Winter is over, just like the coldness between Amber and Krystal that has been ended. Their relationship was back to normal, without any complication involved. They were started again as friends, or maybe friends was an underrated term. It’s more than just a friend, as an each other’s special person, like how they always be. But now, without any kissing, any teasing, they already stopped the things they used to do to make their bond became twisted.

They kept their communication in a steady rhythm, checking on each other quite often in every week. Amber was so busy earlier this year with her mix-tape preparation and she just released it last month. Some of the MVs has been dropped and Krystal couldn’t help but to call Amber and said how proud she was seeing Amber showing her true side of herself in every songs that she made. When she first listening Closed Doors by the time Amber released it worldwide, Krystal cried again. Remembering what she felt the first time she was ever listened to the songs. It represents their situation, their fear, but that one pushing Krystal to slowly thinking about what she wanted to do with Amber.

Krystal on the other hand also has a lot on her plate. She was travelling non-stop due to her job, either to attend fashion events, or shooting CF for some luxurious brands. With this kind of situation,  actually there's not much Krystal can do about Amber. But Krystal knew she can't be in a hurry, she has to be patient. She didn’t want to think, moreover to decide, about something as important as her relationship with Amber when her mind has to be divided with many things and her body is tired because of work. Krystal must gave herself a time, like she was also gave Amber’s time to think.

Before Krystal has to go abroad again, she had dinner with her big sister. On the way to the restaurant when they were inside the car, Krystal played Amber’s song in her playlist, one of the happy song on Amber mix tape called ‘Three Million Years’. The song was light, cheesy, but easy to remember and fun to listen.   

“Who’s song is this?”, Jessica asked while she was driving.

“It’s Amber’s.”, Krystal said. Jessica just hummed as a response, nodded her head but she smirked.

“Why?”, Krystal asked again, suspicious at Jessica’s reaction.

“It’s nice.”, Jessica replied in short. “But it’s so…..--- ”, Jessica paused.

“It’s so what?”, Krystal’s suspicion grew larger when she saw her sister a bit hesitate to continue the sentence.

“Did she write it by herself?”, Jessica questioned again, without answering Krystal.

Krystal just shrugged her shoulder. “I don’t know. I never ask though. Why??”, Krystal retorted her questions again, impatiently.

Jessica seemed to think for a while, before finally said “It’s so cheesy.”, she cringe and laughed.

Krystal also laughed when she heard her sister’s answer. “Come on, Jess. You know how cheesy she could be sometimes.”

Both sisters ordered steak and red wine when they arrived at the restaurant. Krystal actually had a feeling that the answer that her sister gave her about Amber’s song was not the actual answer Jessica was about to say. She knew her sister. There must be something else that her sister wanted to say, but maybe she didn’t dare to say it because it was related to Amber.

“Unnie, what do you want to really say when I asked you about Amber’s song?”, Krystal suddenly asked when she already finished with her steak.

Jessica was a bit surprise when Krystal asked that questions, as if Krystal can read her mind. But yeah who is she kidding, it’s her little sister. Of course Krystal would know if she hides something from her.

“It’s not that the song is cheesy right? I mean, yeah it’s true the song is cheesy, even I admit it. But, there is something else you wanted to say right?”, Krystal pressed again.

Jessica let out a defeated sigh and drink her wine. “Okay.. alright.. – When I heard the song, it sounds… -- it’s just so… -- you.”, she finally answered.

“Huh??”, Krystal looked at her sister in disbelief. 

“Like… -- the whole song screams everything about you, Jung Soo Jung.”, Jessica repeated again. Krystal blushed, she could feel her face got red hearing what Jessica just said.

Jessica giggled seeing her sister flushed and quickly added. “Look, I don’t mean to give any hope or whatever. I don’t know whether she wrote it for you or just simply wrote it for whatever reason. It’s just how I see it, or how I hear it.”

“Unnie.. I don’t… ---“

Before Krystal can say anything, Jessica already cut her and asked again. “What’s the deal between you guys anyway? I know you have stopped fooling around. But, like… -- what happens now?”

Krystal groaned. “Aaahh, Unnie.. I also don’t know. I mean, I want to think about this seriously. But a lot is going on right now. I can’t even see her in person, how can I know.. how can…. – I don’t know.”, she ended her sentence with a long sigh, expressing her frustration.  

“What are you afraid of, Soojung? I can tell that you still love her. And judging from your stories, I bet she still loves you too. ”, Jessica pointing it out bluntly.

“I still love her, of course.”, Krystal replied in all honesty as well. “But I am scared of… -- of everything!”

“Well, I know that having a same- relationship when you’re an idol is super very hard, plus we live in the country where that kind of relationship is not 100% accepted. Trust me, I know….”, Jessica paused for a while, thinking on what she should have said next. “But look at me, basically I have to fight a lot for my relationship too right, I mean, maybe lots of people disapprove my choice of partner. And the chaos because of that, you know what it cost me. But at the end, it turns out to be fine now. I am not saying that you have to announce who you date to the world, but whatever hardship that might come, you will never fight alone when you have each other.”

“But… -- but wha ---“

“You believe that she loves you, right?”, Jessica cut Krystal and asked again, drinking her wine in a relax manner. Then she pour some to Krystal’s glass.

“I do. I know she loves me, always loves me.”, Krystal quickly answered it, didn’t bother to drink the wine her sister poured for her.

“Then why do you have to be afraid? Why are you so stubborn to protect your heart?”

“What??”, Krystal shrieked. “Of course I have to protect my heart, my feelings.”, she put her hand on her chest.

“Don’t.”, Jessica said nonchalantly.

“Huh??”, Krystal looked at her sister in confusion.

 “Don’t.”, Jessica repeated.  “Let her do it. Let Amber protects your heart, with her love.”,  Jessica added casually with a smile.

Krystal went silent hearing what Jessica just said. 

“If you believe that she loves you, let her do it. Because she will, she will protect your heart.”, Jessica supplies again.

Krystal still kept her silent. Maybe what her sister said has a point. During this whole time she was too busy thinking about her fear and how she would get hurt if she and Amber fail to go smoothly. But she overlooked the fact that with Amber’s love, Amber would have been willingly, protecting her heart and would not let her to get hurt. She has to trust Amber.

“I…. – I never think of that.”, Krystal finally said after she think about that simple thing her sister said.

Jessica chuckled. “You’re welcome.”

Krystal opened again to say something, but then her phone ringing and Amber’s face showing at her phone screen.

“Aah, speak of the devil.”, Jessica pointed her chin to Krystal’s phone, speaking in English.

Krystal blushed and glared to her sister before finally answered her phone.

“Hi princess!”, Amber greeted happily on the phone. Even when Amber called, moreover hearing Amber greeted her with her happy voice has already made Krystal’s heart flustered.

“Hi, stupid.”

“Guess what??”, Amber asked her with a playful tone.

“Huh? What?”

“I am in the middle of discussing a contract with an agency here”, Amber informed her, full with enthusiasm.

“But… -- but how about SM?”, Krystal was scared that SM will abruptly terminate the contract with Amber and cost her money to pay penalty.

“No.. no.. I have talked to SM about this opportunity. Don’t worry, Soojungie. Uhm, it’s still an early stage of a discussion. They are willing to manage my career here in the US. My activities in Korea will still with SM. I think within next month or two months, we can reach an agreement. ”, Amber quickly explained.

Krystal felt relieved and suddenly, a rush came to her body. Hearing this, she also felt so happy and she wished she could fly there to celebrate it with Amber.

“Congrats, Am. I am really happy for you!!”, she squealed on the phone. “Have you told the others?”

“I will inform the members on our group chat later. I just want you to be the first one to know”, Amber answered it.  

Hearing this, Krystal can felt her heart skipped a bit, when she realized that everything that happened with Amber, Amber never failed to inform her first. You always wanted to share something important first with your loved one, right?

 “We should celebrate. But how?? Why are you so far away??”, Krystal whined in her cute voice. She can see Jessica rolled her eyes seeing her whining like that over the phone.

A giggle can be heard from Amber. “Soon, princess.. Well, maybe not that soon. But I promise not to make it too long. By the way, where are you now?”

“I am having dinner with sister.”, Krystal replied, took a glance at Jessica.

“Hi Amber!!”, Jessica shouted and wave her hand, as if Amber could see it.

Amber laughed hearing Jessica in the background. “Say hi to Jessica unnie, okay.”

“I… -- I kinda miss you, Am..”, suddenly Krystal said, whispering as she sipped her wine. Afraid that Jessica can hear it.

“Kinda??”, Amber .

Krystal sighed and rolled her eyes. “Okay, fine. I miss you.” But it is the truth, they have not met for a long time and Krystal missed Amber too much. She missed having a simple dinner or simple hang-out with Amber, talking to her, cursing at SM, and updating each other’s daily life.

“I miss you too. Honestly.”, Amber said in a serious tone. “Don’t worry, we will find a time to meet, okay. Now, I don’t want to disturb your dinner time with your sister. Just text me later when you come home, alright?”

Krystal smiled and said her goodbye to Amber. Her mood was always bright up whenever Amber contacted her, whenever Amber called her.

Maybe Jessica was right, the song Three Million Years defined how Amber feel about her, regardless whether Amber wrote it for her or not. It’s seemed like a million years they known each other, but the feelings has never change between them. All the fights, another relationships with someone else, all the distance, didn’t let the feelings fade away. Their break-up years ago was a not mistake, maybe they really need it to get through all of these to finally realize that they can’t get away from each other. Krystal valued Amber more and more, getting scared more and more each day that she would lose her. Amber was never a mistake, but Krystal just didn’t want to give a second chance of their relationship, she didn’t trust enough that their love towards each other would be enough for them.

If Krystal didn’t want to lose her, why she keep pushing Amber away?

“You look happy.”, Jessica said after Krystal hung up her phone.

“I am. I think…. -- I know what I want.”, Krystal said with a firm voice.

“Glad I could help.”, Jessica replied it proudly.

“But, Unnie.. What I should do? I mean… -- if I wanted to move things forward? How do I… ---?”, Krystal looked at Jessica in a hopeless face, asking for help.

Jessica looked back at her and furrowed her eyebrows. “How do I know? I already help you enough. Figure it by yourself.”

“Yah! Unnniieee…”, Krystal whined again and Jessica just laughed at her.

When Krystal arrived home, Krystal immediately informed Amber that she has reached home. She didn’t even bother to change her clothes first and went straight taking out her phone and text Amber.

Krystal: ‘I am home, Am. What are you doing?’

Amber’s reply came within seconds.

Amber: ‘Having breakfast. Just finished my morning run.’

Krystal smiled. She could imagine how hot Amber when she was sweating from her work-out.

Krystal: ’Your body definitely looks good if you exercise like that’.

 Krystal didn’t know what got into her, but she dared herself to have a little flirting with Amber. She just wanted to start giving Amber a hint that she was ready to take one step forward. Get a little bit closer now.

Amber: ’What?? Are you drunk?’

Krystal sighed seeing Amber’s reply. The tomboy was oblivious of her intention. Or maybe Amber just got confused on her sudden flirt, like out of nowhere. Amber didn’t even flirt back.

Krystal: ‘A bit’,

Amber: ‘Wine? How many glasses you had?’

Krystal could think a lot of flirting words as her reply to Amber. But suddenly she felt that she blushed, just to think that she would send those playful flirt to Amber. She shook her head and finally typed a neutral reply.

Krystal: ‘Not much actually. Anyway, I am ready to go to bed. Talk to you later?’

Amber: ’Alright. Goodnight, princess’

Krystal: ‘I wish you were here, Am’

Krystal has not giving up, still trying her luck again by flirting with Amber.

Amber: ‘Haha… Okay, you are definitely drunk. Haha.. Go to sleep, princess.’

Seeing Amber’s oblivious for the second time, Krystal groaned and cursed to herself. “Damn it, Amber!!”