One step Forward

Endless Journey

Amber looked at Krystal who sleep soundly beside her on the car after Amber picked her up at the airport. Krystal made a wonderful suggestion when she said she will go the LA and meet Amber before Amber starts her tour as Krystal wanted to have holiday in the US anyway. Their situation was still kind of awkward since their fight at the dinner. But they just miss each other a lot and despite the awkwardness, they still cant get enough of each other.  

The plan of dinner with Krystal parents was off the table.  Krystal didn’t want to push Amber further and decided to cancel the dinner with her parents. However, Amber could not help to feel guilty everytime she saw Krystal, she knew Krystal was right but her reaction to Krystal when Krystal informed her that she wanted to tell their parents about their relationship was too much.

Amber caressed Krystal’s hair, smiling lovingly at her lover, eventhough Krystal could not see it because she was asleep. She knew she really loves this girl, and she reminded herself a thousand times that she wanted Krystal in her life. No matter what happen she always wanted Krystal and no-one else. What are she afraid of? Krystal was ready to show her commitment, ready to move one step forward. But why Amber was acting so stupid and prevent that to happen?

Amber took Krystal’s hand and squeezed it. She promised Krystal, she will walk the same path with Krystal and no matter what happen, she will never leave Krystal’s side, ever and she will fight together with Krystal.

Both Krystal and Amber met Jackie, Amber's sister, to have lunch together before they head to Krystal’s hotel. Krystal wanted some privacy with Amber so she decided that it was better for them to stay at the hotel as opposed staying at Amber’s apartment since Amber has roommates. They made plan to meet with Jackie again tonight to have dinner and go out for a drink in a bar.

“Krys, you okay if we have dinner at my house? I think my parents miss you.”, Amber said while they settle themselves at the hotel.

“Yeah, sure.”, Krystal replied calmly as she plopped herself in bed.

“Wear something nice, okay?”, Amber requested as she put their luggage.

“Why ---- Ow yea, we will go out with Jackie, right? Ok, I will put something nice to go out.”

Amber scratch her head. “It’s not that.. well.. uhm… ----“

Krystal furrowed her eyebrows seeing Amber suddenly stuttered. “Huh? Then for what?”

Amber joined Krystal in the bed. Staring at her and took Krystal’s hand. “For my parents.”

Krystal looked at her with confuse face. “What? I don’t understand.”

“Eerr..”Amber scratched her head again. “Well.. I --- We… -- I think I want to tell them, about… --- about us.”

Krystal eyes widened, surprised with what Amber just said. Few days ago Amber told her that she was not ready to tell their parents about their relationship and she had to cancel their dinner with her parents. Now Amber suddenly changed her mind?

“Whaat? Why  ---“, Krystal’s jaw dropped, didn’t know how to react.

Amber smiled. “Well, I’ve been thinking about how stupid I am about the ‘tell this parents’ thing. I mean… --- This is what I want, you are what I want.. I am sure of that and if we want to make this happen, make this real, I will ask for their blessing. I should not be afraid because I have you to face this together with me.”

Hearing what Amber just said, Krystal threw herself to Amber and held her tight. She was so happy that finally Amber wanted the same thing with her, walk at the same pace with her. But after a while, she thought about what clothes that she had brought to LA and she started to panic when her brain could not even remember a proper clothes to meet Amber’s parents.

“Omg!”, Krystal slapped Amber’s shoulder. “Why cant you tell me this earlier? I don’t have anything good to wear!!!”

They arrived late to Amber’s house as Krystal needed to change her clothes like 1000 times, panicking and kept asking Amber which clothes that suitable for the dinner. Krystal finally chose one dress when Amber has already lost her patience and just tell that Krystal looked pretty in everything she wears. The dinner went well as Krystal updating her activities to Amber’s parents and kept joking around with Jackie.

“So you guys are going out tonight? Don’t get too drunk, okay?”, Amber’s dad said and winked at them.

“Jackie, take good care of Krystal, yeah.”, Amber’s mom added.

“Hey, what about me?”, Amber protested and pouted.

Jackie scoffed. “Nobody wants to babysit you , punk”, then she knocked Amber’s head with her knuckle.

Krystal just laughed at them. Their close relationship reminded her with her relationship with Jessica.  Although, Amber and Jackie’s relationship seemed to be more 'violent' and carefree compared to hers and Jessica, but still, having a close relationship with sisters were always adorable.

“But before we go… -- mom, dad.. I … --- I need to tell you something..”, Amber started. Her parents looked at her with anticipation, thinking that Amber will update them with her new music or something related to music.

Amber’s heart started to race, her mind begin to scramble to find the words to start to conversation. She gulped couple of times. Her parents just starred at her,  waiting patiently about the news that Amber wanted to convey.

Krystal could sense that Amber was extremely nervous. She immediately reached for Amber’s hand to give support, to calm her and to show that Amber was not alone. They’re in this together.

“Mom… Dad..I… --- well.. We… --- uhh.. “, Amber stuttered, still unable to let out anything.

“What is it, honey? Are you okay?”, Amber’s mom started to worry.

Amber inhale and let out a long breath. “Me and Krystal… -- Krystal and I --- we.. uhh.. – we’re together. Like, together together.. We are dating…”

Amber’s mom face changed. Her dad smile faintly and Jackie looked kind of shock hearing Amber’s confession. Although Jackie knew about their relationship, she didn’t expect that Amber will let their parents know this soon.

“We’re together.. and --- and --- uh… --- I.. – we just want your blessing..”, Amber voice started to tremble.

Amber’s mom opened , still trying to recollect the news that Amber just shared. There was silence for a minute before Amber’s mom finally spoke. “Why, Amber? Why?”

“I ----“, Amber didn’t know what to say, her words seemed to stuck on .

“I raised you well. I thought you well and you are a good daughter. Why are you becoming like this???”, Amber’s mom started to cry. Amber’s Dad quickly reached out to her wife’s hand to calm her down. “What have I done wrong? This is wrong!! Why are you like this?”

“Honey, calm down. We need to ----“, Amber’s dad tried to speak but got cut by her wife.

“Tell me, Amber?? Is this my fault? Why are you like this???”, Amber’s mom repeated, her tears fell down non-stop and she started to shout.

“And Krystal??”, Amber’s mom moved her gaze to Krystal, which made Krystal gulp in nervousness and let go of Amber’s hand immediately. “What did you do to Amber? You two supposed to be best friends. What happened????”

“Mom, please..”, Amber sounded as if she was begging as tears also began gather in her eyes. “It’s not your fault.. It’s.. It’s just me.. --- I am like this and I had always been like this.. I was born this way ----“

“No!!”, Amber’s mom hit the dining table. “You were not born that way. I raised you to be a good child. This is not how you supposed to be, Amber!!”

Eomonni --- We are not playing around.. We’re in lo … ---“, Krystal tried to explain but Amber’s mom cut her and glared at her.

“You call this love???? Love supposed to be between man and women! Not like this!!”

“But mom…. –, Amber tried to plea.

“Get out!! Get out now!!! I don’t want to see your face now!!”, Amber’s mom screamed, but nobody moved from the dining table eventhough Amber’s mom already asked them to leave. “Fine. If you still want to be here, I’ll leave.”,  Amber’s mom stood up and ran to her room and slammed the door.

There was another awkward silence in the room, until Jackie broke the silence.

“Dad.. ---“

Amber’s dad sighed and asked Jackie to be quiet. “How long has it been?", he finally asked to Amber and Krystal.

“We started dating since a long time, Dad. Then we broke up and had an on and off relationship. Now we just started dating again, around 1 and half year now.”, Amber explained.

Amber’s dad starred at them both, shifting his gaze between Amber and Krystal. Then he shook his head. “I’ve always notice something different between you two. Can’t believe that now you actually confirmed my suspicion. “

Neither Amber nor Krystal were dare to talk. Amber’s dad looked calm, although there was a bit of disappointment in his tone.

“What are you guys doing?”, Amber’s dad asked again. “You do know that you will get a lot of trouble being in this kind of relationship in this industry, right? Is this really worth it?”

Amber just kept quiet. She took a glance to Krystal, asking for help to answer.

“We will try our best to protect ourselves from this cruel industry. But for me, it is worth it. Because I love your daughter, Mr. Liu.”, Krystal answered. Although her voice a little bit shaking, but there was a clear affirmation in her tone.

Amber’s dad shot his stare to Krystal's eyes as if he tried to find any sincerity and truth there. He nodded few times then looked at Amber. “You are my daughter, Amber. Whatever you are, whatever you become, you are still the daughter I love and the one that I proud of.”

Amber stood up and ran to her dad to give him a hug. She cried hard and buried her face on her dad’s neck. Amber’s dad caressed her back.

“It’s okay, Amber. Look, I think its better for you guys to go now. Try to have fun, go out for a drink. I will talk to your mom.”, Amber’s dad smiled.   

 Amber’s dad turn his head to face Krystal.  “You are like a daughter to me and I believe when you said that you love Amber. Please take care of each other, you know it’s going to be a rough journey between you two.”, he let go of Amber’s hug and embrace Krystal to give her a hug too before letting them go from the house.

Amber drank her alcohol carelessly, trying to wash away her stress. She still remembered her mom’s face, mixed between sadness, disappointment and disgust. Their night out was far from fun, only filled with silence and what Jackie and Krystal did was mostly accompanied Amber who were kept order drink.

“We shouldn’t have told them.”, Amber shook her head. “I told you to wait, Krystal. Look what happened now.”, she looked at Krystal with sour face, her jaw clenched. The alcohol were getting into her system and she started to feel the rage building inside her.

“Hey! Don’t blame her, Amber!”, Jackie jumped in to defend Krystal. “It’s not her fault that Mom reacted that way. Dad will talk to Mom. She’ll come around.”

Krystal smiled weakly to Jackie, as if saying ‘thank you’ because Jackie tried to defend her. Krystal dared herself to meet Amber’s gaze, she slowly held Amber’s hand. “I know Amber and I am sorry your mom reaction was like that. But we both knew that it won’t be easy and expect that kind of response anyway, right? Didn’t we promise that we will stay strong for each other in this kind of situation?”

Amber’s face softened hearing what Krystal just said. She, again, remember the promise she made to herself that she would never leave Krystal whatever happen and they will face everything together. When she asked Krystal to get back together with her, Amber told her that she was sure that there was nothing that they both cant handle. Krystal believed that words and count on that because now, Krystal was here, with her, sharing the burden and the problem they have.

“I am here, Amber. For you, for us. I am not afraid because I have you.”, Krystal supplied again. Amber’s heart was touched when she saw a sincere love that showing in Krystal’s eyes.

Amber squeezed Krystal’s hand that was still holding hers. “I am sorry, Soojungie.. I …-- It’s just.. – I am sorry. I should not have said that to you. You were right, we both will get through this.”

“Okay.. okay..”, Jackie cut them both. “Let’s have a cheers this time. Hey, at least Dad approved!”

Amber and Krystal smiled. What Jackie said was right. This is not all too bad.  

Few days has passed and it was time for Krystal to leave LA and go to New York. Amber on the other hand, also need to start preparing many things for her tour. There was no sign from Amber’s mom and Amber’s dad just said that he was still trying to talk to her wife when Amber asked her Dad about her Mom. Amber and Krystal tried to understand and gave Amber’s mom some time.

Amber was ready to release Krystal to go inside the gate at the airport and hugged her tight. Suddenly, she heard someone was calling her name and she was sure that voice was really familiar. It was her mom’s voice. Amber and Krystal turned their head to find the source of the voice and they found Amber’s parents walked towards them. 

“Mom! What are you doing here?”, Amber was shock, looking at her mom who suddenly appeared at the airport.

Amber and Krystal stood in silence, face to face with Amber’s parents. Amber’s mom kept quiet for a while, her eyes kept shifting between Krystal and Amber, then she started crying and hugged Amber.

Amber was confused for a second, didn’t understand what was going on. But she responded the hug anyway, and tighten her hug when her mom buried her face on Amber’s neck and cried hard.

“I still don’t understand, Amber and maybe I will never be understand. If I can choose I don’t want you to be like this. But you are my daughter and I need to see that my daughter is happy.”, Amber’s mom mumbled in between her sobbing.

“Mom…”, Amber said softly, unable to say anything as her tears also began to fall. She caressed her mom’s back and cried together with her mom.  

Amber’s mom broke the hug, she wiped her tears and then she looked at Krystal. “Krystal, I always regard you as my daughter anyway. If Amber has to go through a relationship like this, I can’t think of better person than you to be her partner.”

A lone tear fell from Krystal’s eyes, partly because she was touched, partly because she was relieved, all mixed together. It was overwhelming to know that Amber’s mom finally come around, trying to accept their relationship. “Eomonni, I promise that I will take care of Amber. I will be there for her, always.”

Amber’s mom moved and gave Krystal a hug. “I know, dear. I know what you always do for my Amber and I am thankful for that.”

After this heartwarming scene is over, Amber’s parents gave Amber and Krystal space for them to say goodbye.

“Well…”, Krystal smiled at Amber.

“Thank you, princess. For being here with me, for facing this together with me.”, Amber took Krystal’s hand.

Krystal giggled. “I have to go now, Am. But with your parents here, I don’t think a kiss would be a good idea.”

Amber smiled and lean forward to give a kiss on Krystal’s forehead instead of her lips. “Take care, princess. I love you.”

“I love you so much, stupid”, Krystal replied, closed her eyes to feel the warmth of Amber's lips on her forehead. 

They stared at each other before parting, as if they wanted to imprint their existing love for each other. There was a satisfaction there, a relief and a sense of pride because now, they were already one step closer to the life that they had always dream of.

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