June 3, 2016

“This year has been pretty crazy, this month is my favorite, because it’s the day you were born. Can you believe it’s been almost two years since we met? We’ve done so much, seen so much—you, Angkko, and I. You’ve survived cancer, and you’ve done great, I hope you know I’m still proud of you, and I always will be. I almost had no faith in the world, but meeting you was a blessing. It showed me how much this world has to offer. You are incredible, and I know I’m not the only one who sees that. You deserve the world. I know you’re struggling, but I hope you see the good in the world too, because you’re amazing. The world is amazing, and I am always with you, even when I’m not.”

Reading the note that I was left was painful; a lot had happened those two years. Those two amazing and devastating years. Those two years that successfully gave my life meaning and tore it apart once more. She was right; I grew a lot since then. Just like she regained faith in the world, so did I. Dancing no longer was the only thing I thought about, working myself hard, but not to the bone. I had friends, and we looked out for each other. I had Angkko, and she was a beautiful handful—I have a home full of memories with her.

Taking a moment to process the first part of the note, I wiped my eyes and continued.

“I know you’ve grown past this, you’re stronger than I ever was. I had some extra time in the hospital, so I made a plan. A plan to send you a letter every year on your birthday. Happy birthday, my love. Meeting each other was destiny, and I didn’t want to leave you alone again, I’m so sorry. If you’re wondering how I’m able to send you these letters long after my passing, you can thank Moonbin for that. He was close enough to you to help me, but not close enough to make you suspicious. I hope the surprise was successful!”

“It was successful alright.” Chuckling through my tears.

“While you were with me during most of my time hospitalized, I had many restless nights, and all I could ever think about was you. So I’m giving you a little sliver of my life that I have failed to tell you during my living days. Maybe that will bring us closer. But if you decide it’s too much, you can tell Moonbin to stop with the letters. I told him it might be too painful for you, so if you asked him to, he would burn them.” Like I’d ever want to burn letters sent by you. 

”I knew after the accident that my time was coming, it was a miracle my mind was intact after the crash. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone else, possibly even myself. Smart, brave, a bit hard-headed, and you have a heart of gold. I hope these letters bring you solace, and you better be taking care of Angkko; you know jus