“Good morning, princess.”, Amber greeted when seeing Krystal just got out from the room, walking groggily while rubbing her eyes.

“Morning, Am.”, she replied and yawned. “I am hungry. What do you have for breakfast?”

Amber opened her fridge and her kitchen cabinet trying to find anything that they can eat. However, there was not enough food for breakfast and there was not enough ingredients to make any kind of proper food. Thankfully, there was still a carton of milk in the fridge and Amber found few boxes of cereals on the cabinet.

“I only got cereals. You okay with that?”, Amber asked, Krystal has placed herself on the sofa.

“I am fine with cereals.”, she said nonchalantly.

When Amber busy pouring the milk and the cereal into a bowl, suddenly there was a ringbell on the door. Amber stopped and furrowed her eyebrow, who would’ve come this early because as far as she can remember, she did have any appointment this morning. Amber curiously move to the door and just opened immediately. When she saw who was standing in front of the door, Amber held her breath and she felt that she was about to collapsed right there at the moment. Ellin was there.

“Hi..Uhm.. Hi Ba.. babe..”, Amber stuttered nervously. “What.. what… uh.. what are you doing here?”, she chuckled, tried to act calm.

Ellin looked at her with a confused face. “Why are you stuttering? Do I need a reason to see my girlfriend? I miss you and I just want to give you a surprise.”, she smiled and hugged Amber.

Amber panicked. She knew Ellin will just go in to her apartment and she will definitely found Krystal, who are still sat lazily on her couch. She tried to think of something so Ellin did not have to go inside, but before she can think of anything, Krystal’s voice startled her and for sure, startled Ellin too.

“Who’s that, Am?”

Amber froze on her spot. Ellin immediately let go of her hug and stared at her, confuse. Someone is inside Amber’s apartment, and it was definitely a girl judging from her voice. In her head, Ellin guessed it was Krystal, but whether it was Krystal or someone else, still it was unacceptable.

“Who’s that??”, Ellin asked suspiciosly.

Amber just kept quiet. Sensing that Amber won't move, Ellin barged in to the apartment. Her heart immediately dropped when she saw Krystal, lounging on the sofa wearing a baggy shirt with long pants that looked like a sleeping attire. Krystal’s face looked shock when she saw Ellin, she didn’t expect that Amber’s girlfriend would come suddenly in the morning. This would definitely create a misunderstanding between the three of them.

Krystal hastily rose up from the sofa and bowed. “Ellin Unnie, good morning.”, she actually felt turned dry when she greeted Ellin.

But Ellin didn’t budge. She was just staring at Krystal in silent with slightly open. There was an awkward silence between them before finally Ellin looked at Amber and spoke.

“What is she doing here?”, she asked in a cold tone, pointing at Krystal and asking an explanation from Amber. Then she turned her gaze to Krystal. “What are you doing here?”

Both Amber and Krystal just kept quiet. They didn’t really know what to say, how to explain it nicely to Ellin as what Ellin saw can mislead her into thinking something bad. They looked at each other as if asking one of them to speak first. Ellin lost her patience at this situation and started to shout.

“Amber!!! I AM ASKING YOU WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE???!!”, Ellin asked again, furiously. Amber can see an anger on Ellin’s eyes.

“Okay.. okay.. Ellin, I can explain this, okay..”, Amber raised her hand, tried to calm Ellin down.

“What do you need to explain, huh??? Why is she here??? Did she spend the night with you?? ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME??!”, Ellin screamed, she had enough of tolerating Amber with Krystal.

“No, Ellin. NO!”, Amber quickly answered. “I didn’t cheat on you, I swear to God! Nothing happened!! We ----”, before Amber can further explain, Ellin cut her off.

“BUT WHY IS SHE HERE? Wearing your clothes in the morning???! ANSWER ME!”

“Nothing happened, Unnie.”, Krystal tried to butted in and defended Amber, she felt bad for making the couple fight because of her.

“YOU SHUT UP!”, Ellin pointed her finger at Krystal. “I don’t trust you!!!”

Krystal immediately went quiet, a bit surprise of Ellin sudden burst out to her. 

“Ellin, really, nothing happened. Our F(x) meeting finished late, so I asked her to stay as it was dangerous if she goes home. But that’s it! We didn’t do anything!!”, Amber move forward and tried to reach Ellin’s hand. But Ellin slapped her hand and pushed Amber away.

“It’s true unnie. Amber didn’t cheat on you. Trust me, we’re just friends, nothing more. I crashed here because it was too late to go home yesterday.”, Krystal tried her luck again to convince Ellin. Although she knew, maybe it was hard for Ellin to believe it.

“LIAR!!!”, Ellin yelled again. “YOU BOTH ARE LIARS! AMBER, you CHEATER!”, Ellin tears started to fall. “YOU CHEATER! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU BOTH! I HATE YOU!”, Ellin shouted uncontrollably, her face looked red as she letting out all of her anger.  

“I didn’t cheat on you, Ellin! PLESE LISTEN TO ME.”, Amber took a step again, making herself closer to Ellin. Ellin breath has become unsteady. 

“I cant do this…”, Ellin suddenly said as she went to the door and about to get out from Amber’s apartment.

“Wait, Ellin. Don’t go, please!!”, Amber grabbed Ellin wrist and just pulled her in a hug. “Let me explain, again, okay..”

“I ----“, Krystal was really confuse, unable to think on what to do. She hated conflict and she doesn't like any kinf of confrontation. “I better go.”, she muttered and gathered her stuff as quick as possible. Krystal just wanted to leave. She didn’t like being here, seeing the couple struggling to fight the trust issue. She felt guilty because the fight happened because of her and worse, she can feel the pain as it reminded her of her relationship with Amber.

Krystal rushed getting out from the apartment, carrying her items as many as she could find in Amber’s room and living room. She can’t be bothered to check whether she already had all of her belongings. When she passed the couple before she got out, she saw Ellin cried on Amber’s arms. She hated this situation, she wanted to bury herself to the ground as she felt ashamed. If they broke up, she felt as if she was the third party in their relationship and she perfectly understand what Ellin feels now.

After Krystal left the apartment, Amber took Ellin and made her sit on the couch. Ellin still cried hard and Amber kept apologizing to her.

“I can’t do this… I can’t do this..”, Ellin kept saying those words like a mantra and shook her head.

“What?? Ellin, please…”, Amber started to beg.

“No, Amber. I can’t do this anymore. I am tired of this. I've had enough.”, she said again, now looking at Amber’s eyes. Amber just kept quiet. She knew what is coming. This will be the end of her relationship.

“I want to believe you, I do. But I can’t, especially after this time. I tried to accept that you and Krystal are just friends and bandmate, I tried not to be overly jealous when you guys were hanging out or when you posted pictures together. I tried to understand, Amber.. I tried. But I can’t anymore. You and Krystal….. “, she gulped before she continue. “You and her.. are still emotionally attached and I --- I can’t ---“, the last words hurt her so badly until she can’t even said it.

Amber’s heart shattered when she heard that words from Ellin. She knew she hurt Ellin that much as she saw loads amounts of sadness by just looking at Ellin’s eyes. She knew that it was her fault, she was unable to create clear boundaries between her and Krystal. Amber saw Ellin’s effort to understand what she have with Krystal and she failed to be grateful for that. Ellin doesn’t deserve this.

“I don’t deserve you. I am sorry.”, Amber said softly. Her tears started rolling down to her cheek. “I love you, Ellin. I really do.”

They didn’t say anything after that, but they both knew that their relationship is over.  

Krystal hurriedly went to the little place (actually, a little bar slash restaurant) that they used to go to meet Amber after she received the text from Amber, informing that she broke up. When she found Amber, sitting at the bar alone, a sad feeling came as she saw Amber’s conditions. Amber looked so devastated, she just staring at nothing with her blank eyes while kept drinking her alcohol.

“Hey..”, Krystal called her softly and patted her back. Amber just smiled weakly when she notice that Krystal was arrived. They drink in silence after Krystal ordered a wine, until Amber broke it.

“Krys.., do you think I am a bad girlfriend?”

 “Huh?”, Krystal looked at Amber, confused.

“I mean, I have lost two girls and lost two relationships because of the same reason, jealousy. But the thing is, the jealousy came because of me. It was my fault.”

Krystal just kept quiet. She didn’t know how to respond to that. Actually what Amber said was true, her relationships ended due to the same reason. At the end, it hurts both parties in the relationship. She sighed before she finally answered.

“No. You’re not a bad girlfriend, Amber.”

“I hurt Ellin, Krystal. And I am pretty sure that I hurt you too before.”, she ignored Krystal’s reply and just said whatever in her mind.

“Amber…., please ---“

“It hurts me too when I saw hurt and anger in Ellin’s eyes. I was so stupid.”, Amber shook her head and drank her alcohol.

“You’re not a bad girlfriend, Amber. At least not to me. I was happy when we dated.”, Krystal also sipped her wine. What she said was true. She was so happy when they were dating, Amber can always made her happy and she treated Krystal like a princess. But maybe sometimes and for some people, love is not enough.

“But you still broke up with me eventhough you were happy?”, Amber raised her eyebrows.

“We broke up because… --“, Krystal stopped. She didn’t like where this conversation is going. “Please don’t talk about that, Am.”

Amber chuckled uneasily, realizing that she may made Krystal feeling uncomfortable with her questions. “I am sorry. It’s just, I feel like a failure. If I didn’t do the same mistake like I always did, maybe I still hold on into one of my relationship at least.”

Krystal grinned and made a small laugh. “So you know what mistakes you made, huh?”

That rhetorical questions from Krystal made Amber laughed. Krystal really know her really well that she can make Amber said it herself that Amber was actually aware what she did wrong.

“I hate break-ups. It hurts!”, Amber blurted out again, just tried to letting out the pain on her chest.  

They fell in silence again. Krystal knew how it feels. Krystal knew how much the pain that she must bear when she broke-up with Amber. Seeing Amber like this, it brought her back to their fight scene when she was run-away from Amber’s life, when she decided to let go of her happiness she shared with Amber before.   

“I am sorry, Amber.”, suddenly Krystal said, she was surrounded by guilty feeling remembering that Amber’s break up was triggered because of her.

“Huh? What for?”

“It was my fault that you broke up with her. I shouldn’t stayed at your place last night. It was… well, frankly, Ellin had every right to be angry with me.”, Krystal hung her head low, silently drinking her wine.

“But we didn’t do any-----“, before Amber can protested, Krystal cut her off.

“Still, Amber.. Still.. It doesn’t matter whether we did or did nothing last night. It was not the right thing to do. I would do the same if I was her. “

Amber let out a heavy sighed. She knew Krystal was right. But the thing is, she also knew that what Ellin said was true. Amber tried to bury it, but she can’t deny that she was still emotionally attached to Krystal. Krystal was special and will always be special to her. Krystal is irreplaceable.

“It was our fault or no-one fault. But it doesn’t matter now. I don’t blame you, Krys. You should know that.”

Krystal smiled. “Thank you, Am.”

Krystal looked at Amber’s eyes, remembering herself on how she loved Amber’s stare.  Then she grabbed Amber’s hand and squeezed it lightly, to feel the hand that she also loves. But she knew that today she can’t crossed the boundary again. It was weird enough that Amber talked to her, an ex-girlfriend, about her recent break-up. Krystal here for Amber not because she wanted to steal Amber’s heart back, but she will be someone who comfort Amber after the break up, someone who will be there for Amber to listen. Pushing all the feeling aside, today, Krystal must become someone that Amber needed the most, a friend.