specified. "That's just a total bull excuse that she's using. I mean, look at your perspective of it. You've taken that into consideration already, but don't you still want to date her?"

"W-well." I knew mentioning that would have him thinking deeply about it. Truth is, I'm not wrong. That's all the dude wants. "Yeah, I want to be with her with all my heart."

See? I can calculate this perfectly. "Exactly, so instead of letting her own feelings do the talking, why is she busy worrying about all the negatives that could derive from a relationship that hasn't had the chance to begin yet?"

"Because..." Jimin scratched his head in thought. "Oh, ."

He started to frown, again. It makes my heart sink a little, yet I continued to stay silent.

"Could it really be an excuse, Taehyung? What you're saying makes sense. If she liked me, too, then what's the point of thinking to that extent?" Jimin sighed sorrowfully. "I thought it was normal, but now that you mention it, I'm starting to believe the opposite."

"Nothing I say is for sure, Jimin," I placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. He comes to conclusions way too quickly. "I'm just saying that you shouldn't think so loosely about things. I'm also your supposed wingman, so I'm giving my own insight on the subject. I think it's weird, but I want you to grasp onto all these signs and make sure that she's not...just saying stuff to stall the conversation about your guys' feelings."

"Yeah, I understand," Jimin nodded, smirking. At least the frown is gone. "Thanks, Taehyung, I'll keep that in mind."

"Just give her time and continue what you always do, as if that conversation never happened. Soon enough, everything will come full-circle."

"Ah, you're always right, so I'll do just that."

I clap his shoulder and chuckle a little, because it's true. "I'm just looking after you, dude."

"Aw, you care about me after all, don't you?" At the top of the staircase, Jimin wrapped an arm around my shoulder to pull me in for an annoying side-hug. Now, that was crossing the line. I shove him away, and he continues to cackle down the hallway to our rooms.

I mutter a, " off," and shut the door behind me.