AN: I feel generous today because that Hwasa teaser dropped earlier looks so good?! I just wanted to show how much Hyejin made my night and I tried so hard to finish this chapter for all of you tonight, I just updated 2 days ago! lmao well, ending's good as done already in my head so...

I apologize for all the flaws this fic has, my eyes are tired. I just really want to post this update tonight. (spelling, grammars, misused words, god, I reread CH12 it's awful) I'll proofread the whole story when I'm done with the story for new readers sake lmao. ENJOY :)

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MAY 2020

She fixed herself as she got into her car, and when she looked presentable she drives her way home. She bought some flowers for Hyoyeon and she trying to calm her nerves, no, she is not hurting this girl, she would never do the things Yongsun did to her to Hyonnie. She parked the car outside of her house and she finally made her way inside, she grips on the bouquet of the flowers so tight as she took few deep breaths. This is the night, she needs to calm down. She's regretting seeing Yongsun now, she could've gone tomorrow, tonight is supposedly Hyoyeon's night. She entered her house where Hyoyeon often stays when she's not too busy in her club. Then there she is, Hyoyeon waiting for her, sitting on her couch.

"Hyonnie, I'm home, I brought you some flo-wers. . ." her words slowly fades when she saw Hyoyeon in her couch, with all of her luggage. "What are these?"

"I'm leaving..."

"WHAT?!" Wheein said in shock as she let the bouquet fall to the floor and run towards Hyoyeon, who's just sitting waiting for her. "Leaving? Why? Where are you going? Hyonnie-"

"I'm sorry, Wheein... I can't, I will never be her."

"What are you talking about? Please please, don't leave me." Wheein said as she kneeled in front of Hyoyeon who's still sitting on the couch, she took Hyoyeon's hands and held her in her own. "Please, Hyonnie, I don't know how could've survived all of this without you, don't leave me-" Hyoyeon squeezed Wheein's hands and smiled sadly at her.

"Is it wrong for me to wish that someday, you’d look at me the way I look at you? or that you'd look at me the way you look at her?" Hyoyeon said and Wheein is just shaking her head with every word she said.

"Please, what are you even saying? I thought we were on the same page."

"I thought so too, I'm so ready to fight for you, I could've stopped you in meeting Yongsun again but I didn't, because if I did that and finally have you because you have never met her again is truly not having you. I don't want to have you because I give you no choice, I want you to choose me over her, but it backfired."

Wheein moved to sit next to Hyoyeon and cupped her face. "I choose you over her, I love you, Hyonnie, please don't do this to me."

"It's not you choosing me over her, it is you loving her more. I should've known that when I left for Japan that I already lose you, no matter how much I do now, whatever I'll do you'll always love her more."

"Where the all of these coming from?"

"I've been with you for all those 3 years, Wheein. I saw you, I saw how broken you are, I saw how much you wanted to be with her, I saw you almost ruining your whole life because you have broken up with her, I saw you live your life in misery because of her, none of that is because of me, and it broke me, it breaks me fixing you. Not a day in those three years you didn't stop thinking about her."

"I confided in you that the woman I loved so much in my past had betrayed me, I told you everything, about how much it hurt to have someone you love to lie to you and betray you and I spelled it out to you over and over again essentially begging you not to violate my trust, begging you not to prove that once again that I was a fool. I trusted you, why are you doing this to me?"

"I have always been afraid of losing you completely... Always been following you closely, maybe that way you'll see how much I cared for you, how much I love you, always been pretending to sharpen my teeth, pretending to not get hurt when all you talk about is her, pretending that I am strong enough to endure all of that for the rest of our lives because she's apart of you, but I can't, the truth is, I am ... scared to death just treading on your shadow and watch you think and love someone that isn't me." Hyoyeon said and she bit her lips. She promised Wheein to ber her rock, to be the one strong enough to carry them both, but this is really breaking her apart. "I'm crazy about you Wheein, hell I would kill for you, but I am not crazy enough to put up with your ex or your feelings for her. Do I want your attention? Yes, Will I beg for it? No."

"Don't I get a say on this? Don't make a decision for us-"

"I'm not making a decision for us, I am making a decision for myself, Wheein. I love you so much more than you'll ever realize, but I just..."

"What?"

"You want her, you need her, you love her, and I will never be her. Honestly, I just wish you would’ve truly loved me because I truly loved you" Hyoyeon said as she kept wiping Wheein's tears, even if she's also hurting all she can think of is take care of Wheein and that's really not healthy for her, she should take care of herself more, more than any other reason.

"But... I love you... I don't want you to keep saying that I don't, because I love you."

"I'm literally breaking up with you, even though we are not really together, you know what I mean... why are you being so nice to me?"

"It's probably because you saved my life and a lot more than that."

"You saved my life first remember? I would never forget how much you changed me as a person, Wheein. At first, I just want this relationship to work more than you do but then I found myself thinking that if ever we became a thing, I would have to deal with you talking about her, and I don't think I cant do that."

"You're exaggerating, I don't do that."

"I saw how you look at her and how you still care so much about her, I know deep down you still crave for her."

"Aren't you hurting? For doing this?"

"I’m destroying myself so you won’t have to, I know you can't break my heart, I know you can't hurt me, I know you can't honestly tell me how you feel, I'm doing this for you, that's how well I know you... Don't be mad at me for sending you on your way..."

"Unnie..."

"Do you understand what I’m telling you? When you’re given an opportunity to change your life, be ready to do whatever it takes to make it happen. The world doesn’t give things, you take things. If you learn one thing from me, it should probably be that. I'm doing this as self-care, I want to stop thinking about you and take care of myself for once, and for you, do whatever you want to do... Write songs, make music, if being with Yong again is on the list, do that... It'll make me so happy to see you live your life to the fullest, without any restrictions, I am your safety blanket Wheein, I hate to admit this but I can never satisfy your heart... I know that for a fact."

"Sorry..."

"You don't have to apologize for not being able to love me the way you loved her, be happy."

"What about you?"

"I can take care of myself..."

"You're still leaving..."

"I just choose to spend time in Japan before going on tour... to heal."

"I don't know how to move forward."

"What about facing your fears now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Forgive Yong... start with that," Hyoyeon said and Wheein contemplated how she will answer her. "You're so scared to forgive her because you're scared to fall for her again, but let's be clear here, you never fall out f love from her, so maybe, try forgiving her."

"You're literally the best person that I've ever met."

"... your lost." Hyoyeon said and she smiled, Wheein did too. "Can you do that?"

"If odds can be on my favor for once, then maybe yes..."

"One favor..."

"Stay for tonight?"

"Wheein-"

"We're not having , Hyonnie. I just want to sleep beside you, if anything you are to me, yes you are my safety blanket, I want you around but I won't be selfish and force you to stay, just give me this one night. Will you?"

"Hmm-kay..."

"I love you, Hyonnie."

"I love you too-" Hyoyeon said and Wheein hugged her.

"I'm really sorry if I ever make you felt used, I don't-"

"No, I know that you're really trying, I see that it's just- it's never going to work out."

"Okay, let's go to bed. Hyejin told me she'll come by tomorrow, I have to resign my STAR contract and she's apparently taking over Yong's too..."

"Ohh? That's a first for her."

"I know, she cares for Yong too."

"Because of you... She needs you too, I see it in her eyes, she's jealous of me and I couldn't be more happier." Hyoyeon said and she smiles, as she helps Wheein and made their way to the bedroom, leaving the flower discarded on the floor.

~~~~~~~

Wheein expected her morning to be better, but life answered her faster than she expected, no, the odds are not in you favor Wheein. She found herself so down that morning as she looks over all of her SNS, it is everywhere.

She literally felt crying, but it's too early for that. It's too late, she's crying a river, she leaned on her couch and started crying. She's shaking, she's scared, not because of being outed like this, she's comfortable with her uality ever since, but her relationship with Yong in the past that caused her too much pain resurfaced, and she felt like relieving everything in one go and that's hard, she's emotionally unstable again, after rebuilding herself for three years. Wheein stood up and rummage her kitchen for some alcohol, she's going back again and it scared her but that's the only thing that can calm her down-

"What do you think you're doing?!" Hyoyeon came out of the bedroom in her jogging outfit when she saw Wheein and rushed towards her. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Hyoyeon held Wheein to stop her and the girl just continuously crying in front of her. "You can't have alcohol without supervision, Wheein! We've talked about this! You're an alcoholic before, and we are already way past that what are you doing!?"

Wheein didn't answer and just gave her phone to Hyoyeon. She hasn't recovered yet from last night and yet here she is today, another day another drama.

"Oh no." Hyoyeon gasp as soon as she saw and she placed the phone on top of the kitchen table and she hugged Wheein tightly. Wheein let herself fall to Hyoyeon as both of them slowly slide down to sit on the floor. 

"Close your eyes. I'll be here and hug you so tight until all your broken pieces will stick back together." Hyoyeon said, just like before, this is exactly what happened 3 years ago. Same crying girl, same ing reason, Kim Yongsun.

"I don't know what to do, Hyonnie. I can't, I just want to disappear-"

"Hey... Wheein? I can't lose you like this, no, I refuse to leave you like this." Hyoyeon called her and Wheein lifted her eyes and looked at Hyoyeon. "Come with me and have a break."

"But you said you need to-"

"Yes, but I can't leave you here, like this. I just can't. Come with me on the first leg of my tour. Just let all of these die down for a month or two, then be back around the end of July on for SOAR tour. What do you think?"

"Should I run again?"

"This is not running, this is distancing yourself from spiraling out again." then they heard the doorbell, and Hyoyeon rushes to the door and opened the door to see a worried Hyejin.

"She saw it?" Hyejin asked and Hyoyeon nods.

"I woke up to her crying, she started going through her alcohol stacks again, but I caught her. I should probably discard all of it already. I'll have a jog, please talk to her."

"Should I postpone her contract renewal?"

"and look guilty? No, teach Wheein how to face a problem head-on, we should probably stop treating her like a kid, she always relies on the decisions we make for her, let's start with that."

"Thank you, Hyo-unnie..." Hyejin said and she hugs Hyoyeon.

"Oh! Wheein and I are over, just ask her about it."

"Wait-what?"

"I got to go, I'll be right back." Hyoyeon goes out and Hyejin approached Wheein sitting on her kitchen.

"Hey, pup." Hyejin said as she waited for Wheein to greet her. "Come here." She gave Wheein a hug, just as what she needed. "Hyoyeon told me that you guys are..." Wheein nods and Hyejin smiled. "It is fair for her, she made the right decision, you still love Yong-"

"Why is everyone is telling me that?"

"Because it's the truth, you're in denial. That's okay." Hyejin said and Wheein rolled her eyes.

"If you came here to talk about her then-"

"No, well... I came here to get you, but under current circumstances, I don't think you're still up for it."

"I need a break, Hyejin." Wheein blurted out and Hyejin looked at her. "Well, not like that. Just for this news, I decided to join Hyonnie in Japan and let the news died down."

"What about Yong?"

"What about her?"

"She's... she needs you."

"Can we like-not involve us together now? It's good she's stood up for herself-"

"Because of you...Remember yesterday? You came back and you saw me and you're so mad that we let Yong go alone? I offered that I would love to accompany her, but she told me to stay there and wait for you to come back. You're hurt, yes, that I understand but she's hurting too, she's hurting yesterday more than you do, but guess what? You're still the only one she thinks about. I could go with her and insist to stay with her and support her but no, she told me to stay, that I should stay and she's right. You need me. You need me to stay so that you could go there yourself, how was she last night?"

"We had a particularly painful discussion again, and I feel like its always gonna be like that from now on, wounds are just too deep, Hyejin."

"She's always there waiting for you, just follow your heart okay? Of all people you should know that Yong is pretending to be something she's not or hiding who she really is or what she truly believes in because she got to protect herself and you in the process. This is what she's afraid of from happening, now it's here..."

"Okay, I'll comfort her later. But can you let me go with Hyoyeon tonight? I'm so tired dealing with these already, I need a break. I'll be back when it's already time for SOAR tour, then US for KCON, I need to stay busy, Hyejin."